ReJoyce

<p>My name is Joyce and I am 45, married with a 19 yr old son and 18 yr old step-daughter.&nbsp; I have battled with my weight since I was 14.&nbsp; I met my best friend, &quot;Food&quot;, in junior high.&nbsp; I was extremely shy growing up, so I was &quot;that girl&quot;.&nbsp; You remember the one.&nbsp; The one the school took great pleasure in teasing.&nbsp; So when I got home each day, my &quot;dear friend&quot; was there to comfort me.<br />
&nbsp; As a result, I gained weight and was teased all the more.&nbsp; Oh what a vicious circle.<br />
&nbsp; We moved from Delaware to North Carolina when I was 15.&nbsp; I was 5'2&quot; and 185lbs at the time.&nbsp; I was excited about the move, thinking I would leave my nemesis behind me.&nbsp; I didn't realize there were nemesis everywhere, so the teasing continued.<br />
&nbsp; Soon after this, my mother became very ill.&nbsp; The doctors discovered she had a bad heart with 14 yrs of damage.&nbsp; I spent that summer taking care of her.&nbsp; I turned 16 that fall and with that, new changes.&nbsp; My self-esteem was at its lowest, on top of all the normal teenage issues.&nbsp; I decided to change and lost weight over the next summer.<br />
&nbsp; I maintained and met my husband at 18, married at 19 and my mother passed when I was 20.&nbsp; My heart was broken and my old friend, Food, returned to comfort me.&nbsp; I can remember that day so well, I ate so much I thought I would be sick.<br />
&nbsp; A few years later, in my mid 20's, I decided once again to make changes.&nbsp; I hardly ate, or the right things.&nbsp; I was never in danger of anorexia, but I still wasn't healthy.&nbsp; I was about 127lbs when I was 25.&nbsp; I was happy and all was well in the world.<br />
&nbsp; Then we tried to have a baby.&nbsp; I had a couple of miscarriages and turned to my old friend again.&nbsp; I had gained roughly 35lbs by the time I was pregnant with my son.&nbsp; After having him, I lost a little, but with all the changes I couldn't seem to focus on me.&nbsp; (part of that is my co-dependent nature...more on that later).&nbsp; My weight crept up and in 5 years was 260 plus.&nbsp; I stopped weighing myself, but I know it was over 260.&nbsp; My self-esteem was once again rock bottom and in the next&nbsp;4 yrs my husband and I were divorcing.&nbsp; I couldn't eat and got down to about 179lbs that next year.<br />
&nbsp; Unfortunately, I did the dreaded &quot;rebound&quot;.&nbsp; I married 3 weeks after my divorce to a man I barely knew.&nbsp; ( WHAT was I thinking?!?!?!?)&nbsp; Soon after I realized he was an alcoholic.&nbsp; This is how I came to learn I was co-dependant.&nbsp; For 4 1/2 years, I endured his drunken state.&nbsp; I was on the verge of insanity, literally.&nbsp; I asked the doctor for something to help and he gave me some samples.&nbsp; I put them in my dresser drawer and would periodically look at them, then put them back in.&nbsp; Finally I pulled them out and said, &quot;I can take these and mask the problem, OR, do something about the problem&quot;.&nbsp; 3 weeks later we split.&nbsp; I CANNOT put into words the shear relief I felt.&nbsp; By this point, I was 260 plus again.<br />
&nbsp; I took a WELL needed sabbatical and focused on my son as well as myself.&nbsp; He was 14 and I was 40.&nbsp; I had a hysterectomy that August and decided to use that to help me lose weight again.&nbsp; I tried to eat smaller portions and with the relief of being out of that situation, it came a little easier.&nbsp; I got down to 202lbs.&nbsp; Once again it crept up about 20lbs when I met my current husband.&nbsp; He is awesome and I am so beyond thankful to have him in my life.&nbsp; I took my time and he was well worth the wait.&nbsp; We were married this past November.&nbsp; I was about 235lbs and have since gained to 248.</p>