TerriDoodle

HEY!! I'm going to Vegas on Monday too!!! How wild! We're staying at Treasure island....how about you? I flew to Colorado in June but I wasn't at full restriction then. I didn't notice any difference.

Laura - Yep...I agree about the appendix. That was the first thing I thought of when I read that it kept getting worse. Nothing to play around with that's for sure. I am still in the dumps. I don't want to get into the details but I think this is why I'm so depressed: The ex is going to AA, swears to get clean and the kids are going to stay with him. My lawyer said I could have won custody with no problems if DS would testify. Anyway, I coulda had my kids back....but once again they've chosen to stay with him. He makes them feel so damn guilty and I don't so they figure I'm "ok" with things like they are. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm in pain 24/7, I just don't make them responsible for it! I take my lumps because divorce is what I chose, not them, so I allowed them to go back to their old schools when they asked to. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I never let them see how hurt I was. I see them all the time but there's nothing like waking up in the middle of the night and knowing they're in the house safe and sound, sleeping like babies, and that they'll be there in the morning when I wake up. DH was also not exactly offering the support I expected which is massively disappointing. I think our problems are bigger than I realized. My kids and friends go on an on about how great I'm looking. He says nothing. You guys and all my RL friends are freaking out with glee that I have quiet smoking. He said "Oh" and hasn't said another word since. He doesn't like confrontation, so this is how I live when there is something wrong: Silence. I'm about to give up on the whole damn thing. He doesn't try to fix anything. He just waits for me to get tired of the silence then he acts like there's nothing wrong. Nothing ever gets discussed unless it's a fight. This is no way to live. I'm gonna go off and see how many thousands of calories I ate today. :pout:

Thanks, Julie! I'm doing great....Day 17!

Well, Kat at LEAST you got sex out of the deal!!! Hope it was good! Oh wait, if it was good you wouldn't be so grouchy!! Hell, I haven't had sex for weeks. <insert lightbulb icon here> Hey!! That must be why I am so grouchy! Grrrrrrrrrrr. Snarl.

I work on the 6th floor of my building. I can officially walk up all the flights without taking a break between floors. And I'm still alive when I get to 6!!!

Is it any wonder why 'older' women (as opposed to girls) are labeled 'bitches' by men? Look at the crap that we put up with over the years and yet we are expected to remain soft, affectionate and vulnerable...??? It's laughable. sorry. Told you I was grumpy.

Oh, Kat - That is such a great story about the bracelet!!! Thanks for sharing that with me! Pammy - thanks for my note and the reminder of my special friend in Palm Springs. I love it and it makes me smile....especially on a grumpy day like today!! You had a good food day yesterday!! I think the routine will be good for you.

Jane - No, this isn't right and you know it!! Write a letter to the adminstrator of the hospital, with a copy to the BBB and the state attorney general's office. Notify them that if you don't have your refund in 10 days you will be filing a lawsuit. Then do it. Alternatively, find a cheap lawyer in the phone book and pay them $50 (?) to write a threatening letter for you. Hospitals and insurance companies will rip you off however they can. They make their bills, statements and settlements so damn complicated for a reason!! It makes me so mad that people here at LBT (like Michelle) had sooooo many problems getting insurance to pay!! They had to file appeal after appeal and then they get approved??!?!? Why does it have to be so freakin' complicated?! I hate to think of the insurance nightmares one would have if you had an ongoing serious illness. Boggles the mind. I think they count on people to just throw their hands up and surrender in exhaustion.Ok, I'm off my soapbox. Tracy...I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!! Just goes to show that you've obviously been doing some hard work and you deserve to button those jeans, girlfriend!! I'm having a grumpy day. :tired Very grumpy.

I'll eat enchiladas, beans and tortilla soup. I don't do too well with flour tortillas, corn is better. Guacamole is ok, of course. Nachos are OK...as long as they don't have fajita meat. I haven't tried fajitas...I don't think I would tolerate them well. Oh, and fish tacos...I love those!

TracyKS -- I don't understand.....what does your ex want??? Visitation? UGH! I just got off the phone with my lawyer a little while ago and I am very pleased with what she had to say. Now to talk to DH, then my son. I'm a nervous wreck and have tons of work to do!!

Morning!! Busy, busy day at work today...but the rest of the week is going to be a BREEZE. 188.8 today Had Chinese last night and it does it to me every single time. I'll check in later when I need a break. XOXO!

After my 1st fill I've averaged about 1# a week, maybe a little less....but I am lower BMI and i generally lose weight slowly anyway. I'm not complaining at all because I don't feel like I'm dieting...eating foods I enjoy just a lot less of it.

Yep, I had second thoughts....but I trusted what the people here at LBT were telling me and other newbies. Even people with complications were saying they'd do it again and it was the best thing they ever did. Jeez, if I had a dime for every time I read that phrase! That, and: "I love my band!!!" Nobody is paying us to say this stuff....we're just people and we mean every word! We've been in your shoes (remember?) and we know that this is a serious, life-altering decision. In spite of all that we all sound like a broken record: JUST DO IT!!! :eek:

Oh this is good stuff!! (Losingjusme...you crack me up with your 'snacks') BEFORE: Bkfst: cottage cheese/berries/splenda, 3 coffees w/ cream snack: cheese stick or handful (or two) of peanut M&M's; Diet Coke Lunch: An entire Asian Chopped chicken salad (made for 2) at Pei Wei; iced tea snack: More peanut M&M's or a TBSP of Peanut Butter ...or two; Diet Coke Dinner: 1/2 basket or more of chips & salsa, 2 enchiladas verdes, some rice& Beans, sopapillas (dessert); Iced tea NOW: Bkfst: cottage cheese, berries, splenda and one coffee and cream snack (maybe 3x/week): 6 almonds or 1/2 spoonfull of peanut butter Lunch: cup of soup or 1/4 c. tuna salad and 2 saltines Dinner: tilapia and a salad (last night we went for dinner and I 'stuffed' myself on a cup of soup and a crab cake about 3" in diameter) Went from eating 2500+ calories a day to less than 1100...so less than 1/2. You'll hear lots of us say it makes us 'ill' to see how much other people can eat or to think how much we used to put away. It's true!! It will amaze you, too.

Yep, ...what Jack said!

Good Morning .... Man, it sure is quiet when everyone's out of town!! We all have our war stories, don't we??? It just goes to show you that everyone has endured pain in their lives and has crosses to bear....some more than others. In the end we're all in this together and the journey is so much better when we're arm-in-arm. Don't you love it when you think you've just totally blown your 'diet' then go to count calories and find you didn't do nearly as bad as you think?? Thank you, BAND!! I could have sworn yesterday that I ate like a horse. When I counted up, then subtracted exercise I was at 1100 calories for the day...w/ 97g of protein! Today I plan to do better. I graze when I'm at home all day!! I'm really struggling with wanting a cigarette the last couple of days....don't know why now. But I'm hanging in there. 13 days. I am really starting to stress about the upcoming conflict with my ex-husband, his drinking and other issues and custody of the children. I have a consult with my attorney tomorrow and hopefully he will be served with some kind of papers in the next couple of weeks. It is such a long story and I don't feel like getting into it, but 5 years ago my kids decided they wanted to move in with their dad because they missed their friends, schools, etc. (When I got married to DH we moved to a new neighborhood.) It was a very painful time in my life in that regard but we have made it work and my children adore me....probably because coming to my house is more like vacation than being at home! (I love to spoil them when they're here!) The ex and I have a very good working relationship when it comes to the kids...usually...and he is a good dad with the best of intentions. The problem is that he goes thru periods where he drinks waaaay too much....usually on the weekends when they'll have friends or neighbors over to BBQ....things like that, but sometimes more often. The problem is that he doesn't know when to quit drinking once he starts and gets very sloppy, sometimes angry, combative and even violent. When we were married his rage was always directed at me. When we went to counseling the counselor immediately focused on his drinking which he thought was a terrible injustice and so deemed that the counseling process was a bunch of hogwash. End of that process. When we had children (after 10 yrs of marriage) things got worse between us. I had a busy, busy job, 2 little kids and a husband who was like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. When he raged at me and my little son was staring at him pale and shaking....I said THAT IS IT. NO MORE. I left. Fast forward to today. He's remarried to a nice woman but she has him by the short hairs and runs that house like a manic control freak. He cannot go pee without her permission. Fine, I don't care what goes on between them....but the point is that he cannot rage at HER now. He rages at my children and they are finally telling me the truth of what really goes on in that house. They never did before because they knew that I would FREAK OUT, call him and rip him a new one.....which inevitably would result in getting the KIDS in trouble....get it?? So they kept it to themselves for too long. Now they are at the age where they have a VOICE in the court system and we are going for it. Our goal is to get him into AA or treatment, otherwise for me to get custody. Change in custody would be difficult for a number of reasons, most of all because it would require a change in schools...and my son is a senior in high school and my daughter is in her last (very successful) year of junior high. If he doesn't get into treatment (which he will resist with every fiber of his being--because he doesn't think he needs it) I've got a helluva problem on my hands. The easiest solution I can think of is to rent an apartment in their district and just say that its my address. Damn expensive alternative, eh? All my child support would be going for a stupid apartment....but only for a fewmonths, I guess. Anyway, ya'll will be hearing a lot about this in the coming weeks 'cause the shit is gonna hit the fan!!! I'm going to bead. <sigh>

Bjean- I have a copy of the Kite Runner ready to take with me on vacation next week! It has been recommended to me several times. Can't wait to get into it. I read a lot of non-fiction and maybe it gets dull for me. Fiction will only hold my attention if it's a REALLY good book. Selling on Ebay is a lot harder than buying! 404 just means I shop there a lot. Whenever I 'need' something, that's the first place I look. I love a good bargain!

* I'm a nursing school dropout....had 6 months to go. * If I could do it over again I'd study psychology or nutrition * People say I have quite a talent for interior design * I wish I knew much more about quantum physics, but I'm not smart enough * I bead and am totally addicted to collecting beads...totally * I have studied metaphysics quite extensively * I rarely finish a book but I read 5 at a time * I have many friends, but 3 best friends that I've known for 30 years. We were pot-luck roommates in college. I freak out when I think of one of them getting sick and/or dying. * I have an Ebay feedback score of 404. LOL * I want to live in Colorado....very badly. * I adore dogs and cats but don't have one now * I fell in love at first sight with my children's father

Hmmm. I never thought about this in these terms...but I definitely started gaining weight after the age of 8, when my father died in a small plane crash. My relationship with him was painful for me. I was always wanting his attention but felt rejected constantly. i annoyed him. Either he had his nose either behind the newspaper, was yelling at me or was at the bar. He was mostly at the bar. When I was 21 my mother told me what a real asshole he was and how he emotionally abused her very badly and cheated on her constantly. Surely I have abandonment issues too....I have a rough who-needs-you attitude, too. How's that for transparency?

I hope you understand that it's NOT that we don't sympathize, dear one. We most certainly do see ourselves in you! We're only trying to give you the benefit of our experience. Sure, go on a 'little tour'...lol...but not every day for 3 weeks!

I definitely see your point Mz Green! May the whore suffer the body odor of 1000 camels!!! :heh:

So get a hold of yourself!!! You know what you have to do, so breathe, commit and do it. You'll be glad you did! I don't mean to sound 'tough' but there will be lots of times on this journey when you have to adjust your behaviors and attitudes....it's time to practice! When folks on here tell you that you don't have to say goodbye to food forever, we mean it! You WILL be able to eat food. There is no need to jeopardize your surgery or to gain 8# right now. This is only temporary!! Breathe!! (I really AM a nice person!)

Isn't that the truth, Allie?? That's why i always tell newbies to stick around here and read all they can. It's like no matter what your issue is with food, the band can help. Well, maybe not THAT clear-cut...but it is a tremendous tool that just about everyone can benefit from.

I'm posting this just so nobody can break my record of FIVE posts IN A ROW!! lol

Oh, and also..... (sorry).... I think about this often.....as I said before, when I was in college I was pretty thin but didn't feel like it. And since I had been ugly and fat growing up (and I'm not kidding about the ugly part!!) I never could understand why such good looking men were attracted to me. Looking back on it, I mean you should have seen the guys I dated!! Not model types, but really cute guys!! Wait, now that I think about it, I did have one date with a model! Ha!! And I always felt so awkward....like what the hell am I doing here??? I'm ugly and fat!! Weird. I even had 2 gorgeous guys, who were best friends, 'fighting over me'....and I ended up marrying one of 'em, my now-ex. I just have never seen me the way other people see me. Never. I still see that ugly 13 year old with mousy brown hair, fat, buck teeth, braces and pimples. Nightmare DeLuxe.