ProudGrammy

Had my 7 week PS followup on Monday! Dr is very pleased the boobies are healing nicely. No incisions opened up which is great!  However  my left nipple still has not popped out yet.  Was told to keep massaging it, which I will do. Told I could finally wear a regular bra. However we did discussed the fact that I bought the B cup bra in the style I use to wear  and am smaller than that B cup bra. Yet, my friend gave me her padded B cup bra  and the cup part fits over my boobies nicely. The padding comes out. The Dr and I discussed  sewing those paddings into my B cup bra as I need the back and sides higher which is my bra style. I do sew so I was pleased to hear to go ahead and do that for now.
Good News! The Dr wants me back on Sept 11th for the next consultation for PS which will be my arms. I was hoping for my tummy but I still have about 27 pounds before I get to goal. The Dr felt that the arms were ready to be worked on and the extra 27 I have to lose wouldn't really affect the arms as much as the tummy. Plus I have a hernia so he needs to coordinate with another surgeon  for the hernia repair and tummy surgery at the same time   This will  be done next year.  
I am able to go back to swimming and can go to the gym if I wish to do so. I have been walking with my walker and also my cane and have been riding my bike. I am feeling great and have so much more confidence and am becoming more involved in life. I am looking forward to finding out about the arm lift and how long of a recovery period I will need. I don't know if getting the arm lift will help with my ability to walk better but I do know it will help with the types of blouses I will be able to wear. No more long sleeves!

Went back to work this past Tuesday and Thursday 6, weeks after PS. The staff was so happy to see me and stated I looked good. This was the first of four excess skin removal surgeries, so it will be a long process. My breasts were made smaller for the ME I will become, so right now they are not in proportion to the rest of my body.  I didn't even fit into the B cup bra that the Dr told me I would be wearing.   I spent the weekend looking for bra enchancers to put fill out the B cups. Even though they adhere to the inside  bra side I do not feel comfortable with them in. However I do look better.  I only work 2 days per week so during the other days I will not be wearing them.   
A few weeks before I returned to work I was out walking with my walker each day. I only used the electric mobility device to shop. Last week I walked into the WLS office with just my cane. He was so impressed. He figured it out that I have lost 89% of my excess weight. I am only about 27 pounds from goal and I told him I would have 100% gone by Jan 26 2018, 2 years after my 3 procedure surgery.   When I went back to work on Tuesday I was able to use my cane several times while in the building to take short walks. Still used my electric mobility device for the longer walks as we have a huge building. The staff was surprised to see me using my cane. After work on Tuesday used the walker to go to Bingo and again on Wednesday to go to Michigan Rummy. Had to use the scooter on Thursday as I was all over the building. Come Friday I was extremely tired and rested most of the day. However for the PS I had being back to work a week earlier than expected, I think I did pretty good. 
I go back tot he PS this Monday for my 7 week followup. We will be discussing a few things I am seeing that I am not real happy with, but I am sure he will tell me things will get even better when the next PS is done. I just have to keep it in my mind that my body is still in the transition stage  and the final outcome of what my body  shape  may not take place until late 2018.  I am not a 497 pounder on a 500 pound limit electric scooter anymore. In fact the Vocational Rehab Department is in the process of trying to get me a smaller scooter as I  the one I currently have is very old, and difficult to load into the van because it is too big and I don't need that big of one now.   I shall continue to use my walker but will try walking more with just my cane, so by the time  my next PS   is over with I may not need the scooter any more.   Some day soon I can say I am walking without any aids and  I DID IT!  Please continue to read my blog and celebrate that day with me when it happens. 

On July 26th it will be 1 1/2 years ago that I had my 3 procedure hernia repair, gallbladder removal and sleeve surgery done. I have lost over 280 pounds from my highest weight but was still not able to walk without excruciating pain in my back. . 18 days ago I had the first of 4 excess skin removal surgeries. The Dr felt that I was low enough to be able to have a breast reduction and free nipple graft. I was suppose to have this surgery in March but the day before surgery, they canceled it due to finding microcalcifications in my left breast. I had to wait over 6 weeks to get approved for a biopsy and it proved to be benign. Than I had to go through all the preop testings and get approval again . Finally on June 26th I had my breast reduction and FNG. 
Today is the 18 day after surgery and I just walked 1/4 of a mile with my walker without any back pain. It felt so great to be able to do this walk without pain. I was and probably will continue to be hunched over as I still have a huge amount of excess skin on my tummy and lower half which needs to be removed as well. Despite being tired from the walk and sweating like crazy in this Florida sun I was able to do this walk. I am thrilled and just pray to God that I continue to be pain free on the rest of the walks I plan to do this weekend and in the future. I have a goal to do in Sept 2018 the  WLSFA Stamp Out Obesity 5K walk. Would love to do it this year but I doubt I will be ready for it in time. But come 2018 I am sure I will be able to do it if there is a group in South Florida sponsoring it. 
 

Hi folks I know I haven't written anything since June. That is mainly because I am finally living a life I should have been living all along.
It has been a little bit past 10 months since I had my 3 procedure surgeries for hernia repair, gallbladder removal and the sleeve. In those ten months I have lost 95 pounds for a total weight loss of 277 from my highest weight. I am still 40 pounds from my goal. I still can't stand for more than 5 minutes without pain. I must still use a cane to walk for a short 5 minutes until the pain starts. The back surgeon doesn't want to do any operations on my 4 bulging discs and spinal stenosis until I have gotten to my goal and had skin removal surgery. Why I really do not know.
 
However despite the limited time I can stand and walk I am able to do so much more than I ever could before losing 277 pounds. In March of this year I became the social director of our community and (with the help of many wonderful volunteers) have been able to plan and implement many wonderful Summer, Fall and Seasonal activities for our community. I have also been able to finally assist my room mate with bringing in the packages from our shopping trips. This year I was able to assemble the Christmas tree string the lights and put the ornaments on by myself while my room mate decorated the outside. What a wonderful feeling that was! In years past all I could do was tell him which branches to put the ornaments on. I have started attending Bingo on Tuesdays, Friday Morning social and Trivia nights. I have lived in this community for 26 years and this year I have met some of the wonderful people who live here. I have also taken on some new and different teaching responsibilities at my work with longer hours.
 
I am not at my goal yet, but I know I will get there. The weight loss has started to slow down but I am going to increase my exercise and do more than riding my bike and swimming. In 2017 I will probably join a gym and hopefully be able to do some sit down exercises of the circuit. I meet with my back surgeon again on Monday Dec 5th to review the x-rays and nerve conduction tests they were finally able to take. There is some talk about me getting an epidural in my back and seeing if that will reduce or eliminate the pain. If it wasn't for this horrible back pain I know I could do so much more than I am all ready. However I am thrilled to be doing what I am and to have finally had a life outside of the house.
 
Until I write again Have a wonderful Holiday Season, Stay healthy and happy! I know I will!

As I write this my daughter is in labor and our first grandchild is soon to make an appearance. This seems like the perfect culmination to a year of incredible change since my sleeve surgery. I;m down over 150 lbs from last year, as well as countless clothing sizes. I'm now making the transition from losing to living and the birth of a grandchild really underscores my amazing transformation. I started this process because my body couldn't handle my weight anymore and I was in pain and feeling helpless. I now feel alive and empowered. I read before surgery about how the after effects were felt in every aspect of your life and i doubted it could be so. Was I wrong.. New found confidence in life and the future are a wonderful bonus form successfully going through the process. I am ready for what will come and I know that my new grandson grandson (and future grandchildren) will greatly benefit from a more involved and active grandfather.

So my RNY was 1.27.16, it's been just over 4 months and I've been doing alright.. I'm down about 75 pounds and still dropping!
 
All in all, even with the weirdness of the past year and even the past few months... my life just sort of came perfectly crashing together last week in the most phenomenal way. I've been focused on myself and my health for the past year, finally back on track with EVERYTHING and decided to just sort of test the waters for myself in the ol' dating world by putting up profiles on POF and another site. Oddly enough 20 minutes after signing up, the second message I received was from a good friend of mine that I've had a crush on for a little while now and we decided to meet up for a late night cup of Coffee (I signed up at 12:40am.. and got the message at 12:55am.... when he was on his way home from work and I was setting up my profile!). So that cup of coffee turned into an early morning hike for several hours which turned into an all day date and looooooonnnggg discussions about life and the cosmos.
 
My life has been back on track and I feel like some funny little piece of karma had it's hand in Mike and I getting together too. We both work for an airline and just took a fabulous trip to Chicago last week. I am so pleased to be where I am at in life and have met someone that I am super excited about that is healthy and happy, wanting the same in me!
 
I dunno, I know it's still a "honeymoon" phase as they like to call it.. but I am still over the moon excited about my love life and about just being in such a great place overall. I haven't been this healthy, this happy, or this motivated in so many years..... I can't imagine going back to where I was before starting this life changing adventure last year! I am grateful for every day and look forward to all the tomorrow's I will be lucky enough to see!
 
Here's to love, happiness, and enjoying the little things in life!

Hi Everyone
It was 1 year ago today June 15th 2015 at 1 P.M. that I went to see the surgeon for a hernia, gallbladder and possible sleeve surgery. I had to use my mobility device as despite having lost 145 pounds on my own since 2004, I still was not able to walk into his office building. That right all, my highest weight was 497 pounds. I was pretty much housebound and in so much pain I cried every night. Any how 1 year old ago at 352 pounds, my surgeon told me I had to see him for the next 6 months as he was putting me on a HPLC supervised diet. After that more than likely I would be able to have the 3 surgeries all at once. On Jan 26th 2016 he performed the 3 surgeries with me weighing 314 pounds. A 38 pounds lost in those 7 1/2 months I had to wait. Since surgery 5 months ago I have lost an additional 60 pounds for a total of 98 pounds in this past year.
 
I am only able to eat about 2-4 oz of meat and still have the feeling of being full before I even get to the vegs. I never knew feeling full could be so painful. I am tracking calories around 800 to 900 calories and getting in 60 to 90 proteins and 41 to 80 carbs and all my water each day. I am biking 4 to 6 miles 5 days a week and started water aerobics 2 days a week. I am 5 pounds away from being able to go to a back surgeon to see what they can do to help me to walk again now that I am almost below 250 That was their magical number before they wanted me to get to before they would help me.
 
I was sitting here pulling out seams to to cut down and take in my clothing, but have taken a break from it as there are many pants I have to take in. I am thrilled to be doing this but it is a lot of work for my CTS hands to be doing. When I do stand to transfer to a chair my pants are falling off of me and I am stepping all over my pants legs. I can't afford new clothing but am thankful I know how to take in clothing.
Since my highest recorded weight I have lost 243 pounds. My BMI has gone from 80 to 41. I haven't posted any pictures since the day before surgery. But once I get below that magical number of 250 I plan to take some more pictures. When I do get there I will be sure to post. I still have 102 pounds to lose but because of the sleeve and all the hard work I am doing I know I will reach my goal.
 
I plan to be here over the next year as I just today renewed my Bariatricpal VIP Membership.

Yes, there are a lot of acronyms here. I've listed just the ones related to weight loss surgery, not ones in common use, such as LOL (laugh out loud). Be sure to let me know of any I've missed:
 
BMI: Body Mass Index
CW: Current Weight
DS: Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery
EWL: Excess Weight Loss
FF: Fat Free
GBP: Gastric Bypass
GW: Goal Weight
LBL: Lower Body Lift
MO: Morbidly Obese
NSV: Non Scale Victory, such as fitting in an airline seat
NUT: Nutritionist
OH: Obesity Help, another good online forum
PB2: Peanut Butter 2 (peanut powder substitute for peanut butter)
PCP: Primary Care Physcian
PPI: Proton Pump Inhibitor, such as Prilosec
RNY: Roux-eN-Y (gastric bypass) weight loss surgery
SF: Sugar Free
SMO: Super Morbidly Obese
SW: Surgery Weight
TT: Tummy Tuck
VBG: Vertical Banded Gastroplasty weight loss surgery
VSG: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy weight loss surgery
VST: Vertical Sleeve Talk, our wonderful forum
WLS: Weight Loss Surgery

Source: What nine months and 152.5 lbs down looks like.
I wanna look at this later when I'm losing my mind.

Bad news. I've been depressed, lethargic and feeling blah, meh, blue, and blobby for the last three days. Good news: There is absolutely NOTHING wrong IRL, so I know this is just recovery/hormones.
 
I don't know what the heck is wrong with my body but really, everything is going well surgery-wise. No problem with intake, protein, fluids, etc. Blood tests came back looking great.
 
I'm just down.
 
I knew this would happen, but I didn't think it would last thing long. This whole week, I've struggled to do much of anything. I lack vim and vinegar and zip and zing. Over the last 3 days, it's been more pronounced. I'm sort of slug-like right now, and I'd like the old me back please. I suspect so would my employees who aren't used to me being quite so out of it. They all know I had surgery, only one of them knows what kind.
 
R of course is bouncing all over the place like nothing happened, but I notice that he gets angry easily and is very sensitive these days--which is his version of depression. So we're both having to be a bit gentle with each other and cut the other some slack. He's been great about giving me room to be depressed instead of trying to talk me out of it. I'm trying to do the same for him.
 
I lost a pitch yesterday. I HATE HATE HATE losing. I could not have made any profit at the price they finally paid another company, so it was okay to lose it.
 
But what surprised me was that my body reacted immediately and badly to it. As soon as I read the email, I broke out in a cold sweat and almost passed out. No exaggeration.
 
I think my new tummy handles emotion/adrenaline differently. I noticed this when we tried to watch a movie right after the surgery and the rather tame thriller upset my stomach and my nervous system so badly I had to stop watching it. I think with a smaller tummy, the same rush of adrenaline doesn't feel as it used to. It's a horrible, uncomfortable, tense feeling and you want it to go away. Don't know if all adrenaline junkies have to deal with this or not, but I now know that *I* have to deal with this.
 
I want to kick myself in the pants and "snap out of it". I'm keeping it from getting worse, but I haven't snapped out of it yet.
 
Welcome to recovery, emo-style

This morning I weigh 99.8 pounds less than I did before I started my journey (roughly 1 year ago, with surgery in October 2012). I wasnt' going to post until it was an even 100. But I thought, .2 lbs...really? You're going to let that stop you from celebrating this milestone? No way!
 
I wish I had this surgery 10 years ago. I feel fabulous, both physically and mentally. I still make mistakes and continue to learn. I'm able to stick to plan 95% of the time.
 
For those who are riding the fence, I can tell you that this is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself. I know it will be a lifelong journey battling my issues with weight, but I finally feel like it's a fair fight.

To the weight loss surgery patient slider foods are the bane of good intentions and ignorance often causing dumping syndrome, weight loss plateaus, and eventually weight gain. Slider foods, to weight loss surgery patients, are soft simple processed carbohydrates of little or no nutritional value that slide right through the surgical stomach pouch without providing nutrition or satiation. The most innocent of slider foods are saltine crackers, often eaten with warm tea or other beverages, to soothe the stomach in illness or while recovering from surgery.
 
Understanding Slider Foods
The most commonly consumed slider foods include pretzels, crackers (saltines, graham, Ritz, etc.) filled cracker snacks such as Ritz Bits, popcorn, cheese snacks (Cheetos) or cheese crackers, tortilla chips with salsa, potato chips, sugar-free cookies, cakes, and candy. You will notice these slider foods are often salty and cause dry mouth so they must be ingested with liquid to be palatable. This is how they become slider foods. They are also, most often, void of nutritional value.
 
For weight loss surgery patients the process of digestion is different than those who have not undergone gastric surgery. When slider foods are consumed they go into the stomach pouch and exit directly into the jejunum where the simple carbohydrate slurry is quickly absorbed and stored by the body. There is little thermic effect in the digestion of simple carbohydrates like there is in the digestion of protein so little metabolic energy is expended. In most cases patients in the phase of weight loss who eat slider foods will experience a weight loss plateau and possibly the setback of weight gain. And sadly, they will begin to believe their surgical stomach pouch is not functioning properly because they never feel fullness or restriction like they experience when eating protein.
 
The very nature of the surgical gastric pouch is to cause feelings of tightness or restriction when one has eaten enough food. However, when soft simple carbohydrates are eaten this tightness or restriction does not result and one can continue to eat, unmeasured, copious amounts of non-nutritional food without ever feeling uncomfortable.
 
Many patients turn to slider foods for this very reason. They do not like the discomfort that results when the pouch is full from eating a measured portion of lean animal or dairy protein without liquids. Yet it is this very restriction that is the desired result of the surgery. The discomfort is intended to signal the cessation of eating. Remembering the "Protein First" rule is crucial to weight management with bariatric surgery.
 
Gastric bypass, gastric banding (lap-band) and gastric sleeve patients are instructed to follow a high protein diet to facilitate healing and promote weight loss. Bariatric centers advise what is commonly known among weight loss surgery patients as the "Four Rules" the most important of which is "Protein First." That means of all nutrients (protein, veggies, complex carbohydrates, then fat and alcohol) the patient is required to eat protein first.
Protein is not always the most comfortable food choice for weight loss surgery patients who feel restriction after eating a very small amount of food. However, for the surgical tool to work correctly a diet rich in protein and low in simple carbohydrate slider foods must be observed. The high protein diet must be followed even after healthy body weight has been achieved in order to maintain a healthy weight and avoid weight regain.

I forgot to do a blog last month. Oops. I find I frequent the WLS and Sleeve groups on facebook much more frequently than here. And of course MFP. Libb3C there if you would like to add me! I have logged for like 745 days?
 
 
SW 242 Height 4'11''
6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6)
Surgery date 8/8/11 213.4
 
1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2)
2 months - 180 (- 14.2)
3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8)
4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8)
5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8)
6 months - 162.4 (-4.8)
7 months - 155.4 (-7)
8 months - 149.6 (-5.8)
9 months - 143.4 (-6.2)
10 months - 139 (-4.4)
11 months - 132.6 (-6.4)
12 months - 126.8 (-5.8)
13 months - 121.4 (-5.4) Made goal! Normal BMI!
14 months - 118 (-3.4)
15 months - 116.2 (-1.8)
16 months - 114.8 (-1.4)
17 months - 112.6 (-2.2)
18 months - 114.6 (+2)
19 months - 109 (-5.6)
20 months - 108 (-1)
21 months - 107.2 (-.8)
22 months - 107.4 (+.2)
**Please note: my normal BMI range is 99-124 at 4'11''**

I've only had a few fears about going though the whole VSG process, all of them were reserved for life after surgery. Was I going to lose my hair? Will I still be able to have a fun night out with friends? The dreaded loose skin...
 
I didn't count on having my relationship go directly in the crapper and all before I even got the surgery.
 
After nearly 6 years of seeing a self professed chubby chaser, I naively thought that what he'd be understanding about everything. That I was extremely unhappy about my size and needed this to change. His first response was one of assurance that I was sexy the way that I was and there was no need for me to change.
 
Once he saw that was pretty serious about going though with this the reponse was increasingly negative. "You know I don't like skinny chicks" "I don't know how I'm going to feel about you after this" "I'm not going to be attracted to you". Oh silly me, I thought he loved me for me.
 
Long story short, 3 weeks ago one evening after I had cooked one of his favorite meals, baked a cheesecake for him (I hate cheesecake) banged his brains out, ran his bath (all things I love doing for the guy I love) we get into a little joking tiff about certain moments where his behavior was a little off over the past year. At least it started as a joke, until he started acting defensive. Red flag. So I didn't fly off the handle, oh no, I calmly said "I'm tired of you treating me like I'm stupid" and walked out. He finishes up in the bath and comes out and says "OK, OK, I screwed some chick" "It wasn't anything, it was just sex"
 
GTFO here with that BS.
 
I can't say that I was shocked but I'm angry that I didn't follow my first mind when it was screaming at me.
 
I'm frustrated that I have to go though this surgery alone now as well. I'm glad that I know now so I can stop wasting valuable time on someone who obviously did not value me enough to be honest, or better yet, to not creep around behind my back.
 
I'm a little concerned that I'm not laying in bed in my PJ's with a bowl of ice cream (ok a few bowls of ice cream) or plotting some diabolical revenge senario. It's really unsual for me. Although I did briefly have the urge to throw my cat on his face and hope that his eyes where gouged out.
 
Good riddance
 
 

Ok. So i am four days out of surgery and doing much better. The first three days ..well they were rough, but that can be expected... After all it is surgery. I joined this forum to get support and encouragement from others ..not dangerous and incorrect advice that some seem to be giving. Promoting eating solid foods after sugery within the first three weeks is just insane to me. Your stomach has staples in it and solid food could cause a leak! Anyone who does not get this and is more worried about what food they can get down right after surgery is not compliant to the protocol. Peroid. This is an indicator that some folks might not have been "mentally " educated and screened prior to the surgery. Not trying to scare anyone, or make them feel bad.. Just stating the facts. Members are only doing a disservice to fellow newbie sleevers saying it is ok and no big deal to eat solid foods within the three week post surgical peroid. I just find this unbelievable that jokes ate being made about it. Shame on you! To my knowledge these members are NOT doctors and are not experts in the what the medical implications of not following the sleeve protocol could be. You do not know each individuals situation nor is your situation the same as anyone elses. I hope in the future that folks will give anyone reaching out for help the right information. Information that all sleevers are given prior to surgery. i understand know each surgon has a different protocol but NONE of the surgons I approached/ interviewed in my research and selection allowed solid foods in the first three weeks. I did tons of research before making my selection based on the median of data that I collected. They ALL stated it was dangerous and could cause leaks. There are obviously some folks who were not educated as well as others prior and post to their surgery. Giving out wrong info is only hurting newbies not helping them... Had to get this off my chest.

A pal from my WL support group shared this one~
 
Eight Signs of Emotional Eating
 
A lot of people ask, "How do I know if I am over eating for emotional reasons?" If any of the following statements sound like they could apply to you, then it's likely you are struggling with emotional eating.
 
 
1. My hunger comes on suddenly. Physical hunger comes on slowly. Hunger from emotional eating often comes on quickly and suddenly.
 
2. I crave specific foods-generally not carrot sticks or steamed broccoli. Cravings for specific foods usually unhealthy foods are signs of emotional eating. Often people like the rush they get from satisfying their cravings. The rush is fulfilling emotional hunger.　
 
3. My hunger feels urgent- I need a particular food right away and I am willing to walk out of my way, or get in your car late at night, or raid my kids Halloween candy to get it. Physical hunger, unless you haven’t eaten for a long time, is usually pretty patient. It will wait for food. Emotional hunger demands to be satisfied immediately.
 
4. My hunger is often paired with an upsetting emotion- if I backtrack a few hours or a few days I’ll usually find an upsetting event and feeling that triggered the urge. Hunger thats comnnected to an upsetting emotion or situation is definately emotional hunger. Physical hunger is not typically triggered by emotions.
 
5. My eating habits involve unconscious eating-all of a sudden I’m eating ice cream and I find the whole contianer is gone.
 
6. I don’t stop eating in response to being full- I keep wanting more of the taste of the food. Physical hunger doesn’t need to be stuffed in order to be satisfied. Emotional hunger on the other hand often demands more and more food to feel satisfied.
 
7. My hunger isn’t located in the belly- I crave the taste of a certain food in my mouth or I can’t stop thinking of a certan food. Feeling hungry in this way is usually a sign of emotional hunger or binging. Physical hunger is happy to get what it can, while emotional hunger usually focuses on specific tastes and textures.
 
8. After I satisfy my hunger, I am often filled with a sense of regret or guilt.Feeding your body what it needs is not something to feel guilty about. If you feel guilty after you eat, it’s likely because part of you knows you’re not eating just to satisfy physical hunger.
 
When you’re eating for phyiscal reasons, you are usually mindful of what you’re doing. If you catch yourself eating, “just because”, then its likely you’re eating for emotional reasons.

Hello fellow sleevers,
 
Well it's been three months since my initial surgery, a little more actually and I am finally doing pretty well. Though I was in hospital for two months with a leak, I am finally starting to feel a little normal. I am back at work (part time admittedly) and getting around to christmas parties etc. I usually love this time of the year - I am loving it a little less this year. I am not sure if it's because I was sick and the whole Christmas thing is (frankly) exhausting or if part of my love of this time of year was food related (and since that's off the books, then my enjoyment is somewhat dimmed)...but I am generally feeling pretty good. My stamina still sucks but I have an exercise program that I will start after Christmas that I am hoping will help with all of that.
 
What news? Well, I am eating everything now - well most things lol. I am finding that many things do not suit me anymore. Carbs is one of them - bread, pasta and rice are really hard to eat so I avoid them. I hate protein shakes and powders so am focusing on consuming all of my protein through my diet. This means that I prioritise protein over everything else. Basically it's protein, veggies, fruit, dairy, carbs. It's working because as of today, I have lost 98 pounds. I have another 97 to go lol but I've lost it. It now means that my ticker will show double digits to lose rather than triple digits. It's a small milestone but it's mine, okay?? As we use the metric system here in Aus, double digits means anything under 99kg (about 218 pounds) so it will be a while before I get there. But at least my "to lose" pounds are now in the double digits, hey!
 
 
I hope you are all well and enjoying your sleeves.
 
Thank you for all your support and kind wishes during the past few months! I look forward to hearing of your successes and sharing mine along the way!
 
Merry Christmas!
 
Cheers, Lila

OK, so I'm 26 days post op, and I'm finding that I can't eat very much before I feel full, and I don't have much of an appetite either! I think I must be going through another healing stage, or something? Water goes down great, but anything else I try to eat, I can only eat like one egg with cheese, or a small amount of soup. Did anybody else go through this at about a month out? Also my weight has slowed down too! I was losing 1 pound a DAY for the first two weeks, now it's like I'm staying the same. I know I'm not suppose to weigh everyday, but I'm so anxious to get my weight off! My husband's Christmas party for his shop is on the 15th, and I want to be down as much as possible. I can't wait until I'm like 6 months out, so I'll be passed all these food issues, or at least I hope I will. I have Celiac, so I have that to deal with too. I have to stay away from anything with gluten in it, or man do I get sick!

Today I went in for my presurg scope, so they can look down into my stomach and make sure all is okay. I'm day 3 into my liquid diet, and because of my scope, I was not able to eat after 10pm yesterday until about 2pm today (after the procedure.) My mom, who is pretty awesome most of the time, went with me today because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. (They put you all the way out.)
 
Anyway, we had to sit back in the waiting area for about an hour before the doctor got there, and what did my mom spend that time talking about? Food! She read me a recipe she copied down from out in the waiting room. She listed what he will probably make for Christmas, and she pointed out that they were having my favorite one of her dishes (homemade beef stew) that night for dinner. I finally had to tell her that she was allowed to talk about food for the rest of the day! It was funny, but a little sad at the same time. It kind of encapsulated my experience with my family during times I've tried to lose weight: they say they support me, but then their actions say something else. My grandmother is the same way. She's famous for handing you a cookie, letting you start to enjoy it, and then looking at you and shaking her head, saying, "Boy, we really need to start watching our weight."
 
You gotta love family! But it was a good day. I was nervous about the scope, and it went really well. I had my last official appointment with the surgeon's office until the surgery, and honestly, the liquid diet is not too bad. I've actually lost about 4 pounds in the last 3 days. So onward we go-- 12 days left!

Hello fellow sleevers.
 
So I am now officially six weeks out from the test that confirmed the leak had healed. In reality, we think that perhaps it had healed a fortnight earlier (they'd done a dye test and it didn't come out of the drains so it was probably healed then). So it's possible it is 8 weeks out since I was healed. It's been a rough ride. I really struggled when i first had to eat and drink for myself.
 
I am pleased to say it's gotten easier. I am slowly learning what is better for me to have these days and what I feel better eating. For example, bread, pasta, sugar - the belly no longer loves It makes me feel sick and sluggish. I do much better when I avoid these things. Don't get me wrong, I still have carbs. I have between 1/4 and 1/2 a cup of cereal with dried fruit for breakfast and I lurve crackers with cheese and tomato. Mostly I do better when I can get my protein in. This is mainly lean mince and fish. Cheese, yoghurt and a half cup of milk per day is the other sources of protein. A friend of mine (who was sleeved two years ago) said to me just after I got home to focus on PROTEIN. Ever second word she said that was advice contained "PROTEIN" in the sentence. And she was right. Friends, if I was arrogant enough to offer advice to those getting sleeved it would be to focus on PROTEIN in the first couple of months. It's hard but totally worth it.
 
I am still loosing weight...I have lost (depending on the scales) between 38 and 41 kg. One set of scales even had me down an extra 10 kg but decided that they were stuffed lol. But it was AWESOME seeing the numbers around 115kg. I don't think I have been that weight since the millenium hahahahahahaha.
 
I always take the worst score for my weight because then if it's less then I will be surprised, so it's possible I am a little lighter than I am presenting here
 
My hair is still falling out. I am not bald or anything but I hate how much I am loosing. I hope this settles down as my nutrition improves. The best thing has been going to the hair dresser (who's a mate) and she puts in a conditioning treatment for me. I am getting this done weekly at the moment to improve my hair's condition which was terrible following all of my surgeries and it seems to be getting a little better. I am also having my first facial and pedicure tomorrow since the surgery. It should be lovely.
 
So does life get better after a leak? Yep. But it is a SLOW and LONG road back. It has been three months since my first surgery and OMG I am not even close to being back to where I was in terms of energy or fitness. But I am getting a little closer all of the time.
 
I still worry about the leak coming back but I am trying to let this go. Worrying about it won't make it any more or less likely. And honestly it is holding up my recovery to keep worrying about it.
 
I hope this blog finds you all well Talk soon! Lila

I won't lie to anyone it is hard work trying to live with out food as my crutch and sometimes (even with the surgery) I fall short of my ideal behavior when it comes to food. There are people who have told me that I've taken the easy way out. I disagree with them but I don't waste my breath arguing with them anymore. Even with the surgery I still have to closely monitor what I eat and be more active. The surgery has given me the help I need to lose weight but it doesn't mean that I woke up from the surgery cured of my old bad food habits. But I manage my eating much better. I'm encouraged that I'm moving closer to where I want to be. Good things that have happened to me since my surgery:
I can walk to my car without having to stop and take a breath
I'm not in constant pain because of my knees
I have given away over 10 bags of clothes that are way too big for me--I'm down 4 sizes so far
People sit next to me on the train (I used to feel so guilty taking up two seats when the train was crowded)
I cooked dinner at thanksgiving and it didn't wear me out --being on my feet for a few hours easy peasy
I look in the mirror and I recognize myself!
I do have a figure(my waist line is returning)
my bath sheets wrap around me there's no big gap!
there is really cute lingerie in my size
Oh my doctors have taken me off a couple of my meds
I realize I can only eat so much so I visually measure out a cup of food and that's my meal

There's a lot of little things but mainly I'm just thankful that I was able to do this surgery. I'm grateful that my insurance covered it and I'm grateful that I chose the right program. I feel really blessed by the whole experience problems and all.

I have had an absolutely crazy past few weeks. Not only did I have my sixth month surgiversary where my total weight loss was 90 lbs, but my doctor and I had a touching Hallmark moment where I thanked him for doing the type of job that he does and that it was the best decision of my life. There was also a hug involved. My doctor is really awesome and I swear I saw a glimmer of moisture in his eyes! *grin*
 
I also turned the BIG 3-0! It's kinda funny because people at work made me show them my license because they didn't believe me. They were convinced I was in my early to mid twenties. Then they couldn't believe the difference between my license picture and what I look like now! I had a big 3 day celebration for my birthday! It was a validation and affirmation of life at its most basic. The first night I went clubbing with friends. I had searched long and hard for a hot outfit and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. My brain still thinks I'm the old overweight and frumpy woman that I was 6 months ago, and not my new curvy size 12/14. Guess what happened yall! *gleeful smile* Men came up to dance with me! Good looking men, too! I was invited up by some of the dancers to dance on this lit dance table in front of the entire club! Apparently I'm "a hot and sexy dancer" who "knows how to move". I might have also gotten my first impromptu lap dance, but a woman has to have SOME secrets, right? *wicked smile*. (HAHA! I just reread this and realized it sounds like I went to a stripclub. It was actually a regular dance club that had platforms that people could dance on.) Swear to god I'm still blushing about this....I always thought men wanted the perfect skinny girls BUT apparently there are many of them out there who are attracted to me even now! It was SUCH a boost to my ego and my sense of sexuality. I know that I shouldn't let other people's opinions define me and blah blah blah, but for someone who has often felt invisible to the opposite gender....it was amazing.
 
The next day my friends and I traveled to a place where we could zipline, megajump (jumping off a platform 70ft in the air into a controlled fall) and doing obstacle courses set 40-60 ft in the air. We were in climbing gear and it was amazing. I kept expecting things not to fit, or for someone to pull me aside and tell me that I was over the weight limit....but nobody blinked. I don't know when my brain is going to catch up with the rest of me, but I have to say I'm enjoying these little shocks of surprised delight that I keep getting. I've decided to join a rock wall climbing club as I've fallen in love with climbing, ziplining, and jumping from tall places. This is amazing as I'm actually terrified of heights! Again, it was very life affirming.
 
The third day of celebrations involved going out to dinner and going to a burlesque show. It was awesome and the perfect way to say adios to the 20s and welcome in my new and sexy 30s!
 
Okay, now for the down and ugly. I had been stalled out at 191.4 for ages. I think the truth of it was that I was tired. I had fought for the last 6 months to lose weight and break 200 and I almost felt like where I was, was okay. Silly, I know, but I was so tired and discouraged when my stall kept going. So I fell off the diet (I still ate small portions, but I didn't make the BEST choices and while I didn't gain weight, I sure as hell wasn't losing it either). It's like my subconscious was saying "eh, you're looking great and this is good. Relax and have another chicken tender". Stupid stupid stupid. I would like to blame my exhaustion and the fact that work has stressed me out beyong all belief to the point of edging into burnout. I had to actually beg my boss for time off or that she would be working me into the ground. But all those are, are excuses. For my birthday I drank and ate whatever I felt like and I realized how much I don't like the way I feel when I do that. Sodas, tequila, and fried foods make me feel heavy and icky. It is definitely not a habit I want to pick back up!
 
So my birthday put me back on track, ya know? I felt how amazing life was....that I could go to a club and people would WANT to dance with me....that I could overcome my fear and zipline, and that I sure as HELL didn't have surgery and go through all the complications afterward to be satisfied with 191.4. Screw that. So I pulled on my big girl hipster panties and gave a good long look at my current diet. And decided that I needed to switch things up a bit. I've gone back to eating mostly fish and lots of fruit and veggies. Because I work a really odd schedule (and because I work around food) I have a chocolate protein drink as a 'snack' so that a) I'm full and I can have a taste of chocolate and this keeps me away from snacking on brownies or other crap. Even if you only have a bite or two that adds up over time. I'm forcing myself to drink so much water that I'm in danger of turning into a fish and have rededicated myself to running. I ran 20 minutes without stopping tonight and it felt great!
 
I may have temporarily 'lost' the battle, but I'll be damned if I lose this war. I set some new goals for myself for weight loss and I'm gonna meet them and smash them to itty bitty pieces!
 
And would you know, when I stepped on the scale today I weighed 188.8? Lyra is back, wearing her fabulous knee high ass kicking boots, and is ready to wage some serious war!

1 year ago today I was being rolled into the Operating room thinking that this is my last chance to change my life. This is the last chance I have to get healthy and make a change for the better. This is the last chance for me to for me to stop just existing and start living. Growing up I was always the largest kid. In high school I went from being a 5 foot 8 kid to being 6 foot 4 man wearing a size 15 shoe. In high school I was athletic and worked out daily. After high school my family moved to Atlanta so my sister could receive better treatment for her MS. During my time in Atlanta I started to gain weight .I was sedentary and but still eating like an athlete. My sister lost her battle with MS and it affected my family severely. I started eating and packing on pounds , and me working a call center job working second shift did not help. In early 2011 I started looking for a way to get healthy. At this point I had not been weighed in at least 3 years. I went to the doctor and stepped on the scale and it read 540 pounds. My mother started crying uncontrollably at the doctors office, she saw 540 pounds and then saw me in a grave next to my sister. That was the day I decided that I have to have WLS, I had did diets and lost weight but it always came back. I started my journey at 540 pounds with back and joint pain, High blood pressure, borderline diabetic, and un-diagnosed sleep apnea. I was able to get down to 490 the day of surgery. I am down to 330 pounds as of today with a total loss of 210 pounds. I still have about 40-50 pounds to go but I am more than happy with my results. My life has improved so much in the last year. Physically I am able to walk for 10 minutes without my back being in knots and my joints screaming in pain. I am able to get a full nights sleep and not wake up tired. No more high blood pressure, no more back or joint pain, no longer borderline diabetic. Mentally I have become a different person also. My outlook on life is positive. I have become a stronger person inside and out. I no longer let negative people or issues get me down. I was just diagnosed with MS October 15th. Usually this would get me down especially since my family has history with this disease( my deceased sister), but I just started living again, I will not let this control my future. I am not going to stop living until I am dead- and I am not dead yet. I will you leave you guys with a quote that I live by. Stay strong and stay positive everyone.
 
"Now we are the masters of our fate, That the task which has been set us is not above our strength .That it's pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance .As long as we have faith in our cause and an unconquerable will-power Salvation will not be denied us ! "- Winston Churchill

So last night I went to my first wls support group, I had missed the last meeting because I rather had worked out. I wish I just would have gone to the gym this time. It was forty minutes of how to handle stress and not that the information was bad, but it was a seminar not a support group. I really love this website where I can discuss my feelings and get feedback which is what I assume would be what a support group is suppose to be like. I did go work out at the gym and swim laps afterward but I just hate being bored or wasting my time. Well, at least I now know I am not missing anything, so maybe it wasn't a total waste.
 
I think the most frustrating thing is when I don't lose weight as much as I would like. The scale is messing with me it is staying at 296 but I don't want to worry about it. I had my surgery on 8/29/12 so it's only been two months. I have never lost 44 pounds in two months in all my life, so I am heading in the right direction, the weight is coming off and my pants are loose. So my plan is to continue to lose weight and gain some patience with the process. The thing is I have spent so much of my life fat I want to live it healthy and at normal healthy weight but all good things will come in time.

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D