I just looked and realized i haven't blogged since july i think. wow and i have nothing really exciting to say now. i did make my size 16 for my bday in august and that's where i still am today almost 3 months later. i have had 4 fills and 2 unfills. let me tell you being too tight is a nightmare. i was too tight for 2 weeks(long story about getting into the doctor) and lost 9 pounds, great, but once i got unfilled those 9 pounds came back so fast it made my head spin. now my band is so loose i feel like i dont even have one.
i cant get back into my doctor until dec 5th for a fill. i think i know now i need to be between 7.5ccs and 8cc for my green zone. after those 9 pounds i have just been gaining and loosing the same 2-3 pounds like i was before my 4th fill. my goal was to be in a 14 by thanksgiving, but that's obvioiusly not happening. my only saving grace is that i still go to the gym 4 days a week if not for that i think i would gain all my weight back. am i not eating 100% right now and i know i'm not. i've fallen right back into almost all of my bad eating habits. i just want dec 5th to hurry and get here so i can get back on track. i have friends that say well since you dont have the right filll right now is when you have to exercise self control. WELL WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT INSTEAD OF PAYING $12K FOR A SURGERY I DIDNT NEED WHEN I CAN JUST USE SELF CONTROL!!!!!! ugh! i regret telling some people I have the band now. i am so afraid of going thru thanksgiving with my band like this. i am going to take my appetite suppresants with me cuz i cant trust myself and force myself to drink plenty of water! Sorry for this cry baby post, but i needed to get it out my system. Thanks for reading whomever decides to read this.
jennifer
