Sheila

Just another question semi related to this, how long does the anesthetic stay in the body? Where would you get Biotin at a regular store? Thanks for the informative links. It does help. At least now I won't freak when it happens to me. Thanks again. S

:focus: I said in my first entry I would post about my second marriage and how some of the things that we went through contributed to my depression and my weight gain. So here I go. As I said in my first entry, I met my husband via the internet. We met in a social chat room. A friend of mine wanted to have penpals to write her via snail mail and I put an advertisement (for lack of a better word) on this social chat room for her. This was way back before everyone had a computer (or 3) in their homes. My husband is one of the people who responded to my advert, and I put him in touch with my friend. While he was writing her, I also wrote to him wanting to have a penpal. So, when my friend received letters from him, she allowed me to read them and started to really like him. We became friends. And as I said before, it grew from there. We set our first meeting for March 1995. He was flying to Oklahoma to meet me in person. He stayed at my apartment with me and my daughter. We had a fantastic time although we both became sick towards the end. We then set a new date for a meeting in May 1995 where I was flying up to visit him in Canada. It was a big deal for me as I had never been on an airplane before and never been out of the USA before. I flew into Seattle and he drove down from Vancouver to pick me up. We had a nice drive back to Vancouver and we stayed the night with his parents. We continued our visit and I left to come home. We talked and wrote and missed each other for another 7 months before we saw each other again. He flew back to Oklahoma to spend Christmas with me and my family. My birthdate is on New Years eve and that is when he proposed to me. On my birthday 4 seconds to midnight. I was so sad when he had to go back home. But we made arrangements for me to then drive up to Canada in April 1996 and begin our lives together and that is what we did. On Sept 7, 1996 we were married and then the fun began. My daughter was then 10 years old. At first she liked my husband. They got along quite well, and did things together. Then the hormones hit. And well, lets just say things went down hill quickly. We were dealing with many challenges, here is a list of the things we had to contend with in the first 7 years of marriage: 1. becoming a resident in Canada - cost $3000 2. husband father dying 3. daughter acting out as a teenage, drinking, staying out all night, and getting pregnant at the age of 13 then hiding an abortion from me (which is legal in Canada). 4. husband learning he had a brain tumor and needed surgery 5. my mother dying 6. me learning I had Endometrial cancer and needed surgery 7. daughter moving out of the house at age 16 (legal in Canada) We had quite a time in those 7 years. And most people, it would have pulled them apart and broke their marriage. Luckily, my husband and I were brought closer. We have been able to develop a great communication between us and can talk out anything. But as you can see, I went through quite a lot of emotional ups and downs, and when you are already depressed, it causes you to go deeper into it. I went to visit my family doctor one day and I could not tell you why I was there. Before she could ask me anything I burst into tears, told her I wished I was dead because I just could not take all this stress and unhappiness. She recognized what I was going through, chemical depression, and immediately placed me on anti-depressants. I was on them for 18 months while my brain chemicals realigned themselves. Although I was no longer technically depressed I was still eating to help hide the pain. And I gained up to 302. That is when things started to scare me. That is when I began looking at options. I began going to therapy, I began looking at WLS, I began taking seminars for WLS, and l learned that I can do it. I have the support of my husband and my God. I know I can do it. Well, that is my story. From now on I am going to write only about what is going on with my WL journey and the feelings, apprehensions, joys, highs and low I experience. S

Thank you MRSKOUBiK, I love your ticker. I really love being able to read and learn from people. I gives me hope and encouragement. Sheila

I find this support group wonderful bur would like to have someone I can talk to closer to me! So if you would like to be my buddy please let me know!

Thanks Autumn, I appreciate having someone who is going through the same thing I am going to to talk to. My husband is wonderful. He listens to me and he supports everything I am doing. But it isn't the same since he doesn't know what it is like to be overweight and a woman. he is overweight, but he views it completely differently than I do. Here is my email address. I would love to get to know you better and talk about what you are doing as well. sheila.pinkney@shaw.ca Hope to hear from you soon. Sheila

I had my Endoscopy on Friday January 14, 2011. Out of everything I have to do to prepare for my surgery, this is the one thing I was worried about. I kept warning all the nurses about my bad gag reflex, and they told me not to worry about it because I would be given a spray to numb my throat so I wouldn't feel the scope as it passed down my esophagus. I also was given something that made me sleep. A sedative or something. Well, apparently I did gag with all the prep and when I woke up my throat was hurting. I told the nurse who came to check on me, she said that is strange normally patients do not complain of sore throats. She looked at my chart and said I was retching. One thing I know about myself is when I say I have a gag reflex, people should listen. I am now just a bit worried that the doctor was not able to complete the exam and find out what he needed to know about my GI tract. I am going to call the office tomorrow or email the nurse to see if everything went okay and my exam was successful. One thing I was not to impressed with was the desk staff. I live 2 hours away from where my surgery is going to be and where the surgeon's office is, so my husband had to sit and wait until this test was complete and I had woken up. He was there waiting for over 4 hours. When he went to ask if I was okay and if I was recovering, they just told him to go sit back in the waiting room. They would not tell him anything and was basically rude to him. When I first got to the clinic, the nursing staff were very pleasant to me. But when I woke up, I was pretty much ignored until they one nurse came to take the IV out of my arm. She said I could get dressed and leave. She did not give me any instructions on what to do for the evening, if I could eat or drink. I was pretty woozy when I woke up and while I was getting dressed. I had to stop at the desk to see if there was any thing I need to know when for I got home, she said NO. When I walked out into the hall I almost fell over and no one cared except a male orderly who was there cleaning beds. He asked if he could help me, and I thanked him and said I just had to go down the hall way and I would hold on the railing. My husband would help the rest of the way. Well, enough with my ranting. I am glad one more thing is out of the way and I am one step closer to my surgery date. Just waiting for the pysch eval and then hopefully I will get my date. Fingers crossed. Sheila

Hi, I'm from Calgary! I have had my first 2 appts with Dr. L. Farries in Red Deer! I have also had my endoscope on Friday! Just have to have my pysch eval and then hopefully get my surgery date! Look forward to meeting all the Canadians on the forum! Sheila

I have been lurking and commenting on some posts here on Vertical Sleeve Talk for 2 days now. I think it is time to get real with myself and explain everything that has been going on. I am a 45 year old woman. I have been married for 14 years. I have also been overweight - morbidly so all my adult life. I had my daughter in 1986 and after that my weight just kept going up and up. My heaviest weight I ever have been was 302. That scared the living daylights out of me. I am only 5'6 and carrying that much weight is not good. When I first began thinking about WLS I was looking for a magic bullet. Something I would not have to work hard to acheive but would just take the weight off. I now know that is not possible or reasonable. It took me 25 years to put on this weight, it is not going to come off easily. I have cried many nights because I can not stand looking in the mirror, having my picture taken, or have my husband even look at me for fear I will disgust him. I have fought depression, hypothyroidism, osteoarthritis, diabetes, night cramps, cancer and high cholestrol. I am still here. I am still living. It is now time to take charge and lose this weight. I will begin at the beginning. When I was a teenager, like everyone, I weighed 117 to 120. I looked pretty damned hot. I met the wrong boy, got pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with me or our baby. I was 19 years old. Having been brought up in the church I was very ashamed of myself for getting into this situation. I fell in the a depression that lasted for over 20 years. I was surviving not living. My family, friends and church members were all very supportive of me during this time. I had my daughter and we were accepted by everyone. If anyone ever had a problem with me they never let me know. This support system did help but it did not alleviate the shame I felt. I was living at home with my mother. I met a man who had 2 daughters and after a hasty courtship, we were married. I was stupid for I did not get to know him as well as I should. The first year was fine. We had a happy marriage. But I soon began to realize that I married him for all the wrong reasons. Again, my regiously beliefs kept me in my marriage because I made this decision and I had to stick with it. My ex-husband had many issues from his childhood that he had never worked out, and became apparent soon after our marriage began. Of course I wanted to try and help him. Once I realized I was unable to, my depression grew deeper. I began to eat to stuff my feelings. I was deeply unhappy. I could not stand to allow this man to touch me. And only when he became verbally abusive to me and my daughter did I do something and got out of the marriage. I began to research my options, where I could go for help, finding a place to rent for the two of us, and how much money I would require for all this. Finally the day came for me to take charge and make him leave. I did just that. It was like having a weight being lifted from my shoulders and I could breath again. Interestingly enough, I lost like 45 pounds right after that. I had no desire to eat, I was active, I decided to go back to school, I was feeling pretty good about my life. I soon became lonely and wanted someone to share my life with. Having grown up in the church I began to pray. I pray God would send me the person I was to spend my life with, and within a month, I met my new husband. My husband lived in Canada. I lived in Oklahoma. How did this happen you might ask, well, we met via the internet when it was brand new. We met in 1994. We were members of the same forum, and we began to write (email) each other as friends. He was dating - I was dating, and well our feelings for each other grew. Neither one of us was REALLY looking for a long distance relationship, but God works in mysterious ways. He brought me my husband and I was not going to allow him to slip away. 16 years later, here we are. Married, happy and now about to face yet another challenge with my WLS. My DH is very supportive of my decision. He attends all my appointments with me. He asks questions so he is well informed what to expect. He is helping with the pre-surgery diet. For my birthday he paid for me to start belly dancing classes on Jan 19, 2011. I am very excited about that. (I will write another entry to go over all the challenges and difficulties we faces through out our marriage for there were many. Most which contributed to my depression even further. ) When I first started to comtemplating have WLS, I was researching LapBand surgery. For many reasons but mainly because it was the least envasive and totally reversable. I was referred and accepted into a program my province was sponsoring where they would allow so many people have the LapBand and all the different services paid for by the province. I went through everything they offered only to be devastated when I heard due to financial reason's they were discontinuing the program. I was very upset. I did not allow that to stop me however. I again prayed to God to show me the way. To help me figure out a safe reliable way to lose this weight. One thing I have not told you is I work in an outpatient clinic that helps people who live with Parkinson's Diease. I am the secretary and I open all the incoming mail. One day I opened one of the physicians mail and found a weight loss pamphlet for a local doctor that was a self referral. So I called to find out what the clinic offered. I even made an appointment to go meet the doctor. After meeting them and hearing what their clinic offered, I realized it was not for me. I had informed them I was mainly interested in the Lapband surgery and was hoping they would be able to help me with that aspect. The doctor then told me about a surgeon who offeres WLS and is very hard to get into. He only accepts referrals one day a year and only the first 200 referrals get in. This doctor offered to make a referral for me to this surgeon. I said thank you and pretty much forgot about it. I then received a call some time later asking me to come to the clinic because the doctor was getting ready to make the referrals and wanted to meet with me again to make sure I was still interested. So, for me out of the blue this opportunity came. My prayers were answered once again. I had to weight to meet the surgeon for about 11 months (which was shorter than I thought I would have to wait). I have had my first appointment with Dr. Lawrence Farries on November 30, 2011. I went in totally set on getting the LapBand surgery. I had gone through so many classes and seminars I knew the surgery backwards and forwards, so I thought. In my first meeting, I was asked to watch a little video that explained all the WLS options, all the pros and cons, what to expect with each surgery. After viewing this video, my mind changed. They stated that with the Lapband surgery you had to be very diligent in dieting for it to work. You had to account for everything you placed in your mouth and make sure it is the exact right thing. I know myself, I know I am not dedicated. When I heard about the VGS, I felt like almost coming home. It felt like the exact right thing I needed. When I discussed this with the surgeon, he agreed with me that it was the correct surgery for me. He then put me on a pre-surgery diet. 1 cup of food 3 times a day. No soda pop, no caffeinated drinks, only skim milk. I now drink only water. I have been able to stick to my 1 cup 3 times a day and lost 21 pounds in one month. I have had to have a Endoscopy to check my GI tract. I have to have a pyschiatric evaluation which is coming up soon. and once those two things are clear, I will have a surgery date. I am not nervous about the surgery and the after diet or any of the possible complications, what I was nervous about was the Endoscopy. I had this done yesterday (Jan 14, 2011). I informed everyone I could I have a very bad gag reflex, and was told I would be asleep and would not remember anything and a spray would be giving to help numb my throat. Well, I don't remember anything about the scope however I did gag while I do not remember I gagged, I now have the sore throat to prove I did gag. I can not talk very loud at the moment (which might be a good thing for my husband ) and I can't eat anything that is very scratchy because I am having a hard time swallowing anything. Although I am sure everything went okay I am nervous I might have to go through that again. I don't know why I just have this fear that due to my retching it impeded the surgeon from getting all the information he needed to get. So that is where I am, I am waiting for my pysch eval, I have another appointment at the surgeon's office on Feb 8 and then I am hoping I will get my surgery date. My fingers are crossed for sometime in June/July. Please send good vibes. That is it for now. I will send another blog about the craze early days of my 2nd marriage. Sheila

I am having the same problem with my rings. I think for now I am going to buy a nice gold chain and wear them around my neck. Then when I am sure my hands have lost all the weight they will lose I will have them resized. My ring size went from a size 5 to a size 9 -10. And my hands were the smallest thing about me. Just one more option. Sheila

Wow, I really loved reading what everyone said they were going to do when they hit their goal weight. ~I will also probably cry because it will have been 25 years plus since being at my goal weight. ~I read someone say they would hop on the scale several times to make sure they saw it right. I will probably do that too. ~I have not had my surgery yet, but I have always wanted to do something special for my husband because he has been so supportive of me no matter what my weight, and that is to have some sexy boudoir photos taken. I have never felt comfortable enough to have that done, but I think when I hit my goal weight, this is something I want to do. ~I also want to have new family photos taken. Since I have not told any of my family in the US about what I am doing, I want to send out the new family photos and surprise them. ~I want to buy a whole new wardrobe, go for a complete make over, and buy sexy swimsuits for when we hit the beach. I am so looking forward to being able to do these things.

Hi, I too have hypothyroidism. I am just beginning this journey, and have met with my surgeon. They know I have hypothyroidism, but it didn't seem to phase them. I don't even think they brought it up once. Since beginning my new pre-surgery diet, I have lost almost 22 pounds. I never was able to lose weight like this before. I am not expecting to have any problems losing down to my goal weight after my surgery. However, I will keep you updated. BTW, my surgery is not yet scheduled but fingers are crossed for a June/July date.

Dusti, I have had some similar experiences. I have decided that I was not going to tell anyone what I am doing except for those who I know will be 100% behind me and my decision. I do not want to have other people's hang ups or opinions to over shadow what I need to do for myself. So far I have had nothing but support and love from the few people I have told. I am so happy I went this route because I have read to many times that when people share their most personal decisions with others, it can be heartbreaking when those people basically poo-poo that decision and make the person feel awful. I say to you, if you do not want to tell people, then don't. Only tell those you know will be supportive and respectful of your decision. Good luck on Feb 7, I am sure we all will be thinking and praying for your recovery and the new healthier you. Sheila

Congratulations on reaching and maintaning your goal. :clap2: I really like the idea of writing myself a letter. Just to put in there all that I hope will change and all the frustrations of having carried this weight around for the past 25 years. I just wanted to let you know your story just reading this 1 year out post has really inspired me. I am at the very beginning of my journey. I have not been given a surgery date yet, but I hope it comes soon. Thank you for sharing with all of us your story. I hope you will agree to add me as a friend. I would love to keep in touch and learn from you. Sheila :canada: