donali

Bumping for Fidget

Reserving the last weekend in September.... 23-25... Are those the set dates now? xxoo

PMs are not an acceptable place to send attacking messages. Emails are not an acceptable place to send attacking messages. Public forums are not an acceptable place to send attacking messages. Private forums are not an acceptable place to send attacking mesages. People get angry. People get upset. People get hurt. There are appropriate ways to deal with those emotions. You can say, "I disagree." "I think you are wrong." "I don't believe this is fair." "My opinion is..." "I stand by my belief that..." People who send ugly things should not expect that they remain private. PMs/emails/posts imply that you have a trust in the person/people you are communicating with, and they have a trust in you. If you PM/email/post ugly things to someone, you have broken that trust - why should anyone protect you from your ugliness to them??? Only a true friend would do that, and surely you would not send something like that to a true friend. Keeping ugly things said/done to us a secret is how many of our journeys began. Being abused in private is no more acceptable than being abused in public, just as abusing people in private is no more acceptable than abusing people in public. I agree with Bright's earlier post on the subject of etiquette - I try to post in a civil manner, and appreciate those who do the same. I will go to any lengths to protect anyone's privacy if they choose to divulge personal feelings/thoughts/information in confidence to me. All of you can rest assured, however, that if I am ever subject to harrasing/abusive/ and/or threatening correspondence directed at me personally it will NOT be kept private, and will not be tolerated. That is a promise.

Vera, I always knew you were kinky... Congrats on getting fixed up, and best wishes for an uneventful rest of your band life!!! xxooxx

I lied about my weight by about 30 pounds, and my DL says 280!!! (I had to look, as I couldn't remember). This morning I was 234, so I'm nearly 50 pounds less now. But if I wait a couple more months, I may not need to change it... **sob** :eek: :(

My Mom was through menopause at 38. I started five years ago, and just turned 44. I'm down to about 2 periods a year, and my hot flashes have mostly disappeared. The night sweats were the absolute worst for me. I can't wait till it's all really over!!

LOL No, Polyps are what you had before you got jugs....

As a dolphin-lover, I'm "Coral Holder" But as a tree hugger, I'm "Frolic Juniper" - I think I like that better!!!

Just remember - you are not agreeing or disagreeing with ME - I am quoting medical experts who say that morbid obesity is a disease - and has been recognized as one by the NIH since 1985. You can agree or disagree with them - they're the ones who have done the research, not me. I'm just passing along the information. I think medical experts are full of SH*!#$%T a lot of the time. In this case, however, it seems logical to me to err on the side of possibility. It is hard for me to accept that MO is a disease in my understanding of the word, because I feel like I should have control over my weight, and what I eat, and I feel like I don't. I have no doubt I feel that way because society has taught me that. If I had grown up in a society that taught me MO was a disease to be cured/treated, instead of the easiest to solve character flaw, then I wouldn't have grown up with self-esteem issues, and wouldn't be MO - because I would have been receiving appropriate treatment all along. But when there IS a bonafide disease out there like PW, I have to believe that there could be some mysterious, as yet undiscovered, reason WHY I am driven to eat the way I am. The fact that the band turned off a lot of that "eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat..." chatter seemed evidence to me that at least part of my problem is physical. If we have some sort of chemical imbalance that drives us to eat, that is ALSO a physical defect - not an emotional/psychological one. However, until someone can isolate it and prove it, the "educated" people can get away with making it a willpower problem, because it is virtually impossible to see/know the difference. Once the physical defect (if any) is taken care of, then we can really see how much of our problem is emotional/psychological. I have willpower. Just not around food without my band... Or without Meridia...

I can't really remember any names I was called... How in denial AM I?!?! But... I DO remember the SOUNDS. The moo's, the snuffling oink oink sounds, the snide sound of words without clarity and the resulting laughter. I was a size 18 in highschool. One of the offenders was a trumpet player that sat behind me, and he would make sounds for my benefit. We ended up going on the same European band tour the summer before my senior year, and ended up on an elevator alone together. I asked him point blank if I was really so very offensive that it was absolutely necessary for him to be mean for no other reason. I don't recall him answering the question, but I don't remember him ever making noises to me again.

(((Audrey))) You are doing so fantastic - some days the dragon wins...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Nope - sorry, Penni. Can't WON'T calm down about this particular subject. People have a right to their opinions,but if they are not based on fact then they should at least KNOW that. I will not rollover and let anyone tell me that my MO is due simply to my overeating, and there is no other reason. We just had a thread about WP, the disease where the sufferer gets NO full feeling, EVER. Where cabinets and refrigerators literally have to be locked-up to keep these people from eating themselves to death. And while I will not insult those sufferers by pretending that I have one tenth of their problem, the fact remains that I feel hungry almost all of the time - even when I'm FULL I feel hungry. I don't have WP, but I do have something similar to a much lessor degree. Just because a diabetic doesn't have to take insulin shots doesn't mean that they are not still diabetic. There are degrees to every disease, and there are degrees to all of our problems. I will not sit by silently and let anyone say that "our" problems are due solely to overeating, when medical literature says that's not true. Perhaps it is true for some, but it is not true for all. There is definitely a psychological component to my obesity. There are definitely things I can do to help manage that. But MY obesity definitely has a physical component as well, that was solved with banding. That physical aspect of my disease has now returned without having the band to keep it in check.

Ar Ar ARWOOOOOOO howls Bowser, the wolf-girl... Wolves are allowed to growl when they're annoyed, but they never turn on their pack. xxooxxoo Lisa.

Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings - but I paid a LOT of money to get back my self-esteem regarding my weight and my inability to control it, and I will NOT let anyone take it back away from me without a fight. Particularly another sufferer. Do I overeat? HECK yeah!! Do I naturally eat less sometimes and more than others? HECK yeah!! Is this phenomenon always due to some sort of emotional/psychological problem? Before being banded, I could have been persuaded that yes, maybe my overeating was due soley to emotional/psychological issues. HOWEVER - I HAVE been banded. And I ate less without feeling deprived or hungry. I felt like a normal person. I did NOT think about food every single minute. The band did not change me emotionally/psychologically, so I HAVE to believe that there is a physical component to MY obesity. Were there times that I still tried to overeat while I was banded, even though I WAS full? HECK yeah!!! But most of the time I did NOT. NOT because of willpower, or deprivation - but because I simply did not feel the drive to eat, and had no physical hunger. (((hugs))) Lisa, and to everyone. We have many hurts to be healed. The important thing is that regardless of why any one of us is MO, we ARE doing something about it. xxooxxooxx

Lisa - I find your claims that people who state that the seasons affect their appetites and eating habits are just looking for "excuses" to overeat offensive. I find it PARTICULARLY disturbing to see morbidly obese people perpetuating this kind of myth - that our morbid obesity is due solely to our "excuses" to overeat. We are all here trying to do something about our behaviours and physical predispositions to MO. We are fighting this disease with everything we have. We do not need a member of our ranks telling us that we are simply overeating all the time, and THAT's why we are overweight. IT IS NOT TRUE - PER THE MEDICAL EXPERTS!!! Please re-read this post - also note, in particular, these excerpts: *************** ************** Morbid Obesity is a DISEASE <HR style="COLOR: #d1d1e1" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->Morbid Obesity is a DISEASE. It has been recognized as a disease since 1985(!!!!) by the National Institutes of Health (NIH). This is going to be a long rant… I mean, post. The longer I thought about doctors who make a patient lose weight before weightloss surgery as “proof” of their commitment to a healthier lifestyle, the angrier I got. I am FURIOUS. I am INCENSED. These surgeons are making their livings “treating” obesity, and THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT OBESITY TO CALL IT A DISEASE. THEY DON’T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT OBESITY TO REALIZE THAT IN 1991, THE NIH CONCLUDED IN ITS CONSENSUS CONFERENCE THAT DIETS, EXERCISE PROGRAMS, APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS AND BEHAVIOR MODIFCATIONS ARE NOT EFFECTIVE THERAPIES. YES, I am YELLING. Because if they DID, they would NEVER tell a patient who desperately needed their help that they must lose weight FIRST – to PROVE they are serious about getting better!!!! And to have this kind of attitude propagated on a weightloss SUPPORT board as acceptable under ANY kind of circumstances is absolutely reprehensible, and a symptom of just how well the prejudice against fat people is accepted. Not only is it tolerated, it is expected as our “just” punishment for being fat. Because after all, we are merely gluttons. The formula is so simple: too many calories in = too much fat. So diet and exercise. Too bad for you that you’re not one of the “normal” people who can regularly consume more calories than they need without getting fat – you are NOT a “normal” person, so you must just go hungry and exercise your butt off. Guess what? The formula is NOT that simple. NO ONE really knows the complete explanation of why some people become MO and some people don’t. But not understanding “why” is NO excuse for discriminating against the MO, or continuing to blame the patient for their disease. If a person could not swim, would it be acceptable for the lifeguard to say, “I could save you, but FIRST you must swim 20 feet to PROVE that you really want to be saved.”? Or better yet, “You can’t swim, so you should never have come into the Water in the first place. Why should I bother saving you? This is your fault.” Except in the extreme cases of denying organ transplants to smokers and alcoholics, I have NEVER heard of denying treatment until the patient starts to get better on their own as an acceptable medical response. (I’m not saying I agree with the transplant thing, just that I have heard that a smoker who doesn’t quit wouldn’t be considered for a lung transplant, and an alcoholic that doesn’t quit wouldn’t be considered for a liver transplant. I don’t even know if that’s true – I’ve just heard it.) Diabetics are not denied medication until they can prove they can get their blood sugar under control with a commitment to eliminating sugars from their diet and exercise. Smokers are not denied the nicotine patch until they can prove that they can quit smoking for four weeks first. A double-amputee is not denied their prosthetics to enable them to walk until they walk two blocks without the prosthetics, to PROVE that they really want to walk again FIRST. The prosthetics, after all, are just TOOLS – not “cures” for amputeeism. People with high cholesterol are not denied medication until they are able to lower their cholesterol first, through diet and exercise. If a depressed person goes to the doctor for treatment, and they meet the protocol, the doctor would NEVER say “Snap out of it first. Then I’ll give you the medication you need to maintain a non-depressed state.” Anorexics are never told "JUST eat!!" Their condition is taken very seriously, and requires medical and psychological intervention. I ask you all, then, WHY IS IT ACCEPTABLE TO REQUIRE A MO PERSON TO LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE TREATMENT?!?!?!? YES, we have to make lifestyle changes – but just like the amputee, we can’t do it without a TOOL. We have a DISEASE. I feel that I have done the emotional work. I have completed a professional counseling program specifically for compulsive overeaters. I’ve been hypnotized. I’ve done every diet known to man, and some that I made up myself. How DARE ANYONE tell me that I am NOT serious about losing weight?!?! I cried on the way into work this morning thinking about this. I am crying now. I will NOT accept punishment for this disease. I will NOT accept blame for this disease. I WILL accept the responsibility of doing something about it, however. But I cannot do it alone – because I am NOT “normal”, and I will ALWAYS need some sort of treatment to HELP me, until they find a cure. And I cannot stand by and let anyone forget that we are NOT here because of some moral failing, some character flaw, some personal weakness. We are here because we have a DISEASE. We need treatment, not judgment. If we were not serious about getting better, we would not be here. NO ONE deserves to feel badly about themselves because they have a disease. NO ONE should be made to jump through hoops to prove they want to recover from their disease. MO is NOT A CHARACTER FLAW. This is NOT my opinion – this is medical FACT. It is up to US to know and understand this, and to eradicate the long-held beliefs that we have allowed to shame us for all of our lives. We must NEVER EVER allow anyone to get away with propagating beliefs that MO is anything but a disease that requires medical treatment. *************** http://216.239.63.104/search?q=cache:OTJxKzuvN8QJ:www.shapeup.org/profcenter/diabesity/PoriesPres.ppt+is+morbid+obesity+a+disease%3F&hl=en "The truth is that Morbid obesity is a disease, not a moral failing." “Obesity is a chronic, lifelong, genetically-related, life-threatening disease with highly significant medical, psychological, social, physical, and economic co-morbidities.” Statement on morbid obesity and its treatment. Obesity Surgery 1997 7:40-41 “In 1991, the National Institutes of Health concluded in its Consensus Conference that diets, exercise programs, appetite suppressants and behavior modifications are not effective therapies.” Report of the Consensus Conference on Surgery of Morbid Obesity, National Institutes of Health, Washington, DC 1991 ************** http://www.rsapc1.com/morbid_obesity_surgery/ "Morbid obesity is the most common form of malnutrition in the United States and in the world today. It is considered after smoking to be the second leading preventable cause of death in the United States. It is a chronic disease which is very complex and has multiple etiologies." "We lose over 300,000 patients a year to morbid obesity and morbid obesity related medical problems." "There are social, psychosocial and economic consequences of morbid obesity that can be devastating. Unfortunately, the prejudice against the obese is very common in our society." "Conservative management of morbid obesity that includes diet, behavioral modifications, exercise programs and the like have been found to be ineffective over the long term. A person who is morbidly obese who attempts conservative management, as mentioned above, either alone or in any combination, is not expected to be successful more than 5% of the time. Over 95% of patients who are morbidly obese and meet the criteria for morbid obesity will regain their weight and often overshoot their previous weight. Surgery for morbid obesity is the only method that has resulted in long-term maintenance of weight loss and the reduction of the comorbid diseases that are associated with morbid obesity. In particular, hypertension, dibetes mellitus, risks for coronary disease, osteoarthritis, gastroesophageal reflux disease and many others. Morbid obesity is a chronic disease which is defined as a disruption of bodily function that develops slowly and persists for an extended period of time and often for life. It is multifactorial and includes genetic predisposition, environmental factors, social economic factors, cultural influences, hormonal influences and digestive abnormalities. In 1985 morbid obesity was recognized as a disease with associated comorbid diseases by the National Institute of Health. In 1991, surgical weight loss stated to be superior to nonsurgical weight loss methods and that only surgical intervention produced acceptable long-term results. In 1993 the National Institute of Health recognized the vertical banded gastroplasty and the gastric bypass procedure to be effective in significant reduction of excess body weight. The National Institute of Health recognizes morbid obesity as being an epidemic that can only be reduced significantly by surgical intervention for both morbid obesity and its associated comorbid problems." **************** http://www.landauercosmeticsurgery.co.uk/obesity/ "OBESITY: A MEDICAL CONDITION People who suffer from obesity are poorly misunderstood by those of the population who are not obese. There is a common attitude that overweight people are stupid and unable to control themselves. People who are obese are often the brunt of cruel jokes and thoughtless humour, even to the point of suffering abusive comments in public places. We now know that the medical condition of morbid obesity is a complex disorder, and not simply due to over-eating. The vast majority of people living in the Western World eat more calories than they need but it is only a small proportion that relentlessly lay down every excess calorie in their fat stores. Most people have a mechanism, by which their body knows when their stores have been refilled, but there is an unfortunate group of people where this mechanism is defective, and when they eat it can be likened to filling up the bath with the overflow blocked off. There are of course no fat people in starvation areas of the world, but this is because these are regions with chronic malnutrition and nobody there has access to even adequate calories. People who are morbidly obese often find it difficult to believe that their problem is a medical disease and not simply due to overeating. MORBID OBESITY IN FAMILIES The disorder of morbid obesity often runs in families. The chance of having morbid obesity is clearly increased if other people in your family have the condition. Studies of identical twins who were separated at birth and brought up separately show that if one twin becomes obese, then the other one is likely to become obese as well." <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Whoo hooo!!! Super congrats, Babs!! What a fabulous accomplishment - and you've really earned it, doing your part. Crystal's math is right on - time to do the surgeries and get under goal! Although I will say that most people do not report a lower weight after having x# of pounds of flab removed. At least, not right away. I think the body counteracts the surgical trauma by retaining beaucoups fluids after, but still...

Diary of a Snow Shoveler... December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life. December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel. December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying. December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow. December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches of the god damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think shes a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wondeful Life" one mor time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my pipes. December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!! December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted. December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

And this was at an institute for higher learning... PRINCETON no less!! lol **shakes her head in disbelief** LOL I get lots of reply emails at work addressing me by my last name as though it's my first - even though me SIG line is first/last, just like everyone else's, AND my email address is first/last, just like everyone else's in the company... I'm so tired of typing: "FYI - my name is Donali." lol Sometimes I just want write them back and address them throughout the email by their last name... "Hi Smith - Thank you for your response."

When I was in college I used to be moved howl. Don't ask me why - it seems so silly now... uh... like it wasn't silly then??? lol Anyway, my little clicque nicknamed me "Bowser" because of that. Oh... the occasional bark would escape me as well... :straight The other nicknames in that group: Dram - she liked to drink Drambouie Flipper - she wore flip-flops snow or shine (this was in Montana!) Now I know we should have called her "Bright" Don't recall our fourth's nickname... hmmm...

Hugs, and congrats on your maintenance success! We bandless ones have to stick together...

Beat it I feel like a woman Fueled for Houston (Wilson Phillips) It's Only Life (Wilson Phillips) Give it Up (Wilson Phillips) Hold On (Wilson Phillips) Okay, so I'm missing my Wilson Phillips! lol And I'm embarassed to admit I had no idea they had more than two albums out... What kind of fan am I??? Now I have to go order some CDs... lol

LOVE your snow pics, Bright!! Sorry you fell yesterday, but glad you're okay. Our freesia are blooming... xxoo

Heal up quick!!! ((((HUGS)))) <3 <3 <3 xxoo

BFountain - Click on the links in my post above and you can read about my erosion and my band removal. This is one of the risks of having any implanted device, but is reported at only 1-3% complication rate. Don't know how accurrate that figure is, but that's what is propogated.