MandiMand

B-52, I would hope you don't get flamed, your response is very honest, and not judgemental at all! I do know i need to make some changes, and it is so hard not to have that "magic" answer! Catfish, I have sat back and tried to reflect. Over the last few days, I hav come to realize one of things I stopped doing after surgery that I have in the last few montsh picked back up, is drinking my calories. And it is not through Protein shakes, but juices, something that I gave up after surgery, and only occasionally enjoyed. Now it is a common occurence! Also, I think I sometimes don't call it quits when I feel stuck, rather I just keep throwing up, and if I get it out and feel ok, I start eating again! I think this may be an issue best discussed with my therapist. She too had LB surgery, about three years before mine, and she has been great at supporting me, good and bad, throughout this journey.

Hi everyone! Little winded, but here goes: I had lapband surgery December 2011. I was up to almost 8.5cc's in my band by the time September 2012 rolled around, and had only lost 16 pounds. I was working out, felt no restriction, but at the time, the PA at my surgeon's office would not fill me any more, even though I had come in crying to her about the difficulties and frsutrations I was feeling as a result. I once saw her on a Friday, and again on a Tuesday, and even though I lost 3 lbs, I told her this is how my body has been, up and down five pounds for months now, I really need to find something that works, but she still refused. Then I got pregnant. I wasn't planning on it so soon, but it happened. We took all the fluids out at month four, because I could not sleep from the pain and pressure. At six weeks, I got 2cc's put in, and three months later, another 3, and immediately felt TOO full. So we pulled 1.5 out, and here I am at 4. I relocated to a new state in June, and saw a new surgeon here in October. I told him how I'm not sure I'm too happy with my results. Day of surgery I was 216. I got down as far as 200, but kept going back up to 208 and back down. When I got filled after pregnancy, I was 223. I got down to 195, and am now back to 205. During the time I went from 223-195, I was not working out. I explained how I can eat the same thing twice, and once it goes down ok, the next time, no. Mentioned to him how another bariatric doctor in the practice said he was surprised I had not gone for the sleeve, as it helps someone with endocrine issues like I had, lose weight quickly. Either way, I said I am frustrated, I cannot believe that 195 is the lowest I've gone, and I am frustrated with these 10 pounds coming on as well. He said "well, let's keep a food log, maybe we need to tweak something there." That was in October. His office has called to reschedule with me THREE times since, and he is only in this office 1 morning a week, so it makes life more difficult as well. I am seeing him on the 15th (fingers crossed no cancellations!). I just weighed myself today, and despite the fact that I have worked out three times this week, I am at 204.6! On Monday, I could barely eat because I was throwing up, and when I tried some Soup the following morning, I threw that up as well! WHAT IS GOING ON?! Sorry this is long, I am so down and out right now :-(

Rebecca, thank you for posting this! I will be 10 weeks tomorrow, and I have been having the same issues. This past week, I can feel the band constantly. I feel like I am full all the time! I got my last fill about a week or two before I found out I was pregnant. I called my doctor's office, and they can't get me in until the 16th of November, so I have to deal with this for a couple of weeks. A friend of mine who is banded, but not pregnant, suggested maybe I eat soft foods for the next couple of days, to see if that helps. I'm constantly worrying that my band has slipped. Yikes!

I love that analogy about the dragon! :-)

It's been since June. Part of it was scheduling conflicts, but also I was hesitant to go, since the NP was not wanting to give me fills, even when I told her I had no restriction, and I felt like well why did I even get the band? A little bit of background. I was banded 12/30/11, and lost 15lbs almost right away. Then slowly lost another 5-7, and I say this because my weight bounces back and forth between these two numbers. The last time I lost was pretty much March, and I've been stuck since then. Tried stepping up my workouts, and following my eating more closely (including fresh veggies, upping my Water intake, and journaling my foods). Still no success. Went in to see NP in June, she lectured me that since I wasn't losing, I needed to try cutting out my frozen dinners, because it most likely the carbs and sodium doing me in. She also said I would not be getting any fills until I could drop some more weight. Now granted, I should have looked at that as a challenge, but I didn't. So that was my fault. Fast forward to today. Made the appointment with the doc, and told him I feel like I'm fallen off the wagon, I have no motivation, and even when I bring the "A-game" and do what I'm supposed to, I don't lose. And don't lose with my F-game, either, lol. He reviewed my lab results, and said he is concerned, because it appears my metabolic system is not where is should be. He said I am pre-diabetic, and with my triglycerides being elevated, he is thinking I need to see an endocrinologist. Now, this may seem a little strange, but hearing him tell me "look, every day is going to be a battle for you. You can gain the weight back so fast, but it's going to take you a while to get this weight off. It can be done, you just have to know what your challenges are and not let yourself get discouraged. Which I know is not going to be easy all the time," actually lifted my spirits. I think now that I know what my opponent is, I can pick a better battle strategy. Has anyone else had endo-related issues? And if so, how or what did you find helped you to be more successful?

Yes, I have had fills up to 7cc's. The nurse was the one who was actually refusing the fills, but she was the only one whose schedule seemed to click with mine. But two pieces of good news: 1) my schedule is a lot more open now, so I can see the doctors, instead of her and 2) she is no longer with the practice. I can only imagine why! And I agree with you 100%, if I could handle diet alone, why would I have asked for the band.

That I've fallen off the LB wagon, so to speak, to my doctor? I was banded 12/30/11. Lost 15lbs almost right away, and another 6-7 since. My weight goes up three, down 1, up two, down four. I cannot seem to get past 201, other than when I had the stomach flu, and well that is not a way to lose weight. I haven't been back to the practice since June, for two reasons: 1) was in training at work, could not find a time to go that wouldn't have made me miss a lot of work 2) stopped feeling self-motivated. #2 is the biggest reason of all. I was seeing the NP at my doc's office, and she would withhold fills if she felt I wasn't "losing enough," and said when she felt I was eating properly, she would give me another one. Mind you, I'm up to 7cc's in a 13cc band, and other than early morning, I feel NO restriction when I eat. In fact, just to prove a (stupid) point, I ate a portion of what I would normally eat, and it all went down. I felt disgusted with myself after that, and now I don't make a habit of eating this way. But it is still all very frustrating to me. I also stopped going to the gym, although I am going to head over there when I am done typing this. The NP I heard is no longer with the practice, so I have an appt next week. And I know they've probably heard it all, but I am still scared about saying "hey look, I'm messed up, I need help."

Lilac, that is just not cool, I'm sorry they treated you like that. I was banded last December, and haven't gone past a 22lb loss, so I think you're doing great!

Puppypaws, I am seriously considering asking my surgeon to check and make sure everything is connected properly. I have only lost 12lbs to date, and when I see the NP, she acts like if I'm not losing, then I don't need a fill. I am not saying that if I am eating wrong that I don't need to be mindful of that, but when I come in crying that I never feel full, and that something just doesn't feel right, shouldn't I as the consumer, have the right to question and ask for a fill?

Alex, I can't believe I didn't come across this sooner! I am still able to eat rice and pasta, and I have been twice denied now for a fill, because the P.A. @ my WL surgeon's office felt that since I wasn't really losing weight, I needed to learn to eat better. Which I agree with, but I'm NOT LOSING WEIGHT! It is all so very frustrating :-(

Ever since Sunday, I have been getting stuck on anything that is solid, such as meat. I'm sure part of it is due to not eating smaller bites. But with getting stuck, it has been really painful, more so than normal, and I end up throwing up 8-10 times, from only two bites! I woke up Monday with slight stomach pain, this morning with MAJOR stomach pain, and I felt like I still had something stuck in my esophogus. It finally went away once I started to drink, but I'm playing it safe and just having liquids only for the next 24 hours. I'm hoping and praying that it's not my band getting stuck! It's only been since my period this time around (I was banded in December '11). Also, I am going on vacation in two weeks, and seeing my surgeon next week. I was told that bandsters can get tight when flying, should I ask to have some Fluid removed? I'm hesitant, because other than this recent episode, I don't have any restriction. Matter of fact, since my surgery, I've lost very few pounds. I went from 218 day of, to right now, fluctuating from 201-205. I cannot get past 201! This is making me very miserable and wondering if I made the right decision. Especially being on mainly liquids since Monday morning, and I've GAINED! WTH is going on?!

I have a stomach bug, my second since my WLS (Dec '12). I think I have figured out why throwing up from this is way worse than from eating too much. This is food already past the band trying to come up, and it hurts trying to force its way through! It took me six incredily painful dry heaves to finally get something up. It wasn't even that much, but enough that it hurt like a you-know-what! If anyone has any suggestions for what I should be doing during this time (other than avoiding foods and resting), please, please let me know. I feel HORRIBLE right now!

I would say TT. Although it was a hard decision for me, as my boobs have always been big, and pregnancy and aging have not been kind, lol.

I already packed my lunch for today, but I think I know what I'll be having for tomorrow's lunch Thanks!

I went in on Friday for a visit, with the hope of getting a fill. Prior to my visit, I was at 7.5cc. I was feeling restriction only when I ate certain foods, but was still hungry during the day, and pretty much being able to eat the same size portions as prior to surgery. I went in and explained all this, but the NP looked at me like I was nuts and asked why I thought I should have a fill. Mind you, I have gone from 218 to 203 since my surgery in December. I told her I work out 3-4 times a week, and other than my water intake, I am floowing my program, but not seeing any weight loss in a few weeks. She agreed to give me .5cc and acted like this would be "it" for me, no more fills. Has anyone else experienced this? Shouldn't it make sense that if I am not losing, I should maybe have more restriction? Or am I wrong here?

I have 7.5 in my band (I believe it is a 11cc band) and I have only lost 15lbs since my surgery (Dec 2011). A lot of it is on me, because I have those days when I just don't seem to want to do what I know I should be doing. And I've allowed myself to become lazy on those days too. However, even on days when I'm 100% on, I still don't feel restriction. I have identified what foods will cause me pain (pork and breads), and try and stay away from those. I have chewed gum (by accident!) and I feel no pain. I sometimes have an iced coffee, and sip it through a straw, nothing. I occasionally will get a tight feeling and then it goes away in a few minutes. I got on the scale this morning, and I've gained , The last time this happened, they refused to give me more than a .25 fill, which aggrivated me, because if I'm not getting any restriction, I would think it would make sense that I have more in my band. Am I missing something?

I am currently trying Curves Complete, through Curves. The plan calls for me to eat 1500 calories a day, three meals and 2 small snacks which seems reasonable, except sometimes the food is quite literally "too much" for me to eat, and I get stuck quite easily. Not sure if it is the food combinations, or if I am finally starting to feel the restriction I should be. I know to stop once I feel the restriction, but does that mean I should put the food away to eat later, or be done with it altogether until my next meal?

I was thinking something similar about 1500 calories seeming to be a little on the high side. And I get stuck only on certain foods right now (bread and pork!). I decided to try it since I had only lost 12 pounds post-op, which was December, and I wanted a kick in the rear. It's been great for getting me in the gym more, so I guess that's good!

It's never been true, not anywhere at anytime, that the value of a soul, of a human spirit is dependent on a number on a scale. We are unrepeatable beings of light and space and water who need these physical vehicles to get around, and when we start defining ourselves by that which can be measured or weighed, something deep within us rebels. We don't want to eat hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to be hot fudge sundaes. We want to come home to ourselves. We want to know wonder and mystery and possibility; and if instead, we've given up on ourselves, if we've vacated our longings, if we've left possibility behind, we will feel an emptiness we can't name. We will feel as if something is missing because something is missing--the connection to the source of all sweetness, all love, all power, all peace, all joy, all stillness. Since we had it once--we were born with and as it--it can't help but haunt us. It's as if our cells remember that home is a resplendent and jeweled palace but we've been living as beggars for so long that we are no longer certain if the palace was a dream. And if it was a dream, then at least we can eat the memory of it. During the first few bites, and before we get dazed by overeating, everything we want is possible. Everything we've lost is here now. And so we settle for the concrete version of our lost selves in the form of food. And once food has become synonymous with goodness or love or fulfillment, you cannot help but choose it, no matter how high the stakes are. No matter if your doctor tells you that you won't live another month at this weight. Because when you are lost, when you are homeless, when you've spent years separated from who you are, threats of failed hearts or joint pressure don't move you. Dying does not frighten those who are already half-dead. The most challenging part of any system that addresses weight-related issues is that unless it also addresses the part of you that wants something you can't name--the heart of your heart, not the size of your thighs--it won't work. We don't want to be thin because thinness is inherently life-affirming or lovable or healthy. If these were true, there would be no tribes in Africa in which women are fat and regal and long-living. There would be no history of matriarchies in which women's fecundity and pulchritude were worshipped. We want to be thin because thinness is the purported currency of happiness and peace and contentment. And although that currency is a lie--the tabloids are filled with skinny, miserable celebrities--most systems of weight loss fail because they don't live up to their promise: weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Or content. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart. Spiritual hunger can never be solved on the physical level. To read more of Geneen Roth, visit her at www.geneenroth.com. You may also follow her on twitter: twitter.com/geneenroth

You know you're right! I hate to exercise... HATE IT! But at the end of the day when I do fit it in, I feel so much better. I had one week where I let myself slack off, and not only did I feel it physically, I felt it emotionally. I was really surprised by this, but it does truly help with all areas of our life! Yesterday I dropped some frozen items on my toe (not intentionally, lol) and it was super sore. I rested it last night, but today, I am raring to go, even though it may hurt. I'm just going to modify things up a bit so that I don't make it worse, but I WANT to exercise, and this part is great! My couch potato lifestyle cannot continue if I want to see true (and lasting) results! Thank you for this reminder

I usually like to drink my water ice cold. Ever since I had my last fill, I feel like my stomach is cold for up to an hour afterwards. Has anyone else experienced this?

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are all in my prayers.

Yippie! I had to go shopping last night for new clothes for work, and was quite happy to see I am in a size 16 now! I started off as a 20 (probably should have been a 22, but I was in denial, lol), and while the scale hasn't moved as quickly as I would have liked, it is nice to have this happen. Made me feel really, really confident!

Ok, so it will be my 20th Reunion very soon, and I am already freaking out. Back in December when I was banded, I assumed I would drop the weight so quick I wouldn't be having these thoughts, but then reality set in, and I'm down to 203 (218 day of surgery). In high school, my weight flucuated between 160-180. I want to look good for this event, but more importantly, I want to mentally prepare myself for it. I know now I won't be anywhere close to below 160 as I had originally hoped, but how do I convince myself it's ok? Has anyone else faced something similar?

WTG Joel! Your words are very inspiring. And I agree with Difa, update that ticker! You earned it