PdxMan

This is not a thread about whether your surgery should be kept secret or not, but rather someone who was trusted betraying that trust. Let's not get off topic. I agree with RJ, my guess is they are one of those folks who think surgery is the "easy way out" and are resenting you making improvements in your life while they continue languishing in their doldrums. I would pity them and let them know they betrayed your confidence. Don't tell them you were angry, upset or anything. That may have been their intention and you don't want to let them know they accomplished their goal. Just let them know you were disappointed in them. This was something which you wanted to reveal on your own terms, not theirs.

Well, IMO, you have found a pretty good one right here at BariatricPal. This is the place I have used for almost 3 years for advice and support. Your profile says you went to Dr Cernero and I see he is in Sherman, TX, which appears to be a relatively small town of about 40,000 people. I'm guessing you are not going to have an established WLS support group there. Here in Portland, OR, a metropolis over 2 million people, we have only two groups that I have been able to find and they only meet once a month. Not nearly the kind of support I need. But if you really want something local, perhaps this is something you can start up yourself. Talk to Dr Sherman's staff about contacting other WLS patients to start up a group. I think you may find quite a few of them are in the same boat as you. You can probably use a meeting room at the hospital for no charge. You can make it happen and help support other WLS folks in your community. That alone can help you in ways you cannot imagine. I would also suggest this forum, though, as there is a membership numbering in the thousands who have experience in just about every facet of the WLS journey. Read the different forums, use the search functionality and as you have done here, post questions. Find out what other people are doing for support. I know there are groups over on Facebook as well as MyFitnessPal. There are also private groups here, too, so check them out as well. As for your stall, your research here will reveal that what you are experiencing is quite common. My advice for you in this area is to know these stalls will happen. It is a necessary part of the journey as your body begins to change and accommodate the drastic difference in calories it is now taking in versus your pre-op intake. I would also question your definition of a stall. Is a stall defined by not losing weight or losing fat? Are your clothes fitting any looser? How often are you weighing? Are you making yourself crazy by weighing every day and having an unrealistic expectation that the number should be lower EVERY day? It just doesn't work that way, so if that is your expectation, change that now. Expectations are just future resentments, so do yourself a favor and ditch the scale. It measures weight, not fat and I was always looking to lose fat. After reading a post from someone who was upset that, when weighing herself in the afternoon, she had gained 0.3 pounds from that morning. She was going on about how she knew she would fail and was ready to throw the towel in. I knew I had the capacity for that kind of thinking so I resolved to weigh once a month. Doing this, I never saw stalls and was always encouraged. As you said, everyone else can tell you are losing. I know it is difficult to see it yourself. I don't have any advice on that as self image is something I still struggle with. This is a crazy journey, for sure, and there is no reason to go through it alone. Good luck and keep learning!

Here is an interesting article about caffeine and it's effects. The section on Gastritis applies to WLS folks, so you may want to wait a bit before hitting the coffee, tea or other caffeinated beverages. http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/five-scariest-things-caffeine-does-body-215400917.html

I see so many posts from folks lately upset or frustrated regarding how people regard them now. The general theme is, "Why am I being treated differently? I am still the same person I was before I lost the weight!!" Well, I am NOT the same person I was. Not just now, two and half years post op, but also when I started to get noticed. Yes, I had these feelings, too, early out. I understand. At first I was delighted when a woman I passed on the street smiled at me and said, "Hello". But then I questioned why this never occurred to me pre-sleeve, but as time passed, I understood that I do carry myself differently. I walk with my head held a little higher and I have a smile on my face more often. I have more confidence and perhaps a bit of a swagger in my life. I am different. IMO, I don't think it is fair to chastise other people for treating us perhaps a little differently when, in fact, we have changed. Not just below the ears, but in between them, too. Yes, there are weight discrimination issues out there, there is no doubt. And it sucks, big time. I don't know the solution to solving that issue, but to be upset at people for no longer treating me like I was morbidly obese just messes with my mind in an unhealthy way. So, to the veterans out there ... I know your weight has changed, but have you also changed between the ears?

I felt the same way early out. I was frightened to progress. I was told that whatever size bite I was currently taking, to cut it in half. Chew ridiculously well and wait longer than I want to before attempting another bite. Also, if I was eating 4 bites before getting the pain, then next time, just eat 3, not matter how I felt. It is a process of re-teaching our bodies and our minds how to eat for our new stomachs. Just remember that you just can't do it the way you used to. Don't even try.

Congrats! I would recommend staying away from second hand smoke as well. As I understand it, even that can be detected. Start drinking Water like a crazy person to get your system flushed. Make sure your pee is clear. My guess is you would be clear in a few days.

In the Pacific Northwest, we have seen just the opposite. It has been the driest and warmest winter I have ever experienced here. And wouldn't you know it, I bought ski passes for my family and the snow depth is at record lows. Went skiing Saturday and it was spring-like skiing without a coat or gloves. Icy slopes and many closed runs. COME ON COLD, RAINY WEATHER!! (I can't believe I just wished for that ...)

I'm guessing researching the GoogleVerse will be your best bet. But I just have to ask ... Have you sat back and read your post? I'm not judging, as I am an ex-smoker myself, so I understand the draw, but to boil it down, your post reads like, "How long can I continue this bad behavior and still get away with it?" I can only guess you are looking to get sleeved so you can be healthier, right? Let's start now.

Welcome to BariatricPal. Pretty much everyone here has, at one time, been in your shoes. There is no need for embarrassment or shame when you ask for help. Please make yourself at home here. You are amongst friends.

I just think this is one of those things we are just used to doing. When I was on the Adkins diet and lost a ton of weight, I kept all of my fat clothes because I knew, just like on the Slim Fast diet I did years earlier, I would be needing those clothes again. And I did I had to do a cleaning out of the closet, too, this past summer. I got rid of everything that doesn't currently fit and I felt so worried doing it. My tighty-whities (not so tighty) were the last things to go.

This is why I chose VSG. I was 45 when I had my surgery with two kids under 10. Like you, I had been successful with diets in the past, but I was not successful in maintaining that lifestyle. The restriction the sleeve gives me provides a constant reminder of what I need to do. Remember those other programs where you had the rubber band around your wrist and you snapped yourself any time you had a craving? It is WAAAAY better than that

One of the things to remember is the chest does provide the resonance for the deeper, richer tones. Let me Google this ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocal_resonation So, depending on the thickness of your chest currently and how much weight you have to lose, you may find your deeper tones are not quite as 'beefy'.

Have you ever gone searching for reviews for a product and it seems all you find are negative reviews? "I bought this knife and after a month, it can't slice a tomato!!" Though some folks do take the time to write good reviews, it seems the negative really stand out. I think this is true here, too. You are not going to find a lot of videos out there on YouTube from folks several years out posting about how everything is going along just fine. I don't believe it is because they don't exist, but rather, these people have moved on with their lives. I am just over two and half years out. I reached my goal weight 8 months post op and have been maintaining since. I have a 5 pound "bounce" range that I am comfortable with. So, to address some of your concerns directly ... the Vitamin thing ... I haven't really heard of this complaint. The regain can happen, but let's talk about that for a second. Why was I morbidly obese to begin with? I abused food. I used food as a crutch and a reward. I loved the feeling of being full and wanted to feel that way all the time. I did not eat to nourish my body's needs, but rather my demon's in my head. So, if I don't do some work on myself, is this type of thinking going to change post-surgery? If two years post op I use food as my coping mechanism, am I going to regain? I think we all know the answer to this. But here is my take on this. The sleeve folks I follow have made a choice to be healthier in their lives. They take their Vitamins because they know their body needs them. A lot of them also exercise. Wow! Just like people with normal BMI's do who never had WLS surgery. *** DISCLAIMER *** I know FAR more people who haven't had WLS surgery who also take vitamins. They exercise and don't use food as a coping mechanism. So, what is my point? You said it ... it is a tool. My sleeve has forced me to recognize my pattern of abusing food. It has helped me develop new habits of eating slower, taking smaller bites and nourishing my body with food. Self-sabotage is nothing new to me. If I choose to ignore everything I have learned over the past 2 and half years, then yes, I can regain. If I didn't want to make a fundamental change with my relationship with food, then I would take a deeper look at whether WLS was for me. I believe THIS is the question everyone pre-op needs to ask themselves and take the time to get honest with themselves before answering.

I'm going to move this over to the powder Room. It is an oft asked and answered question.

My doc said as long as I felt up to it, but just don't try any circus acts. 4 days post op, here.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you, RJ, but your story may not be as unique as you think. I highly doubt you are the only one who has discovered those closest to us have turned. I have often heard it said we are hurt the most by the ones closest to us. I think your story carries a great message to anyone else experiencing the same thing. But now you have to make a choice. Do you continue to let these people live rent free in your head or do you evict the poison they have spread into your life. Do you want to live in their ideals or move on with the new you? Years ago when I got sober, I had to abandon my entire circle of friends and acquaintances as they were poison to my very existence. It wasn't easy and I mourned the loss, but soon, I was able to learn how much these people where keeping me down. Only then was I able to be truly free from that old life. Keep the post. I understand where you husband is coming from, but he has not traveled this path. We never know how or where our story is going to benefit someone else.

Early out, as the OP hasn't even been sleeved yet, it didn't take much for me to feel like I was getting my butt kicked. I would run/walk a mile and would feel it the rest of the day, but my heart rate never rose above 130. I was in terrible shape. Yes, after some time, as my endurance and fitness increased, I was able to exercise at a higher level. I started running races and even won several in my division. My last race I won for my division was a 10K where I averaged a 7 minute mile. My heart rate stayed well above in the aerobic/V02 range, but half an hour later, I felt great. Didn't feel like my butt was kicked at all. But early out, some folks getting back into exercise get on the elliptical and go through the motions. Not sustaining an effort which reaps the benefits they possibly could if they were willing to get their butt kicked a little. That was my point.

I did try the Vitamin E thing. I bought the liquid gel caps and broke them open as it is much cheaper to go that route, but I ended up staining one of my favorite shirts So, the stuff I pointed out earlier seemed to work for me ... or maybe I am just not a scar-er.

I hope you don't think I was calling you cynical. This is more how I regard other people's motivations as to how they treated me, or more, my perception of it. For me, resentments are born from my own expectations of others. When people don't meet up to the expectations I set for them, the ugly head of resentment begins to fester in my heart. I treat people nicely, so why can I not expect the same in return? For some people, it just isn't in them. This is not my fault nor is it my fault to have chosen this person to be in my life. What I can take ownership of, though, is that perhaps I set an expectation which that person just doesn't have the capability to meet. For that, I must take responsibility for and learn going forward lest I sow the seeds for another resentment.

Thank you for taking the time to post your answer. This is what I am looking for. We all have different experiences and journeys. My expectations and my reality has been two completely different things as it relates to my sleeved life. I wasn't ready for how people would react to me nor was I ready for how I would react. These changes definitely happened quicker than I was ready for, but time and reflection on myself has shown me a lot of things. I can accept myself now as an imperfect being. This also means I need to accept others as imperfect beings. As long as I have willingness to continually do the next right thing, doors seem to fly open. When I have a cynical view of life, doors seem to be stuck.

Sure thing, Sarah, Here's the thing. I trust you have heard or read about the general guidelines for restrictive sleeve success, but here is my summary: Do not drink 15 minutes before, during or 15 minutes after eating. Ensure my meals are nutritionally balanced. Take smaller bites, chewing well putting my utensil down in between bites. Assess how that bite felt waiting to take the next bite. If I am feeling the smallest amount of restriction, I stop eating, even if I have had only one bite. Exercise. Do something to get my heart rate up to my target heart range for fat burning. I should feel like I just got my butt kicked afterward. Sweat is required. Meet my Protein and liquid goals daily. Take my Vitamins. Meditate. Reflect on why I abused food and what can I do to break the cycle. Now, this is all good and well, for me. But, I started a running regimen and quickly discovered I was not going to be able to meet my exercise goals following this path. I needed more calories as I could only run about 2 miles before I bonked. I had to bend the guidelines I listed above to get more calories in. I ate more often and would break the drinking guideline. I was able to consume more food and get upwards of 3,000 calories in a day. But, you have to also consider I was running over 30 miles a week and doing HIIT twice a week. So, if you have a honest reason to bend the guidelines, then you can and increase your calories. Now, I am not nearly as active as I have had a couple back surgeries and have been struggling to get back active. So, now, I follow the guidelines and consume about 1,800 calories and maintain.

My hair loss started at the 6 month mark. It went on for about 4 months and I lost about 50% of my hair, I would say. Before loss started, I was hitting my Protein and liquid goals, consuming about 1,000 to 1,500 calories (except for the first two months) and taking my Vitamins and Biotin religiously. I have very thick hair and decided to just shave it when it started falling out, as you can see from my "after" photo in my gallery. I have it grown out long now (two and half years post-op) and is full. (though quite gray ... )

Pre-sleeve, I had the chew-your-arm-off kind of hunger every few hours. Now, it is a more subtle message, rather than the 1,000 pound gorilla that used to scream in my ears to eat. Before, I was compelled to eat, but now, it is more of a nudge and I have the choice whether to eat. Before, my demons didn't give me the choice. It was an overwhelming urge. For me, I think trying to focus on nutritionally balanced meals helps keep that gorilla at bay.

I was told whenever I felt up to it. Just no swinging from the trapeze or circus acts. 4 days for me. No problem. It was actually quite nice as it was very slow and sensuous.