bubbyalice

Well my story is not that extraordinary but i do think there was a bit of serendipity that happened which lead me to having weight loss surgery on Labor Day weekend of the year 2009. I am a single parent to three daughters and lead a rather stressful and full life. The year before my surgery , I was working  full time (and overtime) and also working on the last  four courses of my doctoral studies  (Health Psychology was my major). Well, what seemed like suddenly (I now realize I was a time bomb waiting to go of) all hell broke loose. I was performing horribly at work and received the worst performance evaluation in my working history. I  was having problems with raising my middle daughter and couldn't cope well with not reaching her, I wasn't sleeping well, and I had just failed an elective class (Behavioral Nutrition) after having passed much more challenging classes. (My GPA went from a 3.78 to 3.0). I didn't feel well mentally, emotionally, or physically . I was falling asleep in the car while sitting at trafic lights and I always, always felt exhausted. One day, I decided to go to the doctor and I broke down and cried (this was big for me folks) . She just let me cry for what seemed like an eternity. When I finally caught my breath I sobbed, "my life is falling apart" and I don't know how to stop it. I began to explain everything to her. She calmly said, well for one it seems like you are showing symptoms of sleep apnea. What!!!?? You may not be getting enough oxygen to your brain. Sleep apnea is a serious condition...at that point I sort of phased out everything else. I was thinking how in the world have I gotten to this state. Questions, guilt, embarrasment at having shown my vulnerability, and a number of other feelings I couldn't explain engulfed me. "I can prescribe something to help you get through this difficult time" I said the doctor. I knew she meant antidepressants. I decided to forego the prescription but immediately set up an appointment for a sleep test. The results showed that  I stopped breathing 70 times an hour throughout the night. I was put on a CPAP machine. After much research I learned that excessive weight is a significant reason for the onset of sleep apnea. I realized that if my health were to improve and if i wanted to be around to raise my youngest daughter I had to do something. For a year, I prayed, researched before finally deciding on the lap band surgery. Once I made the decision, little did I know that the real test would lie ahead.  I spent six months in preparation and the folks at TRUE RESULTS were superior in getting me through the many tests. There were some setbacks but I was determined to persevere. This was something that I HAD to do. It was literally a matter of life and death.
I did not tell my family (except my children) that i was having surgery for weight loss. That's snother story but I did not need or want to hear from the naysayers. Why don't you just diet and exercise? Isn't there a less drastic measure? (Oh my gosh I could hear the negativity in my sleep). Nope, my mind was made up and no one was going to persuade me otherwise. What's even more interesting is that the psychologist even said that I wouldn't be successful because I had too many responsibilities to focus on me. He said I needed a lifestyle change. (Sure, I'll sell my kids, quit my job and lie on the beach all day, doc). He also suggested that I had unresolved issues from childhood that I needed to receive counseling for. Well, I took his comments to heart but I didn't let them stick. Foremost, having studied psychology, stress, behavioral modification and the works all those years I know what it takes. I know that my lifestyle and coping mechanisms were detrimental which is why I am going through all of this in the first place. Anyhoo, my insurance company at the time approved me on the first round. I was definitely considered a medical necessity at 270 pounds and 5 feet tall. Thankfully, I suffered no hypertension, diabetes, or other illnesses related to obesity but the sleep apnea placed me at risk.  I went in for surgery in September 2009, the Friday before labor day. I had an outpatient procedure and was sent home the same day. I felt like s****!  I was still very much droggy from the anesthia and I barely remember my daughter driving me home (thank goodness---she had only had her license a few months). Within the next couple of days I was feeling well enough to go to the store. My recouperation was fast. In October (six weeks after surgery), I accepted a job in Maryland and relocated from Atlanta. I began to think about the psychologist"s remarks about stress adjustment. For sure my weight loss was halted because of the stress of moving, starting a new job, getting my daughters enrolled in new schools. I had no time for me and I had no doctor to follow up with since the doctors here were reluctant to follow up behind another surgeon. After two months I found a physician who agreed to take me on. He was very aggressive and adjusted my band from 3 to 6. After a month of coughing and throwing up I went back and he took out 1/2 cc of fluid. For seven months I did well. I lost 25 pounds in addition to the 20  I had lost pre-surgey and the weeks before relocating. However, I was not exercising and I still was not dealing with the stuff that makes me want to eat like crazy.
So now I am at a place where I am ready to deal with the inner stuff. I have been exercising more frequently and it REALLY does make me feel better when I make the time to take care of me. I plan to find and start attending a support group. This really is a lifetime battle. Some days I win and others I get knocked down...but thanks be to God He never lets me stay down for long!