gd;dagjlkg

My name is Becky, I'm 28 years old and here is my story. 
Throughout most of high school I was at a healthy weight and in overall good health.  In my senior year of high school I had several events happen that left me feeling like a lost and broken teenager without any idea of what to do after school ended.  In my sorrow and confusion, for emotional comfort - I turned to food.  As I sit here typing this story, I still remember driving to a local Wendy's drive-thru, buying enough food for two grown men and pulling to a desolate area of the parking lot to wolf down every morsel.  After I'd eaten, I'd sit in my car, leaning back in the seat to relieve the pressure from my stuffed stomach.  I'd lick the salt from my lips and sip whatever biggie-sized drink I had bought until it was gone, then I'd pop the lid and crunch on the ice until I had consumed everything edible from the meal. 
I felt high each time I did that, which was usually once a day.  It was as if stuffing my stomach would fill my heart - and for a time it did.  It was as if it didn't matter if people loved me or even cared about me for that matter, food would always be there for me, so what else could I possibly need?  At age 18, a month after high school, I moved to the Seattle area and at age 19 I started working for the Dept of Navy where I have had a successful career thus far. 
My life has improved from the end of my oppressive and dark high school days.  My mom and two sisters moved to the same area, in my career I've gradually climbed the ladder and continue to do so and I've made some great friends.  Not much in the way of romance, but food has helped me ensure that...  But what did that matter? Food has been there for me through thick and thin - or should I say thick and thicker?  Over 10 years I went from a size 7 and around 120 lbs, to at my biggest, a size 24 and 260 lbs.  I suppose for a time I didn't care.  I felt 'mostly' happy and at the times I felt worse I'd just go grab a burger, tacos, a pizza or anything I could stuff myself on. 
But food can be a drug and it took me almost 10 years to learn this.  Each time I'd cram myself with high calorie foods I'd feel great!  The food would stuff me for a few hours, the grease, salt and sugar were my friends.  But after a time they'd leave me, and I'd be left alone with extra pounds weighing me down and more hunger.  So I'd eat again, my fairweather friends would join me for a time and when they left again I felt down.  The short and vicious cycle turned round and round.  And of course fat wasn't the only remnant of overeating.  I got high cholesteral, high blood pressure, PCOS, pre-diabetes, and a slew of other side affects as the years slid by.  My dear friends were actually my hateful enemies, and yet I still loved and cherished them.
Last year I decided to make some changes in my life.  I weighed approximately 230 lbs, wore a tight size 20 or loose size 22 and had really started to loath myself.  It took about six months of talking back and forth to myself before I actually decided to move forward with changing the importance of food in my life on an emotional level.  It was Noveber of 2010 when I started seeing a nutritionist.  I'd go once a month and pay out of pocket since my insurance doesn't cover it.  It consisted of about 5 minutes, the Dr coming in, checking how much I weighed, taking a brief look at my food journal and telling me that I needed to eat less and exercise more. 
A good friend of mine has been a dear support to me.  She didn't approve of the nutritionist and his lack of caring and has stepped up and helped me on many levels over the past several months.  While for a time I continued to see the nutritionist despite the lack of any good it did, I began getting together with her once a week to cook healthy meals.  It has been wonderful for me.  Each Thursday we bake chicken, steam veggies, (or any other healthy ideas we come up with) and read labels on healthy foods she's been buying to discuss the benefits.  She is very fit and while our dinners don't always fill me the way I'm used to, it takes away the hunger and I leave feeling good.  I've even picked up several of her habits at home.
Over 5 months I lost approximately 10 lbs, down to 220.  While this isn't huge, I was only making small changes, so I can only expect a small difference for a small amount of effort.  During this time, which was December 2010 to April 2011, I was also preparing for Lap Band surgery.  I began the vigourous requirements my insurance company required for their approval and worked daily to cut my intake of food as well as making sure it was healthier.  Finally on May 3rd I was notified by my Dr's office that they had received approval from my insurance and my surgery was scheduled for May 16, 2011. 
I have now had the Lap Band for one week.  I've already been struggling with trying to adjust to sipping liquids slowly and only eating foods such as yogurt and sugar free popcicles.  Today I had half a cup of pureed veggie soup.  I'm very excited to have added something new to my diet.  While the week has been difficult and I actually cried quite severly for a few hours last Saturday, I spend each minute of the day that I can, focusing on the positive change I've made for myself.  Now that I've had the surgery I realize how difficult it is on you mentally and emotionally, in fact I'd say psychologically you could consider me a bit of a wreck, but I know this is for a short time.  I have started on my journey to being healthier, I am now understanding the true significance of eating smaller portions and I understand how more than just your weight levels change - your whole being changes.
While I struggle daily so far and have had my fair share of tears in the brief time since surgery, I remain steadfast in my belief that I made a life-altering change that, once I get used to, will be the best thing I've ever done for myself.