Hi Kimmi,
You have no idea how relieved I am to read your post. I am so new at this that this is my 1st reply to a post. I just met my surgeon and nutritionist on 5/23/11. The 1st of 6 monthly meetings required for my insurance company.
Your fears are my fears. I am nothing if not inconsistant. I have been on dozens of diets and lost and regained hundreds of pounds. On most diets I would lose 30-50 pounds. I am 6'2", 355lbs and a BMI of 45.6. Because I was an athlete everyone always told me that I carried my weight well. I believed them. I felt ok. Even when I developed diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, back and joint pain and failing kidneys, it did not make me feel that bad The mirror even lied because I never thought I looked that bad in the mirror.
So what has changed? This past year has been miserable. Last August I met an old Navy buddy and we went out to Celebrate. You know, 24oz steak, 1lb baked potato, creamed spinach, martinis, scotch, beer, dessert. Delicious!! Three days later I had a Gout attack that put me on crutches on and off for 4 months. Even taking a tubful of pills daily was not enough to turn me around. Then someone gave me a picture of myself recently. I was stunned. Cameras don't lie. I am a true believer now. I will make this work no matter what it takes.
I guess my point is, don't wait until your body starts to fail you before you take some action. I know I will need support on this journey which is why you are here as well. Let's help each other.
Roger