TaeTae7879

I was a cheerleader, gymnast and dancer until I was about 21 years old. I slowly started gaining weight after I had my first son. We had moved to a foreign country and I was really homesick. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks after we got there, and I was just really depressed. I'd never been away from home before. Between that and the pregnancy weight, by my sons first birthday I'd gained about 50lbs. Im not sure entirely why I kept eatting, a lot of it was boredem, depression (my husband was military and was gone a lot) and that I didnt feel loved or appreciated. When we moved back to the U.S, I lost about 40lbs with weight watchers, but started gaining once again. I LOVE food. I dont binge, I just eat...all day.
I got pregnant with my second child in 2009, he was a huge surprise, as my OBGYN had told me 2 years prior it would be near impossible for me to get pregnant, between my weight, PCOS and because my periods were so sporadic. I had my son in July 2010 and then my world came crashing down. I didnt realize it at first, but looking back I see it. My husband yelled at me twice in the hospital, once for not moving fast enough for him (seriously?). He left me a few weeks later. I had my surgery a month after he left and at first I did really well, I dropped about 45lbs pretty fast. But over the last 7ish months, I've gained almost all of it back. I'm to afraid to go back to see my doctor and get help.
I guess I screwed this up.