Phoenix Rising

Hi Everyone, Just to let you all know I was sleeved on Monday 19th March and allowed home on Tuesday 20th March. I feel fine, exactly as I expected and will tell all on my blog as usual. Just wanted to say YEAH, I'm here and thrilled that I made it this far. It can only get better.

Oh my goodness, this is my last day of pre-op diet. Tomorrow is surgery day, Yea! It is finally here (well, almost). I will be off line for at least two probably three days (no laptop to take with me) so don't panic if you don't hear from me immediately. I am glad we are finally getting there, as the last two days I have started to dream about food. Wow, I have never done that before. The pictures in my head have been wonderful roast dinners with lashings of hot gravy, mmmmmmmmmm. Mountains of steamed vegetables all calling my name. Oh dear, you get the picture. At least tomorrow it won't just be willpower keeping me on the straight and narrow. A huge big thank you to everyone on this forum who has helped me get this far. Without all of you sharing your stories, both good and bad I would probably never got up the courage to go ahead with this. It was seeing so many people of all ages and sizes having such success with the sleeve that made me believe that maybe, just maybe, this could work for me too. So I am excited, nervous, but really looking forward to tomorrow and the rest of my tomorrows as a fitter, healthier and thinner person. See you all on the other side Phoenix :wub:

Hi Holly, Reading your blog on shoes reminded me so much of myself. I have been wearing old lady sandals for the last seven years. You know, the ones that open fully at the front and do up with velcro. Ideal for large feet and feet that swell. I am so looking forward to being where you are now and getting into Real shoes again. I love reading your blogs, they are very revealing and truthful and show what a wonderful person you are. No matter what life has thrown at you, you carry on doing your very best for your family and now for yourself too. Keep on doing that, you are an inspiration to so many people and have touched so many hearts. When I read the piece on the guilt you carried I cried. Your Mother must have been a wonderful lady because she did a fantastic job on raising You. I know you carry her with you in your heart and I also know she would be so proud of everything you have accomplished and more importantly with the way you have done that. With dignity, grace and love for everyone else along the way. Looking forward to reading future instalments Phoenix

Being super cool and organised I thought I would get my case packed. Got it down the other day ready to do that. Washed a variety of old nighties and my dressing gown so they were ready. Decided that my slippers could really do with a freshening up. Big Mistake! I bunged them in the washing machine which promptly decided to eat them!!! Arrrrrrrrgh! Luckily for me my lovely husband went straight out and bought me a new pair to wear in hospital (ain't love grand). He really is a wonderful husband and he looks after me so well. I am still doing the milk diet, but it is getting really boring now. Oh well, only two more full days then I get my op. Hooray. It really can't come quick enough now. I have also been changing my 'tracker' as I have lost another pound, and realised that this year I have lost more weight than ever before in my life. WOW! I did a double take when I realised that I was nearly (well 5lbs off) under 300lbs. I have not been that low for twenty years. Ok, I know 300 is not low by any means, but when you have been as big as I have for as long as I have it is amazing. All this even before my op. I have been walking around with a stupid big grin on my face all day. It also means I have less to lose after my operation which just makes me soooooooo happy. Today I feel invincible. I am trying to memorise exactly how this feels so later on if things get hard and difficult I can boost my morale with the memory of this feeling. Yay me

Thanks Randi, Your right, there is so much going on in hospital I guess I won't have much time for too much other stuff. Besides, I can always people watch (my number one favourite past-time)

Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, feeling really happy about the weight I have lost since being on this milk diet for the last 15 days (9.5lbs) Yea! I know others lose more than that on liquid diets but I retain water so losing that much is wonderful for me. I still have another 4 days to go and if I am lucky I may lose another 2lbs. Either way, I know I have stuck totally to my diet and my liver should just be fantastic and not get in the way of my surgery. Have got my little case down and am wondering what to take with me to hospital, apart from the usual items that is. Books? I usually love to read, but will I have the energy to sit and read? Crossword and sudoku puzzles, but will my brain be able to concentrate on them? Knitting? What did other people do? I have read on here that lots of people take music but I am partially deaf and can't do headphones! I am also re reading all the material I have from the hospital about what to expect so I am as prepared as I can be. I know I am well informed, I know I am ready for this, sooooo, why do I have this little tiny voice at the back of my head going...could I do this without the surgery? For goodness sake, get a grip, you know darn well that you have spent the last 25yrs yo yo dieting and always always always regaining. Of course you need this surgery. It's true, I do know I need this and I will go forward and have it done but I guess everyone who does this questions themselves. I was just surprised that I did! I have been so sure for so long then all of a sudden I hear this voice. Well, having had a long straight talk to myself, I have decided to put a load of tape over that tiny voice to shut it up. I really don't need to hear it right now. So, back to being positive and sure. It won't be long, another three days of liquid diet then the next day my operation and the beginning of a new me. One that doesn't quit, won't look back and will keep losing the weight. Yes, I definately like the sound of this voice.

And so it begins. Congratulations on taking back your life.

Congratulations...on not eating your friend, but more especially going on the hike in the first place. Well done you, I love your blog.

I know I mentioned before that I was not computer literate, but boy, I didn't expect to be able to show everyone how computer illiterate I am so quickly!!!! Sorry to the person who had commented on my last entry (I didn't even get a chance to see the name!) While trying to read it I managed to delete it. Oh well, hopefully you will see this and understand that it was not intentional. The last two days have been quite trying. Not because of the lack of food, but because of (for those sensitive types you may want to stop reading) severe constipation. Wow, who knew it could get that bad. Thankfully I had some fybrogel in the house and got it sorted but not before a lot of discomfort. I think I shall take this every other day for a while to make sure everything is back on track. On the up side, I have lost some more weight. Hooray. I am on day 11 of the liquid diet so have broken the back of it now. I am on the downward count to my operation. Only 7 more to go. As I have not told people about my forthcoming surgery, I have been looking online to see how people who are a long way out are coping and how much they are able to eat. I don't want people to guess by what I am eating about the surgery. I was pleasantly surprised. Before starting the liquid diet I had been eating a fairly full diet but greatly reduced portions and low on carbs. From what I have seen this will be pretty much what I will be able to eat a year from now. I had been eating off a small tea plate rather than a dinner plate to ensure my portions didn't creep up. Judging by the photos people have posted online, this is about the size of meals vsg'ers are able to manage. I am also losing inches, following someone's advice on this forum I took a great many measurements (which in itself was pretty horrifying) as they said this was a great way to track your losses even when the scale refused to move. I will eventually post those measurements, but not until I have lost some more. (Pathetic isn't it, like if you don't know my measurements you won't be able to tell that I am fat!!!) Who am I kidding, if I wasn't fat I wouldn't be having surgery. Well it is very late in England and I have to be up very early in the morning so Goodnight all and hopefully I won't delete the next load of comments.

Hi there, I managed to find and read your blog. You are doing really well, 39lbs. That is just wonderful. You mention that your weightloss is slowing down a bit, I think this is fairly usual from what I have read on this site. However, you will still continue to lose and I am sure it won't be that long before you are in that swimsuit and struttin your stuff. Keep on doing what you are doing as it is obviously working.

Well thank you one and all who added comments here. I had trouble working out how to read them and I am still not sure if I have worked it out. You will probably have guessed that I am barely computer literate, and struggle with how to get it to work for me. So.......I do know how to add an entry to my blog and figure I can answer you all that way until I learn or better still someone tells me what to do. To Afro_Cyster, Yes I am doing liquids only except for a sugar free jelly (which goes down like liquid so I don't think I can call it a 'meal. To amencorner, Not just milk, but an oxo drink, water and squash too along with the jelly mentioned above. To rebecka, Thanks for the lemon and hot water tip, that really helped. To kimmy*custis, There seem to be so many different pre op diets both here in England and in America. I figure if that is what my doctor wants that is what he gets, he certainly knows more than I do, as this is my first and only sleeve. Or will be on the 19/3. You will all be pleased to hear that today was not too bad. Still tough but not as bad as yesterday. I have kept myself busy and whenever I felt hungry I had yet another drink of water or orange squash. So apart from spending an incredible amount of time in the loo!!!! Things are going well. Thank you all for your kind wishes and helpful words. Phoenix

Thanks CAsleeve, I will.

Well, here goes, this will be mainly my ramblings about my vs journey. Never done a blog before so this is another first for me. I started my pre-op diet on the 1st March 2012. This time around it doesn't seem so hard. I am not sure if it is because I know what to expect now or because at the end of it I get my op. I have lost another three pounds since starting it, but I know that I may not lose much more as my body retains water (on medication for it) and will only let go every so often. I will lose a few pounds then stay still for ages then eventually when I think it will never happen again I lose a few more! My husband is being truly wonderful and supportive, in fact I have never known him to be this supportive before, but I am loving it. I think the hoops I have had to jump through to get this far have impressed him, and he has decided to be as helpful as possible. I am having my op on the NHS and they are very strict about a ten per cent weight loss and maintaining it before surgery. (We have been married for thirty years and I have been overweight for all of them, but seriously overweight for the last twenty). I am a regular reader and lurker on this board, but have posted now and then. I have found so much useful information and help here, and have researched all I can, that I feel I am ready for this operation and will do everything I can to make it work. I know from reading other people's stories that it will not be a walk in the park, and that I will probably have to work harder than I ever have before, but I am ready for that. I also know that if I am worried, or down, or just wanting to share good news, I will be welcomed with open and non-judgemental arms here. So, my posts may not be educational, erudite or that interesting to anyone else, but I will feel the benefit of unburdening myself and who knows, I may be able to help someone who may have felt what I felt, or will feel what I may feel in the future.

Having re read my first entry, I knew it was too good to be true! Today has been awful, I have felt hungry all day and my stomach has been growling and complaining fit to be tied. I am still sticking to my milk diet, but oh dear me, it has been really hard today. I have a constant headache, and just feel terrible. (including feeling really sorry for myself). I have another 12 days to go and although I know I will do it (I must) it will be a very long 12 days. So what does everybody else do to distract themselves when they feel this way? I have tried some exercise, reading, doing sudoku and crossword puzzles but all my brain wants to think about is food. My husband had a curry tonight as he knew I was struggling and also knows that I cannot stand curry, bless him. His way of helping at the moment is to eat only things I hate. Isn't that sweet of him. Trouble is, I feel so hungry that even his curry looked inviting!!!!!! I know this will pass eventually, but waiting for that to happen is really tough.

I do know how you feel as I am on day 7 of a 19 day liquid diet. We are not allowed protein drinks other than plain milk. I had been doing great but today has been awful. But, we will get through this and afterwards we will look back and think...it wasn't that bad. (I hope) Keep on keeping on.

I chose mine because I plan to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of my former fat self! (4 more weeks, then surgery.)

It most certainly does not gross me out, it totally delights me. It's reading posts like this that keep me on track and eagerly awaiting my own surgery. I too had a wonderful valentines day with the love of my life. We have been together for 33 years and married for 30 of them. He has always been by my side whatever size I have been and we both are hoping for similar results to yours (although I have way more poundage to lose) Enjoy your golden years, especially those 'teenage' moments. You have worked hard for them and can now share so much more together.

Hi Everyone, I am 55 and have another six weeks to go before I am sleeved. I am struggling to keep my weight down as I must to get my surgery. (I am having it on the NHS and they insist on you staying at the set 10% loss you had to achieve to get on the list, and not regaining before surgery) I have been struggling all my life with weight and been at my highest for the last twenty years. I think that may have a big effect on how my skin looks after weightloss!!! I can't wait to join all of you who have been sleeved, your stories keep me plugging away and with luck I shall soon be able to share my successes with you. Did any of you worry about the possibilities of dying? I don't want to bring anyone down or cause any worries but I have been writing letters to my family just in case. Is this crazy, I am pretty positive and feel I will come through surgery ok but just want to cover all bases. I couldn't bear it if the worst happened and I hadn't had a chance to tell them all how much they mean to me. Did anyone else do this? Or is it just me?

I don't post much but I read everyday, everyone seems so upbeat and appears to be doing wonderfully, preparing for surgery. Am I the only one who is really struggling? My weight has been going up and down like the proverbial yoyo! I am desperately trying to hold down the 10% loss that I had to do to get on the surgery list. It has been a full scale struggle. I am terrified that I won't be able to keep it off until March 19, my surgery date. I am not eating more or doing anything 'wrong' or different so why does my weight keep going up and down. :confused_smile: I am also getting really concerned about one of our number who has been absent from this board for some time. Has anyone heard from SmokyMtnGrl. I know she had her surgery and was doing very well but I have not heard from her or seen anything posted from her since early November 11.

Wow, thanks everyone for your replies and your encouragement. I guess that's why I am such a dedicated lurker. Perhaps I should try and post more often. Rootman: it really helped to know I am not alone, even if it sounds that everyone is doing ok it helped me to know that is not always the case. Does that sound awful, I feel better because other people feel bad, eugh, not nice but I suppose human! We all want to be understood I guess. Congratulations by the way on a fantastic weight loss. thebionicbroad: that was a great way of putting it and it does feel better to know that there are other lurkers who feel like I do. Thank you JayhawkJess33: Yes your right, I should just take each day at a time and hopefully at the end of it it will all work out in the end. LilMissDiva: Hello again, you could be right about the stress. I have been extra stressed recently and that does have a bad effect on me. I suppose it often takes fresh eyes to see a problem. I have tried a private message to SmkyMntnGirl and until Nov 11 she had been replying but nothing since. I don't feel that she would not respond knowing I was worried for her. (which makes me all the more concerned) Thanks for the hugs, they came at the right time. Finaly4me: I like the idea of a journal and might try that. Unfortunately I have no one in my area to talk to and only my husband knows about my future surgery. He is very supportive but he has never been overweight so although he tries to really understand how I feel about it, it is just not the same as someone who has been there. Congrats on the 'running' I am too heavy to run but am doing as much walking as I can.

I have been reading all the comments and heartily agree with most of them. I must have a little mean streak in me though, as I would hand back any of her clothes that you have got too small for and say with a really big smile on my face...I thought I would return these to you as I am sure you will need them again and I most definately won't! This 'competition' that she is having, is already won by you, as you know all those pounds lost will never be visiting you again. Congratulations on how far you've come and enjoy every future pound you lose.

You have put into words so much of what I have felt since being on this site. The six weeks will fly by now and I look forward to your next letter to your sleeve. You know, the one where you congratulate it on a job well done. Best wishes on your journey

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. She is truly beautiful. I hope you, your husband and son enjoy this wonderful addition to your family. The photographs are so lovely, thank you for sharing a very special and private moment with us all.

Well, you may have gathered from the topic title that my last appointment did not go well. I think you could call that an understatement. As many of you will have seen from my last posting I have been having huge problems with Water retention and water tablets not working. I decided to return to my old water tablets on the day of my appointment and did lose 9lbs of water in just over 3.5 hours. Hooray! So that helped alot but I was still carrying at least another 5lbs extra water. Soooo, I went and got weighed and then we had the talk...obviously I had not lost the 5% required and therefore they could not put me forward for surgery. (I had lost the weight but then had the problem with the water tablets and gained water weight!) I explained about the water tablets (that they insisted should be changed!) but it didn't help at all. The woman I was dealing with was just so unhelpful and unfeeling. I showed her my ankles (they were measuring over 16 inches and so full of water/oedema it was impossible to miss) She said and I quote " lots of people have water tablets and they all manage to lose the 5% required!" I was devastated. I asked to speak to someone else above her as I couldn't believe her attitude. The upshot is they are giving me another two weeks to reach the 5% goal. I hope I can do it but with all this water still hanging around I am seriously worried, as they still want me to use the other tablets!!!!! Are they mad, what part of, they are not working, don't they understand. Sometimes I really worry about the NHS and their not too bright staff. (that is not really fair as most people are just brilliant - I was just really 'lucky' and got the moron!) So here we go again, the milk diet for another two weeks (that will make a total of 8 weeks) and if by week one the water is just sitting there I am definitely going against their advice and using my old tablets! Sorry for going on, but I really needed to get that off my chest.

Aw, thanks SmokyMtnGal, I am doing some walking but that is about all I can manage at the moment. Partly because of bad knees and the fact that I haven't eaten anything for the last 7 weeks. I just get so tired. Still I am happy to have lost the weight I needed to lose and I plan to lose a little extra so I am well within their guidelines. How's everything going with you?