TerriDoodle

I had a post this morning that was as long as your arm....with all kinds of personals and thanks to all of you for making my birthday so speshul, and special thanks for my latest arrivals from TracyK, TracyinKS, Denise and Michelle. I almost broke down and CRIED when I lost the post, so instead i just logged off in disgust. Not having a good day at all over here....just want to bite somebody's head off. Kids are OK but everything else is shit! I do need to pass along to all of you that I spoke to Jenn on the phone last night .... she is going through a very hard time right now and needs our prayers. One of her dearest friends is in the hospital dying of pneumonia. It's been very quick (3-4 days) but supposedly there is no doubt that his organs are shutting down. He is a gentleman of 60, married to her best friend and they have an 11 yr old daughter. As difficult as that all is for the family, it is made 100x worse because the hospital will not allow the daughter to visit...not even to say her final goodbyes to her father....because he is in ICU and they "don't allow children in ICU." Everyone is torn up about it...and Jenn is watching over the daughter during this time. She promises to check in soon, but wanted me to let you all know that she's with us in spirit all the time.

Here's the rub right here: Until the research is scrutinized by others, it is meaningless.

Tracy- I NEVER watch the news ....EVER. As a result I am very poorly informed. I'm just one of those people who cannot stand all the negativity in the news. I know there's good stuff that happens in the world...lots of it... but the media never reports that. As a result, I guess you could say that I protest the news...I think they're all a bunch of politically motivated, highly biased whores. I just don't trust anybody in the media. I don't trust anyone in government either. I abstain from elections for those reasons. I admit that I am ignorant, and I believe that there's nothing more dangerous than an ignorant voter. My DH is extremely well-educated in that department and I could just follow his lead....but he leans way too hard to the right.

where Is Jennifur???

Laura -- One question: Will your sister be at the baby shower? I'm not sure I could look her in the eye and keep a straight face. I guess if she's high enough it won't matter.

<cough cough> Dammit, Tracy!! You gave me your bug!!

Bikinis and Pregnancy do NOT mix!!!

Thanks for the feedback, ya'll. Sorry to be obsessing about this. I think i need to get back on my Lexapro and I just don't WANT TO. They may not respond for up to a week.... as I said they're from out of state and making the rounds...prolly not near a computer. I may not get any response and that's fine, too. Just wanted a platform for telling my side of the story....for ONCE.

I just shot off this note to my cousins.... I feel better, ...sorta. Hi girls, I wish I could have seen you last night!! I wanted to apologize (for what i'm not sure). Peggy told me at about noon that you were coming into town. I had no idea. She told me that you were due in soon and you would be going to the hospital during the early afternoon to see mom, and would only be staying a short while. It was my first day back from a 10 day vacation and I had much to do at work. Obviously, with the schedule that she arranged, I would not be able to meet you at the hospital that afternoon. She did not invite me to join you later. I was pretty disappointed that things were arranged that way, but oh well. I have a lot on my plate and didn't want to make an issue of it.... she does this kind of stuff to me all the time and I just have learned to keep my reactions to myself. After work I went to an appointment to tour another nursing home for Mom (looks great!) and then grabbed a bite to eat before heading to the hospital. I got there around 6:45, I think. Mom tells me that you had just left and had "waited for me as long as you could"! I felt so bad!!! Waited for me? But i want to tell you that I had no idea you were there at that hour. Peggy could have easily called me on my cell to let me know that you were there and to get my status, but she chose not to. Between you and me, she has pulled this kind of passive-aggressive crap with me for several years and it's been especially chronic since Mom has needed our joint care. I know ya'll think the world of Peggy and I don't mean to take anything away from that, but there is a side of her you know absolutely nothing about. This incident was heart-breaking for me on many levels but I just wanted to make it clear to you the reasons why I was not able to meet you guys. I would have loved that. My mother is dying slowly in front of my eyes and this is one the most difficult periods of my life. Instead of bonding together at this time it seems like Peggy and I grow farther and farther apart. It started in earnest when I married Richard and has gotten progressively worse with each year. It's a shame, but it is what it is, and she has chosen it....not me. Sorry about this baring of the soul, but I'm pretty upset about all this today. I love you and would have been thrilled to see you. Take care, Terry

Wow, Laura! That is a beautiful piece of furniture!!!

Pamela -- I wish I knew the psychological term for what my sister does to f*** with me. Passive-aggressive maybe? For instance...on my birthday I called her to ask if she knew where something was that my mother needed. She barked back at me, "Well I'm packing up ALL her stuff right now!!" (She was moving my mom's things out of the nursing home so we didn't have to pay the daily charge.) So she's mad at me for not being there to help pack up what amounts to about 2 suitcases full. Well, #1 I didn't know she was going to do that. #2 We didn't do that before when she got admitted to the hospital, we just paid the charge. She just EXPECTS me to know these things by osmosis, then when I don't she gets mad and talks SHIT behind my back! Example #2: Today I called her to go over some things about Mom (and the $ she owes me-tee hee). She then informs me that my 2 cousins and aunt from out of state were coming to visit my mom in the hospital this afternoo . Well this is a BIG surprise to me and surely she knew about it long before this point...knowing I'd want to see them! She says, "yeah, they'll be here about 2:30 and then we'll go over to the hospital but won't stay long." No invite to join them later, of course. Well, I'm back at work so I can't leave obviously to meet them. I go about my business, went to interview and tour another nursing home, grabbed a bite then went to the hospital about 7:00p. Mom says the cousins just left and they had waited for me as long as possible! NOBODY freaking called me to let me know they were there or that they were waiting for me!!!! So, again, I just look bad like I don't care enough to be there! She gives me bad information (or no information) then bitches about me to others!! Are you following me? She drives me INSANE with this shit and she does it to me all the damn time!!! It's like me planning a baby shower for Laura, but I give you 2 hours notice to fly across the country to be there, then bitch about you to all the Violets about how thoughtless and insensitive you are for not showing. WHAT THE F*** IS THAT???????? :cursing::cursing::smile2::cursing::smile:

Haydee, nothing wrong with keeping yourself busy! Read something inspirational and empowering! I wish my minister's empowerment group met closer to you...man, THAT was an awesome course and taught me so much. Oh yeah, and I took a relationships course at church too...it taught me a lot about 'red flags'. I've had some pretty big red flags in my marriage, too...but can't seem to do anything about them. But I do keep asserting my POV and I'll never shut up either! In the end it may do us in, but that flag was never there until after we said "I do." Ugh. Anyway, just know that I have faith that you'll find your way to whatever is right for you. I (we) just want you to have the happiness (and babies) that you deserve, that's all. I wish he would buy a clue as to what a special woman he has.

I called my sister today and reminded her that she owes me $1800. She was vewy quiet on the other end of the line. 2 can play at this game.

Laura.... i wouldn't miss your baby shower for the world. W/ mom being in the hospital the last few days, I've seen 3-4 moms leaving with their new babies. Soooooooooooooooooo tiny!!! I always stop to coo and tell them they're the most beautiful baby I've ever seen! I love babies. It's when they learn to suck money and raise hell that i have a wee bit of a problem with them. I might mention that I was probably in the top 10% of the money-sucking hell-raising group. Karma is a bitch.

I love dogs!! We'd have a blast! Who needs men, anyway!!?? Oh yeah, that baby thing..... (otherwise known as money-sucking hellions :sad:)

LOL!! Obviously she was quite upset at her tremendous loss, Laura. Sorry we didn't get video. That would have made my day.

Want a roommate, Haydee?

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1st day back at work from my vacation and things are hoppin' around here...so no time to post personals....except for Jane. (((HUggs, honey)) It sounds to me like you have a bout of good ol' fashioned depression!! Have you ever been evaluated for this? It happens to the best of us!! I've gone off my meds and boy, I can tell!! i'm gonna try and tough it out for awhile though. I'm thinking I need to get back to the gym!! But now Mom is in the hospital = no time. i hate my sister. There, I said it. Pammy = Congrats, sweetie -- lots going your way now!! Ride the wave!!! Love you all.......

Well, I'm posting this just to let you know why one would get an unfill. I've been 'sitting on the fence' for quite some time and have finally decided to get a bit of an unfill. I can't eat much meat unless it's drenched in sauce or mayonnaise, and then only very little. As a result, I feel sure I'm not getting enough Protein 90% of the food I eat is "mushy" I'm not eating nearly enough fish, fresh veggies and fruit I'm eating WAY too much in the way of chips and crackers I'm starting to feel some reflux symptoms at night, but not too badly...just want to nip that in the bud! I have had a few esophageal spasms...not pleasant at all The list of healthy foods I cannot eat is WAY too long; I miss chicken and eggs and salads It takes me 45 minutes to get in a cup of food Milkshakes are a little too yummy to rely on for sustenance I'm growing weary of fighting with my band at every meal :thumbup: SO... we shall see. I'm hoping to feel better soon. :crying: That would be nice.

G'Morning! Party was soooo nice last night!! My friends really went all out with the food and drink and I got lots of nice presents! I'll post some pics later; my camera batteries are re-charging. Tracy - I am really excited for you...and I know you're nervous about the money, etc., but when you know, you KNOW....and it will all work out. Besides, when she starts elementary school maybe you can get a job at her school, in the office or as a teachers aide or something. That would be cool! You could have Pamela's hours!! I can't wait to see how it all unfolds! You're all gonna be so happy! LOL Laura... Yeah, I gave those hotel people hell, didn't I? Anything travel related like that gets my goat and they will certainly not give you anything you don't ask for....or demand! Grrrrrr. That still makes me mad, "But you didn't ASK for a river-view!" I love the wall unit!! I got a sweet deal like that for DH's study on Ebay a few years ago. I was patient and searched for several months and then the perfect one came up...we paid $30 for it! Sweet victory! We're heading out shortly for the family rounds. Hope you all enjoy your Father's Day celebrations today! Love you all!

BEADS BEADS BEADS!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!! I'm in BEAD HEAVEN!! Ya'll are so sweet to send all the cute cards and violet beads!! I'll have to get real creative to figure out a way to use all of them in one project! This is gonna be FUN! Thank you all so much for your sweet birthday wishes. You are ALL a treasure to me..No doubt about it! DH gave me a new Apple MacBook (woo hoo!) and it's strange getting used to a new OS after 15 years on Windows. No complaints though, 'cause this is one sweet computer! I'll just be glad when I'm a little more proficient. Yesterday I did a little shopping w/o my money vacuum (Hannah) and actually got a few things for myself. Then I went to the hospital to see Mom, then to dinner with my DH and kids. Went to Pappadeaux (cajun seafood deluxe!) and it was very, very yummy. Tonight is my 'big party' .... my girlfriend is hosting it and it should be a load of fun!! I am really looking forward to it and it's a perfect way to wrap up my vacation and birthday! I'm actually looking forward to going back to work so I'll STOP EATING!!! I've gained 2# on vacation and I'm not happy about it. I was on a roll and heading downward before my unfill and vacation....after sooo much time at a standstill. DH and I are having 'issues' (ahem). Not to happy about that. And speaking of relatioships gone bad, my sister totally pissed me off again yesterday. I was at the hospital at the time and I had to call her to ask a question. Won't go into the details, but when I got off the phone with her Mom was asking what was wrong (maybe because I was muttering "BITCH!"?). We had a long talk about it and I told Mom that I look forward to the day when I can finally walk away from that relationship. She didn't understand what I was saying, so I explained that what I meant was, that after she was gone I have no plans to nurture that relationship any longer...in ANY shape fashion or form. I have taken her bullshit antics for more than 15 years and I am so DONE. I know this goes against a lot of people's understanding, but you have no idea how happy it will make me. Mom was not upset by what I was saying....as a matter of fact I got the impression that she was totally sympathetic. I hope so. I didn't mean to upset her...I just had to get it out. Ok, so...... on the agenda today....relax then party. Not too shabby, eh? I love you all!!! JENN - I MISS YOU!!!!!

I gotta run right now, but I'll be back to post more..... I just thought it would be cool to start a thread on "Forgiveness". Maybe we'll all be better for it. Who is it that you need to forgive? Have you made any progress? Need some help getting there?

Hastings.....Can you imagine living in that hell of guilt, and for lack of a more generic word, "Godlessness"? Whether or not you believe in God, heaven and/or hell, I firmly believe that there is justice for people like that.... but we may not understand it or see it happening in front of us. Personally, I believe in 'karma' and know deep within my heart that they will suffer immensely for the pain they caused you....sooner or later.

Well, Tracy, at this point even 0.1cc can make a world of difference. The next fill I get, whenever that is, will be a 0.1, as will the one after that, and the one after that....etc. No more big jumps for me.