catlover0329

I'm 41 and a single mom of a great 16 year old girl and I've been in a relationship with a great guy that has been going on almost 3 years. I have sleep apnea and underactive thyroid and both are being treated with medicaiton and cpap. Despite the fact I work out strenuously 5 days a week, my weight continues to go up. I looked into having the lap band in 2004 and went all the way through getting approved by my insurance when I chickened out because (1) I decided to try losing weight on my own (despite past failure!) and (2) the thought of giving up diet mountain dew was too painful.

I recently bought a house and my boyfriend took a picture of me mowing the lawn. I will attach a photo if this web site lets me - it didn't yesterday. My boyfriend took the photo to show how happy I looked mowing the lawn for the first time but it made me cry at my desk and made me decide that enough was enough, I could not stand the way I looked any more and it was time to do something about it. Not for him, because he loves me as I am. Not necessarilly for my health, since I am healthier than I have ever been in my life - my numbers (other than what is on the scale) are all good and I get enough exercise and I eat right and I quit smoking about 8 years ago. I admit I want the surgery for me and for how I look. I'm tired of having struggled all my life and still have to look in the mirror and see a fat woman with a double chin staring back at me. I'm tired of avoiding cameras and being in photos with my boyfriend or my family because I know the result will be me crying over how terrible I look.

I want to get married to the man of my dreams living with me in my new house with my daughter and I, and when we do, I want to be proud of how I appear in our wedding pictures instead of sad from how fat I look.

This time around I am willing to make the sacrifices of giving up diet mountain dew (my daily habit) as well as the good feelings that come from sharing large meals such as Thanksgiving and Easter with family. I know that after being banded I won't be able to eat a big plateful of food or pig out at the state fair, and it may feel strange eating such small portions around other people, but I'm OK with that. I want to look better and not be tired all the time so badly that the pros outweigh the cons.

My goal weight is 185, which is pretty good for someone who is 5 foot 10. Since I got pregnant 16 years ago, the lowest I've weighed is about 220. I looked so much better then. I can't wait to get there and get below that and have the look in the mirror that I already work for at the gym!