elgrande

HAVEN'T POSTED FOR AWHILE, WAS BANDED 11-8-12, HAVE HAD SEVERAL FILLS I FEEL LIKE I AM IN THE GREEN ZONE AS OF 3-13-13. I HAVE 6 CC IN A 10CC BAND. STARTED AT 225 NOW 200, HAVE HAD BOTH KNEES TOTALLY REPLACED 3 YRS AGO AND LEAD A VERY BUSY LIFE RAISING 2 GRANDSONS. I AM ALSO SOON GOING TO BE 52 YRS OLD.
 
I RESEARCHED THE BAND AND KNOW IT IS A TOOL NOT A CURE FOR BEING OVERWEIGHT, I ALSO REALIZE LOSING THE WEIGHT IS UP TO ME. THE HARD PART IS THE MIND GAMES I DEAL WITH.
 
FOOD IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND AND I FIND MYSELF FALLING INTO OLD HABITS. I AM A GRAIZER AND UNDER ALOT OF STRESS DAILY. EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT HUNGRY AT ALL MY MIND FEELS LIKE I WANT FOOD. THIS IS THE HARDEST THING FOR ME TO DEAL WITH AT THIS POINT. THERE ARE TIMES I WANT TO GIVE UP,SO TIRED OF DEALING WITH THIS FOR SO LONG (30) YEARS , THERE ARE TIMES I GET UP AND SAY TO MYSELF , TODAY IS A NEW DAY AND I WILL NOT LET MY MIND (HEAD HUNGER) GET IN THE WAY BUT IT NEVER FAILS I GIVE IN. I HAVE A HUGE SUPPORT SYSTEM AT HOME AND WORK. HOW IN THE WORLD OR WHEN DOES THE "HEAD HUNGER" EVER GET EASIER TO DEAL WITH???
 
NOT GIVING UP BUT TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH THIS. YOU LONG TIME BANDERS, HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR ME, WOULD APPRECIATE IT . THANKS

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but, because of lack of commitment.” ~Vince Lombardi

For the last four days I have been really trying to focus on what I am consuming to ensure my liver has shrunk. This is hard because I feel like the only thing I eat are vegetables and fruit with creme of wheat and oatmeal. What confuses me is yes I have dropped 6 pounds since Monday but will my liver really be small enough? I can still eat cabbage and greens but I don't know if they are good for me. What I am really considering is after my preop appointment on next Wednesday to just start on the clear liquids for Thursday through Sunday. This would give me at least four good days to try to get my liver smaller. Another bad thing that I am noticing since I have sick with sinus and allergies is that I'm not getting that 64 plus ounces of water a day. As you can see I am in a panic mood right now. Please help me PLEASE!!!

“At some point in life you have to face your fears, and head on even though you can’t be sure of the outcome. A great deal of people will never reach their dreams and it won’t have anything to do with their ability or skill set. They won’t reach their dreams because they were too afraid to try.”
 
~Eric Thomas~

I guess i can start with getting banded right, I guess that is where most start. I was banded on September 2,2011 its a day that you don't forget. I remember feeling scared, nerves, and completely terrified (to say the least). I guess i can also go back to the start of the weight problem right. Well here goes.
Believe it or not i wasn't always a big heavy person. I was 165 in high school and it was all muscle but at the time i just thought it was all fat, and being big boned didn't help my way of thinking or my mothers. She saw big boned as an excuse for fat. Even at my skinniest in high school i was 145lbs. Eating at home was a battle, My mom kept a metaphorical lock and key on the fridge and everywhere in the house that there was food and sodas. I was allowed three meals a day and forget about seconds no matter how hungry i was. And sodas where a no no except to my mom and dad. They could have all the sodas they wanted. She didn't really start to come down on me until high school when i started lifting weights and the weight wouldn't stop coming on little did i know it was muscle not fat. She really came down on me hard and so did my dad. I was playing all the sports i could and ran like crazy everyday. She started me on all the diet pills i could handle until i couldn't eat any more. My sophomore year of high school she thought it was best if i drank slim fast for all meals. I was embarrassed to take the can of slim fast to school so in the morning i would drink the nasty drinks and show her that i was taking one for lunch and head out the door. She didn't give me money because that would only mean that i would eat something from the school. So there i was at lunch time and my only choice was to either drink the slim fast and look like an over weight dork or just not eat. So i chose not to eat. At dinner i would drink my slim fast and after everyone was asleep go to the kitchen and sneak a quick snack and hope she wouldn't know that it was gone in the mornings. That was mostly fine during volley ball season because you don't really run to much. And at school there was always someone willing to give me 50 cents for a soda so i didn't really feel very hungry. But basketball was a very different story. I had a game on a Monday night out of town on of the few games my mother had time to come to, I was playing hard and before i knew it i was on my floor in the gym with my coach and everyone around me. I didn't know what had happened i just remember someone was shooting a free throw and i was ready then i woke up on the floor. I was sitting on the bench and my coach asked me what i ate that day looking at my mom i said nothing really. I told her i drank a shake for breakfast and didn't eat lunch. She asked me when the last time i ate was i said i don't remember. Right then she told my mom i could stay for the game but couldn't play until i was eating again. I don't know what else she told my mom that night but i remember my dad telling my mother that it was enough with diets that if i didn't want to stick with them i shouldn't have to if i was going to go and do things like this. I felt like i had let them down i felt the need to deal with it myself. So from that year until my senior year i had eating disorders like not eating or eating till i thought my stomach was about to explode but i didn't eat at home. I would go to my friends house where her mom knew what my mom was doing to me and would fix me all kinds of food. Im not saying what i was doing was right but i didn't know that at the time.
When i left for college i found a whole new life where i couldn't be controlled by anyone because i made all my own choices and food was my number one obsession. My boy friend was excited that i was eating and never stopped to let me know that i was gaining weight like crazy. Before i knew it i was about 240lbs the heaviest of my whole life. Other traumatic things had happened but ill save that for another story. I moved back in with my mom and that didnt help only now i could go to a fast food place and eat as much as i could and then come home. by the time that i moved out again i was a big 265 and i found it hard to loose the weight once it started. little did i know i have polytheistic ovarian syndrome and it makes it hard to loose weight.
I met the man of my dreams in 2008 we got married in 2009 where i was 275. I wasn't happy about the weight and it would go down and come back i was tired of trying and i didn't care any more i thought well if i cant get past 240 then what is the point. I just didn't care any more. My mom had been on my about weight loss surgery but i didn't think that it was possible and i didn't think that it would work i thought i was a lost cause and i would forever be "The heavy girl". I wouldn't take pictures with my kids or my husband i didn't want to look like a big whale next to small children or a whale next to a man. They are my step kids i don't have any children of my own. I was trying diet pills and all kinds of things but at the end of the day i would just eat and eat and eat.
One morning woke up and just hated everything my feet felt like they where going to explode from all the pressure that i was putting on them and my back was killing me. I was at the end of my rope i wanted to be skinny and i wanted my life back. I didn't like they way people would look at me and i didn't like that i felt so ugly. I hated the way that people would look at me when i went out to eat and the way that i felt when i would eat in front of people. I didn't want to go any where or do anything. I hadn't worn a swim suit in six years or more. And my whole wardrobe was basketball shorts, jeans, and XXX L t-shirts. I felt like a cow and i didn't see an end in site. August 2011 my mom came and got me and told me i needed a change and she was willing to help me no matter what the cost. I was offended of course but i wanted to change i wanted to show everyone that i was more then just "The fat girl" i was someone. I agreed to lap band and it all started.
I didn't know what to expect i was scared and thought they might tell me i was under weight or to fat to have it done. Or later i would hear them talk about how fat i was. But when i walked in to the office i was greeted real nice like i was a real person (something i didn't expect at all) considering all the times i have walked into a doctors office and had been treated like i looked. I met with the nurses and the doctor and they where so nice and caring. And i decided i had made the right choice.
I cried because i was scared every time i met with the doctor to be honest I knew i was going to be cut on and that scared me more then anything. My husband didn't want me to do it because he was just as scared as i was but i did it anyways. The night before the surgery i was so scared i couldn't even sleep. I felt like i was going to summer camp where i didn't know any one. I thought about my doctor telling me that i was going to be beautiful and love the way that i looked and i was going to be happy. It made that day a little easier that and i had lost 20lbs in two weeks that was a boost to. When called to the waiting room i was so scared i couldn't stop crying and i hate crying. They sent many people in there to talk to me to tell me what to expect even a nurse that met me the day before came in to check on me when she didn't even have to. Just to make sure that i was going to be ok. Now i wasn't loud and crazy lol i was just quietly worrying my self to death. they came in and gave me meds to calm me down and man did that i was happy and laughing and making jokes.
When i woke up the pain was ok the gas however sucked. i dont remember much of that day or the next to be honest i was moving around and not eating because my tummy wasn't ready for food but i tried. I know that the gas was gone from my stomach and that was much better. Getting rid of the gas from your stomach for me it was like im about to throw up and all that came out with this horrible burp see they don't tell me that you have to learn how to burp again.
Any ways I went back to the Dr a week later and lost another ten pounds i was happy and i didn't cry when the doctor said im happy to see your not terrified of me any more i said well your not trying to cut me he just laughed.
Since then i have lost a total of 80 something pounds with my ups and downs which i will get to more later, but in the end it is all well worth it. And im so happy that i when through with this. Still six months later.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

I had my LB 11/10/2009 and got laid off from my job 11/16/2009 on the day i returned from surgery.... So I lost my insurance. Thanks God my surgery was covered and one years fellow ups... up to 7 fills.
 
Skip ahead to seven months after and now i'm self pay..... my surgeon charges $235 per fill. So i paid for a fill in July 2010 and then waited till Nov. to get another.
 
Went one year with out going back. Last appointment 12/2011. total weight loss .... 80lbs. 14cc band and with all the my visits and my calculations i should have 10.9cc in my band. My doctor has acquired a new doctor in his office and i saw him that day for the first time. Not a good experiences. Never Never had pain while getting a fill.... but this time... hurt like hell.
He stick the needle in and because i had not been in in over a year he pulls every thing out to see what i have.....pulls up .... 10cc. I'm like what the hell happened to my .9cc. he said it sometime evaporates. OH OK. didn't know that. So he puts in .5cc at a charge of $235. Wen home and i knew something was not right... i was STARVING... and could eat solids. so i called him back and went back in the next day. he pulls up 10CC.... WHERE IS MY .5CC that you put in yesterday? He said... I don't know.... but that will be $85..... WAIT.... WHAT...you are charging me again?
 
so after multiply rants and Bi@ch fests..... and me telling him he was wrong and that he is raping people that are self pay for fill....
 
I WON...... He has now changed his fill price too...... $150. To all of my Dr.'s self pay patients...... your welcome.

Its been 7 months since I started my weight loss journey. I had the Lapband surgery and I'm happy to say I'm down 100 lbs. What I been learning along my journey is slowly but surely if we don't give up and follow the Dr. advice.

Its been 7 months since I started my weight loss journey. I had the Lapband surgery and I'm happy to say I'm down 100 lbs. What I been learning along my journey is slowly but surely if we don't give up and follow the Dr. advice.

Its been 7 months since I started my weight loss journey. I had the Lapband surgery and I'm happy to say I'm down 100 lbs. What I been learning along my journey is slowly but surely if we don't give up and follow the Dr. advice.

Being over weight is a story millions of people can relate to in America. I can tell the "over weight saga" well. All my life I have been the "pretty face", and the "your so pretty but...." Growing up I have always been the chubby kid, and now at the age of 33 I have decided to take control of my weight for good! It is physically and emotionally exhausting being fat. The first thing I think of when I wake is either my weight or what I am going to eat for the day, and it's the same thing I think of before I go to bed every night. It's time to change.
 
The breaking point for me is when I found out this year that I have osteoarthritis in my left knee, and 2 herniated discs in my lower back. I am way to young to have to go through this kind of pain, and it is all a by-product of being obese. I remember as a child my mom would always over feed me and my sisters. In hindsight I think it was because she grew up without, and she didn't want the same suffering for her children. It took me a long time to quit blaming my childhood for my life long battle with weight, and to take control. Of course, I was always picked on as a child being the heaviest one in my family and always felt alone. I won't go into to much cliche story telling of the typical childhood woews of being fat, but yes I went through all the traumatizing cruelness of other kids making fun of you because you are fat.
 
Now, fast forward 15 years and countless unsuccessful diets & exercises later, here I am still fat. Unlike before, my weight loss is not about just looking good or being attractive, it is about having a better quality of life. Being able to go camping, hiking, biking and all the other fun stuff I should be doing without limitations. I want people to know who read this that just because you are over weight does not mean that you are lazy, or unmotivated, it means you have an unhealthy relationship with food that needs help. I have been very fortunate to have a great college education, MBA and other things that require hard work, which if I was "lazy" I wouldn't be able to have attained, but I do have a fatal addiction...FOOD! Of course those who have never struggled with weight cannot relate to this addiction, they simply think "well quit eating," "don't eat as much," "exercise," yes, those are obvious answers and if it was that easy for me don't you think I would have done it by now? Unfortunately unlike other addictions such as alcohol or drugs, your body cannot be without food -- it's a catch 22, if your problem is food, then you should quit, but if you quit you will starve yourself to death so you are at a loss either way.
 
Taking this big step is big, very big for me. I am excited yet still nervous. I am on my 5th day of fasting on protein shakes before surgery and it isn't getting any easier, 9 days to go! I hope that people reading this will continue feeling motivated to stick to the lap band process, or decided to go through with it. You are not alone my friend.
 

I can wear a size 6 underears (actually is a size 8-10 in clothes). Sometimes I still can't believe it. I can't rap this thing in my mind. I've been a size 24 for so long, now I'm a size 12 and still don't grasp it sometimes.