Hi im Looby, The story so far! I like many of the other people on here have been overweight or at least struggled with weight problems all their lives. There is so much I want to say but in reality all that matters i suppose is that im overweight to the degree that my BMI is now 52 I feel really ashamed about that and keep asking myself why I let myslef get in such a state? I have the best GP who despite the NHS standard 5 minute appointment times has always had time to sit and talk to me. I have suffered from depression for the last 10+ years and he has been there for me. When I approached him after having a particularlly bad few weeks, and asked him to refer me for Bariatric surgery I really thought he might try to talk me out of it but he was all for it. So here I am 6 months down the road having been referred to a specialist consultant who put me forward for funding from our local Primary Care Team. They have agreed to fund the surgery. I am now awaiting an appointment with the surgical team at Luton and Dunstable hospital with a view to having a Sleve Gastrectomy.
I have spent so much time on the internet, looking and reading forums about bariatric surgery attending support groups, getting as much info as i can, somtimes I think I'm becoming obsessive. Then I will read an article where someone/thing hasn't gone right and I get really scared thinking am I taking the easy way out, and then I think, could I loose the weight?- probably yes, could I loose enough to get to a healthy weight before I lost interest?- probably not, would I keep the weight off? - almost certianly not, so then I think in reality this is the only option if I want to get healthy, and be able to move about with ease. I have already had one of my knees relpaced because it's worn out, Im 47 years old for goodness sake, I want to be able to run arround with my grandchildren should I be lucky enough to have any, not to mention spend my retirement with my husband.
Im not scared of pain/discomfort and I know that it wouldn't last that long, but I am trying to look beyond the operation and focus on the benefits. My family even when I was young was very "food focused" we were brought up on a farm and didn't have a lot of money so "Posh" food was always a treat and wasn't to be wasted.
I want to be able to live my life without the focus being on food. I know its not going to be easy but I believe that being possitive will help me. I know that the benefits of having surgery far outweighs the alternative, but there's always that little niggling voice in your head questioning if your doing the right thing. one thing i will say though is that NOT ONE person in all of the support groups that i have been to has said they regret having the surgery, and if they had a choice they would do exactly the same again becauase the benefit it has made to their lives has been immense. Like Wendy told "Peter Pan" I'm holding that thought, because that what I want to feel like!
Im sory if ive rambled on too long, but it's like a train that wont stop! once you start writing, there's so much you want to say. I will leave the rest for another time