BlondieLou -
I am alot like you. I have been over weight most of my life and finally deceided in April to persue the Lap Band. I did not want to have the GB and have them take out and rearrange what I have inside me, they are there for a reason.
My neice is an OR nurse and has actually helped a surgeron with the Lap Band surgery. She asked him all sorts of questions before brining it up to me. I went to his serminar and after I was more interested in it so I started the process with getting refferals etc. Due to insurance, I couldnt see that surgeon but I saw one that is within my group and I am so happy. The first consultation was all about the different types of weight loss surgery. I have chosen the Lap Band (get banded on Aug. 25, 2011) because it is the healthy choice all around. Less evasive, you lose the weight at a slower pace, so you can work on not having the hanging skin etc. He even agreed with me that it would be the best, and we even had the same "ideal weight" that I should get down to. He also stated that it is a LIFSTYLE CHANGE. You have to be willing to change what we have been doing all these years for it to work. You need to excerise 6x times a week etc. It is a tool to help you lose. You can gain weight on the Lap Band just like the other weight loss surgeries. You have to work it for it to work.
I have lost 75 lbs before with weight watchers, but I also gained it back plus some. I know I could lose,, but keeping it off was a problem. Plus, I was losing the weight to look better for a wedding. I have lost weight before because of the boyfriends I was with etc.. and it always has come back on. I am now to the point where I am doing this for me, nobody else. I need to start caring for myself and loving myself instead of everyone else in my life like I always did.
I have a boyfriend right now, who is supportive but also makes verbal attacks. I keep telling him that I am doing this for me, not for him, not for my family, not to be skinny and meet someone new, but for me. The way I see my relationship with him is that it can go 2 ways. Way 1 will be he starts becoming more supportive and change the areas in his life that needs change, or Way 2 will be us breaking up. We have been together for 16yrs and I know what can happen, but I am still going to do it. What happens will happen and I can not let that worry me.
As I went on all my appointments with the pulmonologist, dietician, cardiologist,physciatrist and the surgeon, I was getting excited every day. I had all the doctors and specialists saying to me that this is going to be so good for me and that made me even want it more. In the begining I only told a few close friends what I was doing. Then, I told pretty much everyone at work, as my family already knew what I was persuing. I received great feed back from pretty much everyone. Those who care about you will be supportive. I only had 1 person that made me feel like I was taking the easy way out, but I explained to him, that it is not the easy way out. I still have to make the best food choices, cutting back on how much I eat, when I eat and most of all I have to excerise like crazy, so where does all this sound like the easy way out? After that he apoligized and he understood.
Sorry to keep going on and on, but most of all, you have to decide for you what it better. You have gone thru some rough times, and maybe talking to someone will help you. Most of all you need to remember that you are a great and wondeful person and you deserve the best things in life. Keep on telling yourslef that because I am sure you dont hear that enough. You need to sit back and take control of your life and do what you can to make you happy! START LOVING YOURSELF. It was really really hard for me, and took 40 years to get here, but I am finally here and I am so much happier for it!!
If you want to talk futher on specifics etc...just send me a message, I would be more than happy!