feedyoureye

I hear you Sheryl...I don't think my sex drive is really gone gone... but more like dormant right now...the way it flipped on when I ran into my ex was the give away. We had a very spicy sex life too...

OK, I'm bringing out the big guns Laura!!! Sex & Donuts!!!! -------------- He is the type that blows up, then just goes on to the next thing. He can't see how I won't do the same thing. He also thinks hes always right, so any comment I make is usually moot...Its a rare thing where he says I'm right about something.. like i can count on one had all those times during the last 20 years! This being said, he can be sweet and funny... not just a dick! (or I would have kicked him to the curb long ago...) There are a couple of things in his history that make him blind as a bat about some things, he might be much happier if he could allow more gray into his life, not just black and white.... not sure he is capable of that though.

Take care Seela, just because you can doesn't mean you should... measure your food, and keep the portions small. Protein first. Some foods, sliders, you can eat more of, they just go down easy and leave your stomach quickly. Do not drink while eating, this is a way to eat more. You can still burst your staples and get a leak.... take care! 11 weeks is too early to pack in so much food in one day! (even if you are hungry and it tastes good)

My sex drive is much lower than it once was. I don't know why especially, age? Hormones?Jaded? Husband not too happy about this... I think part of it is he is very critical of me and life in general... And his timing is rotten, we have fun sex then he makes critical comments (not about sex, about something else -silly to me) its like, if you did something nice for a dog, then scolded the dog, eventually it would cower at the nice thing...don't you think? Then after a time of this kind of behavior, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I just don't feel attracted to him. Why would someone(him) want to have sex/make love to someone they don't have respect for(me).And why would I want to have sex with someone who doesn't act like they respect me.....I miss the sex, but I really need more trust to open up. I jump in now and then, when he's being nice for a week or something, I can forget the crap behavior, but then, bam... hes a wild man again. Other people tell me he talks so adoringly about me, but to my face? Not so much. He has no filter, if he feels something, he says it... no mater the consequences. Thats my man. I care about him, and there is a lot I like about him, but he is his own worst enemy about some things. I guess we all have trouble seeing some things right in front of our eyes at times.

I use to take ambien but my metabolism gets used to a medication and then I need more to get the same effect. I really hate taking more just to get the relief I'm needing. But I'm also willing to go back and try it again..... I love this strategy. It does help to recognize what we can change and what we can't. I also like prioritizing my to do list when feeling overwhelmed.... It warms my heart to hear about the wonderful things you are doing for wild life. I have the same feelings. Humans are so unkind to animals and it will bring tears to my eyes. Lately I'm finding myself feeling depressed and viewing things in my world as hopeless. I work on re-framing these negative thoughts to being grateful for the things that I do have like a good husband that's pretty healthy, healthy children, financial security, a house, bills are paid, etc. I am really blessed that I have some wonderful pets that I have rescued from numerous places and they're so loving and giving.....But I do have a chemical imbalance right now.......I have thought about asking my PCP for an antidepressant but I remember the havoc they created with my sleep......I don't really know what to do about it but to get my butt to exericising. I have stopped walking when I went to Las Vegas because my knee got really painful and I thought I was going to have to have knee replacement. so I am fearful of that happening again. But I do need to kick myself in gear and just do it......... Perhaps that will help me sleep at night. My scale is so out of whack these days....yesturday I weighted 147 lbs and today i weight 136 lbs......Why is there a 10 lb difference? I did eat more yesturday....... I'm going whacko..... Have a great day..... I went to a sports medicine Dr, who referred me to a physical therapist who nailed down why my knee was bothering me... it was a weakness in my hip! So I started doing exercises for my hip, and the knee got better. Sounds like you need a new scale!

A dash of Hawt in ones life reminds us we are alive. I know my brain rushes back to my 30s and "the clam" does most of the thinking, but it feels luscious. Last year when I ran into my ex (who I always thought was hawt) thats exactly what happened, it didn't even matter that intellectually I know all the down side, I am married to someone else and this guy was trouble.... Who cares! The chemistry speaks first*! Luckily I had the control to not make a total monkey out of the event, but I really wanted to dive into the "mode". That feeling lasted almost 2 weeks after seeing him...! LIke the carbmonster but worse! I probably would have thought the Boston strangler was hawt! Maybe getting fat was part of dealing with that monster! * No I didn't go any further than react chemically... heart racing, getting all flirty postured... I have only seen him twice (he goes to my gym on days Im usually not there) in the last 25 years... thats a good thing!

I feel more restriction at the beginning of fast days, and it really works to keep the "free fall" eating at bay.

People are just trying to make their way in the world. That doesn't mean we have to date them, like them or sleep with them, but I guess a little empathy can go a long ways towards recognizing the humanness in all of us.

Yikes Jane, that was a bit of a presumption on Brits part! Probably an understory you won't want to get to know... When I'm feeling overwhelmed, its usually several things piling up that I don't have control over or that aren't going my way... if I sit down and list what I feel like... hopeless is the bad one that trigers anxiety, then I list what the things are that make me feel hopeless, then I look to see if there is anything I can do to counteract the feeling... communication, action, whatever... and schedule some of that, and if I can do something right away..... that helps almost immediately to some extent. If I don't let it go too long, then I can usually manage those stressful types of ecperiences. The old saying, "do what you can, and let go of what you can't" is a good one, but when I "can't" sometimes it makes me sad. I am attached to holding on. Attachment. I confuse attachment with love, and really, thats more objectivesiing than love. Its mistaken thinking on my part... As an example, I was feeling bad about all the birds and animals that get killed and disrupted by human behavior. Poisoned, run over, shot, on and on. Sometimes when I think about this it makes me hate people generally. Not really productive! Or true! I want to make a difference, but the problem is so huge... I feel overwhelmed. So I made a list of things I might do, small things, but things I have control over. So I took some things over to a wildlife rescue place near by, some things from their wish list. I also made some art for a show, and dedicated $50 from any one that sold to go to the same wildlife rescue place. Just a little thing, but it did make me feel at least there was something I could do, however little.

Good for you! A fresh start!

That 57% is the average... some keep off less, some more.... I have seen the habits of people who keep weight loss off posted here, but it is about anybody that loses weight, not just the sleeve. Would be interesting to know if there are special rules for those with the sleeve....

Saw this a while back, Diligence Diligence Diligence!

I haven't read any NSVs in ages, and it has been so fun!

I agree! Its really nice to have all that experience around. Mistakes and success all make for some good deep knowledge. And its nice to be able to speak freely about our experiences! Welcome and welcome back Vets!

Valentines Chalange: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291848-valentines-challenge/ I am a vegetarian too, and managed to lose to goal on veggies, dairy and eggs(a few). It can be done. I also went through a period of time where I was gaining... and it took a while to really turn it around, but I did, and am now at goal after 3 years. I find I really have to cook to get the best quality vegetarian food, with the occasional meal out. So many restaurants serve Pasta or french fries and such for vegetarians, really junk food. I had to really get creative to get enough Protein in, but it can be done. Pasta does have some protein, but really most of it is not that great for you. I pick out Dreamfields or whole wheat pasta and measure out 1 oz if I want pasta. how about: low fat cheese sticks, soy and regular milk, yogurt, seitan products, TVP, tofu, Dried tofu sheets (yuba) Beans, nuts, nut butters, seeds, tempi, eggs, egg whites... there are so many veggitarian sources of protein to choose from, morning star has some great products. I make my own "turkey", meat loaf and beef steaks from great recipes I have found along the way. It does take work, but you can make and freeze in individual servings. I cook on sunday for the week. Really use those veggies too, most of them are low calorie and so delicious, raw or cooked. I make a pot of veggie Soup sometimes every night of the week (then its on to stir fries and casseroles...) You can do it! Just stay away from sugar, white flour and the like... dump it out or give it away! Set yourself up for success by planing ahead, shopping for success, figure out your favorite foods and modify them to fit your protein and lower carb needs. I like mexican food, but could not eat that every day or fat fat fat!!!! I do make pots of tomato veggie soup, with chili and cumin, sliced onions,"groun round" and a tiny bit of sweet corn... really so good, and leaves me feeling like I just ate a big mexican meal. My husband likes it too. You can do this! Use Myfitnesspal, measure or weigh the food for a while, then test again now and then... weight yourself, and measure yourself too! Its a new start. Get out there and move, find something you have always wanted to try, or learn... I started birdwatching, and go out the the local "wilds" 2-3 times a week for a walk and a look. I don't even know I am exercising, its just so fun and beautiful! And last by not least, hang out here, the support is great!

Even though I was well into menopause, my Doc warned me to use double birth control, because your fat dumps lots of hormones while losing weight, and you can get pregnant!! I did not want to hear this at 57!

I had my surgery Jan 19th three years ago. So glad I did! Best of luck to you, the time will fly!

Here ya go! http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/393-cosmetic-reconstructive-surgery/

Ditto Miss Mac!

I feel like I am in a "growth opportunity" phase too. Feeling very uncomfortable about several things, but just trying to take a deep breath and look for the opportunity. I once heard in a teaching I went too- "Most people run away when they meet a difficult situation, but there is gold buried in that pile of sh1t! If you run away, you won't find it!" (paraphrased, but not that much!)... Dalai Lama!!! I always remember that, but sometimes I still just want to run away before I find the gold! coops, you would look great in a longer bob, I like your hair short, but I am the same way, I miss my longer hair. I think I need to cut (trim) mine a bit, the ends are looking splitty and thinish... and the color is faded on the ends too... maybe just a couple of inches.. in a more blunt bob as well....

Life IS strange isn't it!?

Here here! ^^^^

You couldn't look any cuter if you tried! The red looks fantastic on you, and being able to pull off a sleeveless is a dream of mine. Like she says ^^^ so true. And good foundations.

Just a heads up, the crew here doing the 5;2 don't use their TDEE for the feast day, but a "regular/sleeve" days calories, most being between 1100-1500. Then the 500-550 on fast days. For all I know the regular TDEE may work fine, during holidays I was eating closer to TDEE on some of my party days, and came out the other end ok. Do work on the veggies, that is really stressed in the 5:2 plan. They are big on veggie soups and such for fast day meals... Have fun and hope it gets things rolling for you again! some ideas http://www.pinterest.com/eclectic_gal/5-2-diet-recipes/

Yes it would(big time!), but it can still be a normal thing to happen to a person who is doing all the right things.