NWgirl

Today I did something I haven't been able to for years. I ran. Actually ran TWO MILES, It wasn't fast by any account. In fact- it was more then double the time it took me to run the same distant in high school-28 minutes. I also twice as old.
 
I loved to run in high school. It was my ME time. I felt free and happy when I ran. I was a track and cross country star. Captain, MVP, All County, all conference,all state blah blah blah. I lived to run- I ran 6 days a week over 35 miles a week on average. From 7th grade thru high school,part of college. BUT that was over 25 years ago and I was 17. After college, marriage and three kids, and doubling my high school weight running wasn't so good or happy. I tried to run after my kids and it hurt my knees way too much. I had gain too much weight and it put too much pressure on my knees. There I was too fat to run, without causing more health problems. I was depressed when i got on the treadmill and could only run for a few seconds before my knees hurt, so stopped trying. My kids found this box of running trophes, metals and awards in basement. They wanted to know who's they were. They were very surprised when I told them they were mine. In fact they didn't believe me until they read the engraved awards.
 
So after losing almost 65 pounds, I decided to try it again. Ok I didn't really decide, as in ok I going to go run now. I actually just went up to the track to walk, put on the IndigoGirls and U2 in my iPhone ,and started to move. Music was too up beat to just walk so i started to run, and started my timer for a baseline. I really didn't think i would make it around the curve let alone a full loop on track. But... My knees didn't hurt. So after the first lap, I was like, wow, let see if I can do it again. I walked half a lap between the first mile and the second. I was tired and sweaty and had a cramp in my side when i was done, but I ran it. and then walk another 1/2 mile after to cool down. I may be a bit sore tommorrow, but I enjoyed myself, and it felt good to know I could do it. I have been doing Dance party with kids and walking, swimming and stuff. But this was the first time I tried to run.
 
 
Last time I ran- it was the Marine Corp Marathon 14 years ago- and that was the first race i had run since college 5 years prior, I did it in over 5 1/2 hours, When I finished the race, I was glad i did it but set a new goal of doing it again only in under 5 hours before I turned 50. I was about 175 pounds at the time( 20 pounds lighter then now). I remember going to the store to get a new running bra, I was a 38DD, size 16 ish, at time and I hear the women behind me snicker when I was talking about running the marathon with saleswoman. " she's running a marathon?,haha, how, why" pissed me off big time. So I turn and told her, "Yes, I am. I put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going,because I can."
 
So it was good realize today that I can do it. I it was a good feeling running again. Only 8 more years til I turn 50. I guess I need to start get myself marathon ready. Baby steps. First you walk, then you run, then you run a litle bit longer...it not out of reach.

I had my aftercare appointment today and I broke the 180 mark. FINALLY! I weighed in at 178.2 today. After talking to the NP we decided not to do a fill. She stated "You have lost more than 66% of your body mass and we except 50% at the one year mark." She also stated "You have lost a great deal already now you are just going to have to change things up." So we decide to change up my exercise routines and see if a see better results in the weeks to come. I do see my doctor next week and I'm going to see what he has to say and move on from there.
 
I feel so much better after my visit today and I am thankful I am still losing!

I have a date, June 20th. That is three weeks from tomorrow...this is really happening.

What an awesome couple of days I have had! First< i cut about 5 inches off of my hair and got some nice light blonde highlights. I think it has really changed my face and has given me a boost. Second, I am down another few pounds to make 27lbs lost! And my biggest achievement is that I finally went to Old Navy for some new jeans. I went in and grabbed the biggest size they carry, a 20. In Lane Bryant I had been a 22/24 so I was a little nervous about the 20's but I tried them on anyway. They Fit!! Plus I got some really cute tops to make some nice new summer outfits. Well I get home and put the pants on and notice they are a little loose! I can pull them off without unbuttoning them. Holy Cow. The thought never entered my head to try on an 18 but that is what I need now.
 
Such a different mind set this is. I used to be so happy when something fit I never would have thought about going smaller. Another added bonus is that Lane Bryant can be pricey and all of my stuff from Old Navy was wayyyyy cheaper! So, new hair and new smaller clothes to go with the new me. Yeah, I could get used to this.

I have been going up and down a few pounds. It is like mental torture. I did drop 8pounds in 7 days but the reason was I have pneumonia, so that doesn't count. Now it is TOM and the water weights here! Well at least I got to see that number and boy it felt great. It has inspired me to dig in, because although I saw the number because I was sick, I now know that it's there....really....strange when you step on the scale and see a number you haven't seen in 15 years! Keep trudging along until I get there. Can't wait til ONEderland!!! There is going be a party!

Day 10. I had my first follow up appointment yesterday and they said I can incorporate pureed stuff and other foods when I feel that I can handle them. Which is good because I could only do two days of cream soup before I realized that I pretty much hate soup. Especially cream soup. But I did have a tomato parmesean bisque that didn't suck. I rarely, if ever, want soup. Most of the soup I've ever consumed in my life has been convenience soup (soup that was already made for dinner). I had some oatmeal yesterday and white fish today. I ate way less than I thought I would eat. Normally, I'd have eaten the whole piece but I only ate about 1/3 of it and was full. Which was cool. It's interesting to eat like a "normal" person as opposed to eating everything that isn't nailed down. I wonder if it's possible to have forgotten what feeling "full" feels like? I think it is.
 
I got my clearance to go back to work on Monday, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I'm bored as hell being off. I watched Season 3 of Full House today. The whole damn thing. On the other hand, I sorta hate the monotony of my job and have NOT missed being in a place where I think people take the rhetorical question "how stupid can you be?" as a challenge. But sitting on my ass watching Full House reruns doesn't pay well or have health insurance, so I guess I have to go back to work. I'd like to win the lottery, but it's a Catch-22, because you can't win if you don't play and I can't justify buying lottery tickets. I'm a terrible gambler. I lose interest in being in a casino after like 20 minutes.
 
Yeah...I don't know where I was going with that.
 
Anyway, I feel pretty good. Incisions are still a little sore, but it's not to the point where it's an unbearable pain. They said that there was no problem with the one steristrip falling off and that covering it with a band aid was fine. Healing's going well, which is a relief. You always read about horrible complications and when they don't happen, you feel relieved that your life didn't turn into an episode of House, M.D.
 
I don't really have anything interesting to write about, so I'll just stop with the rambling now...

Im coming to a place I've seen before- I am within view of 200(currently 212). This seems to be one of my biggest hurdles. I've been working really hard at the gym since last Feb, when I started a 3 day a week "Team WeightlossTraining" which includes a half hour of nutrition a week. Last week I completed another Triathlon. Right now activity isn't a problem.
I sucked it up, made an appoingment and dragged a very supportive friend to the band Dr. in Feburary and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I've been back twice since(2 fills) and have had a barium swallow to make sure the band/pouch was in good shape. The band is holding up its end of the bargin.
 
Im scared shitless that something will come along and derail me again.
 
Im glad I had the courage to write this blog in the first place, rereading some of the old entries was hard but I've also learned alot about myself.
 
Peace
A

I am really really glad I found a post to share my lap-band surgery experience. I thought about creating a personal blog, but felt it would lack the support from other lap-band patients. So here goes everything:
I had my surgery on 10/31/2011. Halloween. Barely had time to grab halloween costumes for my boys-who have been super supportive of mommies post surgery needs-as supportive as 7 and 9 years olds can be:) Surgery went great, post 3-4 days was as painful as abdominal surgery is expcted to be and by day 6-7, I was feeling much much better. I took a three week leave from work which was great to get rest, adjust to the eating routine and just be stress-free to truly focus on recovering.
I hated being on the liquid diet for what...4 weeks? That was hard as hell. But by my 3 week appt I had dropped 11 pounds.
 
I started at 256lbs. Im currently at 239 which is a little frustrating for me. But I defintely notice what many weightloss surgery folks notice....my clothes are all big. I was wearing an 18-20 pre surgery and purchased my first size 14 pants a couple of weeks ago. All of my old pants, whether jeans or dress pants, are big on me. I'm wearing my old bra's and buying size large sweats versus extra large. So I'm not too concerned about the scale, but it's frustrating and that's maybe because 256 and even at 239, it's the heaviest I have ever been.
 
I've had one fill and can't recall how many cc's I received, but I have another fill coming on 4/25/2012-which will be 4 months after my last fill.
 
I can certainly feel the restriction. But I do get hungry in between. Now I have a hard time eating the following foods (which is not a bad thing): rice, bread, eggs, pasta, and grilled chicken unless it's extremely tender. Can't eat fast even if I want too! It will come right back up and keeps me in constant control of how I eat which is fantastic. I buy less groceries, I order less when I go out. If I do eat too fast, the pain is a good reminder to not do it again.
 
I was advised during my last nutrion visit to not count calories. They want to know how I do and how I feel just by eating and go about my daily routine. So that's what I've been doing. One constant that I still deal with? Finding time to exercise! The size of my stomach changed (the little band anyway), but my normal every day schedule has not!
 
I'm determined to make this work for me and again, I can physically see that results are possible so I'm not giving up my fight to use this tool I've been given. Especially since the post surgery pain is still fresh in my mind:)

Well, it's 5:15 am. I am leaving for surgery in about 10 minutes. So very nervous right now and glad I am going in early. Surgery is scheduled for 7:30!

On thursday last, I went to the doctor to weigh in and get a fill. Last appointment weight was 232. NOW I'M DOWN 5 LBS! (227). Let me say it feels so good to be in the 220's. I haven't been this thin in two whole years! I'm down a total of about 30 lbs in 4 months since my pre-op diet. I no longer look like I'm 6 months pregnant or hiding a watermelon under my shirt. lol. I feel like I can get dressed without feeling like it's a chore to find something to hide my form; that is such a weight off my shoulders (literally). And, I feel like I can look strangers in the eye now instead of praying i'm invisisble to the world.
 
In other news, my doctor decided to only give me .5 cc's as a fill because I am getting stuck on certain things. (This brings me to a total of 3.5 cc's in my 14 cc band. I'm getting stuck on certain things, yet I feel like I am still way in the yellow zone. I don't make a practice of eating too much, but sometimes it doesn't feel like the band is cutting the quantity of food as much as it could be. I know some people on the forums/blogs that get full after a couple of bits, and that's definitely not my personal experience. I think the band helps me to eat less a little, but most of it's me choosing to eat less; either way i'm not getting full until i have a cup of food. I hope my doctor will give me a fill next time too. 3.5 cc's does not seem like a lot of fluid and I think maybe a bigger fill would help with speeding up the weight loss; just a thought.
 
To make all this possible I have been working out like crazy; i spend about 2 hrs at the gym everyday. Now that I'm lighter I can exercise even more than I was before and push myself harder. For me weight loss isn't possible without exercise because I haven't conquered all my bad eating habits yet; i need to burn upwards of 1,000 cal at the gym or I wouldn't make progress. Here's to sticking it out and doing my best everyday! Good luck to everyone else on their journey and "may the odds be ever in your favor" as they say in the Hunger Games.

So 2 more weeks untill my seminar!! I am so excited i cant stand it... Just want to get all the information that i can get about the band and everything that goes with it:)

Well here it is one week from the day my life will change forever and a new healthy approach. This has indeed been a journey and learning about what is ahead makes it so much better. I am so grateful to God for allowing me to have a new life and just enjoy fullness. Thank you for everyone who is reading this for you have been a motivational tool like no other.