New2011

Most of my life I was an athlete. I played softball and basketball. I was also in Show Choir and very active, but I was always considered "big-boned" and told "you have such a pretty face." Looking back, I was in great shape.  I was an athletic size 14, but I alway felt ashamed of being a "big girl". I just wanted to be like other women and shop in normal stores and have more options. I remember in High School I said that I never wanted to shop in plus size stores so I worked hard to stay out of those stores. After college, I had two beautiful babies within 13 months of one another. I was on bed rest with my son due to toxemia and I became huge. I started to work out after that, but shortly after that I was going through a divorce and was the single Mother of two babies. I put myself through Graduate School and often worked two or three jobs to support us. My stress was unbelievable. After that, I became a therapist working with high risk youth within an acute psychiatric facility, a residential facility and now community mental health. I was exposed to trauma every day, in addition to my home life stress, and I ate to cope. I felt like a hypocrite because I always taught the kids I worked with to develop positive coping skills and take care of themselves, and every night I would neglect myself and try to numb out all my pain with whatever kind of food I thought could do the job. Three years ago I met an amazing man and got married. He is the love of my life and has been a blessing to me and my children. He has taught me how to slow down, enjoy life and love myself. It was with this love, and his constant encouraging me to make myself a priority that I have finally decided to make room in my life for me. That is why I decided to have the lap band surgery and I am so glad I did it. Ironically, I help people all the time but hate asking for help. But it is the best decision I ever made. I feel like I am getting my life back and dealing with things in a healthy way rather than stuffing my feelings. The emotional part can be tough sometimes, because I have days when I wish I could just numb out. But I am so much happier now because I finally made room in my life for me. Make room in your life for you- you deserve it.