Jenineb

I'm a 49 year old female who had her children in her thirties.  My first son was ten pounds, four ounces and my second was eleven pounds  and I had them within two years of each other.  Needless to say I was large!!  And I've stayed large.  I've tried step aerobics, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, starving diets, you name it, I've tried it. My first husband (idiot) left me for a skinny woman in 2011 and it really made things worse. My sons were only seven and five.  But what choice did I have but to move on and support my kids--I've never really felt good again about myself even though I met another man in 2002 who became my husband. He was always "okay" about my weight but I never felt beautiful the way I knew I used to feel.   I feel like I've been pregnant for 19 years!
  I am tired of my back problems, feeling ugly, having a hard time doing things, taking naps in the afternoon ( I call them my "coma" naps) and I just recently lost my second husband Paul in March of this year---it was sudden and sad...he died died of liver cancer.  I was in the process of referrals and seeing doctors when Paul got sick; dying only three months prior to my surgery.  It still makes me cry to think about it.
Having my surgery became the only thing that made me somewhat happy, that gave me something to look forward to ..something for ME.  I've been through many many hardships and I wanted to continue on this path toward a skinnier healthier me and maybe one day find some lasting happiness. I'm also in school for court reporting and am in the last speed class.  School is very very hard though...very hard!!!!!  So hard  sometimes I have absolutely no confidence that I will ever be finished with it even though I am in the 200 wpm speed class!
So my surgery was a success and even though it's only been about ten days since I started trying to lose weight (they make you go on a liquid diet prior to surgery), I've already lost 16 pounds!  I did have a set back the night I came home from the hospital ...I awoke in the middle of the night with severe nausea...it was so bad I had to go back to the hospital for about two more days.  But I'm okay now...never did throw up and I'm proud of that...haha
I have a lot to look forward to, I finally realize that.  I make sure that I do my walking when I can (at night now cuz it's so darn hot during the day ) and when I can, I want to try jump rope exercises! 
I have to say that I am finally feeling excited about my future for the first time in almost twenty years!