Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. I believe I have made the decision....I of course second guess it just like a normal human being. I figure I'm an ol' pro at surgeries....having gone through 4 laporoscopies, appendectomy, knee surgery, hysterectomy, broken finger surgery, tummy tuck, rectocele, and a few other minor surgeries....sheesh.....looks terrible when I write them all out like that! LOL But having all of those surgeries and not having any problems at all with anistisia (sp) or recovery......should help me breath a little easier. I am 37.... 222 lbs and 5'3 . BMI of 40 on the nose! I have developed ( in the last year) diabetes, thyroid disorder, and an allergy to the sun(break out in blisters) I don't know if the sun allergy is "weight" related, but my dermo thinks it could have to do with my body chemistry changes which are brought on by the weight and my body trying to adapt....... and the good lord know what else they will find with all this preop stuff! It's scary....you are right...I could die a VERY slow unhealthy way......or I could have the surgery (take a chance) and go at a very old age with great grand children to remember me! Oh it feels so good to get this off my chest!! I love this forum!! what a wonderful world of knowledge!! Thank you agan!!