MlkPas

I haven't had any hair loss at all that I can tell. I wonder if it's because I'm a lightweight and have been losing weight very slowly?

Hi, Melinda! Welcome to the losers' bench! I'm just over five months out and life is good! Like you, I had a terrible time with Protein drinks at the beginning. I finally gave up on the powdered shakes altogether and now I drink the Premier Nutrition ready-to-drink chocolate protein shakes. I get them at costco but you can also buy them online here: Premier Nutrition - Diet, organic, and low carb, Protein Bars, protein powders, protein supplements and health supplements and here: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Premier-Protein-Shakes-18-11oz-shakes/dp/B001O213RM/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1282520693&sr=8-3-fkmr1]Amazon.com: Premier Protein - High Protein Ready To Drink Shakes, 18-11oz shakes: Health &…[/ame]. I have one for Breakfast every morning and at 30 grams of protein in 180 calories, it gives me a good jumpstart on my protein fo the day. I'm a lightweight and I've been a very slow loser, but I'm more than halfway to my goal, and less than 6 pounds from a "normal" BMI, so I'm happy with my progress even though it hasn't been as fast as I'd hoped. I have really challenged myself to NOT make myself miserable every time the scale slows down or stops, and for the most part it's worked out well for me. One thing that has just been wonderful is that almost all of my compulsive eating urges are gone. I still have "head hunger," but the reality is that I just plain cannot eat like I used to, so binging like I used to is out of the question. And I am constantly -- like, every. single. meal. -- amazed at how little I eat and how satisfied I am with that little bit. It feels so good to be a light eater instead of the volume eater I had been all my life! I only started doing much exercise a month or so ago, and I've really been enjoying it. I work with a trainer at the gym twice a week, and take a dance class twice a week, and try to get in a good long walk at least once or twice a week. It feels great to be getting stronger! And the exercise seems to have jump-started my weight loss some, too. Hang in there and know that it will get easier every week from now on!

I feel a moral obligation not to tell an outright lie if asked directly whether I have had WLS. That's it. I don't feel any obligation to volunteer the information, or even to answer the question. But I don't lie, and that includes lying about this. As for the stigma and education and so on, I don't feel an obligation to single-handedly take on the task of educating everybody with whom I come in contact. I don't ever participate in any conversations that perpetuate anti-fat bias or stereotypes, but beyond that I make any disclosures on a case-by-case basis.

I think you have some good points, vanishingvixen. But I also think context is everything. I have a fairly high-profile job in my community, and I have zero interest in my surgery becoming a topic of gossip in my professional world. I told my family, my close friends, and the members of my grad-school class. THEY are my support system. I think I definitely made the right decision by keeping my professional relationships just that -- professional.

My insurance only covers WLS for "morbid obesity," and since my BMI was only 32 there was no way I was going to be covered. Simple as that -- I didn't even both applying. We were fortunate to have an income tax refund this year that was large enough to pay for my surgery, and I was very happy to be able to make it happen on my timetable, without jumping through the insuance company's hoops!

I'm five months out. Here is what I ate today: B: Protein shake S: 1/2 oz macadamia nuts L: small chicken thigh with about 2/3 cup rice S: 1/2 Protein Bar D: 3 oz grilled chicken breast S: small fudgesicle Total calories for the day: about 790, with 80 grams of protein, per FitDay. That's pretty typical for a weekday. On weekends I tend to eat more and worse. LOL

It's so funny you posted this today! I just did a little online investigation into sports bras myself today! I ended up ordering an Enell from eBay (half price for a new one -- they are PRICEY!) and also some Moving Comfort ones on sale elsewhere. I will report back when I get them!

I told my family (DH, DS, my parents), a few close friends, and the people I go to school with (we're a small and close-knit graduate school class). I didn't tell anybody at work (except my immediate, trusted staff -- 3 people) because I have a fairly high-profile position and I didn't want people gossiping about me. So I guess I'm on the case-by-case bench, too!

If I were in your shoes I'd hit the Goodwill or consignment store and buy some cute clothes for the cruise for as little money as possible. If that's not possible, go to Target or Marshall's or Walmart and get whatever you can for cheap. I've also had good luck on eBay. I am a big believer in "dressing the body you have now," as Stacey and Clinton always say on "What Not to Wear," and you will have a much better time on the cruise if you have something nice to wear. Just think of it as part of the cost of your vacation. The time to stop punishing yourself for being fat is NOW!!

I didn't tell them a gosh darned thing. I took vacation time, not sick time, for my surgery, and if anybody notices I'm eating less when we go out to lunch, I just say I'm on a diet, which is true.

Seems like you have two choices. First choice is acknowledging that the only person whose thoughts and feelings and behaviors you can control is you. You can tell yourself "My family obviously has some crazy hang-up about acknowledging my weight loss, and that's their deal, not mine. I know I've lost a ton of weight and I look great and feel great, and although I would prefer to have a lot of praise and appreciation from them, I can live without it." Repeat to yourself as needed (constantly, if necessary), and enjoy the visit without hoping for their approval. Second is to take the bull by the horns, sit them down, and say "Guys, we need to talk. I've had this major surgery and am losing a ton of weight, and I'm really excited about it. And I have to admit, I've been surprised and disappointed that nobody in the family seems to have noticed or cared about my weight loss. So I am telling you, up front and out loud, that it would mean the world to me if you would support me by acknowledging and complimenting my hard work and the results I've gotten so far." If they respond positively to the second approach, great! If not, then you're going to have no choice but to go back to the first approach and remember that you're doing this for yourself, and not to gain their approval. Oh... here's a third approach. You can be really bold. When you say "Mom, I'm down another five pounds," and she says "uh-huh," you can laugh and say "Mom! I said I'm down another five pounds! I'm sure you meant to say 'wow, Lori! That's great! That's fantastic! Great job!' And then make her repeat it. I've actually done this with my DH and if you can manage to pull off the right lighthearted tone, it works really well! Good luck to you! I feel your pain and I think you're doing a wonderful job!

This is an interesting post. Obviously not all people suck. Obviously there are a lot of perfectly nice people out there who are attracted to us when we are thin, who wouldn't be attracted to us fat. Obviously everybody, beautiful or not, deserves to be treated nicely. But. I don't think it's helpful to deny that there IS a ton of fat prejudice out there. If you don't believe me, check this out: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/16/health/16essa.html (free registration required) and especially the comments here: The Stigma of Being ‘Fat’ - Well Blog - NYTimes.com I don't think there is a single person on this board who hasn't been teased or criticized for being fat, is there? And don't we do it to ourselves when we're fat? Haven't we all internalized it that much? I know I have. And I think to say that people treat us better when we are thin because we somehow magically become better, nicer, more confident people when we are thin is just more blaming-the-victim because it implies that fat people bring bad behavior on themselves.

Okay, now I'm only a first-year grad student in marriage and family therapy, so take this with a huge grain of salt. But... You have two separate realities going on here. From his point of view, it's his job to do the "manly" stuff like lift heavy things, mow the lawn, and so on. When he does those things for you, it makes him feel really good, like he's being a good husband, doing his job, providing for you and protecting you. It makes him feel good and competent and strong. From your point of view, you are a perfectly capable person whose job it is to keep the house running smoothly, doing whatever needs to be done including lifting heaving things, mowing the lawn, and so on. You did all those things when he was gone, and you felt good and competent and strong. So, wow... instead of the usual case where everybody is trying to shirk doing these kinds of chores, in your family both spouses see the "heavy lifting" as a badge of honor, and a sign of competence and a way to prove your worth and contribute to the household. So it's natural that you'd tussle a little to "get" to do those chores for the psychic rewards you get for doing them. Now add what DJackson mentioned -- your weight loss. All of a sudden, with you looking and feeling and acting so different, ESPECIALLY with you no longer working outside the home, and with your DH home instead of deployed, everybody is having to figure out where they fit into this new system. And so everything, including the back-and-forth about who gets to do the heavy lifting, suddenly gets even more emotionally fraught than it otherwise would be. You said yourself that when your DH does these things for you, and scolds you for doing them yourself, it "makes you feel worthless." That is something that deserves a whole lot of thought. Why is that? Is it because (like a lot of fat women including me) you have gotten used to valuing yourself only for what you could DO? I know in the past I've been a single mom/sole breadwinner/one man band and gotten a great deal of satisfaction from that role. When I remarried it was really hard to give up that role. I'm not saying you need to sit back and play the helpless woman, but I am saying that your worth is NOT dependent on being able to lift 55 pounds of dog food or mow the back 40 before Breakfast. You are a wonderful person even if all you do is sit around looking beautiful and supporting your DH and DS emotionally! As you noted already, your DH probably feels exactly the same way -- like HE is worthless if he doesn't do that stuff! Crazy, huh? He probably has all kinds of guilty feelings about being gone while you were so sick, and now he's trying to make up for it, and when you don't let him he gets frustrated and it comes out as him getting mad! I bet if you talked through all this stuff, not in terms of what you want each other to DO, but how you each FEEL, you'd find it would get a lot easier. Good luck and lots of hugs!!

I just want to not have to think about my weight all the time, which is what I've been doing since I was nine years old!!

Mini-Me, I am totally with you on this. Anybody who denies the amount of hatred and prejudice out there against fat people -- especially fat women and ESPECIALLY fat women over, say, age 35, is just. not. paying. attention. And I think it's just plain sad when fat people or formerly fat people try to blame it on themselves or other fat people in the form of something like "Oh, you're just a BETTER PERSON now that you're thin, and THAT's why people are nicer to you." Uh, no. :nono: If anybody wants to actually educate themselves on this issue, you might want to google "thin privilege" and do a little reading. Just sayin'

Russ, I had exactly the same experience as you -- I was sleeved on March 17 and my loss also really slowed down at about the 3 month mark. I lost just 1.4 pound in June, but then I lost 7.8 pounds in July! Not all of us have all our weight drop off seemingly all at once, but I am confident that we will all get to our goals if we don't sabotage ourselves!

I'm glad you're feeling better! I really didn't feel like myself until at least the second month. I'm now almost 5 months out and feel better than every -- the other day I did an hour with the personal trainer followed by an hour of tap dancing class, and had energy to spare!

I told my family and close friends and my classmates at grad school because we are a small, tight-knit class. But I only told a couple of people at work, and I took vacation days for the operation so I wouldn't have to explain why I was out. A couple of people at work have noticed I'm not eating much when we all go out to lunch, but I've just said I'm on a diet (which is totally true!), and nobody has pursued it beyond that, thank goodness. I'm a lightweight and have been losing slowly, so I haven't had a dramatic weight loss that needs explaining. I'm not ashamed of having surgery, and I wouldn't lie about it if anybody asked me point blank, but I just think it's private information and don't feel the need to tell everybody and their brother about it.

It depends on the surgeon. I had a BMI of 32, no significant co-morbidities (just a touch of high blood pressure, well controlled with medication). He did require a psych clearance but I was able to provide a letter from the therapist I've been seeing (for other issues) rather than do a full on psych eval. I paid $12,500 and was very happy with everything about it -- especially since it was only 15 minutes from home! Oh, and because of my low BMI he didn't require any pre-op diet at all.

I think I'd tried it by 2.5 months out. Honestly, though, I don't dig it much any more. I used to really enjoy Margaritas, but I've stopped ordering them because I just can't finish one. They're too sugary or something, and it just kills me to spend $10 on a drink and leave most of it behind! If I find myself out for drinks with friends, I'll just order a glass of white wine and sip it -- one glass will last me for an evening.

This happened to me earlier in the summer. You and I are about the same size, I think. I lost only 1.4 pounds in June, then in July I actually increased my calories a little, added a bit more exercise, and lost 7.8 pounds! The reality is that for us smaller girls, the weight is going to come off slower. But you are still way ahead of me -- I am barely halfway to my goal after almost 5 months, and you are more than halfway after less than four months! Be of good cheer! It'll happen for both of us! And I challenge you to be happy and not make yourself miserable on the way!

Absolutely! I struggled with my weight since childhood, and got really big after giving birth to my son at 27. I would have jumped at the chance to have had this surgery back then.

Lori, I have figured out my purpose in life: To make you and everyone else on this board feel better about their weight loss! I am a week short of five months out and have lost just a tiny bit more than 30 pounds. So you are WAY ahead of me!! We all start out in different places, we are all different ages and sizes and activity levels and metabolisms, and we are all going to get to our goal at different times. I only lost 1.4 pounds in July and was horribly discouraged, but my weight loss has picked up again and I am determined not to compare myself to others and to enjoy the ride instead of spending my whole weight-loss period (however long or short that may be) being unhappy and frustrated! Anybody care to join me? :crying:

I get mine from Amazon. I don't shop at Walmart and these off-brand ones are much, much cheaper than the name-brand Ketostix available at the pharmacies around here: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000537YG/ref=oss_product]Amazon.com: URS Urinalysis Strips For Ketone - 100 ea: Health & Personal Care[/ame] Edited to add I find them amazingly motivating!

Hooray! I'm right behind you -- I started out as a lightweight so I'm losing fewer pounds, but I also hope to be "normal" by my six-month surgiversary next month! Thanks for leading the way!!