This is a great topic. I've also struggled with depression for the last 20 years +. I believe I've always been depressed even as a child, but was only diagnosed as an adult. Anyway, over the years I've been off and on the anti-depressants and have finally accepted that I will probably need to take meds the rest of my life. It took a while, but after several failed attempts at coming off, I was convinced. There is no shame in this disease, it is like having diabetes and if you are sick, you take the medicine right? Well, the same goes for depression. You may have situational depression which will come and go over a normal lifetime and you may need to take the meds temporarily or you could be like me and have a more chronic form of the disease. In either case, acceptance is the key.
One of the things that I did before surgery is to discuss it and my current mental health state with my PCP as well as my psychiatrist. A lot of my depression lately has been added to because of the excess weight and not being able to be as active as I like to be and I went into this surgery with eyes wide open. Losing weight will not cure my depression but it may allow me to adjust my meds down. That is a win for me.
In addition, adding pain meds to depression can and most always will make it worse. The pain meds are depressants after all. I don't think I was affected as much because I was still on my anti-depressants and I tried not to overdo the pain meds because I knew what they did to my mental health state. The key here is to educate yourself about how depression, meds, situations affect you. Everyone is different.
Hoping things get better for you. One day at a time and reach out to whatever resources you need to help. You do not have to do this alone.
Bridget