donali

I'm no child psychologist, and I don't have children of my own, but this statement raises red flags for me. Even if YOU know that you don't love him any more/less, HE thinks you love him more when he is successful. I personally would try to make sure it is VERY clear to him that you have always loved him the same, whether he does well or not - your love for him never changes. However, you are much more pleased when he is doing well. I think this is a hard concept for most people to understand - the difference between "love" and "pleased". I know a lot of my own personal issues with standing up for myself revolve around the fear of not being loved... And if he perceives that you hug him and tell him you love him MORE when he's doing well, he WILL equate that to the amount you actually love him, even if it is not true. And he may subconsciously learn that withholding signs of affection is an appropriate disciplinary-type action. Of course, how a person can continue to show the same amounts of love when they're extremely displeased as opposed to when they're extremely pleased is something I'm not sure how to do. I've heard people say, "I love you very much, but I am very displeased/disappointed/angered by your behaviour..." It is STILL difficult for me to believe that if I DON'T please someone that they will still love me just the same... Just my 2 cents, for what it may or may not be worth...

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Hi Miles - I'm the erosion poster child here, but I loved my band and would definitely recommend it to anyone considering being banded. You need to educate yourself, and be willing to accept the risks - occasionally things don't go as planned, but for the most part people's banding journeys are enjoyable and uneventful. If you can call losing weight without suffering and keeping it off "uneventful"... I'm one of the 1%-3% that experienced erosion and had to have my band removed. The causes of erosion are not well know, but it is generally accepted that it is NOT a result of something the patient does. I'm glad I didn't know I was going to have erosion, because if I had, I wouldn't have been banded... And THAT would have been a shame, because I lost 100 pounds with my band. So I'm SO glad I had it done, even though my band is gone now. Here's all the info on my story: Erosion info: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2256 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2725 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2250 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2274 My removal info: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2288 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.p...72&page=1&pp=15 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2298 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2406 Good luck with your decision!

I Pledge Not To Continue Posting In Any Open Forum Threads That Violate The Guidelines Set By The Owner Of This Board. As much as I may still want to add my 2 cents. If I absolutely must say something additional, or want to return to the original topic, I will start a new clean thread.

ROTFLMAO!! Don't miss the LV bash if you can help it!! It was great last year - even though I was one of the problem children (I'm blaming it on my SO - it's his fault we were so late to the BBQ, I swear!). Buca was also a great place to start the festivities. Yum - Lisa, you ordered just right. I've been out of touch with this thread, so maybe someone should bump the dates for this event?

Happiest, happiest of birthdays! May you get the greatest present of all - a well and happy Patty by your side. Hugs and prayers to you both. xxoo

Congrats, Kelly!! And, yeah, what happened to Marie and Betty?

Crystal - You're going to do great!! It is a scary thing, and the unknown changes are frightening, but like Paula said, the changes are gradual. The time on liquids may seem drastic, but hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones who has no hunger until it's time to go back on solids anyway - that's what happened for me (and I'm so grateful!! ). There is definitely going to be some mourning going on, and when you identify what it is, exactly, you are mourning, you may be surprised. I wanted to cry when I realized that there were no more "all you can eat" buffets in my future. After I thought about it for a while, I realized that after I was banded, EVERY day was going to be an "all you can eat" buffet!! One where I could eat as much as I wanted and still lose weight. Because, truthfully, most of the time after eating a small sampling, I didn't want anymore. And then, of course, there was the I couldn't eat any more - that was particularly helpful... lol Twice after I was banded I was really PISSED off that I could not eat more than my band allowed. I laughed at myself, and then thanked my band. At the time it wasn't so funny, but I reminded myself that this was exactly the kind of help I needed. Congrats on your upcoming date! You'll do great!!

I used to live at Grand Army Plaza, and felt that Brooklyn seemed waaaay out of the way. I personally think NJ is easier to commute from to get to NYC. But we don't all have to stay near each other - just have to be able to get to wherever we want to meet. HOJOs is Howard Johnson's. I think my stay at the one in Clifton was $60-$80 a night. I just checked online - 2 double beds/2 people for 9/23-25 is $83.30 per night 1 queen/2 people = $76.30

Tara - The get-together is for anyone - banded, unbanded, recently banded, not-so-recently banded, etc. Come!! Kathy - TMI = Too much information

ABSOLUTELY - without a doubt. I was self-pay, had to have my port repositioned, and eventually my band removed due to erosion, but have not regretted it for one second. My journey was probably 80% band, 20% mental. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit, because I did do a lot of emotional counseling before being banded, but my journey was so easy I felt like the band was doing most of the work. I wish I could be rebanded. My insurance doesn't cover banding, and the incidence of re-erosion seems to be higher than the initial risk... However, if I ever win the lotto, I just may get rebanded with the AMI band, which seems to have the lowest incidence of erosion to begin with, and see what happens. FYI - the AMI band is NOT an FDA approved band, so Americans are generally urged to be banded with the Inamed LapBand or the Johnson & Johnson band so that they can receive aftercare in the states. In the meantime... I'm trying to fall back on my therapy for compulsive eating, which hasn't been too effective lately, but to be honest, I'm not really working it, so... I have only myself to blame. Doing it solo means getting rid of the dieting mentality and making permanent changes to your lifestyle and eating style. Being banded means the same thing, but it's easier to do with the band's help, simply because quantity becomes less of an issue for most people.

SO = Significant Other Previously, SO seemed to be used more to describe a committed partner of a same sex couple - however, these days, the usage seems to be broadening to include partners in a committed relationship who are not married. At 44, "boyfriend" sounds so highschool (although I do still use that term), and doesn't really do justice to a relationship that has moved beyond dating, IMHO. So I have gone with the flow and am trying to update my vocabularly to more adequately reflect the type of relationship we have. We cohabitate, share similar goals for the future, share expenses, etc. Basically, for all intents and purposes, marriage without the legal mumbo-jumbo. He does not plan on being married again (I guess once was enough for him! ), but he's not planning on leaving me, either, so... He's my SO. TMI? lol

I'm cheap. I'd be flying into Newark, and then finding an el cheapo (albeit safe) hotel near whereever we plan on meeting. I used to live in NYC and on the cliffs of Hoboken, so I'm relatively familiar with getting around. My SO may come along as he has family in Clifton. If that's the case, we'll probably stay in the HoJo's there.

Oh - one more little comment. If ever, in the moderators' wisdom, a post is deleted, a note should be left in its place stating that the post was deleted by the moderators. That way the person who got deleted knows it was deleted on purpose, and they can contact the moderators for more information if they are unclear as to why their post disappeared. I think post deletion should only be used in the most extreme circumstances, with agreement by all moderators. If a post is deleted by anyone save the user who created it, every moderator should know about it and be able to defend the decision if asked by the user. No moderator should be deleting posts on their own personal whim, IMHO. The fact that a post was deleted should not be a secret.

Thanks, Bright!!! You're the best!!

Okay, this isn't succint, but here goes... I'm not sure exactly what happened, as I can't hang out here as often as I used to, so I am blissfully uninformed regarding the worst of the nastiness. It has been eluded to, but I have not read anything that succintly states 1)what happened, 2)why it happened, 3) how it was resolved. I do not need to know the particulars to know that multiple people were involved, best foots were not being put forward, and that as a result several innocent bystanders got sucked into picking sides and others left in disgust. Even though I am not as much of a regular as I used to be, I am still greatly saddened and fearful that LBT may go the way of other boards - that was really one of the great things about LBT - it was different, and really felt like a community. The hard thing is, it felt that way because of the MEMBERS - not because of the moderators! The MEMBERS had all belonged to other boards, and came here because they were disgusted with all the goings on at the other boards - the politics, the censorship, the "gospel according to XXX", the "my doctor's better than any other" cliques, places where no other viewpoint could be expressed or tolerated. Those of us who came here didn't want THAT kind of board, so WE conducted ourselves the way WE wanted our board to be - with kindness and support for all. This was not due to the moderators, or the board owner - it was due to the MEMBERS. We ALL need to take responsibility for our actions - moderators and members alike. Nastiness begets nastiness. I know that our moderators are volunteers, and are only human like the rest of us, but they HAVE to set an example, and canNOT indulge themselves in their tempers or opinions. They HAVE to be above the conniving, the taking sides - they MUST have a level head at all times, or refrain from making decisions in anger or frustration. Perhaps that's not fair to ask, but IMHO, that is what makes a good moderator. I personally look to Alexandra to restore tone and equilibrium. I feel as though I have always been able to count on her maturity and level-headedness when it comes to allowing people to express themselves, yet not letting certain controversial threads get too out of hand by locking down the smoldering embers. This is what a moderator needs to be. I have no idea how best to handle members that are going off the deep end and getting out of control, but the moderators need to have some guidelines that they agree upon for dealing with certain issues, and then they need to come up with clear guidelines for the members about what will or will not be tolerated. It is unfortunate that it has come to this. I personally preferred the time when the members were self-moderating, but perhaps that golden time has now passed. Or has it??? It is really up to the members to keep this a place that they want to come, if they don't care for a heavy moderator hand, now, isn't it? Perhaps everyone can take a deep breath, step back, own what is theirs, wipe the slate clean, and go forward from here a little wiser and a little more careful about how we conduct ourselves in the future.

Duets*** Pay It Forward*** Signs*** The Man Without A Face

The Power of One*** Independence Day*** Evolution***

Elephant Man*** - need lots of tissues (true story) MASK*** - love Cher! Again, lots of tissues The Mask Ice Castles - oh, yeah!! Gothika - THANKS! That's the one!! Awakenings*** Truly, anything with Robin Williams - he's the BOMB The Long Kiss Goodnight - yes!! DITTO, DITTO, DITTO on Morgan Freeman! What Women Want - ah, Mel Gibson... <3 Ooooh!!! Flashdance!!! I STILL think I could dance like that if I just practiced... lol Greencard - yes! The Ring The first "Scream" Single White Female The Hunger*** The Shining*** Terms of Endearment Wolf Hitchcock's "The Birds" Heathers Willow Firestarter Poltergeist*** Everafter - A Cinderella Story E.T. The Wedding Singer 50 First Dates Altered States Glasshouse Poison Ivy Point of No Return Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Jack Dead Poets Society Moscow on the Hudson Can I do it 'til I Need Glasses Bicentennial Man Phenomonen Seven Bruce Almighty And I always shop at www.half.com first. Now, don't be blaming me if you spend all your rent money there - I'm just passing out info - you're responsible for your own finances!!! lol I feel a half.com marathon coming on.... YIKES!!! Can anyone do an intervention?!?! :eek :eek :eek

The info I know about erosion: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2256 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2725 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2250 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2274 My removal story: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2288 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2372&page=1&pp=15 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2298 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2406

I'm the erosion poster child here, but I loved my band and would definitely recommend it to anyone considering being banded. You need to educate yourself, and be willing to accept the risks - occasionally things don't go as planned, but for the most part people's banding journeys are enjoyable and uneventful. If you can call losing weight without suffering and keeping it off "uneventful"... Erosion info: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2256 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2725 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2250 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2274 My removal info: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2288 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2372&page=1&pp=15 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2298 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2406

Those are the "Don't miss these FOR SURE" movies... I love thrillers. Oh, also, that movie where Halle berry plays the psychiatrist that gets committed for the murder of her husband was a good one - what was that called? And that Geena Davis movie where she was a highly trained assassin with amnesia - that was good, too! Oh - the Michael Douglas flick "The Game" - really good suspense in that as well. There are so many, and my brain is sooooo small... lol

Hi Caroline - I was pretty darn successful while I was banded, but since my unbanding... not so much... :cry But heck, I'll give you advice anyhow!! lol Okay, the trick when you're not as tight as you'd like to be, for whatever reason, is to maximize what your pouch CAN do for you. So you have to think, "How can I get my pouch to get full and stay full for the maximum amount of time?" Common knowledge: 1. Cold drinks generally tighten restriction 2. Hot Drinks generally loosen restriction 3. Water-loading gives an early pouch stretch, the sensation of which can last for some time, even after the pouch empties 4. Foods that do not "dissolve" with chewing tend to pass more slowly through the pouch - i.e. meats, raw veggies, fibrous things 5. Drinking sooner than 1 hour after eating washes food through the pouch faster, minimizing the amount of time to feel full, leading to return of hunger sooner 6. Exercise is a natural appetite suppressant 7. Thirst is often mistaken for hunger - most people are slightly dehydrated 8. sleep deprivation increases stress, which can result in weight gain Based on the above knowledge, this would be my suggestion to you to try: 1. Make sure you're drinking all of your Water every day - .5 oz per pound of body weight. Water and Fat Loss The levels of oxygen in the bloodstream are greater when the body is well hydrated. The more oxygen the body has readily available the more fat it will burn for energy. Without the presence of oxygen the body cannot utilize stored fat for energy efficiently. Not only will the body burn more fat when well hydrated but because of the increased oxygen levels you will also have more energy. http://www.tbfinc.com/water.htm 2. Get a good night's sleep - go to bed earlier than you're used to. 3. Do a brisk, 30 minute walk each day. 4. Water load before meals. Try to drink a quart of water in the hour before you eat, and then drink as much icy-cold water as you can, as quickly as you can, 15 minutes before your meal. 5. Eat solid Proteins and lots of raw/cooked veggies. 6. NO liquids for an hour after meals! 7. Plan, plan, plan. Plan your meals beforehand, so you know already what you're going to eat. Make your lunch and take it with you to work. PLAN on having Snacks, and plan what you're going to use as a snack, and make sure you have it with you so you have a better chance of sticking to your plan. Good luck, and I hope some of this helps!! I need to do this myself... lol

The Green Mile*** The Fisherking*** The Princess Bride*** Finding Nemo*** Mrs. Doubtfire The BirdCage On Golden Pond Braveheart Cliffhanger Ferngully Silence of the Lambs Halloween Psycho Stigmata Shrek (but not #2 - YUCK!) Toystory Monsters, Inc. Already mentioned: Miss Congeniality Edward Scissorhands*** While You Were sleeping Shawshank Redemption*** Overboard Benny & Joon Steel Magnolias There's Something About Mary*** The classics, of course: Wizard of Oz Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Frosty Bambi As soon as I post I'll think of a million more... lol

Whoo hooo!!!! It's Teresa's bday!!! Many happy wishes for a wonderful day!!!