Brian66

Doggz109, I am so sorry that your wife is not being more supportive. My wife died in 2007 at the age of 41 after battling cancer for two and half years. I often wonder what she would have thought about my decision to have this surgery. She battled her weight for much of her adult life. She was a wonderful, kind and loving wife, but I often wonder if their would have been some fear/resentment/apprehension on her part at my decision to have this surgery. Now that I've lost 115 pounds, I am sure she would have been thrilled with the results, although I wonder if she would recognize me as I am thinner now than I ever have been as an adult! I will tell you that as the sole parent of my three children, I had some very serious concerns about the safety of the procedure and the risk of leaving them orphans. Ultimately, I decided that the risk of dying slowly from my obesity related health issues was much greater than the risk of having the surgery. I did an awful lot of research and got very comfortable with my doctor and the hospital. I would encourage you to do the same. At the end of the day, I felt like I was taking this step as much for my kids as I was for myself. I want to dance at their weddings and to hold my grandchildren some day and I view this surgery as a way of helping to make sure that these things happen. At the end of the day, as much as you love your wife, you've got to do what is best for you. Keep reminding your wife that you are doing this for her and your daughter as much as yourself Good luck and God bless, Brian

No regrets at all. One year ago, I was tipping the scales at 300 pounds and dealing with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea and significant back and knee pain. I was a single dad raising my three kids following my wife's death in 2007 and I was really scared that I wasn't going to be around to see them grow up. Today, after having my surgery on July 13, 2010, I have lost about 115 pounds and all of my health issues have resolved themselves or are well on their way to clearing up. I am dating a lovely woman and my whole outlook on life has changed. Having said all that, I will also say that it has not been a complete walk in the park -- especially emotionally/psychologically. Fortunately, I have had no physical complications to speak of, but I have found the psychological aspects of the complete change in my relationship to food to be more difficult than I would have thought. I really didn't think I was an emotional eater, I thought I was just a big guy who loved to eat. What I learned after the surgery was that I ate when I was sad, lonely, angry, depressed, bored, upset etc. Suddenly, I found myself facing these emotions without my medication of choice -- food and it was not easy. In the beginning, there momentary bouts of "buyer's remorse" when I questioned whether I had really done the right thing, but, fortunately, those feelings were very fleeting. As time moved forward and more and more weight came off, It became clearer and clearer to me that I had made the right decision for me. My advise for anyone who is considering this surgery. Research, research, research - get comfortable with your doctor and the procedure and then, GO FOR IT. All the best to you, Brian

Thanks to those who took the time to reply with their perspective on this issue. Your thoughts were just what I needed to hear. I especially loved the references to all the tools that we use in everyday life that none of us would ever think of feeling guilty about. Also loved the references to glasses, hearing aids and other medical aids that people need and use everyday. Once again, this forum has given me the push I needed to keep moving forward on this crazy journey. Thanks again, Brian

Joe: I don't have any particular words of wisdom. I generally followed my doctor's instructions and tried to read as much as I could about the procedure and the best post op behaviors. I did drink a lot of Water and other fluids in the beginning. I did a fair amount of walking in the beginning, but I can't remember when I stopped doing so on a regular basis. Other than that, I have really not exercised that much. I am trying to change that and have just started going back to the gym as I'd like to lose another 10 lbs or so. People do tell me that men have an easier time losing than women, so at least we have that going for us. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress. Brian

This past weekend, I was going through some old papers and I came across my childhood medical records. They were on old-fashioned, hand-written index cards on which my pediatrician made notes everytime I visited the office, beginning with my birth in 1966. Of course, my weight was noted for each visit. I came across a notation for one of my last visits to his office - in 1980 - just after I had graduated from 8th grade. I was 14 years old and my weight on that visit was a substantial 185 lbs. I had already been fighting obesity (and losing) for about six years at this point. Imagine my shock when I realized that I now weigh 186 lbs -- just one pound more than I did 31 years ago! It just confirms what I've been thinking lately -- I can't remember ever weighing as little as I do now as an adult. What a miracle! I don't think in my wildest dreams I ever thought I would be here so quickly. It hasn't been a complete walk in the park and there are still days when I miss eating and drinking the way I used to, but, overall, this surgery is the best thing I could have done for myself and my three children. I still have some episodes of trial and error as far as being able to handle certain foods, but I consider it to be a work in progress and I have come a very long way in a very short time. Thanks to all who post here who have given me so much strength and encouragement. To those out there who are considering VSG - don't be afraid - it really works! All the best, Brian

You have been put in a tough position, but I think the first step is definitely to find a new surgeon who believes in the VSG. In addition to the philosophy, I think you want someone who has more technical I went to my surgeon thinking I would have gastric bypass (I knew I did not want the band) and it was my surgeon who suggested the VSG. I am a single father of three young children, having lost my wife to cancer several years ago, so safety and the risk of complications were my main concern. I felt that I was having the surgery as much for them as I was for me. As I said, I was willing to have the bypass, but I wasn't crazy about someone re-routing my intestines. Once I learned that there was a viable alternative with much lower complication rates, I was sold. Having had the surgery in July and lost just over 110 lbs to date, I am thrilled with the results. It has not been a walk in the park and I have had to get used to a whole new way of handling food in my life, but at least I have not had to deal with dumping and some of the other issues inherent in gastric bypass. If you truly believe that VSG is the right procedure for you (as it has been for so many of us), you need to find a doctor who believes in it just as much, if not more, than you do. You deserve nothing less. Good luck to you. Brian

Hi Didi, Welcome to the forum. Dr. Roslin operated on me on July 13th and I only have good things to say about him and his office, with one minor exeption. I went to see him for my initial consultation in late April thinking I would have gastric bypass. When Dr. Roslin saw that my insurance was Aetna (which had just started covering VSG in February), he suggested this procedure to me. I had seen references to it, but never focused much on it. However, the more I read about it and researched the procedure, the more I liked it. I lost about 15 pounds between the time of my initial consult and my surgery date. To date, I have lost a total of about 110 lbs and I am very happy with the results. I found Dr. Roslin to be kind and very willing to answer my specific questions. I am a single parent of three children, having lost my wife to cancer a few years ago, so I was very concerned about the safety of the procedure. Dr. Roslin addressed my concerns and, after my surgery, took the time to call my home to let my mother and children know that all had gone well. I stayed in the hospital for two nights and saw Dr. Roslin once and Dr. Yatco once. Subsequent check-ups with Dr. Roslin have been brief, but positive. I find that, like most surgeons, once the procedure is done and things are going well, he is more focused on moving on to new cases. I have had no complications and feel very good. I also think that I got excellent care at Lenox Hill Hospital, although it sounds like you are thinking about having the surgery in Westchester. I live on Long Island and my main reason for selecting Dr. Roslin was that I wanted to have the surgery in major NYC hospital. My only complaint with Roslin's office was with Mary Rivera, the surgical coordinator. I got the sense that she was new to the job and I felt like I had to stay on top of her constantly to move my case along. She was difficult to get a hold of by telephone and refused to give me an e-mail address which I found very frustrating. Basically, I made a polite pest of myself to make sure that things kept moving along. Even with those minor delays, I think the time frame for my surgery - from an initial consult in late April to surgery in mid-July was still pretty good. Best of luck to you. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any specific questions. Best to you, Brian

Hi Guys, I am just wondering what your experience has been drinking soda post-surgery? I was a huge Diet Pepsi addict before my surgery and have been off it cold turkey since July 12th, the day before my surgery. I went into the surgery thinking I could never have it again, but now I am wondering if that is true. I really haven't found a good substitute and it really is the only thing I miss from my pre-surgery world of eating and drinking and I wonder if I could tolerate a little in moderation (although I alsp wonder if I could keep it to a "moderate level"). I still have to give it some thought and maybe it is a slippery slope that I don't want to start down, but I am wondering how many of you out there drink soda and how you tolerate it. Does your doctor have an opinion about it? Is it true that the carbonation in soda can stretch out our new stomachs? I'd be interested in any information you can share. Thanks, Brian

It's a very personal decsion. I told almost no one prior to my surgery - just my mother, my children and my brother and sister. For me that was the right decision. When I needed to take off from work, I simply said, "I am having minor surgery. Nothing serious, just something that needs to be taken care of." No one had the nerve to ask. Gradually, as people in the office began to notice, I simply told them that I have been working closely with a doctor and a nutritionist - not untrue. Gradually, I have told my friends and extended family and everyone has been very supportive. I think the fact that people can see the dramatic results when I tell them makes it easier for people to accept. A previous post in this chain makes me wonder if people are talking about me behind my back, but if they are, that's their problem, not mine. I am confident that I made the right decision for me for all the right reasons and I am the only person who has to live with my decision. Good luck to you. Follow your head and heart and you'll do fine. Best to you, Brian

This Thanksgiving was my first since having my surgery on July 13th. I've really done very well and have lost just about 100lbs in the 4.5 months since surgery (including 15 lbs before surgery). Anyway, my kids and I travelled out of state to spend the holiday with relatives and we had a very nice holiday. One thing did scare me though -- I was able to eat a whole lot more than I would have expected. I snacked a lot in the hours before dinner (a couple of chips here and a couple of pretzels there) and then at dinner, I was able to eat a small plate of most of the dishes. Granted, I ate a whole lot less than I would have in the good/bad old days, but it did make me keenly aware that I will need to be more diligent about not sliding back into bad eating habits. As we all have been told, this surgery is a tool and it can be misused and mistreated. I know for myself, I will need to watch that. Brian

I told very few people before the surgery - my children, my mother and a few close relatives. I simply told work that I needed a few days off for some minor surgery - "nothing serious - just something that needs to be taken care of" was how I phrased it. It worked fine and no one had the nerve to ask me what I was having done. When people at work started to notice my weight loss, I responded that I have been working closely with a doctor and a nutritionist which is not untrue. As time has progressed, I have started to tell my extended family and close friends. Of course there may be some people who do not agree with the choice I made, but, if there are, they have kept their opinions to themselves which is the way it should be. I always tell people -- it was not an easy decision to make, but it was the right one for me and I have no regrets. I know that people have strong opinions about whom to tell and when, but, so far, my approach has worked really well for me. Good luck to you. Brian

I have Aetna and I found that the approval process went very smoothly. I lost about 15lbs during the 3 month period. I had my initial consult in late April and I had my surgery on July 13th. Generally speaking, I feel like I had more trouble staying on top of my doctor's office to make sure they were moving things along than I did with Aetna. Good luck to you!

Maddie: Thanks for your post. I too have just hit the 100 lb mark and find it hard to believe. I guess it will take a while for the head to catch up with the body. I found one part of your post particularly meaningful -- it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. That is certainly true. It hasn't been easy for me, but at least I have found a tool that works and I honestly feel that I will be able to keep this weight off in a way that I never have before. Thanks again for sharing your words of wisdom and keep up the good work. Brian

Congratulations!! You are off to a great start!

I stepped on the scale this morning (as I do each morning) and was thrilled to see a number that I haven't seen in a long, long time -- 198.8 lbs. The truth is, I can't remember the last time I weighed less than 200 lbs, but I have to think is was more than 20 years ago! Needless to say, I am delilghted with this latest number and can hardly believe that I am here only 4 months after surgery. I am still working on being better about taking my Vitamins and exercising, but overall things are going very well. I am amazed at the changes in my body and I am constantly surprised to find bones sticking out where I had forgetten they existed! People have been very positive about the change in my appearance, although I am still selective about who I tell the full story to. Most importantly, I feel great! To anyone out there considering the VSG - know that it is not the easy way out, but that it does work and will provide you with a tool that is very, very effective. Good luck to anyone out there considering this procedure. I have no regrets and would do it again in a heartbeat! Best, Brian

This is a very personal decision. When I had my surgery in July, I told only my mother, my three children, my brother and my wife's sister (who is like a sister to me) (my wife is deceased). I took the train and subway to the hospital myself on the day of surgery and checked myself in. I had the surgery at about 7:00 pm and I was able to call my family at about 11:00 pm to tell them that I was fine. Like you, I didn't want to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions on the surgery. I researched my options very carefully and I felt very comfortable with my decision. I didn't want anyone second guessing me. I also think a part of me was afraid that the surgery wouldn't work and that the fewer people that knew about it, the better. Now that I am three months out and have lost 85lbs, I have started to tell close friends and family. For aquaintances and most people at work, I simply tell them that I have been "working with a doctor and a nutritionist." This is not untrue and I think it is all some people need to know. The good news is that for the friends and family I have told, people have been incredibly positive and supportive and that has helped a great deal. I think that it also helps them accept my decision (not that I really need their approval/acceptance) when they see all the weight I have lost. I personally think it would be a mistake not to tell your boyfriend, but only you can make that decision. If this guy is a keeper and you are in the relationship for the long haul, I think you should discuss it with him before hand. I know I would be hurt and upset if my girlfriend didn't share a decision like that with me. Good luck to you! Brian

I got dressed for work today and realized that my belt, even on the tightest hole, was still too big. I went to the shoemaker during lunch hour and had him put two more holes into the belt, so it should last me a little while longer. The lady who owns the shop was really cute -- she didn't charge me and told me that if I gained weight, then she would charge me. What a great feeling! Of course, I could have gone out and bought a new belt, but I think I enjoyed adding the holes to this one even more. Especially, since it wasn't that long ago that the belt was just barely fitting me on the loosest hole and I was just about ready to move up to the next size. I truly do believe I've been given a second chance at making my life work for me. All the best to all of you out there. Brian

Congratulations! I too did some underwear shopping this weekend and bought XL shirts (down from XXL) and large shorts (down from XL). It is a bit of a private victory, but one that needs to be celebrated nonetheless! Thank God for this site -- where else could we post our underwear victories! Keep up the good work! Brian

Hi Molly and welcome! Good luck to you as you start this journey. Molly is my 16 year old daughter's name, so I felt compelled to write to you to wish you well. I was sleeved on July 13th and, to date, I have lost about 83 lbs in total since starting the pre-approval process in late spring. Things have gone very smoothly for me and I have no regrets. I am a 44 year old single dad of three, having lost my wife to cancer almost 4 years ago. It was really important for me to have this surgery so that I will be healthy enough to be here for my kids as long as they need me. The biggest adjustment for me has been dealing with the psychological aspects of eating so much less than I used to. Although I was prepared for it on an intellectual level, I don't think I was quite ready for the emotional side of that issue. Anyway, as I said, no complications and no regrets. I am very grateful that I have been given the opportunity to use this tool. All the best to you, Brian

Christie, You and your husband look amazing! The progression in the photos is striking. Keep up the great work -- you are an inspiration to many people on this board. Brian

I had my surgery on July 13th and I am down about 75lbs since my first visit to the surgeon in late April (15 lbs pre-op and about 60 lbs since surgery). I definitely feel that I am battling depression at this point which seems crazy to me since I have done so well with weight loss. What I have come to believe is that since the surgery and all the eating changes that it requires, I have lost the number one tool that I had for coping with pressure, sadness, lonlieness etc -- food. When my wife died almost 4 years ago at the age of 41, I was really overwhelmed at the prospect of raising my three children on my own. Whenever I felt sad, lonley or angry, I think I numbed my pain and hurt with food. I gained about 30 lbs following my wife's death and I suppose I should count my blessings that it wasn't more. Anyway, now that I don't have the comfort of food, I find myself facing these feelings almost as if I am dealing with them for the first time and it really sucks. I've decided that I need to talk to a counselor about these issues and I am going to make an appointment to see someone tomorrow. I want to feel as good on the inside as I am starting to feel on the outside and I want to move on with my life. Brian

Good luck Mary! We are rooting for you!

Anna, Congratulations!!! This is the first post of yours that I have read and I can identify with so many of the things you've talked about. I even had a soda dream on one of my first nights aftet surgery! I can really identify with what you've written about how scary it can be to be dealing with emotions and feelings without the comfort that food has always provided. Good luck to you as you continue your journey! Brian