PdxMan

Of course we're cool, GMan. I love your contributions to VST. You bring needed clarity to this place. You are the hippy uncle who can right-size an issue with a few words.

I have good news for you, Recycled. The crappy food and drink period is only a few months. Everything will be back to normal in 6 months or less. Just far smaller quantities. Welcome to the board. We are a family, a disfunctional family at times, but in the end, we do love and support each other.

I was not present during any of her exchanges with her friend, so I cannot speak to that. I can only go by the words she identified. As I have pointed out, we each live by our own moral compass. It cannot be written on parchment with chicken blood and stored in a vault. I do not wish to live by your moral compass and I am positive nobody wants to live by mine. If I am not 100% honest on my resume or job application, to what degree am I guilty of lying in order to make money? Have we ever told a white lie to tip the scales in our favor to get ahead ... to get someone in bed ... what weight was on your driver's licence pre-WLS? Are all of us saints? Really? Sorry, folks. I am far from perfect. I have lied like M/F in my days. But I'm trying to make myself a better person. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. I just don't like it when other saintly folks have to drag others down. Perhaps they are dragging others down to their level or something ... don't know. I'm going to try to keep my side of the street clean. How does your side look?

Yeah, I have two flights of stairs ... no problem. Just take it easy, one step at a time and you'll be fine.

I believe I take ownership of my role HERE. But I do not call her a bully. I state that she is attempting to bully someone ... can you really disagree that in this context there is not bullying going on? Again, I take ownership of my role ...

Oh, I know ... Believe me, I love all the newbies more than anyone can know. It is the newbies that become the vets who continue to support all the other newbies. For the most part, I stay away from these threads which, as you can tell, is very polarizing. I think IAmDeborah summed it up nicely in THIS post. People who have found the "answer" want to share the good news with everyone who will listen and can't understand why everyone else wouldn't want to do it to. It reminds me of my father. He loved having children (had 6) so much he often proselytized the virtues of being a parent and would tell you to your face what a dis-service you were doing to yourself and those around you by not having children. Of course, those who choose not to have children do so for their own reasons. They have been on their own journey in life and have their own reasons for not having kids. When asked about their reproduction status, as happens constantly when couples don't have kids, are they responsible for sharing something they want to keep private? Is it wrong for them to even tell a white lie to protect their privacy? What if you overhear this conversation with your friend and you know she has fertility issues. Is it your responsiblity to tell her she is lying ... that she should share her journey because somebody else may also be suffering infertility issues and could benefit from her story? Whose job is it to determine whether this information is shared? As for myself, I don't care at this point. I do share with most folks now that I am at goal. Even when I am not asked. As I have pointed out a few times, my concern is with the person researching WLS or the freshly sleeved individual who, because of the strong nature and language of the OP, feels coerced into doing something they may not feel comfortable doing. That if they decide to keep a personal matter private, they are lying. I just don't think that is fair and is irresponsible. We have to remember, there are hundreds if not thousands of people who merely browse these forums never joining or posting. They are researching and figuring out what the procedure is all about. It is my belief they should come away from the forum knowing that it is their decision to divulge whatever information they want to whoever they want. As has been pointed out on this thread and dozens of others, many people believe saying "reduced portion sizes (carbs ... whatever) and exercise" is not lying. I agree. The OP has said I (or others) have put words in her mouth or twisted them. I have been quoting her postings, so I don't know how I could have done that, but ... That is fine. It seems she has softened her tune, which I appreciate. GMan, you know I love you, but I, too, must disagree with your disagreement that this is not a form of bullying. Per wiki, bullying is: the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. Calling someone a liar is coercion to change their behavior. So, in about two more weeks, this topic will be posted again. Perhaps I will be smart enough to avoid this serenity trap.

I've heard miralax works ... I didn't find MOM that bad ... they have different flavors, too ...

Yay! I know. It is amazing to start noticing all the different places where we lose weight. Congrats. This is the first of many more to come.

Oye ... let me spell it out for you ... Go back and re-read the thread ... you are bullying the new person and the person researching WLS into thinking they are required to share their procedure if they are asked. If they don't they could end up like your friend. IMO, you are attempting to bully people into doing something they may not want to do by not respecting how she has chosen to to deal with others regarding this issue. I'm sure there are aspects of my decisions in my life you would find objectionable and there are decisions in your life I would find objectionable. Love and tolerance is what I would want from you as my friend. I promise to love and be tolerant of you and your life's choices whether or not you are tolerant of mine. ** hugs **

Well, as one of the earliest people to have joined this forum on this thread, I'm guessing I am lumped into being one of the "vets" attacking the "newbies", and you would be correct. I will take ownership of that. Sorry ... it is just my opinion that some newbies just post some of the most remarkable things. This thread being a perfect example. That is not true. She straight out says if you do not tell people you had the surgery, then you are a liar. I really take exception to that. I don't think people should be bullied into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. Most morbidly obese people have been bullied in their lives and to be told they are handling their personal lives incorrectly is just wrong. Here is one of my greatest fears when people post something like this. Someone who has been researching WLS reads a thread like this. They have been shamed by their obesity their entire life. They have circumstances in their life which make them feel uncomfortable sharing this decision with others and now they are being shamed for not telling people. This all compounds to the point where they decide they would rather live with the shame of being overweight than live with the shame this thread implies by having WLS. I just find threads like this very irresponsible. I would think the last place I would be shamed about my WLS is a WLS support forum. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I would love to see this whole thread deleted. What would the new person researching WLS think ...

My first lunch with workers was at about 3 weeks post op. I ordered a cup of Soup. After I ordered, I excused myself to the bathroom and asked the waitress to have the soup pureed. The person next to me asked if that was all I was going to eat and I just responded that I was having dinner with my wife and didn't want to spoil it. Since then, I have been out several times and always ask for a to-go box when my food arrives. If asked, I comment that I am just trying to reduce my portion sizes and eat less. Usually a couple others agree that we all should try eating less and will join me in getting a to-go box prior to eating.

I was given something intravenously which held me fine, but if you are prone to having nausea with meds or anesthesia, I have heard the patches are a godsend.

All you have to say is, "Wow, this is really a personal issue. If you really are concerned about her, you really need to discuss this with her." It is not your business, so don't make it your business.

When I am asked how I did it and I say I eat smaller portion sizes and exercise more, that is a lie by your moral standards ... right? So, if your friend does not live by your moral compass, then she is somehow less of a person? Tell me, are you ready to live by my moral compass? How about the drug-dealing child pornographer? Could you live by the moral compass of a hasidic jew? Why do you get to set what constitutes a lie for your friend or anyone else here?

Welcome! Just remember to listen to your body and take it slow. Be sure to get your walking in, too. It will help you feel better.

Oh, for everyone who is going to climb all over me and send me PMs saying I should be more supportive to the newbies, maybe I can suggest the newbies be more supportive of everyone else.

So ... you are concerned about what another person says and thinks about someone who has had a surgery and has chosen to keep the details private? And even though they divulged they have changed their diet and exercise more, you are still calling them a lier ... right? I hope one day you can find it in your heart to be more supportive of your fellow WLS folks. You traveled your journey and they have traveled theirs. I have been judged my entire life regarding my weight and my ability/inability to control it. Now that I have done something about it, I am still being judged. Talk about the definition of not winning for losing ... I can't even do that right ... Is that what you are saying? Thanks for the support, BTW ... How about you keep your side of the street clean and I'll worry about mine? Deal?

It tells me your stomach can't handle 3 oz. Cut it back to 2 oz for awhile and eat more often.

I couldn't agree more. I think in one of the other threads along this line I posted a similar thought. Really ... everyone is not standing at the Water cooler talking about you. It is all in your head. It really isn't all about you. Really ... I mean it ... it's not ... And if you really think it is, then it tells me that you are the kind of person who goes to the water cooler to talk about everyone else. You are projecting your own issues onto everyone else. If you got this sleeve to get a new life, then get one ...

Remember, what goes in, must come out. Your whole digestive system has just dramatically changed. Did you really have the expectation that wasn't going to be altered for awhile? 6 days out ... start taking Milk of Magnesia. Every day. Don't stop once things start moving. Continue for a week. The fun aint over yet ...

Wow ... this topic ... again ... Outside of the 3rd week stall thread, this has to be one of the most oft discussed thing here. HERE is the last one if anyone cares to read some history. I don't understand why people, both sleeved and those not sleeved, can't understand why this is a personal decision and if I choose to keep it personal, that is my choice. Please respect that. I don't directly lie to people about it, telling people I do Water aerobics or something, but for the most part, I tell them I have decreased my portion sizes and exercise more. All of which is true. I started out having a similar attitude as the OP, but after being knocked down a couple times, I was like, "What business is it of theirs anyway?" If I noticed a woman's bust line being different, would I ask them if they had a reduction or enhancement? Why am I obligated to divulge my life? As I have posted on this topic numerous times, I will copy and paste my theory on this: It's like we are supposed to have some obligation to society about our lives. As I explained in another thread along this very topic, I: Didn't tell anyone I was having a vasectomy to help me control my family size Didn't tell anyone I had lasik surgery to help me control my eyesight Didn't tell anyone I had hemorrhoidectomy to help my ... well, ya know ... Why do I have to tell them my life story? This is my life, gosh darn it!

I had outpatient in Las Vegas (baby!), so I started walking after a 4 hour nap all around the casino floors. The next day, I'm sure I got no less than 5 miles in walking around MGM, Venetian, Paris and all over downtown. The day after was the same thing. I just walked as often as I could. I don't think it is possible to walk too much. I know it helped my recovery.

If you use a web browser, not from a mobile device, you can easily use the search bar to find a member and send them a message. HERE is a link to send her a message. From her profile, you can find all of her threads she has started by selecting Topics over on the left panel, or any posts she has made on any thread. (select Find Content in the upper right) The mobil app is nice, but a bit limited (more likely my ability to use the mobile app is limited), but the web version is rich with features.

Many of us were denied here. I don't know an exact percentage of those who were covered by insurance, but I'm guessing the number might suprise you. Those who were denied either appealed or even after appealing, chose the self-pay route. I was self-pay and have easily offset the costs of my surgery by the savings in medical expenses and food. There are options in Mexico for around $5K and I had mine done in the US for just over $10K. It can be done.

Very Cool! We need a Portland Sleeve Support group, I think. I believe tonight there is a WLS support group out at Legacy that I think I might go to tonight. 6:30 - 8:00 I don't know, maybe. Congrats on making it to the other side!