Alexandra

Congratulations to your MIL! What did she win? Big race?

This is an amazing gesture, but I completely agree with Wheetsin that it might be risky. Were I in your fortunate shoes, what I would do is work with my surgeon's office to pick up the tab for one of his interested patients. People come to the seminars all the time who don't have any way of paying for the surgery, but who are hoping for a miracle. The doctor's office could offer a "scholarship" and help identify the right candidate(s) with you. What a wonderful gesture!

Calling the doctor today, yep. :) :nod:

CheriCline, the 5-year history is not an uncommon requirement at all. It doesn't mean 5-year medically supervised diet attempts; all it means is that you need to show you've been obese for at least five years. Insurance carriers must use yardsticks to decide who qualifies for bariatic surgery, and that is one of them. There are so many people who are morbidly obese, the thinking is that people who have been that way longer are the ones who will most benefits from medical intervention. If you've visited any doctor in the last five years who might have made a note of your weight, call that doctor and get the notes. They're just looking for evidence of the weight, not necessarily evidence that you were trying to lose it. I called my OB/GYN and got her notes from the years in which I had my children. No discussion of weight loss, but lots of evidence of excess weight before and between pregnancies.

Hi Terri! Glkad to hear you're on the road to recovery and that your band is fine! That sounds a lot like the roller-coaster I was on back in February/March of this year. Take care of yourself and heal up! :biggrin1:

I'd like to suggest that EVERYONE take two steps back when reading posts they feel are directed at them personally, and think if it could be read as a general comment. If it can, it should be. I'm on another board where people feel they have to qualify every use of the word "you" with "(general you)" and that drives me absolutely NUTS. It's grammatically absurd and shouldn't be necessary anyway. We should just assume that unless someone is directly addressed BY NAME, all advice and commentary is GENERAL. So that's my hope. Let's start by assuming the best of other posters, and keep the discourse impersonal. Any hurt feelings are usually completely and totally unintentional on the part of the poster. That is all, carry on. :biggrin1:

Hi Bullwinkle, If you're being added to your husband's policy during open enrollment, then in general, pre-existing condition exclusions don't apply. Rules vary from state to state, but whether you're enrolled and whether they cover the surgery are really two different issues. You already have the information you need, so there doesn't seem to be a good reason to call the insurer back. Wait until you're actually ON the plan, and then call and pester them to your heart's content. I'm not saying this because they might not put you on the plan--I doubt VERY MUCH that's a decision they can make based on your health--but because until they are talking about a specific person and medical situation there is little the carrier will tell you "for sure." I'm an insurance broker and know from experience that until we're talking about some specific covered individual I won't get anywhere with a carrier rep.

Hear, hear, Morsaille!! Marriage under the law as it now stands doesn't say anything about having sex with one another. Lots of people enter into civil marriages for reasons other than romantic love or a desire to start a family. It's now available in every state as a financial/practical arrangement to adult couples of opposite sexes, and indeed should be available to adults of any sort. I truly wouldn't care a fig if three or more adults decided to enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement that involved shared resources, multiple-beneficiary insurance policies, and shared parental responsibility for minors. Why on earth not? Our society could use MORE firm family units, not fewer. It's extremely difficult for unmarried couples to approximate the protections and privileges accorded to married couples through legal constructs, although people do indeed try. But even something as simple a changing a last name can be very problematic and expensive if it's for reasons other than marriage, and it just shouldn't be that way.

I just read this excerpt from Barack Obama's new book, and it seems relevant to this discussion: The story of Abraham and Isaac offers a simple but powerful example. According to the Bible, Abraham is ordered by God to offer up his "only son, Isaac, whom you love," as a burnt offering. Without argument, Abraham takes Isaac to the mountaintop, binds him to an altar, and raises his knife, prepared to act as God has commanded. Of course, we know the happy ending--God sends down an angel to intercede at the very last minute. Abraham has passed God's test of devotion. He becomes a model of fidelity to God, and his great faith is rewarded through future generations. And yet it is fair to say that if any of us saw a 21st century Abraham raising the knife on the roof of his apartment building, we would call the police; we would wrestle him down; even if we saw him lower the knife at the last minute, we would expect the Department of Children and Family Services to take Isaac away and charge Abraham with child abuse. We would do so because God doesn't reveal Himself or His angels to all of us in a single moment. We do not hear what Abraham hears, do not see what Abraham sees, true as those experiences may be. So the best we can do is act in accordance with those things that are possible for all of us to know, understanding that a part of what we know to be true--as individuals or communities of faith--will be true for us alone. Barack Obama, The Audacity of Hope (2006) The point, LisaG and others, is that what you think GOD believes should just not have any bearing on what WE believe as a common people. Civil laws in this country are not and have never been based on "God's word" any more than they are based on Buddha's word or Satan's word, for that matter. We have found other bases for writing our laws, and one of them that's been a growing part of our foundation is the principle of nondiscrimination. Opening up the concept of civil unions to any two adults is just another step on that road, and I am confident we will take it before my children are adults.

Wow, anyone remember the Republican Congress of the late 1990s? Finger-pointing and mud-slinging was ALL they did. And as soon as GWB entered the White House, all investigating and checking-and-balancing stopped dead. :angry I really highly recommend this article for some eye-opening analysis of what's been going on in the Capitol for the last six years. And Sunta, while you're there, read THIS.

:pound: :pound: :pound: :pound:

Sunta, I am WITH YOU!! After this last thing with John Kerry sticking his foot in his mouth, it literally makes my stomach turn to hear GWB saying something to the effect that "anyone in a position to lead people should understand the power of language" -- this from the person who used the word CRUSADE back in 2001. That was the single most inflammatory word he could have chosen, and it took way too long to wipe it from his mouth. And who seems to redefine the phrase "stay the course" as suits his whim. And who doesn't care that he repeatedly mispronounces the word "nuclear" when the entire world is listening. The Dixie Chicks had it right--we should ALL be embarrassed that he comes from ANYWHERE in the U.S. It's a horrible reflection on this whole country and it will be decades before the damage is repaired. BTW, anyone read the recent Rolling Stone story by Matt Taibbi about Congress? Now that will make you want to vote!!

Wow. Things sure have changed...

Sorry, Mandy, I don't know all the technical details. Did you check your subscription settings? Maybe that stuff has been disabled for now while we're on a backup server. I honestly don't know.

Nellie, caffeine is blamed for both dehydration and increased appetite, and so it's widely held that dieters should avoid it. Also, the acid in coffee can be an irritant so if your stomach is sensitive it makes sense to avoid it. Many, many bandsters disregard the advice to avoid caffeine. I know I do.

Absolutely. The fact is that there ARE two separate arrangements in place now. Even if you have a religious ceremony, you STILL have to sign that marriage license and have it approved by the officiant. You can say "I do" in front of a cleric until you're blue in the face but if that paper ain't signed, you ain't legally married. So I honestly don't get the uproar. The idea that "marriage" is actually a legal construct that should be altered to meet our society's yardstick of nondiscrimination is just recognizing an existing reality, lifting some outdated social blinders. In this country marriage is now a legal, civil, non-religious partnership between two adults. The religious ceremony is totally optional and utterly, completely nonbinding in the eyes of the law. People getting married in the church ALSO have the civil paperwork completed.

Advanced Laparascopic has nutritionists on their staff, and behavioral specialists in the same office complex. There are separate support groups for RNY patients and bandsters, something I find absolutely crucial for support-group success. There are TWO bandster support groups each month; the second one was added due to patients' requests. This practice is nothing if not invested in your success. If you need any sort of support, medical advice, therapy, even consults with nurse practitioners and insurance specialists, they can provide it. They've been in business for more than five years specializing in bariatric surgery and really really really know their stuff.

Hunnybun's right, the server crashed. I can only assume that everything posted beyond a certain point was unrecoverable. Thank goodness Alex acted so quickly to get a backup server up and running, or the carnage could have been much worse!

It makes perfect sense to me that per-op diets would be different and post-op diets pretty much the same. Before surgery, we are all different with different health issues. Some people may have fatty livers or high blood pressure, others may have diabetes or heart issues, others may have no health issues at all beyond being morbidly obese. Pre-op diets are about preparing a specific patient for surgery, and are based on that particular person's situation as well as the surgeon's specific requirements. After surgery we ALL have one thing in common: we're healing from surgery! All band doctors prescribe some version of the post-op regimen of liquids, mushy foods, soft foods, and then solids at a few weeks out. This postop program is about HEALING, not about losing weight. These instructions are designed to give the band the best possible foundation in the body so it will be with us for a good long time to help us lose weight.

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. Jachut, I most definitely am NOT getting enough exercise. There is no way I could ever get several hours of aerobics in a week; I just don't have that kind of time. But I definitely can up what I am doing and hit the gym more regularly. What is my food trigger? Probably carbs. Having eggs for Breakfast sets me up for a good day, but if I have crackers with lunch all I can think about is what next I can munch. It's unbelievable. Maybe I'll just start with that--really trying to avoid the starchy carbs that do me in so quickly. (Interestingly, sugar doesn't seem to have the same effect.) I'm also not drinking enough. Cool weather just seems to eliminate any thirst or desire to drink Water, for some reason. I can try harder to up my Fluid intake, even if it's just herbal tea after herbal tea. Leatha, you're talking to me!! It's like I breathe a sigh of relief when I think to myself that my band won't stop me from eating the sandwich WITH bread, so go for it! Nuh-uh. I have to ALWAYS take the bread off the sandwich or out comes my food nympho (thanks for the visual, Jack!). The decision to take the bread off is the one I have to make BEFORE my id can rejoice in the fact that my band wouldn't stop it from going down. It has to be reflexive. So I'll work on these things in the meantime. And then, I'll call my doctor. :biggrin1:

You're welcome, Kathy! I don't know what it is, but my brain sometimes holds on to things I've only seen fleetingly. Something about your question just rang a bell in my head, and the name POPPED right in. I don't have any idea why that happens. Glad I could help!

The user is EricBermudez, but you're right in that the post may have been lost in the server crash. I read quickly through his posts but couldn't find the one you are looking for.

Laurend, the answers to your question vary from state to state. Generally speaking, if you get insurance through an employer's group plan, you can't be denied and pre-existing condition exclusions are limited. It's only individual policies that can be denied based on health underwriting, and regulations about that vary considerably depending on where you live. Some states have guarnateed-issue policies that must be available to anyone who's eligible, but they can be expensive. What state are you in? If you ask your question in your state forum here you may hear from someone who knows the answer where you are.

Thank you Jill, for articulating the issue so clearly. I completely agree. I will never understand the ridiculous concept that limiting legal marriage to adults of opposite sex somehow "protects" the institution.

I don't have any wonderful words of wisdom, but wanted to send you a hug. I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope it will be over soon. When I was getting divorced my ex's attorney was similarly nonresponsive; it took my getting ENGAGED to get them off the stick and get everything signed. But we weren't living together and I wasn't suffering because of it. Good luck with everything. Remember to be good to yourself and don't forget to tell your kids you love them, too. This too shall pass and you'll have your freedom. :hug: