sarsar

Georgia, I forgot to mention before that I love the pic of you on the beach! You are adorable, I wish I could give you a big hug. I will one day when we meet when I'm on my way to Texas.

Cathy, hope all goes well in the upcoming weeks. Don't worry about 5:2. I would just try and be mindful of what you're eating. Sometimes during stressful situations that's all you can do. I hope you post some pics of your new house when you get the keys.

Florinda, we haven't heard from you. What is your status? Are you still in Germany? Please let us know how you are.

Sheryl, I agree with what you are saying. Surgeons do thousands of these surgeries and there will be complications. I'm still waiting to hear from her as to why she believes Dr. A botched the surgery. Maybe he did, you never know. It can happen here and in Mexico. I saw the link A posted about her condition. That is something that can happen to anyone. I would like to know what specifically Dr. A did that made this happen. That's really what I'm interested in knowing. If he is doing something wrong then I would like to know so I can get it taken care of or watch for it in the future. Like I said before, what really bothers me is that Dr. A may have lied about what happened to the patient that passed away. I don't know if he did. I know when it was talked about on the board months ago that I looked into the situation. Since then, I haven't recommended anyone personally to go to Dr. A. This is because I have been on these boards long enough to know the craziness that goes on between coordinators in Mexico and I know that I wouldn't ever know the truth. I was stunned when I first heard about it because I had a deep respect for Dr. A and his team. My experience there was wonderful. Anyway, those are just my thoughts on the situation. I know that Dr. A did say that we should go once a year and get a scope to make sure that everything was ok and working properly. I have never done that because I haven't had any issues.

<p>sarsar, I wish they would tell more specifically what he did "wrong". Am I remembering correctly that Aceves did really small sleeves? I know that is a risk factor for some of the things they mentioned, but I could not frankly tell what the actual error was based on the post.</p> <p> </p> <p>Here is the hard cold truth - people do have longer term complications from bariatric surgery. Aceves has done hundreds and hundreds of surgeries, i don't know that it means that he does them "wrong" - but rather that he is a high visibility, high volume, well known foreign doc.</p> <p> </p> <p>I remember a couple of years ago there was a rather vocal person on this site that had a leak after surgery at the practice I went to. According to her they were practically the devil... did everything wrong... lied to her, were incompetent etc etc. I cannot tell you how opposite my experience was so I take these rants with a grain of salt. If I have complications a year from now, i might suddenly hate my surgeon too.</p>

As far as Aceves doing small sleeves... I don't remember that being the case. I don't even remember what size mine was done . I know I asked but he wasn't one that went small just to make it small.

Did mean to send that yet. I'm getting used to a new phone. I meant to say I'm not freaking out.

The thing that bothers me the most about what was posted is that she is saying dr. Aceves lied about the patient that died. When that was first posted by another member months ago I didn't know how I felt about it. I contacted dr Aceves to find out his side of the story. He did indeed say that it was a health condition that wasn't told to him. To find out that is a lie is very disheartening .

So far my surgery has been a success. I am noticing lately that I seem to have more reflux by nighttime although I know this happens to a lot of sleeve patients.

Yes I agree Sheryl. I sent Susan a fb pm to ask her more specific questions. I'm not creaking out or anything just trying to learn the facts and see if there is anything I need to watch out for.

Wow! Dr. Aceves was my surgeon. I don't even know what to think.

Love the picture use and Cathy! So glad you were able to meet in person.

Pear

Sheryl I'm glad you are also on the vets forum to help watch over it. I've been staying off of their bc it drives me crazy to see people posting when they aren't a vet. Personally I don't even want people replying that aren't vets. If I want a reply from a newbie to something posted I would post it on the regular forum. I like it to be a place just for vets alone.

I was actually surprised myself what a difference just 10 pounds mAde.

Cathy and Sue....you better take some pics for us and post them. How fun they you get to meet!

Sue, how fun! You are so adorable! Love the pics.

Sorry I went MIA for a bit. My boys are on spring break so we decided to take a few days and head south to KY to visit my daughter. What a nice relaxing weekend! I wish I could have stayed there forever. I am very ready to be out of WI. I guess we will know when the time is right.

We came home to reality as my inlaws are still having issues. My mil seems to be having more issues. She was found outside by the car in the garage with her bags packed trying to leave her house. Thankfully she didn't find any car keys. I'm not sure how she got out bc the doors were supposed to be locked. My fil is trying to recover from open heart surgery and he cannot take care of her the way he needs to but he is not coming to grips with what is really going on here. He keeps thinking she will get better. We keep telling him her brain doesn't work right anymore. He is 85 and she is almost 88 so it's not as though they are younger older people. They are hitting almost 90. It is such a mess and I don't know what's going to happen. I have a bil who lives nearby the inlaws and he is also in denial of how bad things really are so he's making things worse.

Then to top it off, my dad ended up in the hospital today because he was having some issues with his heart. So things are still crazy around here.

I was thinking the other day that I'm so happy I'm at a normal weight now because when I was obese all of this would have been so much harder to handle.

Sorry I haven't been able to come on here and encourage all of you as much as I would like. It's just not possible right now. Please know I think about all of you and I know one day things will slow down and I will have more time to be around.

Sheryl, on our trip to KY and Nashville, I saw lots of horses. I thought of you. Glad you are feeling better. Congrats on the weight loss even though it didn't happen under the best of circumstances. I hope things are looking up for you. I read that your counselor says you aren't depressed but it's grief. When I read that I wondered what the difference is? Did she tell you? I feel like depression in some ways is terrible grief? Oh, I also wanted to ask if the plastics surgeon said anything about losing weight after surgery? Is there a certain amount you can lose before it might have a negative affect (or is it effect) on your results?

Georgia, I know this is late but a few days ago you asked about our shapes. I am a total pear. Tiny on the top with bigger butt and hips. I have always been this way and it hasn't changed. Most of the skin I want removed is on my butt/hips.

I know I wanted to respond to more of you but I need to run and pick up my son from baseball. I'll try to get on again later.

Denise, any news on the pregnant ex? I seriously have a hard time believing she is pregnant. What is Bill saying about all of this?

Denise, my doctor gave me a script for a med called Linzess. It's for Constipation. It seems to be helping me. My dr said she has prescribed it before for her patients and most have great results from it. I wouldn't say my results are great but it's better than it was before taking it.

Pretty sure Denise is talking about what Kelly wrote the other day.

Are you talking about the reason the vets need a forum?

I have overwhelmed with PMs lately all saying more or less "tell me exactly what to do so I can transform like you did"

I openly share my photos with the intention of inspiring and I do look different...but I am also a bit taken aback because we all know that it is both very simple and very hard.

Yes, that's what I was talking about. You know just how to say things!

Sheryl I LOVE what you wrote in the vets group. It was perfect. I think you should start a new topic in that group quoting what you wrote. If you don't want to do you mind if I do?

OK, I have been sick, and just not feeling like coming here,or much of anything else... but I'm back. I have been eating a little crazy, over by 700 cals yesterday... have been writing it down...making myself do it... Hanging around the tippy top of my bounce range. Missed two days of work and two dance classes...I figured I'd better get my butt back her to catch up before there were 100 pages between where I left off and the new end of the line. My fasting has been pretty pathetic... maybe one real day in the last 10. Thank you all for sharing. You are such real women. Love ya all! I am still working on the family tree "book" and its pretty fun. I am finding out our little renegade, ragtag, mainly agricultural salt of the earth DNA doners come from some blue blood. Of course most of them were scoundrels, warlords and a few even were beheaded and poisoned... not to mention the plague. Who needs Braveheart or the Tudors? Bit by bit I am identifying some of the photos in the family albums... some great farm shots, horses pulling plows, pulling carriages, being ridden by farm ladies and gents. chicken coops, green houses and garden fields... What ever the family found dear.

Last night my husband told me I should "get over" the idea that Im an artist... that I'm not. When he's mad at the world, he doesn't mind taking a low blow at me. I have been "on the shelf" for almost a year, however I am in a show opening tonight, and have offers of several more if I want them. My ideas/feelings are just too big for my work right now. I hope to change that soon. Learning to use the camera, my birdwatching adventures, my family history research for the book... have all just been more interesting, and i hope they will inform my new work when it comes. Only I can say when I am or am not an artist. It took me years to commit to calling my self an "artist" and not just a person who makes art or likes art, or the like... I take the profession too seriously for that...for heavens sake, Michelangelo was an artist .... it is more than just making x amount of objects, and is a way of seeing the world as well. I asked him if he thought it was a good idea to insult me in ways that makes me hate him. He sort of slowed down and went back to his business... and in a few minutes was putting on a better mood.... he does not know how to apologize in a straight forward manor. Its a shame.

Missed you Kim! You are an artist. What a wonderful example you are for your husband. Maybe just maybe one day he will learn to apologize. There is hope don't stop believing my friend. I have had ppl tell me this about the things that have made me feel hatred in my hubs in the past. Hugs to you.

Isnt it funny how insight can strike when you least expect it - I was cleaning the cat boxes and realizations, or words I guess started to flood.

I wont go into gory detail - but I had a horrific childhood, filled with terrifying violence and sexual abuse from my alcoholic step-dad (he died from cirrhosis long ago.) I have done a lot of time on the couch, and on meds and am good. I usually keep it to myself, but it is also not a secret with those closest to me.

I guess I feel like I am starting to wake up - 50 this year. Feels like I am just opening my eyes - I too must be getting into some of the serious stuff. This just poured out in the last 30 minutes - I apologize if this feels triggering to anyone.

"Always living with a vague expectation that enlightenment and a healing of the old, old wounds would strike one day like a bolt of lightening - or maybe gently like awaking from some bad dream. The longer I am alive I am coming to understand that this probably isn't going to happen.

That everyday we fight, some days we gain ground - some days we lose it - a little on some days, some days a lot. It is little victories over time - each adding up.

All the years of therapy, self-help, support groups...its one moment at a time - over time.

Years of hiding in pain, burying yourself under blankets, under hundreds of lbs of unburned calories, behind the walls and doors of your home - seeking solace in your surroundings- being made fun of for being different by the people you trust the most.

again, and again, and again.

Just be numb

Just don't look

maybe then it wont be true

what is real and what happened will cease to be so

Learning to not turn away - not to hide is hard work.

Bravery is not for sissies.

What is courage?

Why so much fear of what happened lifetimes ago?

What you put up with from others

How poorly you treated yourself for so long.

This is like learning to see

to speak

to walk

to feel

for the first time maybe. Is that old me true? Is that still me? What am I? Who am I?

I looked at a snapshot of the August 2009 Goddard residency and I can finally see how malignant my despair and mistreatment of myself is - in my weight - the symptom that becomes the focus and the problem. A heavy horse collar of shame - its like being imprisoned in the stocks - immobile, every step pain, every glance from others cruel - like being flayed alive every moment of every day.

Maybe if I am lucky this fire of shame will burn me right to ash.

Deep, deep sadness and hopelessness

Try so hard to change - and it never seems to stick - I cant win. I could never win.

I am doing the same thing to myself now with my belief in my abilities as a teacher and an artist - hardly a day passes that I am not wracked with fear, doubt, and the battle against my own weaknesses. Here you are again, more exposed even now. No matter how hard you wish you had that magic lamp that would take away the anxiety, the panic, the terror you feel everyday at just breathing - there is no such thing.

It is part of you

it IS you

Where is my strength? Do I even have any?

The only respite will come from within yourself - for yourself.

How the f**k do I fix the broken stuff

I weep now at even being able to access these feelings.

Fraught

Frightening

Breathe

Dig the knives out of the back and stand up straight.

Look it right in the f**king eye

step forward

step up

Let go"

Yes! Thank you, Kelly. Thank you. Hugs.

Sheryl, thinking of you, too! I like that you said no big changes in 2014. Sounds like that's a wise decision. I hope the meds help. Be aware that you may have to try a few different kinds to find a med that doesn't affect you in a bad way. You could get it on the first try but don't be discouraged if you don't. For some reason I didn't picture you working from home. You seem so active and outgoing that I would have never thought you worked from home. lol

Sheila, congrats on getting a 4.0! Wtg, girl! That is awesome. I hope you are able to soon find a job that you will enjoy.

Well, I haven't fasted at all this week and only one day last week. Our lives have been a bit turned around while my MIL was here to stay with us. It was sad to find out how much she has declined. She's not even able to bathe herself anymore so I had to do it. She can't be alone, ever. She is usually in good spirits but in the evening sometimes she will have an episode where she turns into a mean person and tries to leave. It's all very sad. She has the attention span of a 2 year old. She can't read anymore or do anything with numbers or time. She usually remembers who her children are but sometimes forgets. Now we have to figure out how to get her home care because my FIL can't do it himself. I am sure she will eventually end up in a home. A lot of stress going on here but the hubs and I are trying to stay calm. It's hard when there are 6 siblings all together trying to work things out. I'm just giving it to God because, for me, that's all I can do.

Spring seems to have sprung for us! The warmer weather has lifted my spirits tremendously. I'm thankful for that.

I read our posts and think of what a diverse group we have. I think an outsider could read our group and think it would make a great movie, or maybe soap opera! Thinking of everyone, so much going on for all of us!

Denise, you have got to be kidding me! Do you think she's telling the truth?

Florinda, thinking of you. Please fill us in asap. Hang in there, ok.

Denise, I love the picture! You two look happy. I'm happy for you!

Cathy, we call it the dump here in the US. I love going through everything and getting rid of stuff. That is one great thing about moving. When do you move into your new place? You may have said but I don't remember.

Chia seeds don't do anything for me anymore. The first few times I used them they worked but not anymore. I use flax every day in my Protein Drink, too. Yesterday, the doctor gave me a prescription that is supposed to help with going to the bathroom. The name of it is Linzess. She said that many have had good results with it. It is to be taken every day. I'm going to give it a try and see how it works. I hope it works.

I also found out yesterday from some blood work that my thyroid is going a bit crazy. Up and down and I can't get it stable. I am going to go to a specialist and see what can be done. My blood work also showed that I am in the beginning of menopause. I know my periods have been changing over the last year. I feel too young to be going through this. I'm 41. Oh well, what can I do? I just have to go along with it.

My MIL is now at our house for a while. It is sad to see her with Alzheimer's. She doesn't know what she is talking about a lot of the time. She tells lots of stories from years ago and she thinks they happened today. She knows her husband had heart surgery and is in rehab. She knows who her children are still but doesn't remember all of the names. She is pleasant so far which is nice. We were told she tries to wander and got out of our BIL house one day so we hide the keys and lock the doors. I'm glad our family is able to spend this time with her before she her memory is completely gone. Her and I have had a rocky relationship. She wasn't happy her son was marrying me because I had a child. She caused a lot of problems for us and wasn't very nice to me. A few years ago she apologized about everything. I'm glad she doesn't remember any of that now.

Happy Friday, ladies!

Florinda, have you done any research on MS and weight loss/gain? I wonder if there is a correlation with the weight and calories and MS. I believe stress is huge for our weight. If I am highly stressed I hold on to pounds. For you, the stress also exacerbates the MS symptoms. As I have told all of you before, I don't weigh every day. I know that I bounce between 140-145. I weigh about once a week. If I am eating bad one or two days I don't torture myself on the scale the next day. I know that it will be up and I know that I choose to eat that way. Now I would be in denial if I did this for days or weeks at a time and decided not to check my weight. This could be different for you, Florinda, with the MS. Those are my thoughts.

Denise, I'm anxious to hear if the new machine will help with the sleeping situation. Let us know. I want to see a pic of you and Bill! Does he have any hobbies that could take up some of his time?

Sheryl, I can't wait to see your 6 month pictures. The work you had done looks incredible. If you have a specific list of questions you asked when you went for consults, I would love for you to share those if you don't mind. This was my second consult. The first one was fine but I didn't like the vibe I got from the surgeon. Little things bugged me like his office wasn't very clean, when he showed me pics on the ipad there were finger print smudges all over it. He was wearing sweat pants under his white lab coat. Little things that made me think if he wasn't very tidy with things like that would he be paying attention to the "little things" on me? His prices were also outrageous.

Sheila, congrats on being done with school. Very happy for you! Wonderful news!

Hi Ladies, I've been reading every couple days trying to keep up. Things have been crazy around here. My FIL had his surgery last week. He is doing well. He's in a nursing home for a couple of weeks for rehab. He is actually in great physical condition for his age of 85 so that has made healing a lot easier for him. He had a heart valve that needed to be replaced.

My MIL has Alzheimer's so she can't be alone. She is going back and forth between here and my BIL's house.

It has been very busy because all of this has been taking place in Illinois which is about 1.5 - 2 hours from our house in WI. Also the family dynamics with his family are so out of whack that you wouldn't even believe it if I tried to explain it all to you! I'm hoping things will settle down soon.

Florinda, I read that you had new low but then bounced back up. It will go back down. Hang in there. I am sure the stress of everything has caused you to feel exhausted. Take care of yourself.

Sheryl, I'm interested in hearing what the doctor says about your injury. Do you do any stretching?

My mind is drawing a complete blank on everything I have read and the things that I wanted to say.

Oh, I did want to say that I went to a plastic consult yesterday. I absolutely loved this surgeon. I just got a really good feeling from him. I saw his work and it looks amazing. I also know someone personally who has had work done by him. For the lower body lift, including Lipo, and Tummy Tuck the cost is $13,000. This price seems very reasonable. I would still probably want work done on my inner thighs but he wouldn't want to do that surgery at the same time and the skin on my tummy and butt are what bothers me the most. So we will see. When things calm down here my husband and I will talk about it more. I dream of the day when I don't have to wear the Spanx anymore!

Kim, Denise, Georgia, Kelly, Sheila, Dorrie, Wanda, Sue, Cathy, Florinda, Sheryl...hope I'm not forgetting anyone...Hugs to all of you wonderful ladies!

Hi Ladies! I've been reading but not posting much. Things have been absolutely crazy around here. My father in law has to have open heart surgery on Monday and the family drama surrounding this has been off the charts. It's sad actually.

Georgia, glad you can help Kim on the vets board.

Thinking of you all.

I love all of the pics, all of you look wonderful! I hope to update more soon.

Congratulations, Cathy!! You have such a good attitude about these changes. I'm excited for you.

Good to hear from you, Sheila. Glad Piper is doing well. Sorry about your friend. Suicide is so sad.

Ladies, I am excited to let you all know that I have will be meeting and training my first clients on Saturday! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.

Love this! You both look wonderful. Congratulations on getting healthy together! There are quite a few couples who have had WLS at or around the same time, I'm sure they will chime in.