Bunnyenvi

I have been overweight for the last16 out of 28 years of my life. I was teased as a child and teenager and was shown much disrespect throughout my life due to being heavy. For years I have tried diet after diet and it was just making me miserable, my top weight was 275 and havent been under 200 since I was 16. I had to seek therapy and prescription medication just to get out and be social, I felt that I would be overweight my entire life and it was just genetics. Since I have had the lap band procedure I feel better already about myself and who I am and can be. I am looking forward to the day the scale is 199, believe me I want it to say 130 but just to see that Im FINALLY under 200 lbs would probablt bring me to my knees! Its been rough Im not going to lie. The preop diet was hell, I was hungry all the time but I just kept reminding myself why I was doing it. Once I had the surgery I thought most of the hunger would go away, and it has, but being on a liquid diet for 2 weeks is killing me!! I desire REAL food so bad, its making me depressed and Im trying not to cheat but have on about 4 days in the last week but not with really bad foods but I have eaten food when Im restricted to liquids. When I do eat the liquids Im full but its not about that its about feeling satisfied with the liquids. I have only eaten V8 soup and water (crystal light) and sugar free popsicles and protein shakes but that only satisfies one for so long then I got sick of them so within the last 4 days I have cheated here and there. I feel extremely guilty but it doesnt stop me. Im scared of streching out the new pouch but Im still miserable if I try and eat only soup. So, here I am coming up into week 3, when I can finally have some food (mushy) which doesnt sound great and I dont own anything that purees so Im wondering how Im going to cope. All I can do is try my hardest and hope I prevail! Im also in college and the stress that comes with that is not helping matters..but I am trying to remain strong! =)