donali

1. if you had it to do over again, would you still choose the band over the bypass or other surgeries? Absolutely, no question about it. My sister had the bypass, lost from 353 to 180, and now is back in the 300's. I have NEVER heard of anyone with the band (who still has their band) regaining. My insurance would only pay for the gastric bypass, so I took out a home equity loan and zipped down to Tijuana and had it done there. 2. what has been the hardest part of the WLS, what has been the easiest? The hardest part for me was the recovery. I was not one of those who could have gone to the Bash the day after my surgery! I will say, though, that my surgery was on a Thursday, and I went back to work on Monday (desk job, very sedentary). I hurt, and walking to the bathroom from my desk wasn't fun, but I lived. I made the whole week until Friday, when I asked to go home early. That weekend I was sick as a dog, super naseaus (although I never actually threw up). By the 2nd Monday after surgery I was feeling much better, and by the Monday after that I could get in and out of the car without pulling my left leg in with my hands. lol The easiest thing has been the weight loss itself. I am not dieting or exercising. I am down 58 pounds from 1/23/03. Sure, I would love to lose 10, 15, 20 pounds a month! But not by dieting or killing myself with exercise. I walk the mall for an hour when I feel like it, and walk a mile and a half occasionally to my Mom's, but I do not have a "regimine" - I am trying to live life the way that feels normal to me, and I am very happy and contented. 3. what is the one thing that has helped you be successful? There are two things that have been the turning point for me. Obviously, the most important one has been getting the band itself. The second was 6 months of therapy for my compulsive overeating, which I did from 1/02-6/02. I didn't know at the time I would be having WLS, and it has made all the difference in the world in my emotional life. Now that I am banded, all that I learned in my therapy is a huge support to my attitude - that in combination with the band itself have been invaluable. Best of luck with your decision!

I know it is really, really hard to change our mindsets about our weight, and getting rid of it. In my dieting days, I would make huge, elaborate charts of weight and dates on multiple pieces of graphpaper, taped together. I used the really small squares so I could use more than one per pound! Then not only did I chart my actual loss, but in different colors I would chart my "dream" loss, a less drastic "dream" loss, a minimum "dream" loss. I had multiple milestones marked out - if I lost 1 pound a day, I would be at such and such weight by such and such day, but if I lost 2 pounds a day, I would be here, etc., etc. I would spend HOURS obsessing and planning and charting and hoping and dreaming and being disappointed... I don't think I was ever able to keep it up for more than a month at a time, as it was just too frustrating to hit the plateaus and feel deprived and like I was trying SO hard and getting nowhere... I am not completely over my obsession, but I spend less and less time thinking about my weight, and how much I am losing (or not losing, as was the case this week!). I weigh only once a week - I always get to "keep" my lowest weight, even if I've gained a pound or two - so if my support people ask how I'm doing, I always say the low weight. Weight is NOT a good indicator of how we're doing (particularly if we're female) - it flucuates throughout the day! Eating healthily and being happy is much more important. Using averages for your weight gives a more realistic picture of how you're doing, as well. It removes those tremendous highs, true, but it also gets rid of those terrible lows. Glad you're feeling reassured - hang in there!

Hi Mary - The weeks prior to your first fill are about healing, not about losing. Most people have little if any restriction prior to the first fill. Remember, this is not a "diet" - it is the rest of your life. The weight will come off, but it usually does not fall off. Also you will have many plateaus throughout your journey. Average loss is 4 to 10 pounds a month. That does not mean you will lose 4 pounds every month! It means an average - sometimes you'll lose more, sometimes less, but when you add it all together and divide by the amount of time, you get the average. So, you've lost 12 pounds. There's your average of 4 pounds a month for 3 months. The body can only lose weight so fast - how much weight do you expect to lose each month?!?! 12 pounds is STUPENDOUS! Relax.

Hi Dana - Emotional eating is our way to nurture ourselves. Although the long term end result of emotional eating is not our intention, the short term results keep us coming back for more. Once it was explained to me that the underlying reason of my emotional eating was GOOD (trying to care of myself, responding to MY needs), it put my eating in a whole new different light. I had to be taught that being good to myself when I was in need was OKAY - this included setting boundaries (actually say "No" to someone?!?! gasp! - lol) and treating myself like I would a loved one. This was a novel idea... Me? A loved one to myself? I learned how to stop the negative inner voice that used to be my constant companion, particularly in regards to my eating. All that "failure, bad, cheating, ugly, fat, unloveable, unworthy" crap had to go. Is that how you would encourage someone you love? Once it was okay to be good to myself, I used my desire to eat emotionally as an indication that I needed nurturing (very, very hard for me to learn the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger - they felt the same to me). As soon as I was able to identify that my mood was driving me to eat instead of phsical hunger, I referred to my list of alternate activities and tried some of those before I ate. I never forbade myself from eating - that was always an option - I just made a deal with myself to try something else first. If I still wanted to eat, that was okay. Usually I could distract myself enough that the craving went away. If not, having permission to eat what I wanted reduced my incidence of binging, because I knew this was not a "last supper". If you're interested in doing some emotional work, I posted a tool I used in the support section: A Tool for Dealing with Emotional Hunger. Above all else, I believe to the core of my being that we all need to treat ourselves with love and respect regardless of the choices we make. We are all doing the best we can at the moment, and we are all getting better. Having tools that can help us when the going gets rough gives us an infrastructure to fall back on. Best of luck to you during this difficult time.

Hi Rach – The program is called “The Hungry Heart”. It has been changed since I went through it – they no longer offer the one-on-one counseling, but have converted the program to audio tape with workbook, with optional phone support. Their site address is: www.hungryheart.org Please know that I am not affiliated in anyway with this organization, and it is not my intent to drive traffic to their site. I can NOT vouch for the effectiveness of the audio tape program, although it is supposed to use the same workbook I had with my counseling sessions (they converted to the audio tape program a month or two before I had completed my follow-up support sessions). I posted one of the exercises I did through the program in the support section called “A Tool for Dealing with Emotional Hunger” – this is the kind of self-tailored exercise the program uses. Although the program dealt with eating behaviors, for me the overall tone was about raising my self-esteem, which I SO needed. I felt that all people would have benefited from this program, not just those with eating issues. Again, this is not an endorsement (or non-endorsement) for the tape program they currently offer. I personally would not have been successful with a tape program, as I have MANY self-help/self-improvement books/programs that I never started, or started but never completed. :sick For me it was critical to have that face-to-face accountability with my counselor each week. Best of luck to you!

Hi Yvette - Most docs require at least 2 weeks on liquids, then 2 weeks on mushes prior to resuming normal eating. The exact times vary from doc to doc - some requiring 4 weeks of Clear Liquids, then 2 weeks of mush, then regular food as tolerated. The most important thing is NOT NOT NOT to eat solids prior to when the doc says it's okay. Not because you are physically incapable of handing solids, but because solids make the stomach contract and move around to process what you eat, and that puts strain on the sutures and interrupts the healing process. If the band does not heal adequately in place at the beginning, the chances for slippage down the road long term are greatly increased. Think of a deep cut on your knee - every time you bend your knee you break the cut open - takes a long time for it to heal that way. Once you are back into regular food mode there is not a "diet" - some docs put restrictions/guidelines out there, but mostly you will be advised by other bandsters to eat your Protein first, then your veggies, and then (if you still have room) your carbs. Getting enough protein and Water is critical. As far as WHAT you will actually be able to eat once you're back on solids, only you will know for sure, as we are all different. I'm on my third fill and have adequate restriction, and have not found anything I cannot eat at least a little bit of. Welcome to the other side, and good luck on your journey!! Donali Dr Lopez, 1/23/03 303/245/135

As far as numbing first, my doc doesn't numb. I am a huge needle phobic, and even I have to admit it is no big deal. I have an abdomen port, and have my fills done under fluoro. The doctor presses down with a finger on each side of the port to immobilize it, then watching the fluoro monitor sticks me once directly into the port. It feels almost more like pressure than a prick. The needle is left there and the Fluid allowed to drain out. Then the saline syringe is attached and the saline added. I drink the barium while the needle is still in the port and the dr keeps pressure on the syringe, adjusting the amount of fill until the barium just barely trickles out. I have had three fills, all done this way, and do not think twice or dread the procedure. I have heard people who've had it done both with and without the numbing shot say that they prefer the fill to be done WITHOUT - that the numbing shot hurts as much/worse than the fill, and they'd just as soon be stuck only once. I was told I could eat prior, but other bandsters there recommended being empty for the tightest fills. Dr. Lopez says a week of liquids after a fill. I manage a few days... Donali (big medical procedure chicken - lol) Dr Lopez, 1/23/03 303/245/135

I think your doctor's philosophy is right on the money. I spent about $1500 on a counseling program for my obsession about food. It included one on one counseling with hypnotherapy. We went through a workbook with exercises, and I have to tell you that emotionally/self-esteem-wise, this was the most valuable $1500 I have ever spent. That and the band are the two greatest gifts I have ever given myself. The first thing I had to do to begin my healing journey with food was to sign a contract with myself that I would NEVER EVER diet again - EVER. It took me a week to sign that document, because I was petrified of letting go of this crutch I have used for the last 26 years. When I finally signed the contract, I MEANT it - and I will never diet again. Not dieting does not mean not making healthy choices - it just means that I do not create cravings for myself for foods that are "off limits" or "bad". There are no longer "good" or "bad" foods - just nutritious and less nutritious. Once I got off the diet wagon, I could address that negative voice I had developed in response to my dieting failures. I had been letting a hateful voice in my head run my self-esteem into the ground until I had none - I was fat, worthless, unloveable... If the voice were to be believed. I did not deserve to be happy, or to pay attention to my needs - that was selfish... If the voice were to believed. I learned through the program how to shut down that paralyzing voice, and seperate my self-worth from my weight. Yes, I still want to lose weight - I want to look and feel better physically - but I no longer attribute all my problems in life to my weight. Most people with chronic weight issues have transferred all of their energy to micro-managing their weight. It's the only thing we have been able to make "all about me" with a clear conscience, the only control we feel we have in our lives. All other problems take a back seat in our efforts and energy - and LIVING passes us by while we count calories and research new diets and obsess about numbers on the scale. This program was a life saver for me. I still felt the need to be banded - it was a difficult decision in that regard, but I just did not feel that the emotional changes I was making would be fast enough to achieve the health I desired in comparison to my aging. The two together, however, has been an invaluable combination for me. Although I intend to continue to lose weight, my main goal is to be at peace with food and to live my life. I eat when I am hungry, and stop when I am full. If I am not dying to have something less nutritious, I make nutritious choices. When I crave pizza, or ice cream, or candy, or fried chicken, I have it. But I know and am secure in the knowledge that I do not have to BINGE on it because I can have it whenever - not just now. I do not have to say goodbye to it for a certain time. That alone has been a very powerful healing behaviour. Yes, at first my body did not trust me, and my subconscious demanded all the things I had previously deemed "bad" - but as I proved to myself over and over again, these foods WERE permitted and eaten, and were not taken away, and I did not beat myself up. The demands are few and far between now. My only rules for myself now: Eat immediately in response to physical hunger and stop when I'm full. Drink all of my Water each day. Deal with life issues seperately from food - satisfy emotional hunger with activities other than eating. Use kind and nurturing talk when I talk to myself, as I would to a beloved child or pet. My end goal - to be at peace with food, regardless of my weight. To me this means that food is no longer a central part of my life, and involves no more thought than breathing or going to the bathroom. I have a long way to go, but I do believe I will get there! Good luck to everyone else - Donali Dr. Lopez, 1/23/03 303/245/135

Thanks for the pics - you look awesome. Love the purple, too. lol Tell me again how much it hurt? :sick :nervous :cry

Hi Malcolm - Your site is a true inspiration. Of course, I particularly love the love story part. A bizillion congrats on your accomplishments, and glad to see you here!

Hi Robin - Just had to say I LOVE your site, and particularly your journal. I found it months ago prior to my banding, and hadn't visited recently, so just caught up on your more recent entries. Congrats on beating the cervical cancer - how scary. And many many thanks for the pics and details of your TT. If you don't mind my asking, how are your arms/thighs? I see a lot of plastic surgery in my future...

Thanks, Alex! I hope this really takes off - what a great idea, and done so quickly! What's your secret?