batiircabur

August 23, 2011-I am 27 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I married my soul mate last year on August 9th and we purchased our first house in November 2010. Life is great, however, the one thing that has always been, in the beginning, a problem is my weight. I've learned over the years to deal with it. Love myself for who I am, and for the most part that is my attitude. We have tried for almost three years to have a baby, 1 year with doctor assistance along with meds. I have had every test run possible. I do not have high blood pressure, diabities, thryroid issues, PCOS, high cholestoral...I'm "healthy". I have unexplained infertility, however, every doctor suggests for me to lose weight, and a significant amount. Diet is a familiar word and I've tried several. Some didnt work from the start, slim fast, and some lasted a short while,  weight watchers. I did go to a clinic and use phentermine, and lost 33lbs in 5 weeks. But it was as if I was on hyperspeed all day, my mouth was dry all the time, and I would twitch while I slept, or lack thereof. Recently, I went to another OBGYN because I havnt had my period in 90+ days. Because I was trying to concieve I would track my periods, ovulation, and other information. But after May 19th, 2011 it just hasnt come back. She was going to put me on birth control but after telling her that I do not want to eliminate the possiblity of pregnancy she put me on Provera, a common pill used for women who are trying to concieve but have irregular periods. She also gave me a phamplet for lap band and highly suggested that I at least go to a seminar.
Here is where I am at the moment. Today at 6:30 I will be going to a Seminar with my husband. At first I was very distant to the idea and had all these opinions, that I later found to not be true. I like the fact that it is a gradual lose unlike gastric, which I thought of several years ago. That the port is not outside your body rather inside and that if I was to become pregnant it is something that is easily adjustable to my needs. I want to eat healthy, I want to exercise, I want to tie my shoes without hyperventaliating, and I want to go to a restaurant and sit in the damn booth without a fat pillow showing up on the table. I dont see lap band, as others may, as a "easy" way to lose weight. I know that there is going to be struggles and there is going to be determination and constent motivation on my part. I see the lap band as my inner, will you, self there 24-7 reassuring me that it can and will get done because unlike gyms and friends/family support the lap band wont go anywhere, its there and will always be there with me. I have to do this for not only the health of any possible children but MY future. The future with my husband, family, and self. I diserve to be completley happy and its about damn time I get on the right path.
August 25, 2011- I called my doctor and set an appointment for Monday August 29th at 4:30 to start the first visit of 6 I will need to satisfy my insurance requirments. I wish I would of already been doing this, but I just need to be positive and remind myself that its happening, and to NOT unfold. Keep moving forward, keep looking in front of myself and defeat is NOT an option.