nowatgoal

I know that there are so many people out there that will understand how I'm feeling, so I decided to post. I NEED some support today. My surgery is tomorrow in Mexico with Dr. Kelly. I decided to make the trip alone because I didn't think it was necessary to interrupt anyone else's schedule. I have been crossing off the calendar days, following my two week pre-op diet to the letter (not an easy couple of weeks!), and watching and posting on the boards here every day... and now, it's finally my turn. I have my carry on bag half packed with all the recommended things you all have talked about taking to the hospital. I have my notes typed up for my last pre-op youtube video for shooting this afternoon. I guess you could say "I'M ALL READY"... BUT, I'm not. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Anxious. Teary eyed. My inner voice keep asking "Are you sure you should be doing this?" I'm scared and nervous. I usually embrace change and love a challenge. Some might describe me as a calculated risk taker. So, why am I feeling like such a chicken all of a sudden? Intellectually, I know this is totally normal. But, I thought it would be a breeze for me and now I'm being hit with morbid ideas of dying all alone. Seems a bit silly - but there you have it. I'm not worried about the pain, or the healing, or the diet afterwards. I guess I'm most worried about just waking up alive and well....

I'm ALIVE!!! Had my surgery yesterday afternoon at 4 pm. Got to meet Pam face to face and she provided me with comfort and strength. I'm doing well. We've both been sleeping a lot today. The gas pains are beginning to kick in so I'm trying to force myself to walk. Overall it's all doable and I'm happy that the recovery is only going to get better day by day. I'll post more about it all later, for those that might be interested. Thank you for your prayers and healing thoughts!

Thank you, everyone. I had one last cry as I read your responses - but it was a good cry because I felt supported and that's what I needed. Now I've pulled up my big girl panties (can't remember who says that on here...). Since I'm not about to change my mind, and I'm getting on the airplane in the morning, my worrying about it is doing me absolutely no good. I will keep myself occupied so I don't dwell and what will be, will be. I appreciate the prayers and healing thoughts. Your words of understanding helped me more than you can know. I will post as soon as I possibly can once I'm on that losers bench! BIG SIGH!

Congratulations on Onederland!!! How thrilling to see those numbers! And, yes, you did to it "the successful way". I love that thought. I may use that phrase if I ever have someone say that I did it the easy way. SO happy for you. P.S. Tomorrow is my big day... so I'll see you on the losers bench tomorrow PM. Yikes!

Yeah! Glad everything went well and thanks for letting us know. As I get closer and closer to the surgery date I get more and more anxious. I keep checking to make sure everyone is ending up on the losers bench safe and sound.

Beach Baby, I'm SO excited for you. I'll be sleeved on Monday. When you're able, please let us know how you're doing. I'll be thinking about you and rooting you on tomorrow!!!

So glad to hear that you are doing well. I hope your recovery continues to go well.

I have had migraines in the past and have learned that I need to take headache medicine before it gets too bad. I drink coffee every morning and love my carbs so when I went on the two week pre-op diet and cut those things out, I suffered from headaches for 5 days. I was worried they'd turn into migraines but with tylenol about 3 times a day I was able to keep them from getting too bad. Day 6 I was feeling much better and haven't had a headache since (I'm on day 10 now).

1. I would much rather have a good time in bed with my DH than think about what is for dinner or desert. I can see why you would put this as #1! LOL

Congratulations on your couch to 5k! Fantastic! And 70 pounds in 6 months is a great loss. I've always had a carb addiction. Sweets were not my issue. I worry that I will go back to that way of eating when I'm able. I'm going to have to keep a sound awareness around it. The good thing is that I love protein so if I stick with protein first that will cut down on the carbs. I hope your 5k run goes great. Keep us posted!

Let us know how you're doing. Hopefully everything went perfectly and you are recovering peacefully. Congratulations on being on the losers bench now!

Wow - you look so good! The short hair looks great and you have such a perfect little figure. I would never have guessed you were once over weight.

I like mnbsleeve's two cents!

What a great before/after comparison! You look amazing!!! Congrats!

I'm sorry the last few days have been pretty bad. Is it gas pain, surgery site pain, not being able to drink? Here's the link to the August forum if you still need it... http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/forum/106-august-2011-sleevers/ I hope you are feeling better soon!

I hear you Kami! I'm still so hungry and it's day 5 of 14 - I have had a constant headache too since I gave up coffee. At some point, our hunger should subside a bit since our stomachs are shrinking - right? I don't think my Protein shakes are helping to fill me at all. I'm just mixing one scoop of the Protein powder with Water and there's just not enough substance to it. Maybe I should be buying pre-mixed protein shakes? Are they thicker with more ummph to them? I'm trying to take it one hour at a time, keeping myself occupied to get my mind off my growling stomach. BUT - WE CAN DO THIS!!! And it will all be a distant memory when we get to the other side. Just read what I wrote - I sound so whiny - sorry.

I've decided to "tell my story" through a video journal. I've watched so many Youtube videos made by others about their VSG journeys and it has helped me so much that I decided to quit being a scaredy-cat and make my own vlog. It will help me to look back and see where I've been and how far I've come (hopefully). So... if you have a few minutes with nothing better to do - check out (and subscribe to, if your a glutton for punishment) my FIRST VLOG EVER! http://www.youtube.com/user/slimmingsara Thanks for all the wonderful support this forum gives! Sara

Thanks, Texasmom and Ktkx! I was ridiculously nervous about making a video - have no idea why... but I'm so glad I did because I think it's going to be really fun in the long run to track this journey. Thanks for the subscriptions!

Great post with good info. Like everyone else, I'm lovin' the comeback! I'll try to remember to use that if it comes up. Question - and you don't have to answer if I'm being too forward for you: Chili seems to be pretty popular with VSG post-op and I'm surprised. I love chili but I would have thought it would 'cause (...ehem) issues - since gas/acid reflux is a problem after surgery. Is this not the case?

I know that baby food is simply blended food (plus whatever other supplements the company might add) but there is something about the thought of eating that, that just grosses me out. I can't get there in my head. And using a blender on regular foods seems to disgust me too. Maybe its the look and consistency of it when its done. I guess I'm going to have to be a fork masher and super chewer...

Wow - you're doing really well! Even though you were a low BMI to start with you still seem to losing the weight at a fairly good pace! I hope I can have that kind of success!

Congratulations on getting those liquids in and going home to your hubby and dogs! I don't sleep well when I'm not home so if your like me you're probably really tired and need your own bed. I love reading about those that have just finished their surgery and are doing well. It takes some of the anxiety away for me. I hope each day just gets better and better for you!

You sound rarin' to go, Kami - that's awesome! I started my pre-op 3 days ago. It feels exciting to be running that last lap before surgery. I'm suffering from all day headaches though (probably because I cut out my coffee). I'm hoping today is the last day. I'm doing two weeks with Week one: 3 protein shakes and a salad for dinner. Days 7-4: 4 protein shakes. Then last 3 days just clear liquid. So far, I'm sticking to it and being a very disciplined girl.

Congratulations, Ladybug! So excited and happy for you. Keep us posted on how it goes from here...

Made my first vlog EVER today! Here's the link... http://www.youtube.com/user/slimmingsara Will probably add this to my signature. I've watched everyone's vlog's that posted there's here and really enjoyed them!