LovingLyrics

Thanks for stopping to read my story!
 
Starting weight 259 Size 2x shirt 22 pants
Current weight 185 Size Large shirt 14 pants
 
My name is Joni,
I made the life changing decision to have the surgery when my weight and health became unmanageable. My journey began when I was banded on November 19.2010! It has been a very emotional, rewarding, tough, exciting and interesting ride!
 
“At least I ain’t FAT”. . . . “Fatty” . . . .”Fat Ass” . . “No other man will have you because you’re fat”. and the names go on and on and on! These were a few of the hurtful things I heard growing up! Nobody could ever make fun of the fact I wore glasses, had braces, or big frizzy uncontrollable curly hair! If it wasn’t about my size it wasn’t  “FIT” for name callin. (No punt intended). I never fit in, I was always looked at as the big girl growing up, all I ever wanted was to be normal size for one day. Yes like everyone else I pretended like my weight didn’t bother me, BUT IT DID! I was so miserable in my own skin, I wanted to wear elastic clothes and anything that hid all of the humps and bumps of flubber! My self esteem had gotten so low, I really didn’t even feel worthy.
 
Food was my best friend! It was always there for me, kinda like my security blanket. I ate when I was sad, happy, angry, hurt, emotional, you name it, I ate because of it. I finally decided I couldn’t take it anymore! I wanted to be a “normal” size. After talking with the nurses and having a consultation, I decided the lapband could be my life long friend instead of food.
 
Going into surgery I really don’t think I was prepared for what lied ahead of me. . . I remember waking up from surgery with so much regret! My stomach muscles were soooo sore! (I didn’t even know I had muscles under all that chunkyness) lol! Left the hospital about 4 hours after surgery. I did everything the way I was suppose to, and have been trying my best every since! I have roughly about 30 pounds to go before I get down to my goal weight. Im very satisfied with the surgery, I just wish the weight came off quicker! (I need to start exercising). Anyways overall Im proud of my progress so far, although I think I will always look in the mirror and see the 259 lb Joni instead of the 185 Joni =/ . . . its really sad how insecure I still am! Hopefully one day I will marry a rich and handsome man and he can pay for me a tummy tuck! Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!?!? Haha!!
 
In conclusion, if you are obese and you are considering the surgery, its defiantly challenging and tough at times. In the end its all worth it. . . I say in the end, I believe obesity is something I will never see an end to, its an ongoing battle I will have to face the rest of my life! Good luck to everyone and may God bless you and help you through this ongoing battle called OBESITY!
 
God is GOOD ALL the TIME, and ALL the TIME God is GOOD!
Thanks for reading,
 
Joni Cae <3