Alexandra

Bright, I can't take credit for that remark but I do embrace it wholeheartedly. Things happen for reasons and I believe the best is always there if we look for it. I'm so jealous that you're going to Paris--it's my absolute favorite place that I've ever been! Too far from Jersey, but I'll be there in spirit on the 26th. Yay!! (Pssst: it's definitely a "best bra" event.) :)

I've heard others discuss this phenomenon but being the optimist that I am I dismissed it as not being likely to happen to me. Well, I think I was wrong. I'm 18 days out now and am just about to start incorporating solid foods into my diet. But it's a mixed blessing. Prior to this point I could cling to my doctor's post-op instructions to help me make my food decisions. Now I'm about to re-enter the world of normal people faced with normal temptations each and every waking minute. I'm frankly unnerved by the prospect of being physically unable to indulge in a large serving of anything if I feel the desire. Obviously my rational brain knows that's exactly why I got banded, and it's this precise behavior that needs to change if I am ever going to lose weight. But right now, in the early morning when I'm hungry and can't eat much, it just seems like a burden. (And we're not even going to mention the fact that the scale is still stuck at -11 lbs, where it's been for the last 10 days.) Can I have a pep talk, please?

I had the same experience. Just take it slowly, and if anything makes you uncomfortable go ahead and stop. You don't have to rush headlong into solid food at every meal; just try a little something with texture at lunch or dinner and see how it goes. You'll be fine!

Congratulations! That is a big thing. It's those little but important achievements that'll keep you going. Yay!

Theresa, what exactly do you mean by "an exclusion policy"? Were you told there was an exclusion *in* your policy? You should find your contract and read the fine print. Many insurance plans exclude treatment for obesity, but go on to say "except when medically necessary in the treatment of morbid obesity."

SQBear, every plan is different so no one can give you any specific advice. I do know that HealthNet is band-friendly, so if you qualify medically and your doctor recommends this surgery for you there is definitely a history of HealthNet covering it. Start with your PCP and discuss your weight and weightloss attempts with her. Establish your history of obesity in her records and (if you don't already have it) get a firm diagnosis of "morbid obesity." Contact your carrier and have them send you their diagnosis and qualification criteria for weight loss surgery. Once you know what Healthnet requires, you'll know what your next step is. Good luck!!

Oh, Mary, what an awkward moment! But it sounds like you got through it just fine. And what they hey--you don't know these people and who cares what they were thinking? There's nothing embarrassing about ordering broth for lunch. And what a way to follow it up! Congratulations on your great loss! Yes, I know this person at work is the one with the problem, not me. She'll get over it as the novelty of my surgery wears off, I think. All along she's been the only person I told who had any sort of negative reaction at all, and that reaction mainly centered on her thinking that surgery was the easy way out. Of course, she's slender and has probably always been so, but she attributes that slender physique to her diet and seems to think I could do the same. During one of these conversations I sort of passionately told her that she's NEVER been where I am and has no idea what I have had to deal with all my life. I think that might have been what alarmed her about my personality "change." Oh well. JC, I'm experiencing a loss of restriction at this point, too, and I know it will get worse before I get a fill. I'm using the time to enjoy eating solid food again, and working really hard on eating SLOWLY. If the scale stays where it is for the next three weeks until I can get a fill, I'll consider that a whopping success! Don't beat yourself up--we're all just at the very beginning of this process.

I haven't met many bandsters face to face, or even spoken with any who have done this. I admit to being a little mystified at this behavior, if it's done long-term. I mean, everyone goes off their own personal wagon sometimes, but that's why I had my wagon IMPLANTED!! Leo, that person has done more than just not comply--he's gone out of his way to fail. Why on earth did he have the band in the first place? Was it his idea? He clearly had no idea what he was getting into. This is the problem with statistics: people like this are included. When I used to worry about the failure rate of a certain birth control device, I always reminded myself that failure rate included the people who didn't know how to use it correctly. The figures of failure among people who did use it correctly are much, much lower. THAT'S who I'm in with, this time.

You know what? You're already a good part of the way towards overcoming the problem, Bright, by being able to recognize and talk about it. You may actually be surprised by the effect that a high-Protein regimen has on your cravings--I know I was! Are you trying that now? How is it going?

All of these things amount to gross generalizations, IMO. What no one can add to the equation is how YOU feel about your situation and what YOU believe/know you will or will not be able to do in the future. The thing about sweets is just the sort of litmus test that's very convenient for the medical/insurance community to use, because it's too much trouble to actually talk with people to explore their personal situations. Bright, you know the answer to this question. Do you think your excess weight is entirely due to your sweet tooth? Do you also overindulge on other sorts of foods? Do you think you'll be unable to resist constantly munching on nutrient-free, calorie-dense treats after being banded? Will you be compulsively motivated to seek out and consume treats in lieu of regular food? Do you do that now? Lots of thin people have a weakness for sweets. I don't believe a sweet tooth alone can be responsible for a serious weight problem. The problem for me was (and remains) knowing when *enough is enough* -- enough of ANYTHING. If being banded has the effect of showing us the difference between enough and too much, it's doing its job and will work. Whether your preferred treat is ice cream or tacos, enough will be a lot less than it was before. And THAT will result in weight loss.

I'm testing this change now, again. I knew about that time offset change and it didn't work for me yesterday. Yep! Now it works. Cool!

Hi Ally, It's hard to stay calm during this time, but try to concentrate on other things for your own sake. You definitely want to confirm that your carrier has received the request, although sometimes that's not easy to do. Who is your carrier? Good luck and keep us posted!

Yep, Lori, I think Leo's right! You've gotten to that point where the band tells you when to stop. It's working! Remember, the conventional wisdom seems to be a half-cup of food is supposed to be enough at a sitting, so if you're eating a whole cup you might be overdoing it a tad. Eat more slowly, let your brain get the message that your stomach has had enough. And watch that scale move!

Mary, I can so relate to the unpleasantness of business meals. But did you look around and check out what everyone else was eating? So many people these days are doing one food plan or another, I'll bet if you'd checked you'd have seen someone leaving their bread aside and someone else only eating vegetables. I'm sure no one noticed your yogurt/soup lunch, or at least not negatively. At my first business lunch after banding I had half a serving of black bean Soup while everyone else wolfed down deli salads, sandwiches, and chips. No one noticed except me. So how did your appointment go? Great, I hope!! My latest challenge is dealing with someone at work who is scrutinizing me a little too closely. Not my body, but my personality! It seems she used to know someone who lost a large amount of weight, and who became difficult to deal with at the same time. So now she's projecting that the same will happen to me, and is constantly characterizing remarks I make as being snippy or sarcastic. This afternoon I made a crack that we've both used in the past--a not-really-funny industry joke--and she responded by rolling her eyes and saying "You're changing!" I hate this! I feel like I'm constantly on the defensive against making remotely biting remarks. She's continually measuring everything I say, every opinion I hold against some pre-surgical standard she seems to have created for me. I've worked with this woman for two years and in the last year we've become pretty good friends. But suddenly I feel like I'm back at square one with her! I know this is her problem and if it gets much worse I'm going to have to discuss it with her. But in the meantime, I just wanted to vent and oh, you lucky people, you get to read it!

Hey Kellymoos, You have invented new symptoms--I've never heard of ear pain! But everything is possible, and presumably it's not serious and will pass. Wow--how long is it possible for gas to hang around? You'd think it would all be gone by now. I'm starting on a full menu, too. Ain't it grand? My biggest problem is adjusting my bite sizes. Grrrr!!

Just want to say good luck with your insurance request!!

That is weird! When I select GMT as my local time (which is assuredly is not) the times appear correctly. When I select the Eastern US time zone, the time loses 5 hours and becomes incorrect. Try selecting a time zone 5 hours later than where you actually are and see if that works for you.

Hi Lisa, I've never heard of there being any sort of "official" card. It seems to me that it would be completely up to each individual restaurant if they wanted to let WLS patients order off of the child's menu or pay less for a buffet. If they choose to extend that courtesy, I imagine they'd just believe someone who said they'd had weight-loss surgery.

Hey Lioness, Everyone can relate to your pain. I first discovered the band a year ago and was desperately battling my impatience for two months until I could go to a seminar. As it turns out, insurance battles kept me from banding for a full year! But I'm not sorry it took so long, in the end. You're in a great position, you lucky girl. Don't worry--the time really will fly!

Donali got it right. That black dot means you have posted in a thread. It's one of the things I love most about this format!

Yikes, Laura, that's scary! Did you change anything about your diet this week--like did you just start solids or something? If you're gagging long after your meal is finished you may be having esophageal spasms. I think slippage is characterized by actual pain, either in the stomach or esophagus. At least, that's been present in the stories I've read. A complete inability to eat or drink at all is also a sign of real trouble. Please call your doctor tomorrow and let us know what's going on. I'll be thinking of you, fellow Jersey-ite!!

Thank you so much for the replies, everyone. I really appreciate them and it's nice to know I'm not alone! Part of what's eating me (ha ha) is the fact that the band *is* working and really limiting the quantity I can take in at one time. What I used to think of as a nibble--like three grapes at the farmers market--can fill me up for an hour now. The phrase "you'll ruin your dinner" suddenly has meaning. I have never in my whole life "ruined" my dinner by pre-meal nibbling, but now I've done it every night without thinking! Donali, I've already said my mental goodbyes to AYCE buffets. I never went to them without hating myself anyway, and now that I have kids they're never worth the money. But every family has a pigout favorite and at my house it's Chinese food. I love it to distraction, but now I think it's mostly because of the quantities that are served. There was no guilt attached to eating an entire portion of whatever, even though it was really enough to feed 3 or 4 people. Now a half-cup of egg drop Soup is plenty, and I have to leave the table to keep from getting sad about what I'm missing. Kellymoos, I'm glad to hear you're on solids now! After reading your message this morning before lunch, I was inspired to try some of my daughter's McDonald's (happy-meal-size) hamburger patty. Yum! in one way, and yuck! in another. Yum because it was the first really solid food I've had, and yuck because without the bun and all the condiments usually on a large sandwich I really got to taste what the "meat" tastes like. Gads! I can guarantee I'll be sticking to salads from here on out. You make a good point about there being years and years of behavior to un-learn. In my case it's 41 years of there being only my will between me and as much food as I cared to consume, and obviously my will failed me more often than not. But having an actual, physical barrier to major indulgence is an entirely new experience. Especially when it seems like it's a barrier to even minor indulgence! I have a lot to learn... Another problem I'm anticipating is what do I do when I really have only five minutes to eat. That's going to take a major adjustment to some portions of my schedule, chiefly that I'll be eating breakfast in the car instead of before leaving the house on weekday mornings. I'm about to gag if I have to down one more Protein shake, though, and it's hard to eat cottage cheese in the car!! I know it's just a matter of giving my head time to adjust to the change I've made in my body. I'm so glad I can come here to share these feelings--there is no one in my real life who can completely understand how big a change this is. My DH is trying, he really is--but when I asked him recently to pick up cottage cheese he came back with two 32-oz containers! I think I'll be working my way through those for a month.

Oh, great. Tell my 35-lb 2-year-old that. I spent at least an hour hauling her around a crafts show today. I did avoid lifting her for the first week until my staples came out, but then she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Hi Elizabeth, 10 days probably is on the early side for trying "solid" food, but you probably haven't done yourself any damage. If you had, you'd be feeling more than tightness, I think. I've been discovering that even on mushy foods it's really easy to eat too much. My eyes and brain still think my stomach has enough room for, say, a medium ice cream when in actual fact a small is all I can handle. Yesterday I made that mistake and paid for it with a mild case of heartburn. Yuck. I'm 18 days out and am getting really sick of mushy food. I had a bite of my daughter's PB&J sandwich yesterday and it was like manna from heaven.

Hi Sparkle, Yeah, Protein powder made as instructed tastes nasty. I made my shakes in a blender and added crushed ice and/or powdered cocoa, artificial sweetener, instant coffee, vanilla yogurt, etc. Once it's all blended tastes pretty much like a milkshake if you use your imagination.