Hello Sarah, I am very happy to know that you came on here to talk to us, this forum has been a great help to me and I hope that you will get the help that you need at this time. I had the sleeve done on Dec. 2. and you took me back to a time when I felt so much as you do. The closer that I got to my surgery date, the more nervous, anxious, excited, fearful of a painful surgery and worried about so many things. I was real glad when I read others comments on here to know that I was not alone with similar feelings. It helped me to stay positive until the surgery date, no matter what I was thinking or feeling at that moment.
I started my weigh-ins in Feb. last year and I weighed in at 257, the highest that I had ever weighed in years. I already had a total knee replacement the year before my first weigh-in. I had been walking with a cane and having to be helped up from chairs. I had gotten rid of all my size 24 jeans and at 257 pounds all my size 22 jeans were getting so tight again and I was feeling so miserable. I started losing weight, but after a few weigh-ins I started to gain weight, and by July my weight was up to 266. I am so thankful to God and all the people on this forum, because I read on here about how others sometimes experienced the same thing. One explaination is that some go through thinking about being deprived of food after surgery, so some eat more and more. Anyway that is how I understood their explaination. Food depravation, just the thought of it can really be very emotional.
I am happy to say that I do not feel deprived of food now after surgery. I do not feel hungry like I did before surgery. I am thankful that the surgery helps with getting rid of some of the hunger hormone which is called Ghrellin. Also I get full very quick so I have to stop eating, because eating too much makes me feel very uncomfortable and I almost vomit if I don't stop when I should.
I also started dreading going through the surgery very close to my surgery date, because I was dreading the anticipation of all the pain that I thought I would experience after surgery. I got on the forum and read more and more about some of the sleevers having good recoveries, returning to work early, wanting to get back to exercising, others not experiencing much pain after surgery and many other positive comments.
After surgery the only pain I experienced was gas pains and some nausea. I was able to go back to swim exercise classes 2-3 weeks afterwards. I had to wait until the incision healed up completely. I know the inside takes longer to heal, but I did not experience any pain.
I hope that you find the help that you need on this forum to get you through this feeling down time. I have no regrets having this surgery done. From July until Dec.1 before surgery I lost 34 pounds. After surgery since Dec.2 I have lost 28 pounds. I can now cross my legs, get into 16 M jeans, get up and down without someone helping me up, get comments from others about how good I am looking since losing weight, and I am not feeling so down on myself all the time like before surgery.
Hang in there and stay positive and before you know it your day will be here and then you will be on your way to a new you. I wish you all the best!!