I've been thinking recently about the issue of who to tell about the surgery (I'm scheduled for June 21).
I know there are a ton (probably most) of people here who just told one or two or a handful of people, if anyone at all. But I'm curious if there are people here who went beyond that but actually were wide open about what they were doing with anyone who asked, bringing it up themselves, even, and perhaps went to the point of publicly blogging about it and what-have-you.
A little back-story: My wife was banded about 6 years ago, not long after we met, and only told a handful of people such as her parents, brother, and a close friend or two (apparently her willingness share with me was a big point of "oh my God, I really trust this guy!" for her). There are several friends who, I'm sure, have some idea that she had some sort of bariatric surgery, and in general I think everyone has been quite supportive, or at least bitten their tongue. She had very very good results her first year, so I'm sure that was helpful in people at least not telling her it was a mistake. Her parents actually paid for it, so they knew and were supportive, and at worst her mom has just said a few awkward things in public like mothers do (oh God, wedding dress shopping was hilarious).
As for myself, I've been overweight since I was in about 4th grade. I'm only 5'6" but was at 320lbs when I started my 3-month pre-surgery program, so I qualify based on BMI alone. I've been lucky enough to have no other co-morbidities so far, such as diabetes or heart disease, other than high blood pressure, which is now under control. I have two small sons (almost 3 years old and 4 months old) and am determined to do this to not only save my life but to help ensure they have a father who is alive and is not limited by his weight and inevitable obesity-related declining health.
Anyhow, I've been thinking about going beyond the handful of people, and actually being very open about it to the point of almost "announcing", I guess you could say. Perhaps posting about it on Facebook and other web forums I frequent with an explanation of what is being done and why, and talking to the leader of our church worship team to ask that that amazing bunch of people can be praying for me (never mind have an honest excuse for why I won't be able to sing for a couple of weeks), and that sort of thing.
My reasons for wanting to do this basically break down to these:
1) I want to be honest. I don't want to lie and say I'm had a hernia or something just because I'm embarrassed to admit I need this surgery. Of course it's no one's business but my own, and I'm never going to judge someone for wanting to keep their band private, but for me it just doesn't feel like the right thing. I also feel like being honest about it would be a big step in confronting my relationship with food and admitting that it was an abusive one, in need of a drastic measure.
2) I want accountability. The way I see it, the more public knowledge it is amongst my friends and family it is, the more people I will have to face up to if I'm not using my tool properly. I know this will almost definitely mean more unsolicited advice and rude comments than you can shake a stick at, but hey, I'm a stay-at-home-dad, I get that all the time already.
3) I want more people to know more, accurate information about the lap-band. This is probably my biggest reason. Several years ago, I lost quite a bit of weight on Atkins -- about 85lbs total. In the end I did gain it all back (and more) because I stopped following it properly and stopped exercising the way I had been (mostly weekly judo classes). But before, during, and after, I was a HUGE advocate for Atkins (still am) and spent a lot of time among friend as the go-to guy for debunking myths about Atkins and low/controlled-carb diets. It killed me how many people misunderstood how it worked, why it worked, etc. With the band there is the same thing, times 10, with the added element of people thinking it's an "easy way out" or what have you. I really really really want to be able to help educate people about the band without needing to do so anonymously, or bite my tongue to avoid people finding out I have one. I figure the only way attitudes will change and the stigma go away is if the very people who are getting banded don't seem to be agreeing that it's something to be ashamed of doing.
Has anyone else here done this sort of thing and would be willing to share how it went? Are you glad you did, or do you perhaps regret it? What are some of the effects it had on your own journey, good or bad?
Do you think I'm crazy for even thinking of this?