DESPERATION123

My uncle passed away and the accidental death money he left a portion to me with which he wanted me to have the surgery done. We had talked alot about it prior to surgery. I believe I had gone to three or four fill appointments, which was over a 6-8 month time frame. The only weight that was lost was due to right after surgery and liquid diet. I was begining to get very frustrated when by chance made an appointment in my surgeons office to have the fill done. When my surgeon removed the fluid in my band it was not what it should have been. I was shocked and assumed that it must be leaking. He put me under x-ray and assured me it was not leaking. He is the director over the place that was giving me my fills so long story short I just go to him now.
DESPARATION part: I am eating only mushy foods which in return alows me to eat more. I am really struggling with getting myself back on more solid foods. Its all a brain thing and I do not know how to make myself do this. I have told my doctor that I am still eating to much and I am not throwing up. He puts me under x-ray and refuses to put any more in. So, what to do. Feeling at this point was a waste of money and have become depressed with what my next step should be.