My Life as Liz

Pre op liquid diets make no sense to me. Can you have more substantial liquids like protein drinks or cream soups?

l started this post a couple weeks ago. Apparently I'm bad at this. I responded to my Stupidity spreads like herpes entry in case anyone is interested. I don't know if it sends out notifications to posts you've responded to when a new reply is made. Turns out I can't be the food police and the people who do these things and look for ways to cheat aren't going to be successful and that's just how it is. So what's new with me? I made it to wonderland. I am 198 (clothed) as of yesterday; official hospital weigh in. that's 83lbs down from my highest weight. I really thought I'd be more excited. I think it's partially because I got a cold at the same time so I felt like complete ****. It's been almost 2 weeks now and I'm stick hacking out stuff. I do feel so much better than I did, though. When I'm completely well, we're going to DDR to celebrate. Or more specifically, I am going to DDR until my legs give out! Oh how I love you DDR. For those of you who don't know what DDR is, it's the rhythm game Dance Dance Revolution. Most people know what I'm talking about when I say, "the game with the arrows you have to step on." I have it for PS2... er had. Apparently we sold the games, but we've still got the pads. Hopefully someday we can turn them into hard pads and get the games again. I would love to have my own DDR machine, but I don't have the extra 5K to buy one, nowhere to put it, and I hear the pads need constant maintenance, which I would have no clue how to do. I used to be really good at DDR. Well, good for me. Both of us were. My bf could do most of the songs on Heavy, and I could do most of the songs on Light and a few on Standard. The last time we played before this most recent time a couple weeks ago our general consensus was: I used to be able to do this. Having lost all this weight has made a big difference between then and now. I'm just below where I was at my DDR prime. It's always been a dream, goal, fantasy of mine to be able to do Cowgirl on heavy. Here is a great video showing a guy doing Cowgirl on heavy on doubles. My goal is to do it single player, but I feel that this particular video shows exactly how hard this song is to do with all the galloping and fast steps. Most of the other videos on youtube don't show the foot movement so well. I am nowhere near this yet. I just can't move fast enough yet. But some day, even if it kills me (!!!) I will do it! September I went though one of my totes of old clothes I had been saving to fit back into. Mid October I had the bf get down my next tote. I wasn't expecting to fit anything in it, but I'm so glad I had him get it down. A lot of the things fit and some were too big. I'm extra happy as well because if I had gotten to my red pants and had them be too big, I would have been disappointed. While going through my clothes, I separated everything into keep, clothing exchange / GoodWill, and eBay. If it wasn't for my credit card bill from being off work for a month, I would probably be too lazy to eBay anything. I'm the kind of person who never carries a credit card balance and now I have an outrageous (for me) one. I still need to take pictures of everything and post it all. I'm so bad at putting things off. I wonder if it would be ok to post a link to my listings here once they're up? The Red Pants OMFG my red and black pants fit OMFG!!! Now that was just f**king amazing! That's exactly what I said too, "O M F G!" The smile on my face could not get any bigger, it was so awesome! I got these pants back when Torrid made quality clothes that actually fit and didn't make plus sized women look like ugly clowns; about 8 years ago. I wore them on our first date. I still have the top I wore with them. One of the first thoughts through my head besides pure joy was, "ok, I'm done losing weight. It can just stop now and then when these pants wear out, then start again." lol. That is how much I love these pants! The fabric, the style, the cut, everything about them I absolutely love and they don't make pants like them anymore. I have my 3 month (12 week) follow up appointment on Monday. I have heard from others that it's a waste of time and that some people just make one on one appointments with their surgeon. I'm hoping that it's free. Last night the BF made butternut squash potage. It's fantastic! It was so yummy and filling and it made me regular if you know what I mean. Which is why I'm sharing this. It's probably not something we should eat, but it's delicious, easy to make, and as mentioned, has other helpful benefits as well. And if you're anything like us, not something we'll eat often anyway. He happened to see the recipe and we happened to have leftover squash. That's the link to the video. They make it with pumpkin. He doubled the recipe, caramelized the onion and squash instead of just browning, used chicken broth instead of water, no bullion, substituted the heavy cream with fat free half and half, and I'm pretty sure he cooked it longer so it would thicken up more. Cooking With Dog has a bunch of great recipes. One of our favorites is Mapo Tofu. I haven't had it since surgery, but I'd like to. As I mentioned in my other post, I'm doing a 5k on the 12th. I haven't been training for it. I've been so lazy. =/ We were really good about walking most days of the week after surgery but then it rained early October and I got lazy and have only exercised like twice since then. I know I can do the 5k, but I will be more sore than I would be otherwise, and that's not fun. Bestie and I did the same one last year together and I did the same thing, didn't train. Ugh, I wish I wasn't so lazy when it comes to exercise. I want to exercise but I can find every reason not to. Needless to say, I won't be beating my best time. My goal should be to finish. But my real goal is go finish and not be last. That's always my goal. And to beat my previous time, which isn't happening this time (repetitive much). After that 5k I'll decide if I want to do the one on Thanksgiving. I really want to, but it really depends on how I feel after. If I have enough money I'd like to do the one in the city north of me and the one in the city south of me. There's something about 5ks. I just want to do them! We want to do Bay to Breakers again next year. He wants to do it so he can pig out at our favorite Thai restaurant (like we did last year). That's not a motivating factor for me anymore. I want to do it to do it. And hopefully be more prepared and possibly beat this years time. Plus I want to get the pictures from it so I can have before and after pictures as well. Which is one of my motives for my next 5k as well. >.> I had this idea earlier today. I have no idea if it will even work. It's to do a 5k a month every month next year. Of course idk if there are that many 5ks near me. My current goal is to be able to walk 3 miles every day like it ain't no thang. And then to add a mile each Sunday (our designated long walk day) until we're up to 10+ miles. I would love to get up to at least 13 miles. I want to try the Nike Half again. But I want to really be prepared for it unlike last time. I've even made a training schedule, but haven't been sticking to it. I think a good goal for the end of the year is to have 3 miles be easy. Maybe be up to 4 miles on LWDs. Besides all the excuses I can come up with, the rain is a real detour. I know I can go to the gym and walk or use the treadmill at the parents house, but walking long distances on the treadmill kinda sucks. There's a 5k / 10k / half marathon happening a week before B2B that's put on by the same people who put on the 5k I'm doing on the 12th. I really want to sign up for the 10k. I'm confident that I can be up to that distance by then.... if I start training now like I want to but can't seem to. But idk if that's a good idea right before B2B. It's a mostly flat course. So it shouldn't be too hard. Unlike that wretched hill at mile 2.5 during B2B. If you want a challenge walk/run/whatever half a mile at 12% incline on a treadmill. It's brutal. We went monthly to the city to walk it to get ready and I practiced a few times on the treadmill. I really want to get one of those arm things that you put your phone/mp3 player in. I got a smartphone, so I have a bunch of good music on it now, but my workout clothes don't have any pockets. And while I could stick my phone in my bra, I don't want to do that because I don't want my sweat to mess it up. I usually don't wear sweaters when I workout because I get too hot. Any recommendations on good arm music things (idk what they're called)? I have Wii Fit Plus, Just Dance 2 & Summer Party, and Zumba for the Wii but I haven't been playing them. I do have one complaint about the Just Dance games. My right arm gets SO tired and my left arm is just fine. It's really annoying! I like exercising both sides equally. Those games don't allow this since it only picks up your movements in your controler hand. See, I have no excuse not to exercise. I have plenty I can do without even leaving my apartment. I'm probably just going to need to make a weekly excercise schedule based on when I work (I don't have a regular schedule, my company sucks in that way) and the weather. I should go to the gym after we go grocery shopping tomorrow after work. I feel like I'm rambling now. Time for bed.

Last night at support group we talked about how to handle eating on Thanksgiving. It was mostly for the benefit of the pre-ops who will be struggling with eating how they're supposed to for the pre-op meal plan and what to do when you run into the people who like to get in your business and make an issue out of why you're not cramming your face full like everyone else. Not that everyone stuffs themselves on the holidays, but that if there was a time that people were more likely to eat more than they normally would, I do believe the holidays would be it. Thanksgiving is all set for me. It's Christmas that I'm worried about. And my oldest nephews birthday is right before Thanksgiving, but we've sorta got a plan for that, if there is a family dinner involved. We usually go to my nephews favorite steakhouse for his birthday. So our plan is to split an entree and eat off the same plate. I'll get first pick of the meat since I'm picky and then we'll have a safe word so that my bf knows I'm done and the rest is his. Does that sound like a good idea? About half the family members who'll be there don't know I've had surgery. Thanksgiving will be easy. We're doing it with my bfs family this year. They know I had surgery and they are all supportive. His mom is even modifying the menu just for me. I keep telling her not to since chances are I won't even eat the things she's modifying, but I know it's her way of showing she cares. But Christmas is a whole other story. I'm not sure yet, but there's been talk that Christmas will be at my sister's new house. My sister and her husband don't know I've had surgery. Neither does my dad, grandma, or any other extended family. Just my mom, sister in law, brother, and oldest nephew know. AKA the non assholes of the family. I shouldn't phrase it that way, I have aunts and uncles and cousins who are awesome. But in other states so they don't count since I hardly ever see them anyway. I see them seldom enough that it's a feasible explication that I exercised myself skinny. Back to my point, I am not comfortable eating in front of my sister (or her husband for that matter), and I don't really want to eat in front of my dad either. Originally we we're thinking that we could eat with my bfs parents and then go to her house after. I could say that I'm still full and he could eat if he felt like it. At first this seemed like a fool proof plan. But then I got to thinking, I want to spend more than a couple hours with my family. Even if I don't care for half of them as much. I like playing board games and hanging out. I just really really really don't want to eat in front of them. In front of her. I don't know if we'll be sitting around a table like at my parents house or doing it buffet style and then sitting in front of the tv like how we do at my brothers house. I have a lot of resentment toward my sister. I know she loves me and I love her, but there are things I can't get over. A little background: she's 9 years older, I'm 28. She's always been the good one. Always did what she was told, never talked back. She's never dyed her hair. She's very religious, very conservative. She's always been thin (I think a size 12 is her biggest, to me that IS thin, her average size (before baby) was 8). I am the exact opposite. I was the 'problem child.' She has a way of making snide remarks about being fat. Her husband does it too. I remember when she first got pregnant she made a comment about how she hoped she wouldn't get fat. I wanted to tell her that I was going to have surgery, but I decided against it. As much as I would love to her her support, I know I won't get it. A comment she left on one of my FB posts is the perfect example of why I can't trust her with this. I posted a link to a 5k I want to do on Thanksgiving morning. (I'm undecided whether I will do it or not, I have a 5k on the 12th, I want to see how that goes first since I haven't been training for it.) She commented about how there's one on a different day that she and her husband were thinking about doing. And then she left another comment saying, "this way you feel less guilty when you do the inevitable...overeat" I don't know about you (the reader of this entry), but I'm pretty sure that was unnecessary. Hello, it's Thanksgiving! Most people are probably going to end up eating more than they normally would on this specific day. Whether she meant this maliciously or not, she still said it. Another thing that bothered me, probably more than I'd like to admit since I'm writing about it. About a month out from surgery before I went back to work, me and my mom went to visit my nephew. Neither she or her husband noticed or rather, neither said anything about me looking different. I expected it because I had just gotten new glasses. I was planning on using that as my excuse if they said anything. I told my bfs mom this and she was shocked. I don't think I looked that much different from right before surgery up to that point, but I know I looked different from how I did earlier this year. I was at least 40lbs lighter from where I was on my birthday in April. Even my dad noticed. He told me that I looked good and shook my hand. That made my day! I think I mentioned it earlier, my dad doesn't know I had surgery. He thinks I took a month off work because of my back. I think I'll stop here and do an update in another post. Any thoughts or comments or advice is welcome.

It's a myth that you can 'mess up' your metabolism. Certain things can effect it but not in the ways most people think. I hear a lot of people say that they are slow losers. There are benefits to losing more slowly. Excess skin for example, the slower you lose the more time you skin has to shrink and not be so saggy if that's what you skin is going to do. Plus you can only lose so much weight so fast before it becomes unhealthy. Just be happy your weigh is continuing a downward trend. I'm right there with you; 2 months out and getting close to wonderland. I can't wait! I'm sure you'll achieve your goal since it's not unrealistic. Best of luck to you and a speedy recovery come your leg surgery.

Patience. Are you writing down everything you are eating and logging your exercise? There could be something you may be doing that you don't realize? And if not, then just be patient and keep following your plan. The weight will come off. Some times our bodies need time to adjust.

My program recommends weighing everyday. Like Sweetybabs and Linda E said, it keeps you accountable as well as helps you notice trends, such as if you start gaining weight you can check your food log and see what the problem is and fix it. I personally don't weigh in every day. Mostly because my scale is my Wii Fit and I'm lazy.

I will just say that 1 in 3 people who get WLS fails. So instead of getting indigent, I will be happy with the fact that those who are doing it wrong will be that 1 and I will be one of the 2 who will be successful. I had to get that out. Because I can't just post where it's pissing me off, "WTF, you're doing it wrong! Do you want to be successful or not?!"

I agree with LindaS. The number on the scale may not budge, but you could lose a dress size. Also, your weight fluctuates throughout the day, so weighing in at the same time can be more accurate. The weight will come off. As hard as it is, be patient.

Thanks for all the replies guys. @Ivy - I got my stats from my surgeon. What made me so mad was on a different forum. My problem is that I can't be the food police. Especially since I'm not a doctor and I'm still a noob. I want everyone to succeed. But my way of doing so is somewhere along the lines of, "wtf are you doing?! Do you want to be successful or do you want to fail and not lose the weight?" A bit harsh. What happened was this: A person posted that they really wanted a cookie. It got a good amount of replies. Then one person replied that they got sugar free oreo's from walmart. The original poster replied saying that they'll have to stop buy walmart and check that out. I'm almost 8 weeks out and I'm pretty sure they both had their surgeries after mine. I know at least one of them did for sure. I wanted to write something alone the lines of what my example was above, "wtf! Do you want to be successful or not?" But I didn't because I didn't see it ending well. So I ranted to my bf and then came here and posted that I was pissed. My bf said I shouldn't being the drama from there to here, so that's why I didn't get specific. Good thing too, since it's much easier to explain things when you're not heated. I really want everyone to succeed. The other forum I'm on is specific to my program. We have a whole binder explaining exactly how we're supposed to do everything. We all had to go through a bunch of stuff and classes to get our surgeries. They really try to drill it into our heads what life will be like after surgery and what you can and cannot eat. You'd have to be not paying attention or not care to not know what you are obviously not supposed to eat (specifically according to my program). It infuriates me because why the hell would you get a major elective surgery and then go and f**k it up!?! I'm not saying a little experimentation (I know I'm guilty here) is going to mess everything up and cause failure, but I don't understand why it would be worth the risk. For example, why keep the cookies around just in case you want them. It just screams of setting yourself up for getting off track. I keep hearing now is the new habit forming stage and you've got to make the good habits now because it's really hard to make then later. There's really no logical explanation why this makes me so mad. Their success or failure doesn't effect me personally. I guess I just want to be helpful and correct people when they're doing things that could potentially harm their weight loss efforts. I'm not trying to be mean about it, but I don't know how to say things so they'll sink in and be taken seriously other than, "are you trying to f**k this up?" I'm not surprised that given my upbringing, this is the main way I know how to communicate things. I wish I could be more tactful when it comes to things I am passionate about. I hope that makes sense. ~Liz

I haven't tried it, but being 4 weeks out I doubt I have a need for it. And I'm very skeptical of it. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but it seems like something you could do on your own if told how it works instead of paying for it. Paying for it just seems ridiculous. It seems to me if you're writing down everything you put in your face and measuring all your foods, you shouldn't have too much trouble. You look at what you've been eating and you can clearly see where the problem is. Or depending on your plan, for me it would be like going through the stages again. Like I said, I'm only 4 weeks out, so idk how accurate what I'm saying is. It just makes sense in my head. The one thing I stand by is it doesn't sound like something you should pay for. There have to be enough people who have done it to be able to take that information and do it yourself. Day 1 went like this, day 2 went like this, etc. If they explain how it works there is no reason for some company to profit off of what you can do yourself. I'm cheap by the way. Plus I have heard from medical ppl that you can't 'break' your pouch. Sure you can stretch it out. But I think that's why it's so highly recommended that we write everything down and measure everything. Because most of the time it's user error and is fixable b/c we may be doing things we don't even realize. I have no idea if this response makes any sense. I just kinda went off semi over explaining things where it may not have been necessary like I sometimes do.

Yesterday I had 2 NSV's. First I was able to fit into this short sleeved jacket thing. I could fit it before a little, but it was too tight and I couldn't button it. And now I can. And it's super cute. =D. And then I tried on this super cute hoodie that my sister got for me like 3 or 4 Christmases ago. It didn't fit at the time so I never wore it but I was so insanely happy that she got it for me! And now I can fit it. I was so happy I cried. =''''D I had to calm myself down before I could leave for my moms. I drove down to my mom's to go to this Indian thing at her church where they talked about their missions trip to India, sold things to raise money for their fund, and served dinner. We bought a few things, listened to the presentation and then ate. I'm on state 3 now, so I was bad and ate solids. I had a little curry (I think) chicken, tandoori chicken, and a bite of potatoe. It was tasty. I tried a small bite of their dessert balls and had to spit out out. It was way too sweet. We brought a tupper with us and took the rest of mine and a second plate home for my boyfriend. Today we went to a flea market about 2 hours away from my moms (1 hour from me). We didn't get anything, but they did have fake MAC, which I found amusing. And was kinda shocked at appalled when I announced it was fake and a lady still bought some. smh. Then we went to my sisters so I could cut her hair and we could visit my nephew (he's almost 3mo). During the cut she told us about this guy she saw at the park who was running or jogging who had man boobs. Wait, no. They weren't man boobs, they were full on breasts. He needed a bra. It was "SOOOOOOO GROSS!!!" According to her. She did not say what build the guy had. I told her that some guys have gynecomastia and can't help having boobs b/c it's a natural disorder. Her response: "ew that's gross." Yeah, it's so gross that some people are born with disorders that they have no control over. Yeah, ew. Who cares if they have feelings, lets all talk **** about them. And that is why I can't tell her that I had surgery. It also brought home how oblivious my mom is to her fat bashing. She was laughing at my sisters story. I didn't think it was funny. Of course me being the one always made fun of for their weight by a lot of people, my own family included, thought, how would this guy feel if he knew people were saying this about him? He's out there running or whatever, getting or at least trying to get in shape. Good for him. Not, ew gross. What if he lost a bunch of weight and now has saggy skin that looks like man titties? Either way there is no reason to recall this moment later with a group of people. Were is moobs so gross you couldn't stop thinking about them? Seriously. I think a lot of mean things in my head (and don't you dare deny it, we all do this! I never said I was proud of it) and some times I feel bad about it, but I don't go, "omg I saw this person today and they looked like this, ew" later when with friends. I think it was right after surgery when everyone was visiting me and my mom mentioned my sister and I think it was my boyfriend who said how she's always fat bashing and my mom was like, "she doesn't do that" and my sister in law was in the background nodding her head vigorously like, 'oh yes she does' and I think my bf said just that. I can't remember if I said anything at all. I was so out of it. Continuing along. So my bf and I got new phones on Friday, They're so awesome. So I was taking pictures of my nephew with my phone. He is just so cute! Then my sisters husband asks/tells me not to post any pics of him on Facebook. I'm like, ok. I didn't think much of it. Then he said something like, you can send pics to us to see. This gave me the impression that I needed approval before posting any pics. They he added, and we can post them if we choose. I was just like, ok. But this really pisses me off and makes me really really sad. First why I'm pissed off. It's so minor but it's still important to me. So the way I feel is that if I took it I should be the one who posts it. It's mine. It's my creative shot, angle, whatever. I should get credit for it, it's mine, I took it. Like I said, minor, but still. Then I was sad for varying reasons. He's my nephew. I'm a proud aunt. I was to brag about how cute my nephew is just like everyone else does and be able to say, look how cute he is. I have everything set to friends only, btw. It makes me sad b/c now I can't post a picture of us together, like me holding him. It makes me sad because I just want to be like everyone else. And then I start thinking, did I do something wrong? Is that why they don't want me to post anything? I understand the security issue. But it's not like I'm posting where they live or even allowing people I don't know to see them. Or plastering her boobs all over FB. It was after I texted a couple pictures to my bf who wanted to see them (he even asked me, "is it weird if I want to visit them to see nephew and not them?" He hasn't seen him in person yet) that my BIL said to not post pics. I posted pictures from the day he was born. I thought if there were any pics up that they didn't want up they'd tell me and I'd take them down. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I keep wondering if I should take them down or leave them. I cried a lot about this. Then I texted with my bf and helped calm me down. Around my family I always end up feeling bad about myself. Like I've done something wrong. I wish so hard that I had someone I could call and talk to who I didn't feel like I was being a burden or inconvenience on. No one offered to let me hold the baby. I feel weird about asking. Neither of them noticed I had gotten new (different) glasses or that I'm smaller. (Like 50lbs since March, total like 62ish lbs.) I even had a whole comeback ready. Like if they said something about me looking different, I could reply with "new glasses" and completely dodge the weight issue. It was kinda nice not to have my weight mentioned. When I first came down yesterday my mom gave me my bfs birthday card to give to him and told me she got anniversary cards for my sister and brother who both have anniversarys coming up. I told her that my anniversary is coming up. She had this look and tone in her voice like, what anniversary? Like it didn't count as an anniversary. Not that it didn't count for anything but like calling it an anniversary was different or something. It'll be 8 years next month. I am so sick of people making me feel like **** because I'm not married. If you want me to get married so bad then pay for it! Because I certainly don't have the money. I could go on forever about this issue specifically. But I need to go to bed. So I will leave you with this: At least I can fit into this computer chair now.

I take Flinstones Complete multi (since it has iron in it, I don't need an additional iron supplement. If my multi didn't have iron I would take an iron too). 1 B-12. 1250 (mg I think) calcium citrate (2 500s and 1 250). All spaced out throughout the day.<br>

If you do everything you're supposed to, you will lose weight. It's when you snack and over eat and eat the wrong things that you won't be successful in the long run. I'm not going to lie, the first week after surgery sucks. It gets better day by day. Expect to have low energy. I had a bad hospital stay, but everything since has been ok.

For dinner I made pureed rotisserie chicken breast with gravy from scratch. It was soooo good! It looked like cat food! XD It was so nice to eat real food for a change. Way better than the eggs. I think I even ate a little too much. This is the first meal where I actually felt full. I told Callie she could have my left overs since she loves gravy, but I had about half of it left, so I put it in the fridge for later. And I measured out a quarter cup. But I did put gravy on it, so that probably made the difference.

This process takes time. Thankfully it's faster than without the surgery. It's normal and healthy to have stalls. Losing weight too fast can be unhealthy. Also, pay attention to the way your clothes fit. Even if the scale doesn't budge, you may drop a size because your body is changing. I'm almost 3 weeks out and I'm starting to stall and I'm fine with it because I know it will come off eventually as long as I'm sticking to what I'm supposed to. I have always heard a real plateau last a couple months. So a week is nothing. Like I said, losing too much weight too quickly can be a bad thing. Be patient and chill out. If all else fails call your doctor and attend a support group.

I don't like eating anymore. It feels like a chore. The nutritionist was supposed to call me on Wednesday to advance me to Stage 3 but she never did. I called her and left a message yesterday but never got a call back. I probably won't get a call till Monday now. On Wednesday I advanced myself to puree. I just couldn't stand pudding, yogurt, applesauce and cream soups any longer. So I had a can of Progresso chunky chicken corn chowder pureed. It lasted me 2 and a half days I think. It went down fine and tasted good and was more substantial. Last night I hard boiled some eggs and made egg salad with 3 eggs, mayo, salt and pepper, pureed smooth. I couldn't eat my whole 2 oz. This morning I only got down between 1 and 1.5oz. I'm going to eat lunch soon. I'll have egg puree again since I haven't washed my food processor yet. [Edit]: I was able to eat my whole 2 oz for lunch. When Jess gets home we're gonna go grocery shopping. We're out of foods for him and I get to pick out some stuff to puree. I want to try chicken with gravy and Mabo Tofu.

I think it's safe to say we all feel this way before surgery. I know I did. I'm only 2 weeks out and I don't regret it. And I had a pretty bad hospital experience. No one can make this decision but you. There's a great book. The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariactric Surgery by Cynthia L. Alexander. It's worth reading.

I'm down 15.3lbs since surgery on 8/22, and 58.5lbs from my highest weight. I have been feeling like **** lately. I threw up my multi yesterday and today. Yesterday because I took it on an empty stomach. I knew it would make me feel sick but I wasn't expecting to throw up. Today I took it with about 6oz of broth and I threw it up again. I really wasn't expecting it today. Last week I was able to take my multis this way. I'm going to have to buy a different multi and try it and see if that helps. I'm also finally starting to take my carafate. I've taken it twice so far today. It seems to help a little. But I still have a general feeling of crappiness. I can't wait to move on to Stage 3. I can't wait! Hopefully on Wednesday when I have my appointment with the nutritionist, I will get to. I want to eat eggs and meat and chunky soup. Sure it will be pureed, but it will give me so much more variety. I am so tired of cream soups, pudding, and yogurt. The vein in my left hand going to my wrist still hurts. The vein is hard and sticks out. That can't be normal. I have an appointment with my PCP on Tuesday, so I'll ask her about it then. And about my incisions too. Jess nicked one of them with his nail and this milky clean liquid oozed out. I had him smell my incision to make sure it wasn't infected. Yesterday it leaked a little so now I'm wearing a regular bandaid over it. I can't think of any thing more to write, and I need to clean for tomorrow. I really hope the carafate helps me not feel so crappy. I really hate how this website sensors me! We're all adults here. Not a bunch of *******.

I had a horrible hospital experience (08/22/2011 and I don't regret doing it at all), so you may not want to read by posts about it. 99% of the people I know who have had surgery had a much better experience than I did. YOU WILL BE FINE! As far as excess skin goes, that is a completely individual thing. For me, there are certain areas I know will not shrink. And I'm mostly ok with that because my clothes will cover it. The program I'm going through won't allow you to get plastic surgery of any kind until 2 years out because our bodies keep adjusting even after we've gotten down to our goal weight. Skin takes time to adjust and shrink back. My boyfriend showed me this quote and it's made me feel a little better about excess skin: "Very comfortable in my skin. That's why I have so much extra" - Brother Ali. Who are you going through for your surgery? I'm in the bay area as well, so I'm curious.

POSSIBLE TMI - you have been warned. I slept almost all the way through the night. And then I woke up and had diarrhea. And yes, I do think that's awesome too. We went to bed around 11:30p. I had a hard time falling asleep. It shouldn't be because Jess was in the bed. I couldn't stop coughing. And since I can't get a real cough in, I couldn't dislodge whatever was stuck. After a while I figured out I could brace my 3 middle incisions by putting very light pressure on them with my hand while coughing. I also used my inhaler once and that seemed to help. I finally coughed out some icky stuff. Not a lot. Jess ran and got me a roll of tp so I could spit it out. After that it was much better. I woke up around 1 / 1:30a and I had to pee really bad. First time that's happened in a while. I took more pain meds and went back to bed, I didn't bother walking around. I slept till around 7:50a when I heard the front door close. Jess had left for work. I felt like sleeping more but I had to go to the bathroom, so I got up. I felt like I had to poop. I wasn't expecting that. In the binder it says that you probably won't poop for 5 to 6 days after surgery. Technically I am 5 days out. I just wasn't expecting it. It was fantastic! I had to brace my stomach with my hand so I could push everything out and it took a bit of effort. I'm surprised at how much came out and just the fact that anything came out at all. I wonder if it's from the broth I've been having. The last time I drank broth was years ago when I was sick. It went right through me and I haven't drank it since being post-op. I was curious if it would have this effect again. I also started taking my vitamins yesterday. I took 2 Calcet Creamy Bites. The chocolate has 4 grams of sugar and the lemon has 5 grams. So I wonder if that did it too. I'm sipping broth now and get the feeling it was the broth. Yesterday when I took my multi it made my stomach hurt. This morning I took 2 sips of broth, then the multi, then 2 more and had no pain. It takes me a good 3 minutes minimum to eat each chewable. My parents are going to stop by today. That means I have to take down my board in the kitchen and hide my meds and kaiser paperwork. My mom knows but my dad doesn't. So it'll just be like I have a weekend off for once. I feel like I'm going to get the runs again. It's gotta be the broth. I haven't had a creamy bite yet. I called the pharmacy where I live and I could barely hear the lady, but what I got was that I should refill my liquid vic when I have 2 days worth left. I'm confident that I am at that point, so I emailed my dr to refill it since calling the number on the bottle would probably refill it 45 minutes away where my surgery was and I want it sent to the pharmacy where I live. Hopefully he will email me back soon. Today I am going to walk around (and maybe dance a little too) to music after I post this. Then organize my meds. I bought an organizer at Target yesterday. I can't do much cleaning b/c I have a weight restriction for lifting. Once my mom calls saying their leaving I'll take a shower. They live about an hour away. I'm having a hard time working carafate into this. I did it 3x the day before yesterday and not at all yesterday. Well, better get on with my day. I'm sure I'll post more later. ~Liz

I managed to get some decent sleep last night. I can't say the same for Jess who just moved to the bed to get an extra hour before work. Me with 3 pillows under my upper half, one behind me supporting my lower back and one between my knees doesn't leave much room for him. Normally sleeping on the couch wouldn't bother me, but not in this condition. I got about 5 hours of sleep before waking up. I got up and I was in a lot of pain. So I took my pain meds while pacing the apartment, then went back to sleep for another 3, this time with a cold compress on my head, and now I'm up. They gave me this anti heart burn pill to take. Idk if I should take it yet or not since I'm still on liquids and not eating meals yet. It is a small pill but the thought of taking it scares me a little. What if it hurts. Ok, I took it. Here's hoping for the best. Now I wait half a hour, then I'm going to have some Jello. I need to shower. I can smell myself. I haven't showered since monday morning. Ok. So I just brushed my teeth. And my face is clean now. I'm a little worried about the body, but now that I have those two knocked out, I feel a little more confident about washing myself without getting too much water on my front. It's been about an hour since I started this entry, for reference. I'm having a Jello cup for "breakfast." Jello cups are never ending. Yesterday I had one and it felt like I was eating it forever and it was still there. I'm going to attempt to shower now. I've got my outfit picked out. Wish me luck. It's almost 2 hours from the start of this entry and I am now clean. 3.25 hrs later I am dressed, medicated, and wondering when I should take the carafate. Maybe I should start posting times. I started this entry around 8:30 this morning. It's 10:58 now. I called kaiser about the carafate. And I asked a question about it on the board for my support group. It says to take it a hour before eating or 2 - 3 hours after eating. But since I'm not technically eating, I'm not sure how to take it. I finally finished a jello cup. At noon I'll take carafate. And then at 12:45ish it will be time to medicate again. It's 2:10. I took the carafate. Took a nap. Got up, medicated. I'm having Swanson's beef broth, which is nommin, and I paid most of the bills. The guys for the flies came even though Jess called the front office and told them not to. And they're supposed to warn me if they're going to paint again. I can't remember if I wrote about it yesterday or not, I woke up from a nap around 4pm and my apartment smelled really bad like chemicals. Like paint thinner or something. It freaked me out. I was crying. I called Jess 3/4 times, no answer. I texted his mom She called me and and asked if I wanted them to come get me, I said yes. So I sat out on my patio till they came and got me. Turns out they were painting the apartment behind ours and the paint fumes were coming in from the ac. I was freaking out because I didn't know what the smell was and I didn't know if it was going to hurt me or not in my fragile just got home from surgery condition. And there was stupid in the pool, just like there is today. So that added to my freaking out. I'm going to try taking a B-12. While in the hospital I couldn't imagine taking my vitamins when I got home. I told my surgeon and he said that I could wait a week or two if I wanted. That I wouldn't get any vitamin deficiencies. I started my period at the hospital. My face is all broken out. I wish I had something to put on it. You'd think I would with all the beauty junk I have, but no. My skin is usually the least of my worries. I'm almost out of my face wash, so idk if we're gonna go to the mall tonight and get more or order it online or what. The benefit of going at getting it is that I can get a sample of stuff for my breakouts. I just texted Jess' mom and she happens to be going on base soon so she's going to check the price of Purity for me. My coworker buys hers on base, so I wonder how much cheaper it is. 3:37p It feels like this gas will be the death of me. It's like I have to encourage it to come out. Coax it. I've been trying bending down on all fours on the bed trying to get it out that way. Leaning over the couch a little seems to help too. Burping really hurts, so I'm trying to fart. When I feel like I've swallowed air I pat my chest to see if it'll come up. Usually doesn't, but it helps with the pain. 4p Now we has purity. It was 6 bucks cheaper on base. I kinda want to turn the ac on but I'm scared because the office smells a little to me. Could be my washcloth from earlier. but I don't want to chance it. My itchiness is getting closer and closer to my incisions. I wish one more of them had a bandage over it because it's so freaky looking. I want to take pictures of them. 4:23 I just took macro pictures of my stomach. The one incision that freaks me out is so gross looking! I couldn't get any good shots of the bruising on my arms from the blood thinner injections. I don't have the sensation to pee like I did in the hospital. So I've been gong every so often. I probably just have less liquids in me. 8:06p I took carafate one more time. I've been standing and pacing the apartment most of the day. I'm sitting now (but probably won't be for long) and the gas bubbles are back. Well, it's 8:30p and I going to go to bed. I'll probably wake up a few times in the night. Here's hoping it's progressively better.

I have a bit to write on the subject but I don't feel like it right now. I am finally hope after 2 days in the hospital. Still am not back to normal. Once I am I'll write more about my experience. I had a bad reaction to the pain meds. Now I'm just sipping, walking, breathing, napping. My apartment smells like paint and that makes me sad. It's the apartment ppls fault. I'm at my in laws now. They rescued me. I'll go home tonight. They have dogs that don't understand the full extent of f**k off in my condition. Now I'm going to be all over the place. Have fun. I got my eye brows threaded on sunday. Now they're all broken out. That and since I haven't washed my face since monday morning are probably culprits. I should shower tomorrow but the thought makes me nervous. My pain meds are hard to take. But they help. I sleep with a couple pillows under my head, one at my back, and one in between my legs. The gas pain is bothering me right now. It doesn't seem to want to budge. Sitting, standing, walking, nothing. It may sound weird, but weight loss is the least of my concerns right now. I want to be able to fart and to be pain free and "normal." When I drink I have no sensation of full or empty. So I try to sip every so often. I just took a small dose of my pain meds. It's easier that way. If I take a full dose it really hurts. If I split it up it seems to go down better. It's not making me feel so loopy anymore. I want to stay up until we go home so I can sleep longer than a couple hours. I've done that twice so far today. I'd like to sleep for a bit. & now I don't get anymore pain meds till 11, so I'd like to make it till then before sleep. I'll probably have the bed to myself for a while. If my boobies are down to the floor I will not ever do this again! EVAR! Ow ow ow. Idk if I would have done it in the first place if I knew it would be this bad. I don't regret doing it yet. I won't be surprised if I do somewhere along the way. I have jello, ice chips, and a sobe life water that I'm working on, that I have been since this afternoon. My teeth are pretty groady. I started my period a week early in the hospital. I'm glad my upper ear pricing didn't close up. I don't have to worry about my nose. I'll put that in later. My temp is one thing I haven't done since I've gotten home. Temp was 99. Gotta drink ice water and use my air thing. I think I'll post this now or it'll go on forever like this random babble.