Alexandra

There is never an excuse for being rude or insensitive, on journal comments or anywhere else. But since you raised this question in the R&R section, I will also say that I don't think we're necessarily "here to support each other" blindly. Please don't take me wrong--I am NOT saying that rudeness is acceptable and I'm not addressing any specific comments or posts (I have not seen those you are talking about, for example). But I don't think it fits to say that we're all about "support" here, if saying that somehow dictates what can and can't be said. This site is called LapBandTALK, not LapBandSupport. I bristle when I hear things like "you're not being supportive" because that implies that UNLESS a comment meets someone else's definition of "supportive" it's somehow unacceptable. I personally think that honesty is the best support, and it doesn't always come wrapped in pink bubblewrap. And since not everyone likes or wants honest feedback it can seem harsh even when it's not meant that way. We're all on the same road here and there's no cause at all--EVER--to attack one another. I'll wholeheartedly agree with that.

Piece of cake, Laurend. You'll knock it out of the park. (What degree IS this, anyway? I think I'll pass on this one...)

I've heard them too, but my experience has been completely different. Sure, I'm talking with Bangalore, but somehow I manage to get the right answer on only the first or second try.

I think that is the first outright negative comment I've ever seen about an Apple computer! I'm shocked! FWIW, I am a loyal Dell customer. Never bought a laptop, but I've purchased three desktops for my home and at least six for two businesses. Never had a problem that they didn't fix right away.

This thread will be closed if the personal comments do not stop. Now cut it out!!

Please remember this is NOT a debate section, ladies. MB, you look terrific!!

Congratulations, Rain!! That is such a marvelous feeling, I envy you. Before you know it your perspective will have changed so much that you can't believe you ever wore that size, much less considered it your "goal" size. Way to go!!

Depending on the state you are in, the carrier may have a statutory limit on how much time they can take to decide on a precert request. If any carrier said that to me, I'd call the state insurance department and find out what the law says. Forever. feh.

I know this to be not necessarily true, at least in my case. Unless you don't define "getting into" the same clothes as the same as having the clothes actually fit. People are often shaped very much differently than one another, even at similar weights and heights.

But "not trying" is NOT the same thing as going for a goal that someone else sets for you! We are all here because we ARE trying, in our own ways, to become healthier by losing weight. We definitely all have that in common, and we all experience joy in the benchmarks and victories that mean something to us. I'm just saying the process, and the benchmarks and victories, are very different from person to person. Whether we see it as a battle to be won or a journey to be taken, or wherever we set the "finish" line, we each put our own stamp on this project. Losing weight for me was a dream, a wish, and when it started to become reality I was thrilled. I embraced it and tried to make my new habits permanent (which did NOT work--HOLY COW I need a fill!). But I never saw it as a battle I had to fight--unless you count with my insurance company. If I saw it as a "battle" I know me--I would lose, give up, not want to do it anymore. It's just not a helpful frame of reference for me; that's why I never participate in challenges here. But not thinking of it that way didn't keep me from losing 100 lbs and living life as a thinner person, which is what I set out to do. Though I'm desperately trying not to gain right now, I know that if I started battling with myself about it that scale would be moving UP.

Kat, best wishes with your next breast-battle. Here's hoping that it's minor and easily whipped! My goodness, emotionally disconnected--that's not at all what I meant to say. I meant to say that it may be OTHER things that give people a charge rather than what gives you a charge. (I'm more of a team-player kind of person. I get really excited, for example, when something I've worked on with a group of others comes off without a hitch, such as a conference.) What gives you joy--"pushing yourself further than you ever dared to go"--just isn't something I've ever focused on, and just because I'm trying to lose weight that's not going to automatically change. Why should that make anyone think I'm selling myself short? That's what I don't get. I have no interest in winning a battle, or even engaging in one. Different strokes for different folks.

Jacqui, you're describing YOUR reactions to having achieved something you never thought could be possible. Not everyone reacts that way, even when they have achieved something extraordinary. Not everyone gets a rush from competing with themselves, challenging themselves and conquering. It's just your personality, and it's simply not shared by everyone. Is that really so hard to understand? That said, you and Chickie and Wasa and everyone else who has worked the band so beautifully are total inspirations to me. Because you make me see that whatever we consider our personal goals to be, they are achievable. That's the take-home lesson.

Hi Sharon, I completely sympathize with your needhe-phobia; I suffered for years until I got pregnant the first time. All I can say is DON'T LOOK. The fill doctor will numb the area first so after the first tiny pinprick for the anaesthesia you don't feel anything. Even though I'm used to it now, thinking too much about what they're doing can still freak me out, so I do my best to look away and think about something else entirely. Good luck!!

You may be on to something Jacqui--differences in societal standards may indeed be a factor in how people define "normal" for themselves. But it still doesn't mean that anyone's expectation or hope or goal for themselves is a topic worthy of debate. (I'm not picking on you, I'm talking in overall terms.) I have never understood why anyone would ASK, here or anywhere else, what someone's weight-loss goal is. That seems to me such an intrusive, personal question. Clearly I'm in the minority here, since it's a question that gets asked on LBT all the time, but most of the time I think it's in a general, let's-compare-stories type of way. Let's remember we're just names on a screen to one another. We know nothing about one another's physiques, lives, behaviors and all the other things that go into setting our own goals. Jacqui, I can see you were speaking in general terms above. But when the conversation seems to turn personal, feelings can run high and I can totally understand that. As far as I'm concerned, unless someone has specifically asked for advice about setting a goal, it's simply NEVER appropriate to critique anyone's personal yardstick for success.

Yep, a return of hunger means that you're healing well and postoperative swelling is going away. It is PERFECTLY NORMAL to be hungry, and many doctors say it's OK to go on to soft mushies after one week if you're really feeling the need. Two weeks on liquids is recommended, but as we all know not everyone is the same.

I don't know if there's any reason it would have to be removed, but why not play it safe--take it out yourself a day before and replace it when you're ready?

Why not have your husband have a vasectomy? It's a much less major surgery and I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble finding someone to do it. As for the band, I know a bandster who just had her tubes tied. I don't think the band was an issue at all.

OF COURSE it's a matter of personal body perception--and because of that it's not something that can be "reasoned" away! Just the other day I was at a function at my daughter's school, and as usual was looking over the other parents and feeling like the biggest person in the room. I happened to catch a glimpse of a tag sticking out of another mom's blouse--one of those moms who seems to have everything together, you know the type--and I was shocked to see it was an 18/20! A woman who looks perfectly normal to my eyes wears a larger top than I do, even now that I've gained 30 lbs from my post-band low. Holy cow! 225 may be "obese" but I don't think it's fair to say that anyone choosing to be satisfied at that weight is fooling themselves or selling themselves short. It's just a different point of view than yours. It really is entirely possible to see something we don't like in the mirror when we're at a "healthy" weight. For me, also 5'10", if I weighed 165 I'd have to have plastic surgery and I absolutely do not want to go that route anytime soon. So I have no desire to lose that much weight, even if I could do it without the Herculean effort I know it would require. Anything in the 200-210 range IS a "healthy weight" for me, considering that I started this journey at 340 and I weighed 212 at age 14.

Hi Missy, I was debanded back in April and I too am a chicken with regard to anaesthesia. I'm happy to say, though, that the surgery itself was MUCH easier than the initial banding procedure was--I was back on my feet and ready to rock almost the next day! Anaesthesia is scary but all you can do is try not to think about it. There are gazillions of people who are put under every day and accidents are extremely rare. You'll be fine!!!

Argh. I've been so busy with a new job and all that I completely spaced on having a 6-week postop checkup. So it wasn't until more than 8 weeks later that I went in, and got clearance to schedule my first fill. Then I did the phone-tag dance with the office for three days, and by the time I connected with someone it was a week later. Finally I have my fill scheduled...on NOVEMBER 29!! Argh. It will be all I can do to maintain until then, but will have to face Thanksgiving with no restriction!! Oh boy.

I just did the biggest thing for myself I could imagine--changed careers. It involves a greater time commitment away from home but I am MUCH happier for it and my husband saw the value. But I still feel guilty. Otherwise the only thing on your list I can relate to is having the house cleaned every week (although I do read all the time, before bed and on the bus). But in our case that's because we'd live in a pigsty otherwise. Reading your list makes me feel like I'm missing out on a lot--I don't do anything "for myself" and I probably should. But when? Actually, now that I think about it, THIS is what I do for myself--this site.

I'm glad to see no one picking a fight here, too! But Jachut, your statement that something is "normal" weight begs for a push-back from someone who has never known a "normal" weight. To my ears the word "normal" is loaded with the judgment that any other weight is ABnormal. Maybe it's not what someone else thinks is "perfect" but hell, I have absolutely no interest in being "normal." All the medical reports say that for overweight people even losing 10% of one's weight will improve their health. That's great! And isn't that what this is all about? For some people stating some particular goal, for some people (such as myself) doesn't help one little tiny bit. So why do it? I once posted a thread called something like "I don't set goals, I set traps" after trying and failing to meet some benchmark I'd set for myself. Clearly, it didn't work. But I don't feel like a failure as long as I don't draw lines in the sand for me not to meet. Let's agree to let everyone have their own measurements of success and not comment about the value thereof. K? (I hope it goes without saying that I 100% agree with your complaint about anyone who says that some particular number is "scrawny" or "ugly." Perhaps it would feel that way for themselves, or perhaps they're just jealous, but one thing is for sure--comments like that say a lot about the person making them, and nothing about anyone else.)

This is one of the reasons I never post a goal weight--I don't even HAVE a goal weight. Everyone has their own ideas of what "goal" means to them, and it just isn't necessarily a number. So why compare at all? Laurend, fear of failure absolutely has something to do with it. I'm all for a goal weight I can maintain, as Jackie said, and I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that unless I spend all my time thinking about my weight and working on my body I would not be able to maintain a weight of [insert number here]. I simply do not want to live my life that way, especially because it's someone else's idea of "goal" and not mine. Why on earth should I set myself up for failure just because someone has a different yardstick than I do? How about being "overweight" just because we might be happy that way?

Hi Jody from Jersey! Maybe I'll see you at the hospital on the 29th. :biggrin1:

Brandy, Blue Cross organizations vary from state to state. What state is the company you work for based in?