donali

ALL of you look SO amazing!!! Bright... WOW. Kristie... Speechless. Michelle, Penni, Shelly, Megan, Darcy, Alexandra, Lisa, Laura, Brenda, Dow & Debbie, Mary, Nana, Kelly, Audrey, Belinda, Leatha, Sue, Kathy, Brandi, Mary E., Sar829, Nancy, Becky, Tricia, Carol, Betty, Larae... Each of you deserve to be recognized by name for your wonderful successes! Congratulations! And congrats to all of you who haven't posted your pics yet - you're doing GREAT, and you're going to SUCCEED!!! Whoo hooo!

313-208. Back to 227, but seem to be on a downward trend once again...

Not being a psychologist, either, I cannot give any professionally based insight to this phenomonem, but I certainly share it. For me, it is multi-based. 1. The constant need to be reassured that as bad of shape I am in, I'm still not THE fattest person in the world (or messiest, or financially irresponsible, or dumbest, or dowdiest, or meanest, or most judgmental, most irritating, or... etc., etc...) Why does that bring me comfort? I have no idea, but it does. I hate my internal conversations that start, "Well, at least I'm not as....(insert whatever fault I'm comparing at the time! )....as So-and-SO!" 2. The genuine fear that my problems will get to be as bad (or worse!!) as someone I consider to be worse off than I am. "Oh, Dear God, PLEASE don't let me get as bad as So-and-So!!!" 3. The need to feel superior, however pitifully, than someone else I am more than equal to or less than... "Well, I may be just as fat, but at least I don't eat THAT (or dress like THAT, or....) I have also heard that the things we dislike most about others are the things we dislike most about ourselves. I think that is very true. While I love fat, jolly, beautifully dressed/made-up people, I am fearful and judgmental of those who look slovenly, who look as though they don't care about their appearance. Why? Because that's ME. I don't wear nice clothes, I rarely wear make-up. They only reason I shower everyday is because otherwise I am an ogre - feeling hot, miserable, uncomfortable and grouchy. Otherwise my personal hygiene would undoubtedly suffer as well. In spite of all my counseling and the progress I have made with my self-esteem, I have to admit that deep down, on a day to day basis, I honestly feel "What's the point of trying to look any better? I'm still fat, unattractive, and undesireable no matter how much make-up I'm wearing, or how nice my clothes are." And yet I continually admire my younger sister who is close to 100 pounds heavier than I am, because she is so beautiful - always fixes her hair, does her make-up and wears nice clothes. An odd dichotomy which I cannot seem to reconcile in my psyche...

Whoo hoo!! Congrats, Joan! The next two weeks may have some rough spots, but then it just keeps getting better and better!!

No idea how factual these really are, but they're interesting nonetheless... **************** Fast Facts 01.) The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. 02.) Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. 03.) Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. 04.) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma. 05.) American car horns beep in the tone of F. 06.) No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. 07.) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. 08.) 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. 09.) You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. 10.) Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. 11.) The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. 12.) The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache 13.) A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight. 14.) American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. 15.) Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. 16.) The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." 17.) Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 18.) The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had. 19.) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. 20.) Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. 21.) The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer. 22.) Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. 23.) Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser. 24.) Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. 25.) Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor. (Her doctor was a Jew!) 26.) Marilyn Monroe had six toes. 27.) All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public. 28.) Walt Disney was afraid of mice. 29.) The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly

Actual Instructions In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products: 1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. 2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. 3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. 4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. 5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. 6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) 7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. 8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END. 9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE Breakfast Cereal? 10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE sleeping. 11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!) 12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?) 13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!) 14. On Marks & Spencer Bread pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) 15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) 16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?) 17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) 18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?) 19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.) 20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) 21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) 22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. 23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD. 24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT Iron CLOTHES ON BODY. 25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. 26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

15 Ways to Confuse Your Rommmate 1. Sit up. Say, "time to make the donuts." Leave. Do this often. 2. Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out, close the door and look relieved. 3. Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny. 4. Pick up the phone every five minutes and say, "hello." Look confused and hang up. 5. Unwrap a candy bar. Eat the wrapper and throw the chocolate away. 6. When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune. 7. Address your roommate by a different name every time you talk to him or her 8. Constantly drink from an empty glass. 9. Every time you handle something of your roommate's, use a tissue or gloves. 10. While unlocking your door with the key, complain that the engine won't start. 11. Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you eat them. 12. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation. 13. Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket. 14. Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's pictures. Complain that they were staring at you. 15. Everytime your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake him or her up and say, "it's time to go to bed now."

This is supposedly from a high school equivalency program in University Park in Dallas. RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR: This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca and Gary English 44A SMU Creative Writing Prof. Miller In-class Assignment for Wednesday Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached. **************************** At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air- headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!" This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent. Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered, tedious, neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Asshole. Bitch. The end.......... TEACHER'S NOTE: A+ - I really liked this one.

I dunno... Should I have posted this on the FOOD thread??? lol

Go Bobby; Go Bobby; Go Bobby!!

Pop stars singing opera... or WITH opera singers?!?!?! Now, really, that is just SO wrong... *shakes her head in disbelief*

ROTFLMAO!!! Congrats, Ryan!! LOVE seeing those underoos!!

The RnY is not a FIX, either... It is also just a tool, which loses a lot of its effectiveness after two years...

Trish - There is NO guarantee that you won't have saggy skin just because you lost weight slower - so you might as well take that off your list of "Pros" for the band. However, losing weight slower is safer, since it's less hard on your body and you are less likely to lose muscle - remember, the most important muscle in your body is your heart. My sis had the RnY, and has regained almost all of her weight. The RnY has a "window of opportunity" where the missing part of the intestine gives the most malabsorption of calories. However, once a person hits about the 2 year mark, the intestine compensates and begins absorbing more calories again - unfortunately, the top part of the intestine (which is what is cut away) is responsible for absorbing certain Vitamins, and the intenstine NEVER learns to compensate for that loss. So, you are permanently Vitamin deficient, but you are NOT permanently calorie deficient. IF you do NOT permanently change your lifestyle, you WILL regain your weight with the RnY. Those first two years are "freebies", where pretty much no matter WHAT you do or eat, the weight just melts off. AFTER that - if you continue to eat the "old" way, the weight will come back on just like it did before. With the band there is NO window of opportunity - it is continually effective as long as you maintain your restriction. It IS true, though, that many people who have been banded a long time can no longer handle the same amount of restriction without suffering severe reflux, so the band cannot be made as tight as many would like to receive maximum help - so for them it does become harder than before to maintain, but they STILL receive help from the band. No WLS is perfect - but the lapband is definitely, without a doubt, the very safest WLS available today. And while it's true that many people may not lose down to their goal weight (although many DO), the 3 year out statistics comparing weightloss between the lapband/RnY show them equal. Lots of people have children after the bypass - but never forget that you will be PERMANENTLY vitamin deficient, so you would have to be extra diligent about supplements during your pregnancy to safeguard your child. Extraordinary bandsters is at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ExtraordinaryBandsters/ Good luck with your decision! And just a comment on Jonathan's advice about asking a doc who does both - beware, there are many docs out there who are biased one way or the other as well. Most of those WLS surgeons started out doing the RnY, and are slow to accept that the lapband is an equally good (if not better) alternative. Plus, the RnY is a much more pricey surgery, so they earn more doing it... That may sway some of their opinions, as well...

I believe that it is a myth that one could "run out of room" for fills. Many docs will try to discourage their patients from getting fills too often, because the bands will only hold so much, and once the person reaches the "max" they have no where to go. I have never heard of anyone NOT being totally closed off at the band's full fill capacity.

I've read that the hiccoughs can be attributed to the diaphragm being irritated, which is why they seem to happen so often to bandsters right after they eat - the full pouch pushes up against the diaphragm. I'm sure that's not the only explanation for hiccoughs, but it seems to be one of the most logical in regards to a banded person. Many banded people get a single hiccough as their "soft stop" signal.

Wyld - Just roll with the punches. You'll still go through phases where you can't get enough of one thing or another, or where you feel ravenous all day in spite of how much you eat, but these are temporary (albeit frightening) stages. Indulge a little bit in the real thing, then make up the bulk of the difference in imposters, like chocolate Protein shakes, or mock frappacinos (instant coffee w/cocoa, splash of vanilla, non-fat powdered milk, a dash of half-n-half, artificial sweetener to taste, Water and ice blended until slushy and top with the spray on whip cream. You can even add a flavorless Protein powder to that to beef it up protein-wise. You're going to be fine!!

Kim - Sounds like you are having esophogeal spasms. The same thing happened to me for a short while, and then went away. Try drinking some hot liquids right before you start eating to help relax things a little bit, and then make sure your first two bites are extremely small and extremely well chewed. Then wait five minutes or so, and you should be able to eat a normal bandster portion. I don't remember how long this lasted for me, but it did go away, so just be careful and pamper yourself until then.

Also, even if you had a slip, you would still feel restriction from the band being filled - I mean, you would physically feel your stomach being squeezed as the saline was added - not a pleasant sensation. In fact, most people with slippage are OVER restricted. I would be extremely surprised if it is slippage, particularly since they did fluoro and said everything looked okay. They should be able to see slippage under fluoro.

Oh - did you mean three times right in a row? My bad... Never mind. Except what I said is still true... lol

Your lowest weight is going to be in the mornings before you eat anything, after you do your morning bathroom duty. It also helps to be fully awake when you weigh - then you're not such a deadweight on the scales. As your day progresses, your body becomes heavier as you consume food and liquids. Your highest weight will most likely be right before bed. You may also want to remember that the scale is an inadequate measurement of your overall success...

Hi Chris - ShellyJ had this exact same problem - her fills were being trapped in the port and NOT reaching the band - they would put fill in, and take the same amount out, but it was never going into the tubing. I suspect that same thing is happening to you. I suppose you could also have a leak, but I would think it would have to be a pretty big one to not feel at least a little bit of difference before the restriction leaked away. It's also possible that your tubing has become disconnected from the port or the band, although that seems less likely if they're able to draw the Fluid back out. Tell your doc that there is at least one precedent of saline being trapped in the port, and maybe he can try accessing it somewhere else. He may have to resort to some sort of contrast fluid so he can see under fluoro WHERE exactly the fill is going...

Misty - You are likely to find that once you really start chewing (and therefore actually TASTING - lol) the food you eat, there are some things that just don't give the same satisfaction as pre-band. pizza is one of my trigger foods - I still had it ocassionally after banding, but when you have to chew chew chew before you can swallow, and only take small bites... Well, frankly, eating some things became work. And since apparently a lot of the pleasure I got from food was the quantity I could eat in a short amount of time, eating certain things just didn't give me the same sense of pleasure as before. And then some things have a downright nasty taste/texture when they're actually chewed... lol I'm not a big fish fan anyway, but I did like shellfish. But let me tell you - chewing chewing chewing a rubbery clam or shrimp or lobster that maybe doesn't have the freshest freshest taste is a big turn off - but I would never have noticed before and would have eaten them with gusto, as it was more bite/swallow with the taste of tarter sauce or cocktail sauce instead of the taste of the actual food. After you get full a few times on half the amount of food you used to before, you will look at a hamburger or a sub-sandwiche and your head will just say, "NO way am I going to be able to eat all of that." I was never even tempted to try a sub-sandwiche, because I knew how long it would take to eat it with small bites instead of the giant bite/chew just enough not to choke/swallow method I used pre-banding. And when the eating of a particular food is no longer pleasurable, you'll be surprised how uninteresting it is to you any more - even if it used to be one of your favorite things.

Cindy - It's time to start looking at averages, and to really sit and meditate about how the changes you are making today are "for LIFE" - not just for "LIFE" in a long term sense of the word, but for life - in the living sense of the word. If you average out your weightloss over the past 6.5 months, you are waaaay ahead of the curve. AND... Sorry to say, the human body has not read up on math - so the simple equation of weightloss means nothing to it. Your body knows what it is doing - yes, a 5 week plateau is normal. What are you going to do when you are at goal weight, and you are nothing BUT a plateau for the rest of your life???? Are you going to stop eating right and stop exercising?? ARE you?!?! Because if THAT was your plan, you might as well have been dieting all this time. Because guess what? As soon as you stop doing what you're doing to lose/maintain weight, the weight is going to creep back on. You do NOT need a fill unless you are getting hungry sooner than 3-4 hours after eating a decent meal of hard Proteins and vegetables, or the nutritious meals that you are eating are in such quantity as to provide more calories than you need. If you have kicked up your exercise program, I bet you are losing inches even if you are not losing "weight". Remember that muscle weighs more than fat, but takes up less room. And it is possible that if you kicked up your exercise program, your body may need a few more calories to keep losing. But this attitude: is what helps keep MO people fat. Living a healthy lifestyle HAS to be enough in and of itself, regardless of weightloss. If you do not believe that to the very core of your being, then you are missing the whole point of the band being for LIFE - in every sense of the word.

Whoo hooo!!! Congrats, girl!!