Hello Peeps...I need some assistance please. Pardon the scene setting here, but i want to make sure that i project my situation correctly. I am married to a wonderful man, kind, romantic, loving and honest. We are very fortunate to have established a level of trust and communication that neither of us have experienced in prior relationships. We are blessed with each other, a beautiful child and relatively good health. We've been together for a long time and look forward to an active and fun filled retirement together. So, all sounds good, right? It is, except for the fact that over the past four years, I have been on a steady path of weight gain. I was banded in 2006, lost 60 lbs and then, over the ensuing years, vacillated between gaining/losing the same 20. In 2009, my band did the big slip and I had surgery for it to be replaced, both surgeries were good, free of complications. So, long story short (too late, right?) I continued down the path with my 2nd band and kept trying to find my sweet spot/holy grail that would allow me to eat w/out barfing, sticking, choking or gagging. This banding stage has been less than enjoyable. Fast forward to now..... I have been completely unfilled for approximately 3 years and as a consequence, weigh almost as much as I did when i was banded the first time. also, I still have issues with stuck food, port pains and general eating/digestive problems.
So here's my deal....I must get this band out...MUST...MUST..MUST..before I do myself any more damage. Clearly, it is not helping me to lose weight, and it is definitely contributing to poor eating habits. However, prior to removal and revision, I have two obstacles. 1) my BMI is a sliver below 35 and my co-morbidities are depression, cholesterol, and general joint aches/pains...nothing that insurance considers that detrimental, and 2) my husband is 110% against the thought of me undergoing additional surgery (beyond band removal). He is worried about the risk, the mortality rate, complications from the surgery and the lifestyle changes that are required after someone is sleeved. I see all of these things as valid concerns, but concerns that each of us have to weigh prior to making any decision about wls.
So, here is what I need help with. Has anyone had a really great spouse, someone who gets that this is an individual choice and is not their body, but is still very apprehensive about their partner getting sleeved? Surgery that is "irreversible" is scary, true, I get that, but life down a path of increasing pains and medical complications (not to mention the pure social inhibitions that go along with being overweight) is not a life I want, but is the path that I seem to be on.
Any advice? Any similar situations?
Anyone.....????