kyethra

Ugh. So I used to be a healthy young women. Then when I was 20 I got sick. And I never got better. Nope. I then developed narcolepsy around the time I turned 21, in addition to the fibromyalgia I developed from the long illness I had. And mostly I have made my peace with that. But some days it really gets me. Cause it sucks. It seems like if I just want to do stuff I have to do so little... Cause if I just too much then I'm going to go to bed with a fever and sore throat and achey joints and be super tired for days. And of course I am sleepy. And my sleep at night... According to the sleep study I have an arrousal a minute. But we have to rule out one more respiratory thing so its going to be at least a month probably two before I can try xyrem, which might help me stay awake during the day better. I feel like I can do so little. And I am at an age where I should do so much. But it hurts. All the time. And I'm tired all the time. And I hate it. Dec 8 2003 I get this fever. I go to the ER cause it keeps going up. Then I go home cause they say to rest because they have no clue. Then for about three days I'm in shock and shivvering with the fever. Then it breaks. Then I get covered with this rash all over my body. The rash lasts about a day and then it goes away. And no one has any clue what I had. Sounds like roseola people say except I already had that when I was a baby. But everything about it sounds exactly like roseola.So that should be the end of it except after that damn virus, whatever it was, I'm not the same. I keep getting sick. I always have a cold. I feel run down. I go to my doctor about six weeks later and tell him that, say something isn't right. He says take more Vitamin C. It will go away. I say I do take Vitamin C. He says I'll be fine. He was wrong. Less than a month after that-- and my health hadn't started to improve either-- I get sicker. I start having asthma attacks because my GERD has gotten bad all of a sudden for no reason. And it keeps getting worse. Then I start having diarrhea, nausea, vommitting. Then the abdominal pain starts. Go see my doctor a couple of times with all of this. He keeps telling me it will go away. Its IBS he says, but it will pass. He gives me pills that don't help. Then when I go back because the pain just keeps getting worse and I can't function with it and the vommitting he refuses to give me a refferal to a gastroenterologist. Instead he just gives me pain pills. And every time I go back to see him, sicker and sicker (my hair started falling out) he just gives me more pain pills, stronger ones because the pain keeps getting worse. In the meantime I've had to drop most of my classes and the one I did stay one I rarely can go to- I just email late assignments to my incredibly understanding professor who is also getting irritated but when I explain to him the doctors don't know he realises I'm sick sick and not just out with the flu. I have to quit my job. I spend a lot of time on my boyfriend's couch. He tries to feed me. I try to keep it down. My roomates do the same when I am home. I go to the ER a few times for the pain. They X ray me and because the pain is on the left and I convince the eager residents that no, it isn't reffered pain they let me keep my appendix. The x rays are normal. They refer me to a gastro. He runs all the tests he can. I get a colonoscopy. Nothing. My boyfriend suggests that maybe its gynecological, this pain. Its in the right place to be gynecological. So I ask one of the random doctors. She likes the idea- they schedule a gynecological exam for me. The gynecologist feels something. Its probably a cyst, so an ultrasound is scheduled. On the ultrasound there is a large dark mass. Probably a cyst. But they want to make sure it isn't a tumor. So more tests are scheduled... Meanwhile it all just gets worse. I can't even bathe myself properly anymore. Doctors mention that someone as sick as I am should be in the hosptial. But no one actually wants to be the one to take the responsibility to admit me. The cyst ruptures. Worst pain ever. And the pain doesn't go away. Even after weeks. The MRI is normal. So is the CAT scan. Then the next ultrasound. Then a gynecologist wants to cut me open because she thinks I have endometriosis. When its not there she tells me its all in my head. The gastro won't see me anymore. Its not his problem he says. So I go up to Mayo. The girl on the phone gets me into gynecology quick, without a refferal too, when I explain my doctors tell me its not their responsibility. The doctors there are great. I hear the gynecologist tell the medical student that is shadowing him "it can't be psychological. She has this test positive. Its her abdominal wall." He tells me that its not in my head, its in the abdomen. That is was a cyst that ruptered (no one even confirmed it was a cyst before). He sends me to gastroenterology to take care of because its their area. But it was the cyst that messed things up. The Gastros explain that when the cyst ruptered (it was big to begin with and it got to grow a while) it irritated a nerve ending. I have an entrapped nerve ending in my abomdinal wall causing the incredible pain. I need to have injections in it. They also figure out that my stomach went a little crazy too and even on my prevacid it was producing 60% more acid than was normal. I was also anemic. They adjust my meds and find me a local pain clinic back home. The injections help, but they stop helping. I ask the place that does them if they shouldn't also inject a steroid with the anasthetic like the protocol says. They say no. They stop treating me. No one else will treat this. They tell me its all in my head. So I go back to Mayo pain clinic. They do the injections correctly. They put me in physical therapy because that muscle no longer works properly. I don't get better like I am supposed to. I'm still too weak and can't seem to get stronger. Other problems persist. After lots of doctors and tests they figure I either have CFS and fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthiritus. Eventually my sed rate returns to normal. Its fibrmyalgia. I'm in physical therapy nearly a year just to be able to start to use gyms again. The narcolepsy starts to develope a few months after I get dx with the fibro. I wake up but I can't stay awake. I keep falling asleep in my classes. My insurance won't cover sleep studies so I don't find out its narcolepsy until a couple of years later. I was just the right age for it to develope. Sometimes it seems unfair. I already had a rare learning disability. That was hard enough. I was overweight--- and after all this more just piled on. I just hope that the band gives me the tools I need to lose the weight. And my doctors find treatments for the fatigue that work. I want more of my life back. Sorry for the rant. Just having a bad week. Needed to get if off my chest.

I have a pretty decent team of physicians-- I should go see my primary doctor and tell her its bad now (an SI problem is acting up). And I finally found a good neurologist for the narcolepsy! I'm just going through a flair-up this winter, and it gets me frustrated and whiney. Its also hard on my husband, and I feel bad for him. One thing I might try is accupuncture. I hear it helps and I think our flex spending account might cover it. And maybe massage-- the community college offers student massages at only ten dollars a pop! I think spring will help. I'll be banded in march and after I heal from that I'll have to eat healthier at least

I do not have children. I do, however, have years of experience working with children as either an aide or babysitter. This involves feeding children things like lunch. Now when I have worked with Autistic kids before the first meal we usually go over menus with the parents, how food is to be prepared, etc, do the nature of the beast. Sometimes you find kids that would rather be underweight than eat certain foods or food of certain colors, etc. On working with kids who do not have such extreme food issues, I had a fairly simple rule. For lunch we would decide what to make. Then I would make them pick out one "health food". It could be a fruit or a vegetable. If it was a really picky day then maybe a lowfat yoghurt. But they had to pick out something and they had to eat it. It could be a salad. Or grapes. Or maybe some little carrots. Or an apricot. Whatever the kid wanted as long as it was available. No reason to make it be a bad healthy food. But as much as would get whining, I insisted. And the kids complied and of course the parents always backed me up because they liked that rule. If we were making something like garlic bread as part of a meal and one kid didn't like herbs on it then we would leave herbs off of that part, etc. Or someone could add something after it was made. I can be pretty picky myself- some of it relates to sensory issues (I just don't like the texture of certain foods or of things that are cooked or prepared a certain way. Like chicken. I really dislike chicken, mostly because of the texture. I don't care for the taste either. So I don't ever eat chicken), and sometimes I know from experinece I just don't like certain things. So I understand picky and I'm fine with working around it. As long as the kids ate balanced meals it was all good. Its a rule I try to remember with myself and my husband when we cook. It can be really tempting to have meat and starch or even all starch or so forth and no "health" food. So I will find myself saying, "wait, where is our health food". And then we have double servings of it. I also think consistency and boundaries are important. Even if it is "just this once". Because then the child wants every time to be just this once. And "last time you..." Or "that one time you let me..." When it comes to things like that kids have the memories of elephants. It can be hard. Working with pre adolescant girls, when body weight and image and stuff would come up they got how being underweight was unhealthy and models were too skinny, etc. But I would always remind them that being overweight by a certain amount is also unhealthy. I would tell them I weighed too much and was trying to lose some weight to be more healthy, but that the best body is always the body you have.

I've never done either bumper stickers or personalized plates of any kind because (this will let you know how crazy I am) I think they are way too personal and easily traced potentially. I mean what if I happened to be framed for murder or something and I needed to get out of town quickly while I did detective work to figure out who the real killer was? In that sort of circumstance I really wouldn't want anything personalized on a car (and yes I do read way too many detective novels). That and the whole paint thing. Plus I would worry about putting one on crookedly and then not being able to fix it, although I have been tempted to get a darwin fish. I remember after Britney Spears evaded photographers in her car with her baby in her lap we discussed it in my child development class, about how dangerous that was. How dangerous it was to not have a baby it a car seat, there are studies. Especially if one is driving, but to not have them in a car seat and to have them in a lap in a front seat is really dangerous. Being rear ended, a small tap on behind that causes no damage to an adult can send that baby flying and be fatal, etc. And I also had this one roomate before I got married. This girl was hideous (also dumber than a rock). I mean she was the slobbiest girl I ever met- she once spilled cannola oil all over the kitchen floor and wouldn't clean it up until we got the office to intervene, let mold grow in dishes in her room, always ate with her mouth open in front of the tv while she talked loudly, just to give you an idea. She had her entire back window covered with bumper stickers. She got a ticket for them one day. She was really mad and actually went to court because she said she could see around them if she moved her head a certain way and ducked a few inches. My roomates and I found that hilarious-- we told her that was pretty much the definition of an obstructed view. But she went to court and of course she had to pay her ticket.

My list is fairly short... I already have a swimsuit (well a swimdress I guess) but its pretty cutes on me with its halter top and my boobs look great in it and so forth. I don't really care much about what others think of me. I used to, when I was younger, like in highschool, but over the years I've gotten over being self conscious especially when it is about my weight. I think I look good as I do now, even if I am fat... I'm one of those odd fat girls that has too much self confidence. Comes from having the best husband. And I also have this recurring nightmare on occasion where I'm told that to complete the master's program I have to take swimming class, at 8 am! Since its a Library Science program it doesn't make sense to me and I fail the class because 1) Its 8am. I'm narcoleptic. I don't think so. 2) Its wet. Its cold. This swimming stuff is tiring and I'm really bad at it... So swimming is not on my goal. Maybe someday I will take swimming lessons to learn to swim better. In a heated pool. But that is not weight dependant. Thought docs and others keep telling me how good Water aerobics is for fibro. But it is wet! And I used to be the kind of girl that preffered kickboxing aerobics before I got sick... So here is my list. 1) Be able to shop anywhere for clothes. 2) Be able to have tall boots made without worrying about size of legs changing (I have huge feet so just buying them won't work). 3) Have more energy! 4) Get off of Blood pressure med! Oh thats the first goal! 5) Sex in more positions. 6) Be able to wear chokers and smaller jewelry and a smaller ring size and maybe even bracelets I see in stores? Not sure if this is possible though since I have big wrists. 7) Be able to fit more places- the back seat of smaller 2 door cars, small chairs, tight places, plane seats, etc. Classroom desks. 8) Eliminate thigh chafe. I hate thigh chafe. 9) Ease the pressure and load on my joints. 10) Be able to have a healthy pregnancy when ready. And then I have more goals related to health. But I don't know how much losing weight will improve my health-- maybe a ton, maybe a little, it does depend on other factors. Like if my narcolepsy improves then my fibro is boun d to improve. But if my narcolepsy doesn't improve (like if it doesn't respond to treatment for the nighttime issues) then maybe the weightloss won't have as great of an effect as I would like on my overall health... But I am ok with that. I know that weight loss is great for my health. I'm just saying, that is another list and another dream.

1. Nothing. Context may dictate things are off limits at times, but I feel that no one subject or subjects is off limits. 2. Thats a hard one. I would like to be healthy, if that is a quality. I would like the ability to stay awake all day and have energy. I would also really love to be able to understand nonverbal things better (like facial expression, spatial relationships, etc). No more disabilities for me... I want too much! 3. I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to trade my life because I love my husband too much. 4. The abuse 5. No. 6. Underdressed. At least someitmes. 7. the memories 8. It depends on the conversation, the people, etc. I do like to talk though... 9. I would rather be deaf.

LOL. yes. I call it my editing bug. I will find myself reading something and mentally rearranging the paragraph in my head so it is better composed. Or correcting grammar as I read various things, or thinking that various points in the plot line could have been arranged better or eliminated, etc. Sometimes I have to just let go and remind myself that I am only reading this book. That this is a fun book. I also tend to go into analysis mode like I do when I am analyzing a book for criticsm for a paper or class or a review-- the sticky notes and pencil comes out and I'm noting parallelisms and all sorts of other things. So I take a deep breath. And I put the book down for a little bit. One author I have such a strong urge to do this with is Evanovich (stephanie plum books). I have considered going into editing, but I'm a horrible speller.

I have hypoglycemia. It runs in the family- three generations before me at least have had it. I mostly grew out of it, but since I got put on ACE inhibitors it seems to have come back (otherwise it is very mild or even nonexistant except for certain phases), I think they make me more sensitive to insulin or produce more or something, I dunno, but I'm suspicious. So I just want to lose weight so I can get off them, but I was worried about after surgery too and what I would do if I got low- I hate being all shaky! I think Protein really helps. And lactose is the sugar I digest the best, so Protein shakes are good for me I think. And I'll have to get some of those glucose tubes for the purse. Oh I hate the glucose tabs and sugar and the whole rollar coaster ride. I normally try to eat a lot and eat stuff like cheese or trail mix or whatever that has a lot of protein. But I am not used to it anymore and I will forget and have a slice of cake and two hours later- ugh! So I'm glad to hear positive things. I need the BMI to lower so the blood pressure will so I can get off the meds and get off the blood sugar rollar coaster. Oh and chromium helps me! Chromium can help level out blood sugar- I try to buy it and remember to take it when i start to get a phase. It comes in tiny little pills too.

virtual models. They never are the same size and proportions as me and I have yet to see one that has the spare tires or flabby upper arms that I do. Of course the clothes all look good on them!

It was the other kids that would get to me in junior high- I rarely got teased- but sometimes I would- and then I would get teased and it might be about how I was mannish. Thinking back it was so increadibly riddiculous since in junior high my breasts were on this growth spurt that terrified me. I was wearing a D cup in the fourth grade and I had this imagine in my mind that would have to get a wheelbarrow... in the sixth grade I didn't even have a bra... Actually-- now that I think back, all the teasing about being manly was definitely over by the beginnig of the seventh grade. Huh. Must have been the boob growth. But yeah, it was clothes that always got me. No buying shoes in stores for me unless I want to buy men's shoes. I don't get to wear women's gloves. That sort of thing. I'm the same height (and inseam) as my husband. Which is actually nice. But I've never been and never will be this delicate feminine thing. And I'm one of the short ones in my family! (I stoped growing for a couple of years when I had severe asthma probems) All my Aunts and female cousins are taller than me. All of them! and I have a lot of them. So you would think I would just get over it, but you see my best friends wear size 2-4. Both of them. They just can't help being skinny. And before that my roomate only weighed 100 pounds... I know all these women who are brillant scientists and thin! It can sometimes create comparison issues.

Today I was thinking of an long time peeve: the shortage of tall plus sizes. Why is that when I go to the plus size section of a clothing store and wander around I am always finding more and more petite plus sizes, but no where near as many sections for tall plus sizes? To me it makes basic sense to have tall plus sizes-- being tall contributes to being plus size! We are bigger! Finding long enough sleeves is already troubling, I don't need to wade through shorter sleeves first! I feel that tall plus size is an undersized population. Going along with this is another thing that has been bothering me latley-- On a recent CSI episode there was a body. They noticed that the seemingly female body was male by the size of the hands first. SO what if someone has big hands and feet? I have huge hands and feet! That doesn't mean I look like a man at all. And it isn't the only place I have seen that sort of reference. I have seen jokes or other things like that before. It peeves me. But you know what they say about a man's feet size and how well he is hung? Well I can always respond that if that is the case then I must be GREAT in bed :mad: when I want to joke. Having a large body frame and being tall growing up wasn't always easy either. Tall girls tend to come in two categories-- the tall slender ones, and the athletic ones. I was neither. I was big like an athletic girl but oh so clumsy and not at all athletic. Until junior high when other kids started catching up I was always one of the tallest kids in my whole class (there was one or maybe two other girls at around the same height) and generally it was great because I could reach stuff but it did have down sides to it...

I've done tellemarketing work-- when people I had to call asked me why I would do such a horrid job I explained to them it was the only job I could find where they let me keep my clothes on and I needed to pay for college. This usually worked. Little did they know, just how low my chances of actually even getting one of those take your clothes off jobs was :mad: What I hated the most was the mandated rebuttals. We were required to argue with the people at least two or three times after they no! We all hated that. Most of us would have been fine with one No, and then saying thank you and hanging up. But if we didn't argue, we would get fired! Honest. That and the constant pressure for sales when the product wasn't good or the leads were not good, etc. So please remember the tellemarketers are not usually mean by choice. One of the nicest things you can do is say "Take me off your list please" Or just say No after they ask and then hang up. I used to think people who did either of those things (as long as they did them nicely) were great. Of course there was the time I reconnected with my oldest friend through telemarketing... true story. Even she wouldn't buy it :faint:

I graduated in May with my bachelors and I am currently working on grad school. My college experiences as they relate to food weren't amazing glamerous things. First of all, there was the dorm cafeteria. Yuck. And I do suppose a lot of college students eat pizza-- my husband and I still do. It doesn't help that my job is taking pizza orders so I know ever single deal and coupon and special all the time... There were also poor starving student periods were I existed on the starch of the week. Potatoes, rice, pasta, etc. No protein because protein was too expensive. This was also something I feel no nostalgia for. The one thing I actually miss is the drinking. I would go out to pubs with my friends and drink. I probably got drunk more often than not. Now I don't do that anymore. I do still go out to bars on occasion with my friends and have a drink or two, but it isn't the whole drunken bar hopping thing it used to be. Which is good, because that was expensive. Now with the band, after everything is all healed and rested and its been a while (like a couple of months) you can still drink. I wouldn't recommend getting drunk because if you get drunk enough to throw up its bad for the band and also alchohol and drinks are full of empty calories. Instead, just act a little drunk :mad: Right now I am working on convincing my husband that he needs to take me out for some sangria and dancing (all the bars in town are newly smoke free).

I'm one of those perpetual students Undergrad was just a stepping stone to grad school. I love grad school. Actually I am only part time now and I am waiting with fingers crossed to see what grad school programs I got into for Library Science. So keep them crossed for me. I should find out if I got into my first choice, my alma Matter, UIUC, sometimes in March! I want to be a school librarian so I can always have spring break :biggrin1:

I start my liquid diet on the 28th! Tammy, I also noticed we are about the same height ( I am 5'8"-- barefoot if that makes any difference- it does according to some charts), so since I am just an inch shorter than you, I think it will be interesting to see if our weight loss it at a rate that is at all similar. Or if it is going to be completely different! I don't know what your body frame size is-- I have a large frame and I love it! You have to weight more with a large frame than you do with a small frame, you know. When people ask I tell them my goal weight is about 170- we'll see what happens. My true goal is actually size 12 LOL. Right now I weight about 283 and size 22/24. As far as the liver shrinking, this is what they explained to me. Makes it easier to get the band now. Now I am odd, or special as some choose to say, because my alpha one antitrypsan levels are on the low side. I am still in the normal range though, so I am fine. My mom has the genetic disease, alpha one deficiency, so I have the MZ genotype. While I am fine phenotypically, I do get freakish blood tests every once in a while. So does my brother. If I am sick it also seems like it takes infections longer to clear out of my lungs and liver (those are the two organs the deficiency targets). And everyonce in a very very rare while if we get sick we might find out liver functioning diminished in an inconsitent or abnormal way, etc. Talking to other people with the MZ genotype it sounds like that is pretty normal. Since my liver is perfectly healthy and my level of antitrypsan is perfectly healthy I don't expect it to be a problem at all, but I did mention it to at least one of the docs-- like in case I do get sick the week before the surgery and my liver doesn't shrink or something. How would I know? I didn't want them to open me up and think "hmm.. she looks odd". Doc I told said she hadn't ever had a patient with that situation before, but then she hadn't ever had a patient like me in other ways before either... As she searched for more words I told her that it was ok, I am weird, I get it. (I have multiple rare neurological disorders, some of which, like fibro, are unusual in a girl my age, or in girls, or so forth. When you add in my family history (my brother has had one of the rarest neurological conditions in the world, alternating hemiplegia with early childhood onset, they are very glad they are not my neurologist). So I am hoping my liver responds 100 percent normally and shrinks beautifully. And that the procedure goes well for all of us... As well as recovery. What are you guys doing about buying clothes? I wasn't going to buy any new clothes at all for a while, esp pre surgery, but I decided to buy a pair of cargo pants and a cut black blouse from Lane Bryant the other day. I adore cargo pants. In olive green. And a girl needs her black basics. I figure the cargo pants have a draw string... I know as I go down in sizes I can always take clothes in and I have things in my closet now that I have out grown and also things stored away that I haven't worn in ages. Hmm maybe this is something I should ask in the main thread too...

My husband and I had only been dating about a month (well a little over a month) when the going did get tough for me in terms of my health. That was the way I saw how truly amazing he was. I got sick, and it wasn't clearing up, whatever it was. And I sat down with him and I said that in case this turned out to be something wierd or lasted a while I would understand if he wanted to get out now and not be involved with me, because I couldn't do anything fun like go for walks and I never felt good, etc. I don't think he actually considered it. Well I got a lot sicker and for a lot longer than I ever imagined when I said that. And he was absolutely amazing. So I married him Seriously, I do not know what I would have done without him when I was at my sickest. I would spend days lying on his couch. He would feed me and get me medicine and just take care of me. And he took me to so many Dr apointments, to the ER, he asked the guys at work about gynecologists for me, etc. After we had been dating several months and my health started to improve a little (finally!) I gained some weight- about 20 pounds. Enough to get a bigger skirt size when I went shopping and have a bigger belly, so it was noticeable. And he did notice because he asked me if I had gained some weight. So I said, yes, about twenty pounds. I was nervous. What if he was disapointed in the weight gain? What if he asked me if I was going to lose it, etc? I had no plans to go on a diet. Instead he did the best thing he could possibly do: He said, "Ok, I was wondering." And then he kissed me on my big fat belly. So you see I had to marry him. My highest weight was actually just a couple of months before the wedding- I was just a couple of pounds under 300 pounds. But I got down to about 270 for the wedding, closer to my normal weight (I had ballooned on lyrica). He was nothing but supportive. Now I have never been thin (well unless you count when I was a tiny little girl). I was about 220 or 240 when we started dating. Of course I am also one of those morbidly obese people who doesn't seem to have the self esteem issues. I have tons of self esteem. Maybe a little too much. I think I am adorable. Granted, I am more adorable thiner, but I am still pretty damn cute morbidly obese. And I have awesome breasts. Anyway, I knew my husband liked bigger girls when he started dating me. I even asked him why. He said it was cause he felt that thinner girls were too thin and looked that twigs and he would worry about them snapping in half or breaking or something (he is actually very gentle). He just doesn't find skinny attractive. Guys I have dated in the past found me attractive. I never got past the second date with them because I never wanted to (i'm picky) so I figure I was ok. I wasn't going to date someone who jsut wanted a thinner version of me. And I wouldn't date somewhere who liked me but not my size-- unless- and this is the big unless-- unless my transformation to a healthier life style would be what promted them to ask me out instead of just my weight loss. If a guy was more impressed with better habbits and routines and energy and exercise and health, I could dig that. But if all a guy cared about was the scale, no way. Same with friends, etc. I know some people feel very negatively about obese people. Now maybe they don't care for what they feel is a lack of good grooming or something or other ignorant stereotypes. As I tend to be oblivious and still dress like a sloppy undergrad a lot (bleach stained t shirt, here I come), and I am more likely to forgot to brush my rather long red hair than I am to actually do anything with it (I haven't worn a ponytail in at least two years), I tend to have a bit of acne half the time because I can't be bothered to actually put on my acne cream, same deal with glasses and contacts, and I would like to wear makeup, its just that I would first have to remember, and then I would have to put it on. And that takes time and skill, and effort, and finding the makeup, and so forth. And I swear eyeliner requires an advanced degree in makeup technology. So on occasion, as I rush out of the house, it occurs to me I look like a fat slob. If I were to cultivate a more polished look and had people respond to the polished look I could understand that. But how does one figure out what one is responding to (other than asking because people do sometimes lie about things and I don't know how to tell if they are being honest)? Are people going to have a positive response to healthier lifestyle or lost weight? To polish look or to lost weight? Or is it impossible to distinguish?

Wow. When I was an undergrad I went to the student health center for all my gynecological needs. Once I had vaginal symptoms (like a yeast infection) and I had hurt my shoulder and I mentioned this when I made my apointment and they said that there was one gyno on the main floor that day so I could get it all done in apointment-- I thought that was good. So I go in. First she examines my shoulder- some ice and take it easy for a few days. Then the gyno part. She seemed to have too much fun with the speculum and she was rough. In there forever too. So she comes out. Says that it doesn't like yeast but she will send it down to the lab. Then takes out other vials. Says she also took samples to test for chlamydia, ghonerea, and syphalis. Thats when I really got angry at her. About a year prior to that I had suden onset CFS/Fibromyalgia and I was test for all of these three of four times especially since I had had an ovarian cyst and pelvic pain, even though the only person I ever slept with was my now husband. I understood the tests then. They wanted to rule them out. They explained it all and asked before they dug in with the speculum. Not this doctor. So I made her throw her vials away. I explained I had been tested for those things multiple times and that then and now i was in a monogamous relationship and no he wasn't cheating and I was sure and how dare she not even ask? So yeah, I made her throw those three vials into the biohazard bin while I watched. I told her they could me for those again at my annual but not before then and certainly not without my prior consent to the sample... Now if the doctor had asked and explained first I probably would have said ok. Like if she said "sometimes, in rare cases, an STI can manifest itself like this. I'd like to test you for that now. Would that be ok?" And then if I said, "well I have only slept with one person, and he only slept with one person, and we are in a completely monogamous relationship." If she then said something at all reasonable to that, I would have let her test me. Like, "well it can take a long time and multiple tests for some of these things to show up, and what may remain dormant on one person can still be transmitted to another". Her attitude and not even asking me at all is what got to me. I have the Hep B vacine. I got all the vacines I could get before I studied abroad. If the HPV vacine had been around then I wouldn't have hesitated to get it then either. I was recently reading about some of the HPV viruses and I was surprised to learn how easily they are transmitted. I know all about HIV and exactly how it can be transmitted and the relative risks and so forth. But I'm a little ashamed to admit how little I know about other STIs-- how easily they are or aren't transmitted, curable, etc. Reading about HPV let me know that it is very easily transmittable and one doesn't even need to have intercourse to get it. One can get it just from "fooling around". And because there might not necessarily be any symptoms or visible signs of it, you wouldn't know the person you were messing around with has it. So yeah, a bunch of "good" boys and girls out there could end up with this. And later may unknowingly transmit it... I guess the chances of those things happening aren't as high, but still, how high does it need to be? As an adolescant and even as a young woman I knew I was planning on waiting a long time before I lost my virginity. But I wasn't planning on keeping every last kiss to myself. While parents may plan for their children to be picture perfect when it comes to abstinence, children might plan to be abstinant but that abstinance could be very different from the abstinance their parents imagine. Like an earlier poster mentioned, there is a big area open for interpretation of what "not sex" is. In some ways this reminds me of the lung cancer shaming some people probably go through. I know that lung cancer is becomming more and more a women's disease as more and more women are becomming diagnosed with it. Yet one in five of those women has never smoked. Cancer is never a lifestyle choice for anyone...

I'm planning on taking two weeks based on past experience with laproscopic surgery. A couple of years ago I had an exploratory laproscropy done where someone poked around my reproductive organs after I had a cyst rupture (though I feel explode would be a better term) and the pain didn't go away (cause the rupture damaged a nerve ending in my abdominal wall which the lapropscry did not pick up). Anyway, I was surprised how sore I was, how long it took me to recover from that procedure. Laughing and so forth was excruitiating for days, and it was months before I was completedly healed from the incision (though today I don't even have a scar). Now I know this is a different procedure and I was extremely ill back then, but I figure with my fibro I am a slow healer. So its going to be at least two weeks in bed for me. After that I will see how I feel.

No I have two full weeks of liquids... I was supposed to have a phone apointment with the nutritionist on thursday but she never called... So I will call and see what happened. Maybe I was supposed to be the one who called? I don't know. And then this thursday I see my neurologist about sleep stuff. I'm excited about that, I hope she puts me on something that will really help with my sleep issues (I'm narcoleptic, have PLMD, lack of REM paralysis, other odd sleep problems), they have been worse than usual this week. And I have been keeping the surgeon's office updated on them-- I don't think they get many narcoleptics or anyting, but they said it shouldn't be a problem at all. And the one med I am most interested in (xyrem) is actually liquid, so if i did get put on that I wouldn't have to worry about another pill at least... Of course what ever meds I do or don't get put on for the sleep stuff is up to my neurologist. I have no idea... I'm definitely getting more excited as my date aproaches. I don't think I will need too much preop testing done as I have so much testing done recently anyway because of my other health issues. I mean I have had three sleep studies in the past six months, one EEG, one MRI, too many blood tests to count, peed in lots of cups, etc. What else could they possibly want to test for?

Not putting the dog in a cage/kennel for a period can actually be meaner sometimes. Leaving them alone in a big area (to them) can be overwhelming and they can be anxious and respond in ways that are destructive. It isn't good for the dog. Crate training can be kinder (especially if the dog is a puppy learning to be housebroken). When our dog was a puppy she had a dog kennel she would sleep in or go in when left alone. Naturally she would whine and moan like we were tortuing her. But we would discover her sleeping in there on her own during the day (the door would get left open) and she would have a toy in there with her, and she got a treat when she went in the kennel... And she went to sleep just fine. Then as she got older she was left out of it alone in the house for short periods of time (like 15 minutes) that gradually increased and now she behaves great and can be alone all day-- well except for her tendancy to sleep on the couch (and drool).

I get banded in march. My surgeon has this thing on the sheets I noticed and they mentioned it to me too being a newly wed-- they ask all their female patients to not get pregnant until it has been a year post band. Not a problem for me since we want to wait a couple of years. Ideally I would finish grad school and lose all my excess weight and then we can see about this pregnancy thing. Though I have to admit the baby buisiness is something that is on my mind as a thing that makes me nervous because I know I would be banded. So I like to read these posts. Also, I suspect there is a decent chance my husband and I will do something non traditional. Perhaps PGD? I'm not sure- we would need to see a genetic counselor first and undergo thourough testing and all that. But PGD is pre implantation genetic diagnosis and then the embryo is implanted. So while I'm pretty sure I'm fertile and all that (no one in my family has had any trouble concieving) I do worry about the gentic illnesses that I am a carrier for and other serious neurological problems in my family that may be passed on genetically (like alternating hemiplegia of infancy), plus both my brother and I are on the autism spectrum (he is much more severe than I am), and there are other things to consider too. Plus I know my mother had very difficult pregnancies with both my brother and my self (she was dilated one week before I came out and we were both a couple months premature) but there are all sorts of variables (she did smoke through both pregnancies). I don't even let myself watch Special Delivery on TLC anymore. So reading about successful band pregnancies and healthy band babies is something I find very encouraging!

I'm in illinois too (champaign) and I don't want to leave the house! Brr! But the weather is a good excuse to layer. If you want to add on pounds then you can always wear boots. I've noticed in the past that when I wear my hiking boots (they are lovely- lined with gortex, waterproof, I love these boots. But I can't find them! They are in the garage. In a box. Ugh) it instantly adds several pounds. Also, this time of year I am going to wear more. Its cold out. I don't have a car and the bus stops are just marked by little signs and my big heavy coat is still at the dry cleaners. So this means I layer like crazy. I'm even considering putting on leggings under my jeans or long underwear. (BTW the just ordered some leggings online that have a longer inseam in the hope that these actually go down to my ankles. Not easy to find tall plus size leggings). Just keep a layer or two on more than usual when you get on the scale. Plus if you have health problems the BMI required drops down to 35! My BMI is 43 and looking to stay there, but because my blood pressure has been high, I have GERD and fibromyalgia I think that would qualify me. According to my last sleep study I don't seem to have CPAP but that doesn't mean my sleep doc won't want to put me on an Autopap or something. And then there is the narcolepsy which while not weight related does make it harder for me to lose weight. So I think even if I lost a ton on the liquid diet and so forth I would be ok to go and all that.

Bad parents bother me. I worked as part time nanny for years. I've worked as an aid to austism spectrum kids. I'm trained in screening for possible developmental delays. I've got experience and a lot of opinions on the subject. And I feel that a lot of parents are lazy. That bugs me. When parents drop the ball and are neglectful-- be it in the store or at home, or abusive or all sorts of other things it makes me angry. It bothers me when people use incorrect word order when talking about themselves and others. For example if someone says "Me and my brother." I hate that. Its "My brother and me" or maybe its "My brother and I". People also tend to use me when they should use I. Ex: "Would you like some gum? No, not me." No! It should be "No, not I." That is just one of my little things. Smoke. I hate smokers that stand right outside of doorways. Especially if there is more than one of them, forcing me to walk between them to enter or exit a building. I did not ask for the smoke escort. People who do not queue properly. If I am waiting for a bus and I am the first one there and I have been waiting at the bus stop the whole time, ready to go, I do not see where other people get the notion that they can just go up and push ahead of me and get on first. I feel like I have to elbow them out of the way-- actually I do have to elbow those people out of the way. That I need to do that really annoys me. Whats wrong with them? The way my husband can be Mr. Mollasses. He doesn't every put anything away. No, instead he puts it on the couch. Like he promised he wouldn't. And then he promised to stop doing it. And then he promised to put it away. Six months ago. And he is going to build this and fix that. He is going to do it right away. Honest. He means it. Then weeks later I will ask where it is... he is going to get on it. Ugh!

Currently I work part time from home taking orders over the phone for things, like pizza or for stuff sold on informercials. I get to set my schedule and hours so that is awesome. I am also a part time grad student in Library Science- I hope to be full time in the fall. Right now I am working on my health which involves the band. In addition to that I have other health problems-- fibromyalgia/CFS, narcolepsy, etc. and I am working on getting those treating and getting my health to improve so I can handle full time grad school. So this means I go to a lot of doctors apointments :sick and there are things like allergy shots twice a week and other apointments and stuff I should make and go to like chiro and accupuncture for pain and all that but I need a lull in my healthcare marathon and the pain is the same as its been for the past year-- its manageable. When I finish up my masters in Library Science I will either have my teaching certificate or need to get one because I ultimatley want to be a school librarian. So the master/cert is what I am working on now! If I can't be a school librarian then I want to be a youth/children's librarian. I'm obcessed with children's lit! I saw there were a few special ed teachers on here. I am particularily interested in twice exception kids as an underserved population, actually. I was one. I have an LD and I was gifted. My brother has severe disabilities and I have worked as an aid a couple times when I was in college. Then after I finish up the masters I think I might not look for a job, but instead my hubby and I might see about having a baby. I figure while we are working on that I might be able to start work on a certificate (and eventually a masters) in children's lit. And then I'm sure there will be no way we can afford to have me stay in school any longer so I will probably want to find one of those full time jobs I've heard so much about Maybe someday get another degree or phd... time will tell. Previous to what I do now I was a babysitter for a few years while I worked on my undergrad-- I got that degree in May. DH is a computer guy. He is a network server architecture adminstrator. That means he works for a large university and gets to be in charge of all this big servers and programs for them and other things makes pretty decent pay.

I was thinking the same thing. You see I'm on the Autism Spectrum myself. I have something very similar to Aspergers (and I suspect I likely have Aspergers as well, but I don't feel like pursuing a diagnosis yet). There are also other issue/conditions that affect how well one does socially. With something like Aspergers the person is at a big disadvantage because he or she has a lot of trouble reading nonverbal communication. This includes things like body language, tone of voice, facial expression, hints, implied meanings, etc. People with Aspergers, or AS, tend to take things litterally, at face value. Unfortunately up to 2/3 of communication is nonverbal and if we miss that we miss a lot. And we don't even know we are missing it. Looks, hints, sublities, tone of voice, I miss much of it. I was embarassingly old before I learned that tone of voice even existed and you can imagine how flabbergasted I was to learn that I was somehow supposed to glean information from it... I never understood why people couldn't just tell me what they wanted me to know. If they were angry, tell me. And then tell me why, etc. I also have difficulty in social situations and a lot of trouble understanding certain social things. It can be really difficult to try and remember to censor myself all the time especially when I don't understand why certain topics could possibly be offensive or inappropriate. And I don't understand why we have to do small talk-- it seems like its a lot of trouble and generally boring. Why can't people just start talking about, say, global warming without all the small talk stuff? And then there is this whole thing about lying to people when the lies are supposed to be white lies but they aren't white lies like if someone has an ugly dress on and then no one tells them or worse tells them it looks nice when they ask and I think that is just wrong, but apparently if it is your boss you have to lie or something because of this wierd dynamic long term thing. I don't get it. Its amazingly confusing. I feel like I am studying this strange culture from an observers standpoint sometimes. Manuals and instructions do help. My husband and good friends help me with certain situations by reminding me what I'm not allowed to bring up. The other day I was with a good friend of mine and I was in a group setting and everyone was eating and then we got on the subject on hamburger and how it is ground and farmers, etc who grind their own. I felt this would be a perfect opertunity to bring up cannabalism since the last tribe that practiced cannibalism stopped because of mad cow spreading amongst them due to eating nervous system tissue. Naturally this relates to hamburgers and eating. And I certainly find cannibalism fascinating-- I think a lot of people do. But when I asked my friend if it would be apropriate to bring it up (people always tell me not now so I try to ask first) she said no and that it was basically one of those subjects that was almost never apropriate! How odd! I mean I sort of get why I'm not supposed to talk about during communion- though I do think that is within context-- but why never? How could people possibly be sensitive about cannibalism or offended by it? I highly doubt they or their parents were practicing, so again it seems like this arbitrary thing... There are a only a couple of things out there for adults. There is a DVD, mind reading that helps one learn to reading facial expressions. Temple Grandin co wrote a book recently about the hidden rules of social stuff that is supposed to be good.