Angie911

SELF SABATOGE. Ive been on both sides...and right now Im the biggest Ive ever been close to 300 lbs. 7 years ago I was 270 lbs and lost 70 lbs...the amount of attention was unbelievable. And like a couple of posters here I went back to my old eating. Now tho,,,I need to loose the weight,,,Im close to 40,,,my health is slipping,,,boarderline high BP, winded climbing stairs. I know Im going to benefit from councilling...as I have already in the past.

Mona I had to tell a couple of people at work about your story,,,they laughed. I have a couple of people at work I would like to have karma set straight....

omg Im gagging,,,but laughing...

Because this is a safe place...

Hi there,,,I did see Dr. McKenna about 2 years ago for about 6 months. The extra $150. is for a metabolic rate test. There is a tube that you keep for future metabolic tests. I found going to her good,,,I would have some great talks with her. My only problem is it was literally across the city from me and I couldn't get there after work in time for my appointments. There is no reason why you couldn't be going to her and waiting for the lap band.

Thanks Brandy...I am going to see if i can order it online.

jjsmiles when did you get banded?

hi Dan,,, know what you mean,,,my ducks are marching pretty good right now...wish my time was here so I can then just keep going. Angie

Brandy...what is the name of that book you are reading? I have a his hers and ours kinda family no true 100% sib,,,2 half bro and half sister,,,3 4 step brothers. Wasn't really raised with any of them and the times spent with them have been good too. BJean,,,ohh my you are so right cause I would of loved a book when we had our first,,,who is 20. I was the paranoid mom that boiled all the Water to rinse his soothers to faceclothes....*sigh I was a whole lot calmer with the second....ha ha

I so did like Dr. Church,,,and fingers crossed he becomes my Dr when the time comes for me. hope you find the right one for you Tyler and you too Dan... please keep us informed. Angie

Thanks Brandy...ya know I was just about to say if it wasn't such a health risk I would be happy the way I am...but I wouldn't be. I don't want to be fat. I wasn't always fat. I want to be healthier,,which would be about 100 lbs from here. Do I want to be prettier,,,ya my husband who is 170 lbs 5'10 didn't sign up for this,,,NOT that he has ever said anything about my weight. But if I was a decent weight,,,there are more things we can do,,,hiking,,scuba diving ( things we did in our early years,,,22 years later...the big hike is a lap around Walmart) Ive had my mom make some pretty rude comments about my weight,,,even when I was a size 8,,,*you know, no one will ever love you if you are fat* and if front of a room full of family and friends exclaiming,,*OMG you have gotten so big I thought you looked pregnant* and the usual *suck in your gut* I gave up...I decided over a year ago having any relationship with her was unhealthy so I informed her I was done. I should feel guilty,,,or sad or something. But I feel relief,,,no having to be her whipping girl..sad yes, wished I had a better mom. I have had (past tense) a rough life. As alot of people on here have. But as an adult no more will I subject myself to that kind of life. Does that mean I loose my family...the kind of family I have who needs enemies... so yes it means loosing my BLOOD relatives,,,and making my own family. Ive done well so far...surrounding myself with healthy supportive,,,and positive people.

I have been using food as my medication,,,my addiction,,,my escape. I started out writing about my history,,,my history sounds like a few of the other posts. Abuse,,,verbal, mental and sexual. Lack of food,,,scared of not knowing where the next meal would come. Family members and their addictions. Im the only one with food addictions...