Lissa

My little reward for losing 85 lbs!! 1ct diamond pendant... just a little somethin' from the hubby
Now, I did want to reward myself at the -100 lbs mark, but who am I to tell the man no?!
 
THANK YOU SLEEVE!!!
 
What was some of your rewards for reaching a goal?

I am a closet fan of wigs. Hats, too. Those groovy little Fascinators that all the hoity-toity chic people are wearing are gorgeous and I aim to have one. Of course, I don't want to have just any old Fascinator. I want to buy it in London, myself, so I'll just have to wait until I go there. Hopefully in the fall.
 
In the meantime, my hair is falling out. I was hoping this wouldn't happen, but clearly "hoping" and "reality" are not necessarily acquainted. Damn. (I'm experimenting with swears. On my last post, a tiny little swear was neatly replaced with stars. Checking to see if it happens again ) I have no magic wand, or as Lily Tomlin says in The Kid, "I left my magic bra and panties at home." (If you've never seen The Kid, you might want to rectify that oversight forthwith). So. No Fairy Godmother, no magic wand, no superpowers, and no reprieve. What to do?
 
Growing up on a farm in Northern Canada, I and my siblings were always pretending to be someone we thought far more glamorous or exciting than we happened to be. Since we didn't' have a TV, all of our pretensions to greatness came out of the books my mother read to us. Thus any given play day could include incarnations of Long John Silver, Anne of Green Gables, or Alec from The Black Stallion. My smallest brother generally ran around after the rest of us furiously demanding that we "wait up," and quite unable to manage staying in character with such short legs. This was not the best part. That was always the dress up box. One could not be Athos, Aramis, or Porthos in chore clothes. Most certainly not. And only D'Artagnan could wear the straw hat skewered with a chicken feather that magically transformed whoever grabbed it into the greatest of all the Musketeers.
 
In this box were three wigs. I'm not quite sure of the provenance of these treasures, but I never saw any fleas or nits, so I'm assuming they were donated by good families - probably my mother's long-suffering friends who did not live in the rural wilds and so had no clue as to why she (my mother) could be so very strange, wanting their cast off hair pieces. The wigs were perfect. Suddenly, any one of us could be someone completely different without straining the collective imaginations of our siblings. My rather handsome brother gave a speech once (he stole it from Sir Winston Churchill) wearing his idea of an English gentleman's proper attire and a scruffy brown wig. He was so good (and funny) that we didn't have the heart to tell him that Sir Winston was bulldog ugly and bald. (This all occurred after mom read us a book about WWII which included the British Prime Minister. When years later, my brother finally saw a picture of Sir Winston, he laughed so hard he couldn't tell us why he was laughing.)
 
Back to the wigs. I've always had long hair. Sometimes really long hair, so the wigs would never fit quite right. My cruel and ruthless siblings would inform me that all that hair, piled up under the wig caused me to look deformed in ways which "...make you look retarded." Whereupon one or another of them would demand that I give the wig up and choose some other way of getting myself into character for the forthcoming play. I usually did this without a fight because I did not like the idea of having a lumpy head - no matter what the reason. Those three wigs eventually disintegrated, and by then, we were all way past the stage of dressing up to amuse ourselves on a Saturday morning.
 
I find myself contemplating the wigs in the windows in the 'Hairdressers' Souq' as HWHN* calls it. These are all little stores in the same area which sell all the same things. Everything one could possibly need for a hairdressing salon. In Canada, you'd have to have a trade license to buy most of this stuff, but not here. These wigs are typical of this region. Flamboyant, long, and thick. Currently, my own hair is very short, mostly gray, and getting thinner by the day. I expect that shortly, I may be drooling outside the windows as I gaze at those wigs. But... I am remembering how I always had to give up the wigs from the dress up box, and I have decided that if it comes to that, I am going to have the blonde wig, the brown highlighted wig, and the black wig. I have no hair to make my head lumpy, and I think even all these years later, if I put on a wig, I'm going to be somebody else for awhile.
 
Given my weight loss, and the latest book that I read, I think I might become Amanda from The Bone Collector. Of course, to be truly authentic, the wig will have to be red and curly ...but I could live with that.
 
Here's to great moms, awesome siblings, good books, and endless imagination. Maybe losing my hair won't be so bad.
 
CE
 
*HWHN = He Who Hates to be Named; my wonderful, introvert husband.

There is a comedian that talks about how even as an adult he laughs everytime he squirts out the shampoo and it makes a PPHHFFLLTT sound. Well, I guess I am like that. There are two things I have seen on here that just made me think like a 12 year old...
 
1. In a perfectly serious and nice forum post one user posted "It is official, I am in a stall." Then she went on to describe her frustration at her weight not moving at all for like 2 weeks. Definitely a stall and a very frustrating one. Nothing to laugh at....... Well, all I could think of when I first read the headline was that she was stuck in a public bathroom somewhere. I can just see me stuck in a bathroom - and being the goof that I am - I would text something like....It's official, I'm in a stall!. Sorta had to be there, but I thought it was funny
 
2. The one thing that really cracks me up... and I am dying - literally dying - to be able to use this on some unsuspecting person. In this very specific subject website we have our own vocabulary that no one else uses (foamies, sliming, etc.) And we all know what we mean because there is such a fine and narrow context built into all of our posts. However, we fling around the terms pre-op and post-op like we own them. We do not own them. There is another very narrowly defined group that uses these very same words. And they are not talking about having your stomach cut off. They are aiming lower -much lower.
 
I hope I can just drop in a conversation somewhere that I am 2 months post-op with no additional information. Then just watch to see how people treat me. We all know that big people are treated different. But I can only imagine that if people thought I had just gone through surgery to change my "accessories." That would be hilarious. I couls also probably answer questions honestly. Did it hurt? no. How long were you in the hospital? not long. Do you feel different? oh yes!! Do people treat you differently? yes. Was your family supportive? Yes, especially my wife and kids - that ought to get a look.
 
Then go for the total freak out. Do you want to see my incisions?

NOTE: If Sex is a four letter word to you and you are not comfortable talking openly about it, I recommend that you stop reading right now!!!! ................Go on, I'll wait for you to leave................If you're still here, please be advised that the following blog will be talking openly about sex, sexual positions, feelings during sex, and different forms of sex (meaning oral/regular). If that sentence scared you and you feel that this may be too blunt of a topic, please leave now or forever hold your piece (pun intended) LOL. I do not want to read anything telling me that this topic isn't appropriate. Almost everyone has sex and when you lose weight, the experience changes. That's what I'm talking about today. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, there may be some humor thrown in for good measure.
 
Ok, whom ever is still with me, I thank you for understanding that many things change after weight loss surgery/ And yes, sex is one of those things. How do I know this you may ask? Well, it took a while for me to get all my hormones in check and allow my loving husband to "take charge". Once I was able to do that, not only did I get what I've been wanting for for awhile (three months to be exact), but I have to admit that it was AMAZING. With all the extra hormones in your blood after surgery, the sex is more intense. It's what I would imagine being on ecstasy and doing it would feel like. I am sure anyone who has ever done EX is going, "ummmmm....no, not even close", but since I don't really know, it's what I imagine it being like. The feeling of a touch, kiss, lick and yes, penetration is so much more intense. And for the record...I LIKE IT A LOT!!!
 
So, my husband and I did the dirty today.....banged....got it on...he "hit" that...and any other way you want to say it. I was wondering how different it would feel after an 80lb weight loss. I knew with my thinner body, things would be different, but I didn't expect how different it would be in only two months. First, the ability to be on top and not feel as though I was going to cause his lungs to stop working or his blood to not get to his legs was nice. The better part was that being thinner, my legs wrapped around him much better and I had better movement during the act. In case you're wondering why I'm kind of speaking in code, it's becasue I am not sure just how blunt I can be. What I am saying is that my thinner legs and butt allowed for deeper penetration and becasue of the weight loss, I was able to move more than I have in the past five years. It was also much more enjoyable for him. Having less weight on him made it much more comfortable and he was able to enjoy the act even more than before. Also, when spreading my legs, my thighs didn't peel apart and only allow a small space for him to do what ever he wanted to do. What did happen was that I was able welcome him in with open legs and much smaller thighs. I also didn't feel as though I was smothering him with my thighs while he was ....well, you know. There was no peeling of any kind. Ok, that sounds so gross, but I always said I would be honest about weight loss and we all know that our thighs become very close when we are bigger. Sometimes I've wondered if I could ever get them to separate. Even when I walked they just stayed together or rub one another (sometimes they rubbed each other too much). So, if that visual offended anyone, I am sorry...I am just trying to keep this blog honest.
 
Now, back to the sex talk. I was shocked at the changes with sex so soon. Besides the great orgasms...yes there was more than one.....thank you hormones!!!! (and husband) I felt more comfortable with myself and my body and therefore I was able to be closer with my husband during the act. I don't mean that becasue my stomach was smaller, there was less fat between us (though true). I mean that becasue I felt good about myself and my body that I was able to enjoy the intimacy with him while having sex. Even afterwards, I allowed the intimacy to continue. I wasn't trying to cover up or get dressed afterwards. I laid in his arms and enjoyed our time together.
 
Now, I know I have a lot more weight to lose, but right now I am so happy with the way I look and feel that I can't imagine it getting any better. With that being said, I can't wait until I am half the size I am now. When I have sex then, it will be COMPLETELY different...and I can't wait. I joke with my husband that every time we're together he get's a "new" woman but I get the same man. His response? "I don't want a new woman. I just want you...in any shape or size that may be." Yes, that's why I love him...and how he manages to get me into bed whenever he wants. Now, I just have to figure out how to get him into bed whenever I want and we will be even.

I truly believe that God was by my side today. And I will be admit that sometimes I find myself wondering sometimes if I ever get heard. This is proof that I do, and maybe that fact can help someone else find faith in the Lord along their journey. I've never been one to have much luck with things, a lot of people feel the need to take from me and the relationship department isn't that great, either. After last year I really didn't think that anything good was possible of happening to my life.
 
I was wrong. And God was here today to show me that if you try really hard and you try your best to treat people as generous and nice as possible, that that kindness WILL be returned to you. I asked Him for help today, and he gave me what I asked for. Sure, I could do with being financed the full $18,065 plus some for the pre-op testing, but I am 100% grateful for what I was given. $15,000 is perfect for me because the rest can be made up. I am just so incredibly happy and glad that this happened to me after so many years of feeling like I could never deserve something like this.
 
Thank you. And thanks to those who prayed for me, too.

So for the last few years I've gone up and down the same 10-15 pounds. The lowest I've been is 260 and that's when I've dieted until life had no joy, but if I so much as looked at a piece of bacon I immediately jumped to 270-275ish. And, man, you can really feel a difference in your body at that weight! Yet today I jumped on the scale and it read 257.4!! It might not be onederland, but I'm just as happy! Go Lyra! *happy dance*

well i had my 2nd post op appt and now i have lost 40 lbs since my sleeve surgery March 5th. I haven't been doing my walking since saturday due to high pollen count that is kicking my butt.started at 431 oct.....got down to 417 for surgery march 5 now im at 377lbs. Still got alot to go but one day at a time.