donali

Thanks, Neicy! I can certainly see how some training/experience could be extremely helpful... lol More pics scheduled for later today!!

Leatha - I SO love that you are doing this for yourself!! Whoo hooo!! And I really love that you're getting out there and having a wonderful time. It's just going to get better and better!! :mad: :banana

Leatha, that is interesting. I guess I pretty much thought than each individuals response to the band was unique to them, but assumed that response was static - i.e., that person would have the same reaction to that particularly device everytime. It is likely that the placement is not exactly the same, so that could be the reason it feels different. But what a wonderful opportunity you have - getting advice from you now is like getting the advice from TWO bandsters!! :mad:

Hi Lisa - Unfortunately, when a person changes, it very often upsets the balance in their relationships. Weightloss is just one of the many changes a person can go through where this is the case. The fears the people in your life have over your changing is NOT a reflection of who they think you are deep down inside. It is a natural response to change. People in general do not like the status quo to be upset. The reality is, many people who lose a significant amount of weight DO change. Their self-esteem soars, they start really experiencing life, their attitude about THEMSELVES change. They feel empowered, they feel they have a new lease on life. These changes do NOT mean that the relationships they've built automatically fall apart, BUT... sometimes it does happen. You not only have to deal with YOUR new emotions about yourself, but also the emotions of those around you. I recommend that you find a counselor/therapist experienced in this specific arena, and see if your husband will go with you. He may not know what exactly would reassure him that his perfect life is only going to get better, not fall apart. A good counselor/therapist should be able to help him define his fears and set action steps to help him overcome those fears. Hang in there, and be gentle with those you love. As maddening as their reactions are, they DO stem from their love of you, and their fear that somehow that will change. Perhaps in conversations with your husband, instead of focusing on trying to reassure him that his fears are groundless, instead focus on HIM. Show a lot of interest in HIM, and his interests. Tell him and show him how special he is to you. NOT in a "SEE, this is how much I love you, I'm not going anywhere!!!" way, but in a genuine way. Be excited to see him. When he comes home from work, tell him how much you thought of him that day, how you couldn't wait for him to get home so you could give him a kiss and thank him for sharing his life with you. Say things like, "Do you have ANY idea how sexy I find you?" Talk about plans/fantasies/dreams for the two of you in the distant future. Like, "Honey, when we win the lotto, we will go here, we will do this." "Sweetheart, when we're old and retired together, we'll have all the time in the world to travel the country. Just think, we could get a motorhome and visit the kids, and move from warm place to warm place..." Stuff like that - whatever would be believable in your situation. I know that when my boyfriend started talking about things we would do together far off into the future, I suddenly felt much more secure, more loved, more a part of his life FOR REAL. Good luck, and keep us posted!! **hugs**

Congrats, PAM!!! Whoo hooo!!! Hoping all goes well, and that your recovery is quick and uneventful. Tell all when you're up to it!! :mad:

Hi Chris - I did not have my fill removed. I do not recall having any dietary requirements before or after the procedure. I think I didn't eat that day just to make sure there was no junk in my stomach when they did it, but I don't recall being told to not eat. Good luck!

So, Leatha - you're saying that even though I haven't read all those books, just buying them really did help? :mad: It's not that I think there is really anything wrong with me... but at the same time, I guess I feel deep down there's something I'm not quite "getting" about life. I know, an odd dichotomy, but you never know when you're going to come across a piece of information that suddenly makes all the lights in the house come on... lol

Tellie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I don't have any figures for you, just my gut feeling based on the reading of many boards/posts. It seems to me that the development of reflux after banding is pretty common - particularly after one reaches goal. I haven't read any scientific explanation for this, I just know that many people who have been banded a long time can no longer tolerate the same tightness of fill that got them to where they are. The only solutions I know of are medication, reduction/removal of fills, modification of diet/habits. You may find that something specific you are eating/drinking is contributing to this problem. If you're not interested in having a little fill removed, you may try eliminating these things from your diet for a while, and see if that makes a difference: 1. acidic juices/fruits, like citrus 2. caffeine - coffee, tea, chocolate 3. spicy foods Also, you want to make sure that you are not eating within a couple of hours of when you lie down. You may have to forgo drinking for a couple of hours before you lie down as well. Some people are in the habit of taking medications at night before they go to bed. Switching those meds to the morning has helped some of them. If you already don't partake in the above, then you have to choose between medication/fill reduction or a combination of both. Please keep us posted, and I hope you're feeling better soon!

The framing is "done" (I still need to do some reinforcement, but that can come later), the front door is hung (lockset doesn't quite match up yet - will have to do some tweaking on that), and the siding was started!!! Whhoo hooooo!!! It's starting to look "real". :mad: Mom and I are so proud - we took lots of "TA DA!" pics... lol Bad hair day for me, bad clothes day (I'm doing construction, for gosh sakes!), but putting the pics up anyway:

Terry - WOW - **hugs** I have NEVER thought you sounded whiney. Maybe I'm reading too fast? lol Good for you taking that new job. Sorry you had to do it, but so proud of you for sticking up for yourself. And the nasty email... I don't know what to say. I think that is very sad that there is someone out there who is so hateful. I hope they are able to bring themselves to a better state emotionally. Maybe it was just bandster rage???? :mad: Anyway, you ROCK!!! I just bought a book called "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. I have only just started it, but basically it is supposed to be a simple four question technique that enables us to challenge our thoughts which cause our unhappiness. I'm the poster child of self-help books (many of which have never been opened...:sick - much like the exercise equipment that was purchased but never used... lol), but this one I think I will actually end up reading and employing in my life. Was it here that someone mentioned it? Or Spotlight? I don't recall, but I think I heard of it here or there. I'll keep you posted if I am suddenly able to shake off all my worries and what if's and if only's and he/she shouldn't's/should's that make me crazy... lol Chin up, girl - those pounds will come back off. **hugs** (again... )

Poor birdies... Glad they went to a good home. I hope Chris gets you what you want for your bday!! What's the date, again, Miss Libra??? :mad:

Whoo hooo, girl!!! Hot mama!!! :mad:

Yeah, Terry.... WAZZZUP? Where you be? :mad:

lol :mad:

Why am I arm wrestling Penni? If we're going to wrestle, I want us to be half naked in a mud pit. I mean, you might as well make it fun for everyone, right? lol :mad:

My suggestion for swallowed gum would be to eat some smooth Peanut Butter. For some reason, peanut butter dissolves gum - it's recommended as a method to remove gum from hair. Try chewing gum and eat peanut butter at the same time - the gum just disappears.... Glad you seem to be okay!

Yay, Megan!!! I was just about to post a "Where's Megan?" thread. :mad: DeLarla, we don't want this thread deleted - go back and edit the original posts you used to start the thread and either delete the pics, or post different ones instead.

Whoo hooo!! Yay, Penni!! You and DeLarla are certainly head to head... What if it's a tie? :mad: Congrats!!! :banana

Hi Cindy - I am afraid that you are finding out first hand that the band alone is not going to do all of the work. Dieting is not the answer. However, you are going to have to change your relationship with food. The band is only able to help with restriction of volume and dimming of hunger. The physical part is now taken care of. Now you need to take care of the mental/emotional part. My suggestion is to find a counselor/therapist that specializes in compulsive overeating disorders. This person should be able to help you with your relationship with food, and help you break the vicious dieting circle. Please bear in mind that "not dieting" and "eating mindfully" will at first seem like the same thing, but in reality there is a world of difference. For one thing, eating mindfully revolves around HEALTH, not weight. When your focus shifts to health instead of weight, somehow the choices seem easier - when you have permission to eat anything, but you're focused on health, what do you have? A healthful diet is full of satisfying foods, and has room for less healthy choices. A "diet" by its very nature has the connotation of restriction, which sets foods apart, and puts a judgemental quality on them - good/bad. So when you chose "bad" foods, you feel guilty, and your self-esteem plummets, which makes you feel worse, and then you get angry, and rebellious, and say hey, I'm so bad already, I'll just keep eating bad foods, because that's all I deserve anyway, I have the willpower of a gnat, blah, blah, blah. I dieted myself into a place where I told my counselor "I feel like a worthless waste of space." She asked me, "Can you see how feeling that way would be depressing?" lol Yeah, no wonder I was depressed! Anyway, please seek help for the mental/emotional part of this. Obesity is a complex issue, and is rarely solved simply by adjusting the physical. Wishing you all the best -

AAAAAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :D :eek: Ah, DeLarla, you so crack me up! I'll have to try your advice. Although I will say, S**T has gotten me this far... lol *still chuckling, shaking my head* :mad:

Still looking good!! :mad:

:mad: :D :eek: lol

Whoo hooo!!! Kathy, you are doing great! :mad:

A lot of BOTH... Yes, the plan is for him to come and live with me "permanently." He will still travel a lot, and may be away 4-5 months of the year, all told and added together, but I believe the plan is that I will be his "base of operations." lol He was married for 10 years, so he has a better idea of what to expect than I do. I have never lived with an SO, so I feel like a highschool girl at 43, with all the insecurities and childish ways of that age. I'm hoping my relationship maturity comes on quickly, for both of our sakes!! You know I'll be keeping you posted... lol Good and bad... :mad:

Roberta, I think you are absolutely right in thinking that many people (most???) who have WLS think that's it - they've done their part - and then go their merry way without changing anything else. The body is an amazing thing, how it can compensate for what we do to it. But the mind... WOW The mind is the most amazing thing of all. We can change our thoughts and habits, but it takes work, and there is no quick fix. In the end, WLS is a tool to help us change our habits. I wish it was billed more that way, than as a way to "lose weight". Because again, I think for most people, that focus on "losing weight" is a false focus. The focus SHOULD be (IMHO) changing our habits and thought processes about food. That is WAAAAY easier to do when our capacity for large quantities of food is removed, and that constant physical hunger is turned off. But, it doesn't happen automatically. So if we don't work on the mind part, when the body starts compensating, the weight will creep back on. I certainly believe that compensation is not as drastic for the lapband as the RnY, but we still need to work on changing our habits, just in case we ever fall into that 1%-3% that must have our bands removed for whatever reason.