Amanda 3.0

LOL Favoredone and Kiki - that thought crossed my mind about the fork. When my stepdaughter put her hand in my plate, I grabbed her hand, and I said, "Right now I am just grabbing your hand, and you probably really hate that, but this could go much worse!" lol Too bad that didn't work! :ph34r:

I am not being judgmental here, but I strongly suggest getting some help for the binge eating. You can hurt yourself if you eat too much, or you might just find foods that slide on through, or you might take up another potentially destructive habit in place of eating, like drinking, gambling, drugs, etc. This surgery is not a cure for binge eating. If you have hunger in your head, it will not go away after this surgery. That said, I am sure that many of us who have had this surgery have definite eating issues. So much eating is about our head and not our stomach. Been there, done that! I still have pangs of head hunger, and I have probably done more "head work" than many. It is a long process. I would suggest additional sessions with a counselor above and beyond what (if any) insurance requires, or maybe check out some of Geneen Roth's books, or even try Overeaters Anonymous if you can find a meeting in your area. Good luck to you, but also take the bull by the horns and address that addictive behavior.

I eat a bit of medium rare steak from time to time. I am three months out. I think the key is to cut it into tiny pieces and chew it very well and avoid any fat. We cook it at home sometimes, as well as order it out. It is one of my favorite foods, although we don't have it too often. It does kind of sit there if I have too much, but I've never had any pain from it. By too much, I mean more than maybe a 2" square piece of meat, if you can imagine such a small amount of delicious steak! You can always try it again next month or in a few months if it doesn't work well now.

He was doing similar stuff before, but not as bad. Of course, before surgery we wouldn't have been sharing a small salad. I don't think he was really hungry, we were just hanging around the airport and I hadn't eaten anything at all. It was a way to spend time together and I needed some food anyway. He is "normal" in size, as in his BMI is a little in the overweight category but he is not fat. He eats without any thought at all. He doesn't pay attention to what is going on around him when he is eating. I think he will be better but will need to be reminded. I know he was upset when he realized what he had done at the airport with his trash. I totally agree with what you have posted here. We were raised like you described, thinking of elders/others first, and that was not by stepparents, just my own parents. My husband really doesn't notice or care if she takes everything. He lets her walk all over him in many ways. It is even worse at the other house. They do not even eat at the table or together in the other house and when they go out it is for "all you can eat" crap. I cannot be the only one to give a darn, and lessons that I have tried to teach are easily undone when no one else cares how she acts. If my husband truly cared, he would do something about it. He doesn't even remember from one day to the next what she has been told. It is painfully obvious that when he does get upset about things that it is really just a reaction to me being upset and his upset doesn't come from his heart. This is something I have had to learn to deal with. I cannot make him care. I had already put a stop to eating out because of the lack of manners and her resistance to gentle correction. We were only eating out because we were traveling. We did cut the trip short because of her bad behavior and my husband not doing anything about it. The chip bowl was the last straw. I will not put myself in that situation again. We have had family meetings and things have been laid out plainly. However, my stepdaughter tends to do what she wants, especially when out in public. She has been taught that there is only a slight chance of anyone disciplining her. Also, when she is corrected, even nicely, she argues and gives hard looks and simply will not take correction. It is not a good scene! Also, to clarify, she didn't so much "throw" food at me, rather she chucked the bowl with one chip piece in it across the table towards me. It was an out of control maneuver on her part. She told her dad later that she knew she was wrong to do that, and he apologized to me for not addressing it immediately. I am not saying that it makes it okay, just that she didn't actually throw the food. It was still incredibly disrespectful. We have been to counselors several times. This is an ongoing issue, primarily revolving around the lack of discipline for my stepdaughter. My husband is, believe it or not, one of the best men in the world and very kind to me, but he is not a good disciplinarian or a consistent parent. We have to just face this truth. I have been considering going back to the counselor that I saw as part of my approval process. I am sure I have some control issues, but I also know that my family situation is far from normal or healthy. And, things are absolutely different/worse since my surgery. Almost like every table manner has gone out the window supposedly because I am not eating much, and it is as though because I don't eat much now that my eating experience doesn't matter, when in fact it matters more than before because when I eat something I am going to enjoy the experience! But until the past few weeks, my family has never put their hands or their trash in my food! Never! My stepdaughter is not heavy but she is not thin either. The kids wear those "skinny" jeans (OMG, I have some too now) which have elastic in them and I see that her clothes that I recently bought her are a little tight now. She is very obsessed with food, and she is very unhealthy in her habits. She is allowed to lay around and sleep excessively, and she does not participate in sports or any exercise. She complains about doing anything at all. While I feel bad for the others on this forum who have had similar things happen to them, I do take some comfort in their ability to set folks straight about drawing boundaries around food and respect. I am also incredibly relieved that others find the behaviors unacceptable, as I think my husband doesn't really consider his daughter's behavior to be bad. Come on, she is almost 17, not a toddler! Thank you so much, everyone, for your tremendous support. This forum is so great.

I would lose it if I had to eat with the food police! So far that hasn't happened, thank God. It is not a group effort, IMO! Isn't it a surprise to have someone just grab stuff off your plate? I would never assume, even before surgery, that someone else's food was mine just because they eat were eating less. The only time I assume that food is mine is if we have decided to share something. I get that kids go through spurts and need more food from time to time, and also that they don't always think of others. I don't want to be the food police but my stepdaughter has very bad habits. I generally don't say anything unless it gets ridiculous. She doesn't think she gets enough to eat unless we go to an all you can eat place, which we seldom do. If we go to a regular restaurant, she wants the largest, greasiest entree on the menu or two Entrees (which she does not get). She doesn't exercise at all and sleeps a lot. I have noticed her eat enough food in one sitting to fill a gallon zip lock bag! You are right, he isn't thinking. I know he cares and feels bad when he does it, but I wish he would wake up and knock it off! He was the same before surgery. One example was we went for burgers and I got the smallest one and he got the biggest one. He was done long before me and cleaned up the table and STOOD there while I was finishing my dinner. OMG, I cannot believe it. I do not even take that long to eat, but I don't think he even tastes his food. I guess I will just keep pointing it out to him. It is maddening.

I agree with Dooter. Double check that you aren't getting hidden sugars, they can send you right to the bathroom! As for the hunger, I find that upping the Protein shakes works to get rid of the hunger. I should probably be eating more regular food by this point but most of the time I don't feel like it. I eat regular food every day but am still drinking shakes.

Congratulations! I was just posting the same thing about shopping this weekend. I promised myself not until I really needed to, but I ended up with two pairs of jeans (size 14 and 12) and a couple of tops, size medium! At least everything was on sale! How fun!

Thanks for understanding. It is really rough not feeling the respect. Especially after what my stepdaughter did. I don't know how to blow off totally rude behavior. I take it personally. She actually chucked food at me. I told my husband during our recent trip that I don't want to go out to eat anymore with the family, and then after today he had tears in his eyes after putting the trash in my food. He just doesn't think. He is the best husband ever but he just doesn't get it. I only get to eat a little something each day, no need to be rude and minimize our mealtimes together. I was only at the airport at his request because he was flying internationally for work. I could have stayed home rather than hanging out at the airport with him.

I would say yes to all of those things in moderation! The hot chocolate may be a little sweet, so you might want to experiment as to your sugar tolerance before you drink too much, or switch to a sugar free or lower sugar variety. I am three months out and have had very small amounts of macaroni and cheese. I already had some Annie's boxed Pasta and cheese, so I add canned chicken to that and let the family have most of it. I just have less than a half a cup, occasionally. When the Annie's is gone, I am going to make pasta and cheese using whole wheat or spinach/artichoke flour pasta (wonderful) because those pastas have a higher nutrition score and are supposedly more tolerable. pizza I have only tried once fairly early on, I am thinking it is time to try again. Supposedly a very thin crust is best or don't eat the crust.

Well, I am no doctor, but it looks like you are having a contact allergy to something. Are you putting anything on your incisions? Can you call your surgeon's office and talk to the on-call physician? Many doctors will talk to you and let you text them a picture, like what you have posted. That is exactly what my husband did after I had my breast reduction and there was a little redness over the weekend - he texted a photo to the doctor. Maybe that would work for you? I think it is worth a try because you don't want to scratch your incisions. As for the numbness, have you lost a lot of weight already? If so, you might be experiencing different weight on your nerves. I have neuropathy in my hands and forearms when I lay down, and it comes and goes with weight loss.

Congratulations! I see you are even under goal, and in less than one year. It is a little daunting to shop now, for sure. I bought some pants earlier this week that were size 14. I tried on a 12, and they fit, but there was something about them, like maybe I didn't believe that I was really okay with wearing a 12. So today, three days later, I went back and bought the 12s and feel okay about them now. It is definitely a head adjustment. Also, this week I went for a bra fitting (sorry if TMI) and came out wearing a 36. 36??? I would never have even tried a 36 on if I had gone shopping for myself. Thank God for people who will measure us and help us. The woman who helped my with bras was so kind and helpful and non-judgmental with my loose skin. I only meant to buy one but she helped me find three, two at deep discount. Congrats again, I hope I didn't derail too much!

Sliders, to my understanding, are foods where you don't get any feeling of fullness, but all the calories: ice cream, chips, etc.

Four or five bites of anything is plenty right now, from my own experience and what I have read here. Do try extending your chest when you eat (stick those boobs out - lol) to see if that helps. Are you getting your protein in with shakes or are you just doing foods? I love the Premier Protein shakes. You can get 30g of protein in just 11 oz. It makes it so you have to drink less to get your protein (more protein per ounce than most). I am also very concerned for hair loss so I am a stickler for my protein. So far, so good. I am over three months out and I still do protein supplements. I recently got sick with some sort of bug, and threw up. Since then I am really tight and can't eat too much, or I hurt. The surgeon told me to revert to liquids for a week or so. Maybe try more protein shake and less "food" for a while?

Hi, hopefully you will be able to get some good help here. What are you eating at two weeks out, and how much? Many of us did not eat solids for quite a few weeks. If you are eating solids and they hurt, perhaps back off and go to liquids. Did your doctor give you a schedule for incorporating types of foods back into your diet? For example, my doctor's plan is five weeks of liquids, then a soft foods for a few weeks. Then, solids as tolerated. Some solids are especially hard to deal with. Many people have a hard time with chicken, surprisingly. As far as pain, when I have any of that (rare) I stick my chest out a bit. It seems to alleviate that.

My nutritionist says if we are feeling hungry, up our protein. Have you tried that? I know it helps me.

I was approved in December, and wanted to have my surgery in December before the end of the year for insurance reasons. The paperwork was submitted and two days later I was approved! I didn't even have two weeks before surgery since they were squeezing me in before the end of the year. I didn't have a liquid diet at all (surgeons are all different on these things) but I had to be very low fat and vegetarian. That dashed my birthday plans of all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse dinner, but it was so worth it! I would say it just depends on your surgeon's schedule and your surgery coordinator. I imagine some are busier than others and your experience will depend on an opening. I am sure my wait time would have been more if they weren't trying to accommodate my surgery before the end of the year.

I am only three months out, and not on the dating circuit, but we try to go for tapas or small plates. I love ordering a steak and eating part and taking the rest home. Tonight we ate at a ramen place and also had sushi. The experience and the company is worth more than the food. Take home what you want and throw away what you don't want.

Just came here to see if there was already a topic for this - and there is! After buying some new clothes for the first time in forever, it became painfully obvious that I needed some new bras as well. I had a breast reduction a year and a half ago and my sleeve was in December, so I was completely in the dark as far as bra size. I have been wearing the same ol' stretched out 38D soft cups that I bought at Target after my reduction but they aren't doing the job. My husband took me to Nordstrom tonight for a fitting. I was really surprised to be measured at a 36DDD! I still feel very itty-bitty, to tell the truth. I bought three Natori underwires, the first underwires I have had since before my reduction. Two were from the clearance rack, thankfully! They are still the nicest bras I have ever owned though. I have never had a bra fit to my breastbone properly before. I don't know how to explain what I mean exactly, but the girls are totally separated. The lady at Nordstrom who fitted me was so nice. I have always heard it was a great place for bra fittings, and she was very sensitive in spite of saggy skin and whatnot. I used to shop at Nordstrom when I was in my 20s with not a care in the world, but haven't stepped foot in the store since my weight battles (I am 47 now). I told her I didn't want to spend too much on bras because I was still losing weight, and she was awesome about the clearance bras. It's a total pampering, but I highly recommend it. I would never have guessed my size at 36DDD. I am sure I would have ended up at Target and who knows what size.

I like the seasoned Rye Krisp, or Wasa crisp breads. But, I can usually just have one, maybe two of the Rye Krisp. At your stage I was still on liquids but at the three week mark I was able to add a cracker to my soup. I still remember the joy of cracker day! Maybe try adding the cracker to soup for now?

I have a Trek hybrid (like a cross between mountain bike and road bike). I have had it for maybe 10 years and I love it. I am not sure what the weight capacity is, but I would be very surprised if it would be a problem for you. It has the thicker tires and also a wide, comfy seat. While it wasn't the most expensive bike in the world (purchased at a good local bike store), if I had to do it over again, I would go to the bike stores to see what I liked best and then search Craigslist. The exact bike I bought was commonly seen on Craigslist for 1/4 of what we paid new, and in like new condition. A lot of people buy bikes and never use them and so sell them when they want to regain room in the garage, or when it is time to move. The same goes for bike accessories like vehicle racks. Now that the weather is good, it is a great time to ride. I hope you can find a comfy bike!

I haven't bought new clothes in a store since my surgery. The only items I have bought are two pairs of jeans that I ordered online. I knew they would fit because I already had some of the exact same jeans and I feel that brand tends to run big. The jeans are the only bottoms that fit now. So today, I needed to find a new outfit for this weekend, something a little girly. I went to one of my old favorite "big lady" stores. There was a dress I liked that was only $30 on sale, and the smallest they carry is 14/16, so I figured that would work great. Good thing I tried it on because it was way too big. Keep in mind that not only have I been sleeved but less than two years ago I had a breast reduction. It was a big surprise how that dress was way too big and it is also obvious now that I need some smaller bras. Still, I was afraid of disappointment to shop in the regular department of the major department store. My husband encouraged me though, and took me shopping this evening. I bought one pair of pants, "skinny jeans" (whatever that means) in size 14 and they are a little big but I didn't like the 12s. Also, I bought two really cute tops in size medium! I cannot remember the last time I went shopping at the department store when I did not leave either crying or depressed. Hope, at last! Woot woot!

Too bad each surgery doesn't come with a purse dog and a purse, so we can slip our restaurant food to the dog instead of explaining our eating habits!

If it were me, I would definitely have Soup if it is an option (and take a long time eating it), and then just get some tiny portions of food from the buffet. Push it around a bit and maybe make a pile and then put the plate aside after a few bites. Hopefully people are paying more attention to their own dinner than yours, but we all know that some people are just way nosy! And, you can always say you are not very hungry, because that is probably not a lie. Good luck, and I hope you have a fun time with the family!

Does your surgeon's office offer a medically supervised weight loss plan through a diet doctor? If so, that doctor might have some help for you. Walking is definitely a good exercise and also if you can get to a gym with elliptical trainers, those burn a lot of calories fast without impact. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Did the surgeon's office not know that the weight loss would need to be documented for approval? I also had to lose 5% and the surgeon's team of doctors made sure that every "i" was dotted, every "t" crossed before submitting. Insurance can be so persnickety. Also, I wonder if the insurance could make an exception due to your back issues.

You're not off topic at all! My husband likes to dress nice too but with a wife who doesn't feel comfortable in clothes, I imagine his "fashion wings" have been clipped for quite a while now. While we were out last night, he did find a very fashionable (and expensive) shirt, so good for him. He had a gift card to an expensive store, and finally got to use it. You must be very excited for April 26th - I had less than two weeks notice for my surgery so I don't know how I would be able to contain myself for over a month. I am sure you will do great, especially with that love of clothes as a motivator. The downside is that when you find something great, it might only fit for a few weeks!