I am 53, weigh 400 pounds, will have VSG surgery Friday, May 6, 2011 and here are my reasons why.I WANT (in no order of importance);
- My family to be happy about me.
- To fell horny again and have really good sweaty sex with my darling wife who is my age and HOT.
- To wear a gold wedding band. (It was emotionally devastating having my wedding ring cut off my finger becasue it was too
tight. My wife gave me a steel band for our 25th and I was moved. I will have my original ring melted and re-cast.
- Not to be embarrassed and not to have my family embarrassed by my appearance.
- To be alive for family milestones.
- To take a family portrait and hang it proudly above the fireplace.
- To ease my mind about my health as well as the minds of family and friends who worry about me.
- To become less critical and negative about myself and to have more confidence and boost my self-esteem.
- To stop taking as many medications as possible.
- To stop needing the large cuff when my blood pressure is taken.
- To have the energy to do what I want to do.
- No more man-boobs!
- To have a lap.
- To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.
- To be able to cross my arms across my chest without them resting on my stomach.
- My feet to get smaller so I can wear my expensive shoes.
- To feel strong again.
- To fit comfortably in the dentist’s chair, at a theater and in an airplane.
- To not do more damage to my knee and back by carrying all this extra weight.
- To not have fear going to the doctor because he’ll make me get on a scale.
- My wife and children not to think that when something is wrong with me, it’s automatically due to my being fat. (The problem with my eye had nothing to do with my being fat, but I understand why they thought [and maybe still think] that it does.)
- To be healthy
- To buy clothes in a regular store and never have to shop at the fat man’s store.
- My wife to come home with something she bought for me and for it to fit and for her to tell me how good I look wearing it.
- To wear my clothes, especially suits and my tuxedo.
- To REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to wear jeans.
- To appear tailored instead of baggy and sloppy.
- To wear my jewelry and watches.
- To bend over comfortably to tie my shoes.
- To say goodbye to all my fat clothes, especially my black leather coat. (I HATE THAT THING!)
- To look in my closet and have problems deciding what to wear.
- To wear nicer clothing at work.
- Getting dressed to be a joy and not a dreaded chore. (It’s like getting dressed is a personal trigger for depression.)
- To get rid of storing clothes of all different sizes.
- A real satin Yankee jacket.
- My socks to stay up over my calves.
- To walk on the beach with my wife. (I don’t particularly like the beach or walking on the sand but she does and I want to do things that make her happy.)
- Not have to ask for a seat belt extender when I fly.
- To sit behind the wheel of my car comfortably.
- To be more active and really have fun.
- To walk my dogs. (I love those dogs and I know their walks are important for their health. I know I am shortchanging them and myself.)
- To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.
- To stop walking sideways through turnstiles
- To sit in a booth at a restaurant.
- To face my fear about roller coasters but I don’t fit into the seat.
- To stop “trying” to lose weight.
- To stop making up excuses for not doing things because I know my weight will impede me.
- To stop lying to myself. (I like the mall. I want to go walk it and shop.)
- To stop allowing my fat to run my life.
- To stop being anxious going to places out of my comfort zone.
- To no longer be self-consciousness about people watching me eat.
- To stop getting “those” looks when out in public.
- To be able to use a public restroom comfortably.
- To not have to worry about the weight limit of objects.
- To be able to stand on a regular bathroom scale.
- To know I can go anywhere because wherever I sit I can be comfortable and look at ease.
- To get compliments about my appearance.
- To cross my legs.
- To take a bath.
- To stop hating mirrors.
- To play some of the sports I like again. (I have to make concessions to getting older but I miss being active. I can’t play full court basketball any longer but I want to shoot hoops in my driveway.)
- To squeeze past people, anytime........anywhere.
- To say my weight aloud without embarrassment.
- To stop groaning on the inside when my photo is taken.
- To never be called “big guy” again.
- To dance with Nina and not have my friends say “Wow, for such a big guy, you sure can move.” (as they did at a recent bat mitzvah party.)
- To think that when people are talking about weight loss, they are not specifically talking about me.
- To not be forced to sleep on my sides.
- To lie in bed and see my toes without having to lift my head.
- People in the supermarket to not look in my shopping cart, analyzing what a fat person eats.
- To tell fat people “I was there once” and maybe I can offer support and encouragement to help them with their struggle to get where they want to be.
- To ride a horse again. (I can’t believe that when I thought of things I miss doing because I am fat that riding a horse came to mind. Maybe it’s that I want to be able to ride a horse without thinking I would break its back if I sat on it.)
- A bath towel to fit around my waist.
- To not be a fat, bald guy.
- To stop disliking normal weighted people.
