Damn.Blonde

So I will begin by saying that I am new here even though I have been reading this forum for months. I didn't want to join just to "jinx" myself so I waited. This past week has been the biggest emotional roller coaster for me. I submited to insurance Monday morning and by Tuesday I viewed my insurance website to see I had been instantly denied for the surgery. I reached out to my Dr's office who said they would contact them to find out whats going on. I decided that I was going to the bank to see if I could get a loan for the surgery amount because no way did I just work this hard to be told no. After I was laughed at and made to feel like a completely worthless human being from the loan officer because "why would she give someone like me a $12000 loan when I don't own a home and my car is not paid off" ...Needless to say i went home and cried my eyes out in bed feeling completely defeated and hopeless.... So yesterday was my 24th birthday the entire day was rough...I cried alot and didn't really feel like the day was going to get better until 5:31pm...The Insurance case worker for my Drs called and explained that she was informed that today was my birthday and wanted to wish me a Happy Birthday (At this point I wanted to tell her to shove it and not call back). Then she asked if I had recieved some awesome birthday presents and offered another to me... She told me I was approved and the insurance had made a mistake. At this point I'm sure you can guess...Yup I cried AGAIN! So now I wait till monday to Schedule my Surgery date which I am hoping is the week of June the 13th more specific I would really like the 16th but its not really my decision in the end....HOWEVER Now that I have gone through the "Hot Mess" of emotions for the past 3 days I am starting to feel a new one... Aniexty Here is my basic thought...I really love bread and I know the psych I've been going to says I will be able to work through all these emotions but I mean I really love bread ( My rear end throughly agrees as well) I'm having so much anxiety about losing food. Is this normal? I know breaking up with food is part of the stages of grief for this surgery and I know I can do it...I just feel so sad about it..you know? So I guess for this post I have 2 questions.... Is this normal to feel aniexty about losing a food? AND What food is hard for you to break up with?

All of those sound really fun however mine will be 2 things...Short and a form fitting non-black sexy dress! I haven't worn shorts in 4 summers...I'm mortified of my knees and thighs so once the weight is gone I'm going to old navy for shorts! The dress is the most important though! Short, Form fitting, and a color other than black! I would like to be wearing one when my man comes home from his deployment but that will be in Feb and lets be honest I'm not wearing a skimpy dress in the dead of winter!

Name it a Sexy exotic man name!!

OMG ME 2!! I actually just got out of the shower and looked at myself and the mirror and did my normal EHHH moment...Then I started thinking I hope I can wear panties during the surgery...Wait I can't I need to be naked just in case..O man my boobs are not pretty right now and dear lord my "lady Parts" will be showing the world all my glory..OMG what if they judge me...Then I pulled myself back from crazy and realized if they laugh at me then I wont know I'll be out...But it really does make me think that it would be really funny to find censor stickers and put them on my "areas" before surgery!!! Personally I have mini panic attacks all the time thinking about surgery but then I remember that this procedure is not high risk and the pain, pressure, etc will all be worth it. Basically my only advice is to not think about it because you'll drive yourself crazy!

Ok so I have to ask...Sex life wise...I know that for woman it is so much more emotional than physical but I'm really hoping it will not only help with feeling sexy but also making me want to have it more often not just because I feel better but because I want to keep up with my man. Is there studies that prove losing weight will increase your sex drive? Beyond the mental issues we woman face? For all of you that have replied with amazing support thank you so much! You ever know that you can and will be able to do something or let go but you still question losing it...that's where I am! So I will continue to enjoy my bread for the next few weeks and hope that I can enjoy it again during my "second Life" just not as much!